Who I am or Who I've Been
by xXWintersDescent
Summary: Welcome to a KotOR-verse where Revan is a snarky teen smuggler, a dashing 17 year old lieutenant survives the Endar Spire, and Carth's son joins the quest for the Star Forge. Revan/OC, Carth/Bastila, Mission/Dustil, Canderous/Juhani. AU. Very AU.
1. As far as crazy mornings go

**Who I am or Who I've been**

**by rockforthecross74  
**

**

* * *

This is a series of one-shots that adhere to the individual timelines for each of the planets. It is, however, completely non-canonical with the exception of this prologue. Some of these snippets of plotline are made-up completely, some are improvised, and some are all-out narrations of what goes on in KOTOR with my own personal twist. Expect anything and everything when it comes to plot twists, and at the conclusion you'll get to choose your own ending. The first chapter is kind of dull and you can skip it if you like - it's 12 pages of pure unadulterated canon that you would've seen in the game anyway. If you're willing to brave my literary mediocrity without giving up on this fic completely, by all means go ahead.  
**

**OC/PC descriptions**

**Xana Dakari - My version of Revan. 17 years old. Has midnight black, shoulder length hair cut into spiky razor-texture layers, and sideswept bangs. Wears heavy black eyeliner and a red flight jacket & black skinny jeans or a black jumpsuit. Was part of a four-person smuggling crew for 7 months before retiring and deciding to become a scout, at which point she was recruited into the Republic military. Very outspoken, sarcastic, and independent. Loves solitude. Also contemplative, soft-hearted, and empathetic, though she tries hard to mask these qualities.**

**Talon Averra - ****17 1/2 years old. ****Lieutenant in the Republic navy and survivor of the Endar Spire. Ranged weapons expert specializing in sniper ops. Protege, close friend, and considered "son" of Carth Onasi. Wears a similar outfit to Carth, except he favors a grey muscle shirt and dark brown coat instead of an orange jacket. Has brownish-black hair in shredded layers and a partial fringe covering the left side of his forehead and cheek. Talon has a dual sided personality, switching between the reserved, war-hardened soldier and a compassionate, kind boy trying to make up for friendships and relationships lost on his home planet.**

Soundtrack:

Waking up - Wake Me Up When September Ends by Green Day

Fighting Sith - Desperation and Reform by Relient K

In the cantina - Let the Flames Begin by Paramore

Singing - _Again (acoustic version)_ by Flyleaf, _Pressure (acoustic version) _ by Paramore, and _Miniature Disasters_ by KT Tunstall)

* * *

_A desperate escape. An innocent life lost so two may be saved. A crash gone horribly wrong._

_The last thing Xana Dakari had seen was the interior of her escape pod, illuminated red from the emergency lights, and the faulty safety harness she had been attempting to fasten. Now she only floated blissfully in a sea of black. She wondered briefly whether she was dead or simply unconscious. The answer manifested itself as a vision sprang to life within her mind. She watched passively as two figures argued in the midst of an epic space battle. They were polar opposites of each other; one dark and foreboding, cloaked in tattered black robes, and the other bright and beautiful - pretty much the definition of a Jedi in her appearance. Explosions rocked the room and they both fell;__ Xana just stared on as if she were merely watching a holo-film.  
_

The vision faded before Xana's eyes and reality came back to her with all the gentleness of a herd of seriously ticked-off banthas. The first thing she became aware of was a steady, rhythmic pounding in her head.

Foggy voices drifted from across the room, both deep and unfamiliar. She could make out a word in their conversation every now and then, but they hardly registered in her dazed mind. The pounding intensified and she scrunched up her face, wishing to be back in her painless slumber again. Now she preoccupied herself with testing out her limbs. She wiggled her fingers, then her toes. Those were working just fine, so she tentatively attempted to move her limbs. Dull pain shot through her sore muscles and her eyes popped open.

Xana winced at the dim amount of light emanating from the apartment's flickering fixtures. Confused and disorientated, her gaze flitted to the window across the room. The sun was only just beginning to dawn, with little rivulets of light peeking over an impossibly huge and elegant skyline. More uneasiness set in as she realized she didn't recognize her surroundings and she racked her brain trying to come up with an explanation as to how she got here. Xana shifted aside the covers reluctantly, grimacing at the shooting pain that coursed through her entire frame as a result.

She nearly jumped as a soothing greeting rang out from across the room. "Good, you're awake. Nice to see you up and about instead of thrashing around in your sleep. You must have been having one hell of a nightmare." Xana whipped her head around to see the captain and recruit from the Endar Spire sitting at a small table nearby, playing pazaak. Suddenly her vision lilted and she leaned heavily on the edge of the bunk to fight off the waves of dizziness.

It all came back to her now as she sat there: the Endar Spire under attack, the escape, the crash and..._whoa wait, he was watching me have nightmares? Yeah, it's completely fragging NORMAL for your commanding officer to watch you sleep. Not creepy or stalkerish at ALL... _Her headache intensified again. _  
_

"How long have I been out?", she groaned.

"Few days. You took a pretty bad smack to the head so we figured it would be best to let you rest."

"What the crap! I probably have a fragging concussion and you let me sleep? I could've fallen into a coma!"

Carth exchanged nervous glances with the young man before speaking up. "Uh, we didn't really think of that at the time, but you seem to be fine now!" A pang of irritation and displeasure coursed through her gut. She was in no mood to deal with two bumbling individuals who didn't seem to care much about her well-being. On the other hand, they had rescued her from the wreckage...

_One step at a time, Xana. See if you can walk first, think about these guys' character later._

The recruit made a move to get up and help her, but she merely clamped her eyes shut and waved him off. Gritting her teeth, she opened her eyes again and shuffled over to the table. As soon as she gingerly took a seat, she asked the necessary questions - where were they, what was the situation, and were there any extra details. Apparently they were on a planet called Taris, which was under Sith occupation, with no way of getting off-planet before they were found. And, according to Carth, after the crash she was knocked out by one of her own bags and had to be carried to the abandoned apartment they were now hiding in. Which, added the recruit, was no easy feat considering that said bags had become stuck to her arm and they had to carry those as well. Xana's gaze settled on her battered duffel bag, field pack, and guitar case she had insisted on escaping with.

Letting no embarassment over their difficulties show, she stated boldly. "Those were necessary. In addition to some personal belongings, I've got medpacks, weps, ammo, food, and a small supply of credits in there, which should be enough to get us on our feet while we decide what we're gonna do."

Another quick glance around the apartment indicated that the two hadn't bothered to bring anything themselves, so she treated herself to a smug grin. The recruit piped up, "Fine, but you're paying for my hernia surgery next time I have to haul your unconscious arse _and_ your bags fifty meters and twenty floors from a crash site!"

A well-practiced deathglare from Xana was enough to make him end his outburst and resume staring down at his cards.

Carth cleared his throat, motioned to the refresher door, and said, "Why don't you go get ready, and as soon as you're done we'll head out. I don't think you two know each other yet, so Talon, this is Xana Dakari, seventeen year old former smuggler hired into the Republic army for scouting purposes. She's a seasoned explorer, understands a remarkable number of alien languages, and…"

"Wait, how do you even know that?"

"Uh, well, the only reading material around here was your service record that we found in your bag…"

"WHAT? This is unbelievable - I'm out a few days and you're already rifling through all my stuff! Stalker much?"

"Er, anyway, this is Lieutenant Talon Averra, he's going to be working with us to find a Jedi named Bastila. It's crucial that we find her, because she possesses a rare Jedi gift called Battle Meditation and she's the Republic's last hope for winning the war. Hopefully she survived the crash landing in the undercity, but either way we're not getting off this planet without her."

Xana swallowed her anger and focused on the moment. _We? Sorry dude, there's no "we" here. _"I think I'll just take my chances on my own. I don't feel like going on a Jedi hunt right this moment and I'm kind of a loner anyway. I'll survive."

"Don't be a fool, the only way you're going to get off Taris before the Sith find you is if we find her first. Remember the whole 'planetary lockdown' issue? Face it, you need us as much as we need you if we're going to survive."

_Okay, somebody just got a lot more pushy. Meh, might as well play along. One adventure is just as good as another and it's not like I got anything better to do. _"Alright, I'm in. You might be right anyhow, though I strongly disagree with your opinion that I can't handle myself. I'm perfectly capable of getting through this on my own, and I'm not afraid to prove it to you."

Carth held his hands up in a placating gesture. "I have no doubt that you can, though I do think maybe you should stay here for a while with your injuries and all."

"No, I'm not staying behind! Dude, you're the one that wanted me to come in the first place! Look, they're just pulled muscles and bruises. I'll ignore the pain. Simple as that. And judging from the fact that this is a long-abandoned apartment you apparently broke into while burdened down with 'my unconscious arse', it's probably not that much more secure either." She embellished a bit on the last point – another observation of her surroundings and she was slightly awed at the posh interior of the "run-down" apartment. She actually hadn't stayed in a place this nice in who knows how long, but she was an excellent bluff and Carth bought right into it.

"Ok, fine. I won't make you stay behind, though I really think you need some more time to recover. If you are coming, then I suggest you get ready and we'll see if we can find you a clinic or at least a few medpacs along the way."

She just nodded and strolled over to where her bags were leaned against the window. The guitar was ok, a few scratches and small dents but in remarkably good shape. The duffel bag with all her things were unharmed as well, and luckily the frag grenades in her field pack were intact...that could have potentially ended badly. She grabbed an armful of clothes, toiletries, and makeup and headed for the fresher.

One look in the mirror was all it took to make her want to facepalm, that is, if her head wasn't still throbbing. Her naturally wavy hair hadn't been cared for at all was curling in all different directions, and the black makeup she had worn on the _Spire_ was now effectively smudged all over her face. _Oh well, time for damage control_.

An hour later, Xana emerged wearing a loose black V-neck shirt, dark red flight jacket, black skinny jeans, and her leather knee boots. Her hair was pulled back in a short ponytail at the base of her neck and new heavy black makeup was applied. Little could be done to hide the cuts and bruises from the crash but at least now she looked less like a Republic refugee and more like a normal person.

_What a place to crash-land. I lucked out big time, _Xana thought as her gaze locked onto the vast and beautiful cityscape now gleaming in the morning's pure sunlight. Metallic and rounded silver spires dotted the landscape, aesthetic walkways decorated with beautiful sculptures were visible between buildings, and the brilliant show of lights and speeder traffic in the morning mist...this was city life at its most breathtaking.

She walked up to the window, stopping next to a beat-up easy chair that Talon had made himself comfortable in, and the two simply looked out at the city for a while. He didn't acknowledge her presence, just continued to sit there, head tilted slightly as he observed the city come alive before them.

Talon asked randomly, "So what do you do for a living anyway?"

Xana leaned back against where the windowpane met the wall and replied nonchalantly, "Different stuff. Computer slicing, demolitions, research, recon, exploring, you know. Just whatever gets me to the next spaceport. If no jobs come up then me and my crew would perform songs in cantinas."

"Yeah?"

"That's what the guitar is for. The tips are decent enough to get us to the next place."

"Where do you go? Core worlds? Mid Rim?"

"Nah, I've been to Coruscant a couple times, but we usually traveled in the Outer Rim. When we'd get low on credits, we'd visit mining and farming planets, sometimes minor smuggling planets if my crew really wanted to. If we saved up a bit, then we'd splurge and randomly explore wherever sounded most exotic and adventurous at the time. I'm pretty sure I've explored planets you've never even heard of."

"Hnh. Must be great to live like that - nothing to worry about other than the next day's credits and adventure."

"Sure is." Xana looked down on the city like a child opening a Christmas present. Survival situation or no, this was unexplored - though certainly not unheard of - territory and she was rearing to get out and experience it.

Almost as if he had read her mind, Talon commented, "You're not going to think it's so great once we get into the lower levels. Even with your extensive experience, you'll probably be flagging down random shuttles to get off this rock once we get back from searching the under-city."

Xana retorted quietly, "I've read a little about this planet in my spare time, it's just I've never seen it in person. It's actually one of the most interesting places I've studied. Such a diverse place. That's probably just wishful thinking though, I've always loved metropolis planets the most."

"_Taris_ interesting? Diverse? At the rate things are going here it's not much better than Nar Shaddaa! Why would you want to study, much less visit, someplace like this?"

"I don't know, that's just the way I think and see things. And come to think of it, I'd like to see Nar Shaddaa as well. Think maybe I'll get myself a shuttle there if..._once_...we escape."

Talon just looked at her incredulously. "You _want_ to see Nar Shaddaa? Trust me, no you don't. Reading about a place in a sheltered little library is no substitute for the real deal. Rough, backwater refugee traps are no place for anyone, even people like you." He instantly regretted his words; he had no idea just how seasoned an explorer she was and she could potentially throw his argument right back in his face.

Instead, Xana's face turned red with anger, then relaxed suddenly as she replied with calculating coldness, "You don't know where I'm _from. _Places like Taris, Nar Shaddaa, even Telos' Citadel Station in its' current state are breathtakingly beautiful and mind-boggling compared to where I grew up. You – and everyone else it seems - have to realize how lucky you are to have grown up in such a galaxy, to have people with you to teach you the ropes of how to survive and thrive in this kind of society my world can only dream of. I'm serious, most people on my homeworld can only look at the stars and speculate what's out there and, at most, drift along in primitive craft in our planet's orbit!

"Now you listen to me. I've spent nights eating venison over a lone fire in the Tatooine desert. I've visited Mustafar and brushed it off as a tropical vacation. I've patrolled smuggling routes, land and space, for spare credits. I've raced speederbikes down Nabooian waterfalls. Each and every day I wake up not knowing if I'm going to have enough credits to eat, but I love life because being in this galaxy is like a never-ending adventure to me. But it seems like people are more concerned with griping about the world rather than simply enjoying it. Sad, really, that people are so numbed to the truly amazing things in their everyday lives that only outsiders can see the galaxy for what it really is anymore."

Talon was left staring back at her with his eyes wide and eyebrows raised, more than a little surprised at the intensity of her response. Xana broke her fierce gaze at him but her eyes still smoldered. Of course he didn't understand. It was foolish to expect anything else.

Deeming the conversation over, Xana strode back to her possessions, stuffing her field pack with all the essential supplies and credits. Her customized stealth unit looked enough like a belt, so that could stay on her person. She had no choice but to carry the beautiful blue vibroblade she'd gotten from the Endar Spire.

Taking a vibration cell and tossing it up in her palm nonchalantly, she walked over to the workbench and modified the sword. Xana surveyed the finished product with pride and gave a few tentative practice twirls. She twisted her arm this way and that to make up different strikes, then twirled and jabbed, finally finishing her invisible opponent with an 7-shaped slash.

The sword was still uncomfortably heavy and it made her stomach churn just to be holding it and knowing it might be her lifeline for the next few weeks. If she was lucky, maybe she wouldn't have to use it, but it was more than likely they'd run into trouble in the Lower City and she was determined to pull her own weight.

Carth and Talon waited by the door for Xana, passively watching her imaginary duel. Xana realized this and reddened, tying the field pack to her waist and hurrying out the door. As soon as they exited their makeshift base – just their luck – they found a Sith right in front of the door conducting a pointless raid. Xana considered slipping away while the commanding officer was preoccupied with shaking down one of the Duros residents, but the man was quick to notice a group of armed humans hiding in an apartment building full of aliens and immediately turned on them.

Talon unstrapped a Republic issue blaster rifle from his back as Carth deftly un-holstered two custom blaster pistols and the two began firing rapidly in the Sith's general direction. Xana ducked low enough to avoid the crossfire being exchanged and slashed the droids diagonally, just as she had practiced in the apartment, taking them out in single strokes. The officer had already fallen thanks to Carth and Talon.

The Duros thanked them profusely, Xana asserting that they were only too happy to help rescue him.

Eager to get out of the building, Xana ran up to the nearest door and, finding it locked, presumed that it had something to do with the state of the building or the firefight and sliced it. What greeted them on the other side was a very surprised and distraught young lady who promptly told them to get out of her apartment then mumbled something about them being more courteous than a man named Holdan.

Xana emerged a few minutes later, quite embarrassed at her blunder but now tasked with removing an unjust bounty on the young lady.

When they found the right door and were traveling down the shaky and grimy lift to the street below, Talon turned to Xana and asked, "Not that I'm not glad you agreed to help her and all, but why'd you barge into her apartment in the first place? Didn't you see the glowing sign above her door with an apartment number on it...or the one with the lift symbol on it two doors down?"

Xana shrugged and smoothly replied that she must have not been paying attention. The lift reached its' destination before he could ask more questions.

* * *

A palm waved in front of her line of vision suddenly and she lurched back.

"You ok, kid? You kinda zoned out there for a minute. After we crashed I did some scouting around and found out there's a clinic up the street a little. I think it would be best if we got you checked out...you did mention having a concussion and that dazed look on your face is worrying me."

The look of genuine concern clouding Carth's features, as well as the less intense one displayed on Talon's face that was nonetheless there, was enough to make Xana bite back the terse reply she was already forming and nod in agreement. Head injuries, to be honest, made her nervous and even though she felt fine, she really didn't want to take chances.

* * *

Xana, Talon, and Carth exited the state of the art little clinic, a few more medpacs in hand. Luckily, the crash had done no serious damage to any of them save for the surface injuries that were already there, and a few kolto treatments had taken care of those rather quickly. Xana's "zoning out" and prolonged sleep were expected aftereffects of the sudden impact, and would go away with time.

What really took up the bulk of their time in the establishment was Xana's wanting to find out more about a strange disease that ran rampant through the planet's undercity, spread by terrifying creatures called rakghouls. Her curiosity and natural thirst for information overrode any priority the mission had in her mind and she and Dr. Forn had sat in the lobby long after the treatment was finished, her asking questions endlessly and him gladly telling her all he knew.

First off – and this is what worried Xana the most – it was incurable and its' effects were severe and quick-acting, though the Sith troops on the planet were rumored to have some sort of vaccination for it. However, it was possible for him to duplicate the cure if he had a sample. Xana eagerly promised to do what she could to get her hands on that cure while she was down there, but he shushed her for fear of the Sith overhearing and kindly sent them on their way.

She wanted to do it nonetheless, mainly because success would save countless lives and they would inevitably have to go into the undercity anyway. She'd rather not be at risk for contracting an incurable disease, and having a vial of the antidote with them would make her feel much easier about heading down there.

"So where do we go from here?", asked Talon. That was the question on everyone's mind and it was obvious that each of them was as clueless as the others on where to start.

"The cantina's the best place to try and get information, I think we should start there.", Carth declared, leading the two teenagers back in the direction of the apartment.

"Plus there might be a few opportunities to make some extra credits..." added Xana, digging a pazaak deck out of her pocket and shuffling it mid-air.

"We are _not_ wasting our last credits on pazaak.", Carth cut in.

"_My _last credits." Xana corrected him snarkily but held her hands up in a placating gesture as he snapped around to glare at her. "Okay okay, no pazaak. Man, you take this teamwork thing way too seriously."

They entered the mazelike corridor across from the apartment building and came out in front of a skyscraper covered in colorful neon signs and advertisements. Noting the Sith guard in front of the entrance, the guys holstered their blasters while Xana retracted her vibroblade into its' hilt and stowed it in her pocket.

They were able to get in without incident, pausing a bit to let their eyes adjust to the dim lighting. The brightest things in the circular, hazy room were the overabundant neon signs and viewscreens lining the walls. The only working lighting fixtures were embedded into the walls next to tables, and patrons of all backgrounds and species mingled in a large crowd. Xana just stared around in awe, the whole scene looking fascinatingly futuristic to her.

She delicately circled the room, trying to blend in with the shadows. Finding an empty table next to the music lounge, she beckoned her companions over before murmuring conspiratorially to them.

"Here's what we need to do. Carth, I want you to ask around, get info about where we should go and what we should do to get into the lower city. Try to be nonchalant about it, act like you're a tourist or bored spacer passing through. Talon, you're with me. Obviously if we all scatter off in different directions at once it's going to look sketchy."

Both guys nodded, ultimately deciding that she was the expert on this stuff so they should at least try playing it her way. Carth waited a few moments before getting up and making small talk with the nearest spacer. Xana leaned forward on her elbows to look for a good mark to drill for information while Talon took a few moments to assess his companion.

In the direct light, she usually looked harsh and exacting, her face always fixed in an apathetic glare and her black-rimmed, hazel eyes seeming to bore through anything she looked at. Of course, her hardcore getup and prominently holstered vibroblade did a lot to add to the effect. But in the low lighting, with the neon signs surrounding them casting multicolored shadows all over her face, the sinister expression seemed to be replaced with a myriad of emotions running across her eyes and her features softened. She really was pretty when she smiled and was at peace, or when you really took the time to observe her.

Then those soft yet piercing hazel eyes turned on him and he averted his gaze. She ignored him and jerked her head toward a young man just inside the door of the music lounge. "He looks easy enough, somebody who probably knows quite a few things around here. I can tell cause he's dressed similar to the upper class Tarisians, and he'll be eager enough to share info since, judging by the looks of the crowd around him, nobody's talked to him all night and he's probably spoiling for some conversation."

Talon nodded mutely.

"Come with me. I just need you to stand a few feet behind me, you know, for backup purposes in case anything goes south." He silently followed her to the entrance of the music lounge and leaned against the doorjamb as she sauntered up. Pretending to be absorbed in watching the musicians, she casually murmured, "Hey."

The man, who looked to be only a couple years older than Xana, brightened considerably and turned to her, suavely rambling, "Hi! I'm Yun Genda. I don't think I've seen you around here before, but then again, how would I know? They don't give us Sith at the military base much time off."

Xana blanched noticeably. _Great, my 'perfect' mark for info is actually a Sith soldier. Maybe I could play this off without getting us all caught…_ Behind her, Talon began to glare menacingly at Yun, the light from the doorway casting scary shadows over his face. Yun, oblivious, continued to chat up Xana.

"I'm surprised you're talking to me at all. Most offworlders hate the Sith, being trapped here because of the quarantine and all."

"Well, you're just trying to do your job aren't you? Can't really blame you for that." Swallowing her pride, she tried to imbue as much kind patronization into her voice as possible, and he seemed to buy it.

"True – it's not easy for me either, being stationed on this backwater planet. But I have to make the best of things."

"Everyone has their ups and downs, it's how you deal with them that counts." Xana was almost physically ill at the optimism-laced, clichéd monologue she was feeding the guy. They talked about perspective for a little while longer before she excused herself with a hurried, "Gotta go, nice talking to you.", and left without giving him a chance to reply.

Talon was already waiting at their table and the moment she sat down, head in her hands, he hissed, "A _Sith_! Your idea of a person to ask about finding ways to break through the Sith quarantine is a _Sith soldier_? Are you trying to get us caught?"

Xana snapped, "Oh shut up, I never said I was _good_ at picking out marks. But while I was in there I think I might have seen a way for us to get credits. Go get my guitar."

"Wha-"

"Just _go_. Trust me, okay?" Talon reluctantly got up and walked off in the direction of the exit, while Xana went off to find the manager of the music lounge.

* * *

As soon as Talon re-entered the cantina, black guitar in hand, he was immediately mobbed by Xana, who snatched the instrument and thanked him profusely.

"You know, at this point I'm starting to suspect you actually want us to get caught."

"Just come on!", she called back to him breathlessly, already halfway across the cantina. He sighed and followed, possessing an idle curiosity as to how she'd make this play out. By the time he got there, she was already being announced as 'an undiscovered new performer taking over the next set for tonight only' and perching herself on a stool set on the stage.

Few patrons even took notice of her as she strummed a few chords in a soft intro. As soon as she let her rich, beautiful alto voice loose, however, the whole room seemed to grow still and listen in reverence to the mournful yet poetic lyrics. She took no notice, but rather closed her eyes and began to sway, immersing herself in the music completely. Xana belted out high notes and switched to falsetto tones without missing a beat or faltering in her strumming, much to Talon's amazement. When the song ended, she got a smattering of applause and cheers, which Talon contributed to – loudly – without a moment's hesitation.

She smiled appreciatively at her audience, locking her gaze with Talon's for a moment, before moving onto the next one. It was still somewhat sad and angst-filled, but more upbeat, and the crowd was captivated further. Before the final song, she called the band back up on stage and asked to sing with them. The team of Bith musicians filed back up onto the stage behind her and she started to play a jazzy tune, the aliens catching on and providing a background beat in tandem.

Just as she reached the chorus, Carth strode in, obviously looking for them. His eyes bugged out for a moment as he took in the sight of Xana singing on stage, bathed in a white spotlight, and a room full of Sith, Tarisians, and aliens alike clapping to the beat of the music. He seized Talon by the shoulder and exclaimed, "Wha-? How? WHY?"

Talon smiled and shrugged out of Carth's grasp. "Relax, sir, she's up there anonymously, she's found some way to get credits out of this, and you have to admit she's pretty good."

Carth glanced from the girl singing animatedly on the stage to his fellow soldier, who was now tapping his foot and swaying his shoulders lightly. To his own credit, he didn't let the matter slide just yet, but he did calm down and allow himself to be carried away by the tune for the final few minutes it lasted_. _He had to admit, she _was_ good. As the final few notes rang out, he clapped and cheered along with the rest of the crowd as she descended the stage.

Xana received her share of tips, accepted the compliments and kind remarks from patrons good-naturedly, and was about to make her escape so she could meet up with Talon and Carth when she was overtaken by the last person she wanted to see again.

"Wow, that was amazing! You never mentioned you were a performer, and a talented one at that!" Yun Genda's smooth, strange accent permeated the din from behind her, and she put on a fake, cheesy smile as she turned to face him. "Oh, hey Yun…"

"Look, my shift starts soon and I've got to leave, but I wanted to stop by and tell you I really want to see you again. Me and a few other junior Sith officers are having a party in the south apartment complex after our shifts end. Some of us aren't even going back to the base to lock up our uniforms."

Xana edged away slightly, coloring her reply with a tinge of feigned disappointment and a tone that screamed 'I really don't want to go so please leave now'. "Uh, sorry Yun, but I don't think I can make it…"

He looked genuinely affronted for a moment before replying in a hurt yet teasing manner, "Hey, just cause I'm a Sith doesn't mean I don't know how to have a good time. You'll enjoy yourself, I promise. See you there." He shot her a lilted, dashing smile before disappearing into the crowds and was quickly replaced by Carth and Talon. "What was THAT?", yelped Carth.

Xana looked around the room apprehensively as a hint and replied, "Tell you back at the apartment. What did you find out?"

"For starters, the turbolift to the lower city is guarded by the Sith, though security is rumored to be pretty lax."

"Is that so?" A devious smirk settled across Xana's face. "C'mon. I think I've got a way to get us past, and I guarantee you're going to love it."

* * *

"A _party_? Hosted by Sith? You can't be serious."

"Yes, and I am. The Sith officer I talked to said, and I quote, 'some of us aren't even going back to base to lock up our uniforms.' So I say we attend, and see if we can't –salvage – a disguise or two. If it succeeds, then we've got a free ticket into the lower city if we pose as a patrol. If not, then we lose nothing."

"But our cover…", added Talon. Xana shot him a glare and snapped, "Well, do either of you have a better plan to get past the guard to the Lower City?" Both shook their heads. "Okay then, it's pretty late in the afternoon so let's head down to the shops and get us some civvie clothes and supplies. That little set I sang in the cantina brought in...", she dug into her pocket and counted out credits, "150 big ones, so that should be enough."

Talon and Carth groaned loudly at the very thought of going shopping with Xana, for party clothes of all things. "Aw come on boys," she cajoled, clapping both of their backs good-naturedly, "Cheer up. We're goin' to our very first Sith party!"

* * *

**Update 9/23/10 - Re-vamped this chapter again since I can't seem to get it quite right. I messed up majorly with beginning this fic and this chapter was poorly written and lengthy, so I decided to dig deep and do some MAJOR beta edits. Hopefully most of you out there haven't given up on this story. It's a learning process, one I've caught onto slowly but surely =)**


	2. Tarisian Shopping Spree of Randomness!

Soundtrack: The Great Escape by Boys Like Girls (one verse/chorus pairing for every shop)

**Author's Note: This is an AU one-shot, the first of many, that will be more like a song-fic but is still fully understandable without the lyrics. Which explains why it's choppy at some points. I don't want to quote the lyrics directly cause I'm not sure if that's a copyright infringement and my account will be suspended if it is.** **A version with lyrics can be found at my LiveJournal account, crossfirex7x. Link to chapter: **[dot] (FanFiction won't let me put in a whole link so just enter in the missing dot and you're good to go)

* * *

Xana and Talon weaved in and out of the milling crowds in the northern shopping district, bursting with contagious excitement. Taris' nightlife, even only at dusk, really was spectacular – the night was lit up everywhere by multicolored neon signs, shop windows, apartment lights, and the twinkling of skyscrapers and speeders all around them. They strode along in silent exuberance, just happy to be two teenagers enjoying a night out rather than Republic fugitives living on borrowed time. Everything just seemed so alive to their young eyes, and they felt as if the whole city was theirs.

A boutique window full of garish, outrageous clothes caught Xana's eyes, and she shouted to Talon over the crowd, "We got time to kill; let's look in here awhile." He reluctantly followedher as she disappeared into the shop.

* * *

Xana emerged from her changing room wearing a floor length gown made of possibly the loudest material on the whole planet. Patches of bright, complementary colors swam together on the fabric, coated in glitter and sequins. "Wait, wait...now for the final touch." She donned a matching eye mask with blue feathers sticking out of it, before sticking her tongue out like a rockstar and striking a crazy pose in the mirror. Talon couldn't help but laugh.

She rounded on him, hands on her hips, before tossing him a bundle of silky cloth she produced from her shopping cart. "You think that's so funny, you're going to love this. Go try it on.", she teased jauntily. "And here's the pants to match." Another garment, lime green this time, tossed to him.

"But..."

"_Go._" She pointed to the changing room like a mother ordering her child to go to bed. Rolling his eyes, Talon obliged.

Moments later, he emerged wearing overly baggy, blindingly green formal pants patterned with strips of Alderaanian lace, and a sheer silk shirt almost covered in ruffles from neck to cuffs. He took one look in the mirror and jumped back, shouting, "GAH! XANA!"

Before he could escape back into the changing room, Xana ran around the corner and jumped, smashing a blue feather-and-sequin-covered fedora onto his head as she zoomed by. It was her turn to laugh uproariously. "Don't you look dashing...now all you need is the matching gloves..." She held up a pair of pale blue, ruffled monstrosities as he backed away slowly.

He took another look in the mirror, and couldn't help but snigger at how ridiculous his getup was. She sidled up to him and posed in the mirror again. "Looks good to me. I say we go to the party like this. Them Sith are gonna be like", her voice took on a ghetto accent, "Ooh snap they look gooooooood." She snapped her fingers for emphasis and made a stupid face. This time they actually fell over laughing.

Xana and Talon then proceeded to try on every wacky outfit they could find in the whole store before the staff came after them and they admitted they couldn't actually afford anything. They were promptly booted out into the street.

Walking a while longer, Xana spied an ornate looking cosmetics store. This time Talon actually had to be dragged in kicking and screaming.

After calming him down and ignoring a few glares from the sales staff, Xana perused the aisles, stopping in front of a dark purple bottle of lavender scent. She sampled the perfume, sniffing appreciatively as the delicate fragrance made contact with her wrist. Talon, standing behind her trying to look as manly as possible, loved the smell of the perfume but said nothing. There was no way he, a war-hardened soldier, was going to be her shopping buddy in a cosmetics store. Until...

"Talon, what do you think of this one?" Xana asked, giggling. He groaned inwardly; she was having a laugh at his expense and there was no way out of this without being a pansy or insulting her in some way. He mumbled something under his breath in response.

"I'm sorry, what was that? I didn't hear you." She brought her hand to her ear and leaned in melodramatically.

"I _said_ I kriffing _like_ it, okay?", he growled, shoving his hands into his pockets and shuffling away like a petulant child. Xana smirked mischievously as her eyes settled on a bottle of bright pink, obnoxious-smelling perfume. _It shouldn't be this fun...or easy...to annoy him._ She stealthily closed her hand around the bottle while his back was turned, walked up right behind him and..

"HEY TALON!"

"Wha-" _Spritz_. A cloud of disgusting, cotton-candy flavored _stank_ surrounded him and he doubled over in a coughing fit. "Oh, it's on." He yanked a notoriously gross brand of men's body spray off the nearest shelf and proceeded to coat her face with the stuff. She reached over blindly behind her, got hold of a huge bottle of old lady perfume and retaliated, using it like a squirt gun as she chased the now cowering boy through the aisles.

The perfume fight went on until the two teens, now reeking strongly of at least ten different fragrances, were kicked out onto the sidewalk yet again. This time pedestrians and Sith soldiers alike gave them a wide berth as they resumed walking.

Finally they came upon an inexpensive clothing store selling stuff identical to what all upper city Tarisians wore. _Perfect._

Inside, Xana walked over to a clothing display in the middle and pulled off a petite, dark purple tunic, burgundy-and-silver undershirt, and black leggings. She appraised the outfit for a moment before nodding in approval and walking over to help Talon with his purchase. He was looking indecisively at a navy blue tunic and a dark green one, both in horrendous shades.

"Nuh- uh. Now _these_ are what you're going to wanna get." Xana turned to a shelf just to his right and took a jet-black tunic and dark blue acid wash pants. He looked at the proffered outfit for a second before deciding he liked it and taking the bundle. "One more thing." Xana stopped at another clothing rack and selected a belt made up of thick silver links. "This is gonna look awesome with your tunic." Talon just smiled and let her add the belt to the top of the pile in his hands. The purchases were rung up quickly – the cashier holding her breath – and the two proceeded out into the cool night air, shopping bags in hand. They chatted about random stuff until Talon brought up the party.

"Uh, Xana?"

"Yeah?"

"Even with this stuff I don't think I'm going to blend in that well...I mean, I've never been to parties and I don't even know how to dance." He felt guilty for having her buy him clothes especially for the party and still somewhat complaining about having to go in the first place.

"No problem. I'll teach you." Xana set her bag down and began jumping and dancing right there on the sidewalk. "Just jump around and fling your arms randomly or stomp your feet to the rhythm and sway. Come on, try it with me."

"Xana...there's people staring. And Sith." Talon glanced nervously around at onlookers.

"Meh, who cares! It's not like we're ever gonna meet them again! Now come on!" Talon nervously began to copy her, and she exulted, "See, you're getting it!" She cut to the ending of her dance, sticking her arms into the air in jazz hands, one pointed to the sky and the other to the ground.

"Oh come on!"

"At least do the grand finale with me! I'm not leaving 'till you do!"

Talon, now completely mortified, grinned, "You're insufferable, you know that?" He mimicked the move sarcastically, and Xana picked up her bag, grinning back at him.

"Guilty as charged."

"Hey Xana?" He turned to look at her again as they headed in the direction of the apartment.

"Yeah?"

"Thanks. For everything. I actually had a really good time tonight."

"No problem. Hey, it's still a while yet before we have to get ready for the party. Wanna check out that dueling ring in the cantina?"

"Sure, though you'll probably be able to knock them out with your perfume alone."

Xana punched Talon's arm and ran ahead, the soldier catching up to her in a matter of moments.

~ Taris rang with a myriad of sounds as nightfall descended; the low hum of the crowd milling around, the constant whirring and beeping of speeder craft taking off and landing, the whooshes of millions of automated doors opening and closing as the night wore on. And, most importantly, the laughter and childish shouts accompanying a friendship newly forged.~

**Ladiez and gentledudes, here you have it, the first one-shot plot deviation of the series! I wanted to keep it on track for a little while longer but my friend gave me a Boys Like Girls CD and after hearing the first song I immediately thought of Xana and Talon having a night out and doing random teenagery stuff**. **And my mind wouldn't let me rest until I got this scene out and published so yeah...  
**

**Update 8/13: I decided not to do the Sith party after all and just go and skip to the Undercity, otherwise it'll drag on and on and they'll NEVER get off Taris if I go into detail about every little thing that happens in the game.  
**


	3. Let the good times roll,Lower City style

**Author's Note: Montage chapters are pretty much musical one-shots of stuff they don't show in the game, but are rather special plot developments focused on one or two characters. Just like normal chapters, the music isn't required, but it makes the reading experience so much more realistic and awesome so FOR THE LOVE OF MY EVER FLEETING SANITY PLEASE LOOK THEM UP thank you ^_^**

Musical Montage of Hardcore Epic Epicness #1 – Let the good times roll, Lower City Style

Soundtrack:

Apartment scene: Through the Dark by KT Tunstall

Lower city: Bring Me to Life by Thousand Foot Krutch

Slo-mo cantina scene: 4321 by Manafest

* * *

Speeder lights rushing by temporarily illuminated the interior of the darkened apartment, while obnoxious techno music blared from some unknown source in the building. Thumping bass rhythms shook through the walls and floor, nearly rocking Xana to sleep if it weren't for the constant noise and flashing lights coming from outside the uncovered window to her left.

She rolled over in bed, wrapping the thin blanket around her small frame ever more securely as she gently shimmied into the farthest corner of the bunk. Safe was the last thing she felt right now, trying to sleep in an abandoned, unfamiliar apartment on a strange planet, and on the run with two strangers no less. She squeezed her eyes shut, trying vainly to soothe herself. Still the disturbance broke through and she kicked the blanket off in frustration before grumpily sitting up.

_What I wouldn't give to be back with my old crew right now. I'd probably be listening to the soft hum of a hyperdrive – or Faye's snoring - and feeling secure cause Splicer and Jett were only a few feet from the door playing pazaak. Tomorrow we'd find a new job somehow, explore a little, get bored and move on, and everything would go on in our little ship as usual. _

She brought her knees up and hugged them to herself. For the first time since she was taken from her home planet, she was actually feeling scared, alone, and inexplicably restless. Nothing would make her more satisfied right now than to flop on her side and cry. Cry for her parents, cry to be taken home, cry at her apparent stupidity to leave her smuggling crew and get herself involved in a colossal, refugee-status-and-Sith-laden mess the first time she struck out on her own.

Maybe she'd be lucky and wake up in her soft, cushiony bed, in her old room, and realize it was all a crazy nightmare. She scoffed mentally at the shred of foolish hope. She, of all people, should know that fairytales never come true. Not in her galaxy and certainly not in this one. Tears started to form in the corner of her eyes and she grunted in frustration. Staying in her bunk and brooding was clearly the wrong way to get to sleep. Maybe a walk, some physical exercise, and fresh air would help.

Laying flat and rolling over again, she leaned halfway over the bunk to stare at the sleeping form on the floor right next to her. Talon was deeply slumbering on a thin, dirty mat he'd found under one of the bunks and his head was just within Xana's reaching distance.

Propping herself up on the floor with one arm, she reached out with the other and pushed his shoulder gently to wake him up. "Huh...whuzzat?"

He craned his head backwards to see Xana's pale and wide-eyed face illuminated dimly. "Urgh...Xana, what do you want? It's the middle of the night!"

Xana dangled her legs over the side of the bunk and bundled her blanket on her lap before whispering, "Talon, I can't sleep. I dunno, it's just this place and all the noise...and lights...I just can't."

"Well, what do you expect me to do about it?", snapped Talon. He was getting a bit cranky now since they'd had a rather tiring day and he just wanted to sleep.

She looked ashamed for a moment, during which he mentally slapped himself for being harsh, even if it was the wee hours of the morning. She was probably just homesick, he finally realized, and his callousness wouldn't be doing much to help in that case. His tone softened as he recalled all the times when he was a child and his little sister would come to his room afraid in the middle of the night, seeking comfort just as Xana seemed to be doing now. "Do you just want to talk with me or something till you fall asleep?"

Xana looked up from the spot on her blanket she had been staring at, and she replied, "Um actually, I was thinking about taking a walk to tire myself out and I was wondering if you'd wanna come with me." Her tone brightened considerably as she added, "You know, I think I saw some abandoned apartments when we were scouting out the lower city and I think we could find some good freebies in there if we looked."

Talon looked up at her incredulously, the disbelief showing clearly on his face despite the darkness.

"You woke me up to tell me you want to go _looting_ with me. In the lower city. At night."

"Well now you just made that idea sound a heck of a lot more awesome. Let's go." Xana ignored Talon's whispered protests and jumped out of bed, grabbing her jumpsuit and bolting for the fresher. When she emerged minutes later, looking just as fresh and energetic as she did that very morning, Talon realized he was already in too deep and dragged himself out of bed with an apathetic groan.

"Xana, we're not doing this. It's stupid. Just think about it for a second..."

"Shush, you're gonna wake Carth! If you're going to be a whinybaby about it then stay here and sleep. I'm gonna go get me some _loot_!", rolling the 'l' slightly and shoving a foot into one of her boots for emphasis. It was obvious she was prepared to go alone if necessary.

"And _why_ don't you want Carth to go?" Talon didn't bother to hide the exasperation in his tone.

"Cause he'll exaggerate his leadership role and go into bossy old dude mode and be like, 'You whippersnappers get back in bed, there's no way you're roaming gang-infested streets at midnight, you're gonna get yourselves shot' and yada yada yada... Point is, somehow he'll keep us from going - not like you, cause I know for a fact I can get you to come - and if not I'll still be fine."

"I'm not going and that's final, now will you get back in bed and let me sleep!"

"Ah, so what you're trying to say is you're not setting foot outside this apartment tonight? _Absolutely_ not? At all?"

Xana rose back to a standing position and crossed her arms saucily, her lips curled in a smirk. She silently dared him to keep opposing her and he glared back defiantly, every fiber of his being set on winning this argument...

* * *

(Twenty minutes later)

The lower city elevator opened to reveal a heavily scowling Talon and smugly exuberant Xana. He was wearing a combat suit from the Endar Spire and she sported a brand-new set of military armor. Both were armed and ready for anything, which was apparent in their cocky strides as they crossed the street and entered the door to the apartment complex. Wires sparked from broken paneling and lighting fixtures alike, the air smelled heavily of speeder exhaust and refuse, and a small coat of grime and rust coated nearly everything, but Xana paid it no mind. In fact, she seemed to admire it even, simply accepting the urban decay as part of the lower city's "charm" and "culture".

The turbolift opened and Xana immediately took a left and strutted down the corridor like a heroine straight out of holovid movies, drawing her vibroblade and twirling it menacingly. Talon trailed behind her, blasters outstretched in anticipation of the nearest threat.

Xana looked around the deserted building. The place was so bad it was difficult to tell which apartments were abandoned and which weren't, so she walked over to the nearest one and used her security skills to open the door. It slid open to reveal two very ticked-off Black Vulkars who immediately opened fire. Almost on instinct, Xana ducked right and left before charging in a serpentine pattern toward the two sentients and hacking away.

Her amateurish swordsmanship didn't get very many hits in, but she distracted the goons enough to let Talon have clear shots at them. The fact that she could hold off two male sentients twice her size in a melee fight was impressive enough. She didn't stop to think about it, just let her mind delve into a familiar undercurrent where nothing but the battle existed. Soon the fear melted away as she delved into a graceful pattern. _Block left, block right, spin, thrust, parry, block, block, block, jab, twist._

As they dropped to the ground, Xana disarmed and pocketed a few mines surrounding a supply cache without missing a beat. She tucked a few credits, stims, and medpacs into her bag and turned to toss Talon a few.

But he was already in another firefight. More Vulkars had come to back up their comrades and Talon was taking cover behind the doorjamb, firing at four opponents simultaneously. Xana sprinted right into the fray, trusting Talon to handle cover fire. Not a single plasma bolt touched her as she brought down two quarterstaff-wielding Twi'leks. The other two had fallen to some well-aimed sniper shots.

Several nearly empty apartments, five medpacs, eight grenades, two mines, and almost fifty credits later, Talon had to admit he was glad Xana forced him into coming. She was actually pretty funny, intelligent, resourceful, and good with melee combat despite having virtually no training.

She fumbled with the door control on the latest apartment and stopped. "Wait...wait hang on. We've been ambushed almost every time we open one of these things so we should probably make up a combat stance or something."

Talon crouched next to the door frame. "Alright, I'll take point and you flank me once I create a diversion."

Xana pondered for a moment before teasing, "Actually, I was thinking more along the lines of you shooting at point blank and me using you as a meat-shield."

He teased back, "_Maybe_ that'll work, if you didn't _love_ me too much to make me be the shield. Besides, why should I be the shield? You've got the better armor here."

She grinned and replied, "Yeah...just focus on watching yourself, sniper-tard. Don't want to let a stray blaster bolt puncture your ego."

He feigned mock-hurt and crossed his hands over his heart, "You wound me...really, really you do."

The two teens lapsed into a bout of light laughter before the lock budged and Xana jumped behind Talon, awaiting a volley of blaster fire.

What awaited them was a room, obviously not lived in for months, with a large strong-box in the center surrounded by expensive-looking holoprojectors.

"Jackpot", Xana cheered. Circling the strong-box, she noted a nasty looking force-field around it and a computer terminal in close proximity. She produced a strange looking datachip from her pocket, inserted it into the terminal, and began reading. "There's got to be information about how to bypass this thing somewhere...aha!"

Talon came up and peered over her shoulder. "What?"

She exulted, "This apartment used to belong to the manager of the Twisted Rancor Trio. Those holoprojectors have images of all the band members stored in them and all we have to do to unlock the box is activate them in the order they joined the band!"

He looked at her dubiously. "And what happens if we get it wrong?"

"Then we're fried."

"Joy."

"But luckily, the Twisted Rancor Trio happens to be one of my favorite heavy metal bands!" She walked over to the holoprojectors, reading their labels and confidently switching them on. "Let's see, Elinda joined first, then Ujaa, then his brother, then him and him and...there!" The forcefield deactivated and the box sprung open, revealing a very awesome set of green-and-black Echani armor.

"Oh, I got _dibs_ on this!" Xana held up the suit for Talon to see. It was like a more colorful and heavily armored version of her black jumpsuit. "Well what are you waiting for! Get out and guard the door so I can try this on!" He was gently shoved out of the room and heard a lock click behind him.

Minutes later, Xana came out looking definitely hardcore in the armor and a verpine headband they'd salvaged somewhere. She tossed him her old armor and gestured to the apartment behind her. "Go put that on, it's better than a combat suit and to be honest yours looks like crap." Talon chuckled at her bluntness and moved to obey.

After getting their armor in order, they approached the last apartment in the building. When Xana had to try twice to unlock the blasted thing, Talon became suspicious and interrupted, "Xana, let's just go. I think somebody might live here." Xana, frustrated from having her security slicing skills challenged, growled, "Talon, it's an _abandoned _apartment building. Except for Vulkars, nobody fragging lives here!"

The door slid open and a surprised Twi'lek screamed, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING BREAKING INTO MY HOUSE!"

"Told you so."

Xana ignored Talon and proceeded to smooth-talk them out of their rather awkward predicament. She even managed to turn the tables on the Twi'lek and get him to admit he was a reformed gang member that had helped bring notorious criminals to justice but was now hiding from the Exchange's bounty hunters as a result. The only way he could finally be free, he lamented, was if he could fake his own death, but he'd need a permacrete detonator to do that.

"That's all? I got one right here, just take it." Xana produced the small grey device from her bag and handed it over amidst shocked stares from the two guys. "What?"

Talon shouted, "Where'd you get your hands on a permacrete detonator? That stuff's massive firepower and I'm pretty sure it's illegal in some systems!"

"Remember that clothes store we went to a few days ago?"

"Yeah?"

"Did you not _see_ the huge illuminated sign that said 'Bubba's Permacrete Detonator and Discount Clothes Emporium'? They were having a sale so I couldn't resist getting one!"

* * *

Xana and Talon shuffled out into the cool night air, sweaty, disheveled, and laughing for all they were worth. Talon stopped suddenly and pondered, "You know, Xana, I can't believe a whole district's worth of Black Vulkars just got a can of kickbutt handed to them by two insomniac teenagers!"

"Guess again, kid. Looks like you made the very grave mistake of messing with us, and as you can probably guess, you're not going to live to tell the tale.", a sinister voice hissed from the shadows. Xana and Talon whipped out their weapons just as a half dozen Vulkars strode into the dim streetlights on either side of them.

Both teens' breath hitched in their throats and on instinct, Xana dug her hands discreetly into hers and Talon's bags and maneuvered a grenade into each palm. Pulling the pins, she fixed her eyes on the leader and sneered, "Took the words right out of my mouth."

Time froze for a moment as the deadly spheres plunged into the middle of each group with a resounding _clunk_. The battle was on.

Explosions rocked the narrow street and Xana was pleased to find one of the groups mired in glowing cryoban sludge. Talon raised his blasters, the bolts finding the first two targets with master accuracy. Xana went for another two wielding blasters, the strong mesh of her Echani armor absorbing most of the plasma energy as she swiped the blade across both with a powerful twirl. She wrenched the stun-stick out of one's hand and threw it, catching another Vulkar across the cheek.

The last one was no match for Talon. They turned their attention to the other half of the backup squad, who had now managed to free themselves from the mess of cryoban. Realizing he had lost more than half his men in a matter of minutes, the Twi'lek leader turned a pale shade of green before raising his vibroblade in a challenge. Two frag grenades were pitched at Xana and Talon and they were forced to dive out of the way.

Once the smoke cleared they found themselves separated and surrounded three-to-one, the Vulkars having charged into their midst. Xana grit her teeth, striking out randomly and fiercely as she heard the sharp _pew _of blaster bolts across the walkway. There was no doubt in her mind Talon could take on three thugs at a time, and so she focused on her own survival. A shock stick grazed her arm and she jumped back at the pain, striking out at the offending Vulkar and swiveling around just in time to block another's quarterstaff.

Out of the corner of her eye she saw the glint of a vibroblade coming at her, so she dodged aside, using the momentum to knock the quarterstaff-wielder onto the ground, and spun, catching the charging sentient across the middle out of sheer luck.

The dingy street fell silent, the only audible sound coming from passing speeders and sparking conduits.

"_Now_ that makes it a district's worth", Xana quipped. A smile crossed her face and the two friends savored victory for a few sweet moments. "Hey, you wanna take that walk I mentioned now, you know, before the whole salvaging discussion came up? We look hardcore enough to prevent further...incidents...now, I bet."

Talon dragged his sleeve across his forehead and looked up at Xana, smirking broadly. "Yeah, I'd like that. I think I saw a cantina down this way, not far from here. Maybe we could stop and get something to drink at least", Xana raised her eyebrows at this and he was hasty to add, "_Soft drinks_, I mean. Sheesh, you've been a smuggler way too long."

Xana laughed and ambled over to his side. "Sounds good. But only if we get to walk there in super cool slo-mo. Cause the lower city's gotta know how freakin awesome we are." She punched his arm playfully as they sauntered down the street.

* * *

(_Scene changes to cantina entrance. Jazz music plays softly in the background and is barely heard over the din. The door slides open – slowly – to reveal two figures moving in a blur. The girl's black makeup still stands out from behind a verpine headband and most of her hair has come out of her ponytail, laying in shaggy black curtains over her ears. The boy casually grips the handles of two very modified blasters, and the girl holds a filthy vibroblade a few inches from the floor in an aloof manner._)

The music stopped as Xana and Talon entered the bulding and for a frightening moment they thought all eyes were fixed on them. But they soon realized their error as the famous bounty hunter Calo Nord quickly started – and ended – a firefight mere feet from them in a blinding display of marksman awesomeness. They gulped and remained rooted to the spot; they'd asked around enough in the upper city to know that Calo Nord was definitely not a guy you wanted to get the attention of.

Their relief spiked back up to sheer terror again as he swaggered in their direction. Talon shuffled away to allow him room to exit but just as he passed them, he stopped to look Xana in the eye and she, in an unexpected burst of bravery, leveled her gaze at him. Flickers of surprise and droll amusement seemed to cross his stony face and he took in her scruffy, battle stained appearance. Finally he gave a slight nod to her and continued on his way.

Both teens simultaneously let out a breath they had been holding and Xana whisper-cheered, "That. Was. Awesome. I just stared down Calo Fragging Nord, aw yeahhh I rock!" She shot double peace signs at Talon, who laughed and confidently promenaded around the cantina with her for awhile before taking a seat at a booth. She slid in across from him and they both ordered sodas from a nearby serving droid.

No sooner had they settled in than they heard a young lady's cry ring across the cantina."I thought I told you to leave me alone, so gimme some space, Bug-eye!" Xana and Talon swiveled around in their seats to see a young blue Twi'lek ferociously staring down two adult male Rodians in Vulkar uniforms. Talon whispered hurriedly, "You think we ought to help her?"

"We probably should. It's not like anyone else is going to, and I've got another good firefight or two left in me." Xana fixed her face in a hard, threatening glare as she drew her vibroblade and advanced toward the three sentients, Talon close behind her. Before they even got within five meters, however, the coolly confident Twi'lek called a Wookiee to her side and the Rodians were sent running.

She turned to Xana and Talon and, noticing that their weapons were drawn, perked up in surprise a bit. Usually nobody down here, much less human teenagers armed to the teeth, gave a poodoo about what happened to people like her so naturally she was curious about the two. "Hey, I'm Mission, and this is my best friend Zaalbar. You know, I don't think I've ever seen you here before and I know pretty much everyone in the Lower City."

Xana retracted her vibroblade and settled into a more cordial stance. "Xana Dakari – insomniac combatant extraordinaire. And this guy right here is my buddy Talon. Oh, and I know this is totally unrelated and random but the way you scared away those Black Vulkars was so epic!"

Mission cracked a smile and replied, "Yeah, I'm pretty lucky to have Big Z around. The lower city's a rough place for someone like me, you know?"

"If you don't mind me asking, how do a Twi'lek and Wookiee end up as best friends anyway?"

They spent the next hour or so with Mission and Zaalbar, talking about the lower city in general, the swoop gangs, and what life was like living on the lower city streets. The four even felt inclined to share a little of their backgrounds before they all sleepily parted ways.

* * *

(Outside the apartment)

"Best midnight looting spree ever?" Xana asked cheerily.

Talon laughed. "Best midnight looting spree ever."

They hit the door release button to come face to face with a very angry Carth. He roared, "_Where have you two _been _ all night? Do you realize you could have been captured by the Sith or even killed and I would never have known? Must I remind you that we all need each other's skills and cooperation to survive this? But no..._"

Xana cut him off mid-sentence. "Relax, Carth, we were just looting in the abandoned lower city apartments. Sure, we had to knock off a few Vulkars, but it's not like we weren't perfectly safe!"

Carth facepalmed.

She burst out obliviously, "Ooh and speaking of which, check out all these grenades and mines we found just laying around!" A plethora of explosives was then dumped out onto the table, followed by the sound of a harder facepalm.

"Anything _else_ you want to tell me?"

"Yep, I'm pretty sure when we walked into that dive tonight I stared down Calo Nord and gained his respect somehow...still figuring _that_ one out..."

Carth facepalmed again. He groaned, "I don't even want to knowwhat the blazes you're talking about. Talon, what do _you_ have to say about this?"

"I actually learned a very valuable lesson tonight, sir."

"Oh really, and what would that be?", Carth asked brightly. There was no way his logistical and level-headed protégé would act this irresponsible without good reason.

"When you can't sleep, looting randomly is the most fun and cost-effective course of action to take."

At this point, Carth simply resorted to smacking his forehead repeatedly as Xana and Talon occupied their respective sleeping areas and napped the morning away.

(Two weeks later)

Bastila began to lecture, "Now that I am in charge of this mission, hopefully things will go according to...for the love of the Force, man, what is the matter with your head?" Carth Onasi attempted to cover the lovely hand-shaped bruise right in the middle of his forehead with a pilot's cap as he sheepishly replied, "Erm...result of the pod crash, ma'am?"

"Then why does it look uncannily similar to the shape of a hand -"

"Uh, ma'am, the mission?"

"Right...as I was saying..." As Bastila continued to mercilessly berate the search team, Carth turned to the side and muttered, "Kriffing teenagers."

"What was that you said, Carth?"

"Nothing ma'am, nothing at all."

* * *

**I couldn't resist putting that special ending in there. Carth really is so uptight sometimes, I figured at some point a hilariously reckless and laid-back teenage Revan would elicit a facepalm - or 20- from him. Reviews and constructive criticism are always welcome! Thanks to Kotorfangirl for writing the very first review for this story!  
**

**~rockforthecross74  
**


	4. Always got your back

**Author's Note: Sorry for the long wait for the update; I barely have time to read the fanfics I subscribed to now, much less write, cause **_**mi clases de universidad es a grande pain en la nalga, jaja. **_**BUT to make it up to you guys I wrote a wonderful 12 page addition with lots of action and appropriate amounts of fluff. From now on I'll try to have the next chapter halfway done when I post. And thank you for reading this far, even if you don't review I really appreciate it. I was seriously blown away when I checked my stats page for this and saw the hits had nearly tripled. **

**Anyway, has anyone ever noticed that in KOTOR, the rakghoul disease is supposed to be uncurable yet the PC can just inject an ordinary antidote pack and be on their merry way? Well, that paradox irks me so here's a drama and Xana/Talon bonding filled chapter to fix that.**

Chapter 4

Soundtrack:

Exploring Undercity- To Know that You're Alive by Kutless, Meridian by August Burns Red

Safe at Last – We Are Broken by Paramore

Bonfires lit up the perpetual night like so many fireflies, the residents of the local village congregating around them to eat, cook, or simply talk.

That was the first thing Xana noticed as she stepped off the elevator into the undercity. The next would probably be the two beggars currently shaking her and her companions down for credits. _Quaint little welcoming committee you've got here_. Sympathy got the best of her, though, and before they even finished pleading their case she dug into her pocket and tossed a twenty credit chip into their awaiting hands.

Xana, Talon, and Carth wandered the south side of the village for a while, simply taking in the drastic contrast of life and existence here. Whole families lived in shelters patched together from rags, vehicle parts, and whatever salvage they could find. A person's entire stash of worldly possessions was barely enough to halfway fill the cracked ceramic jars or battered plasteel containers a few households had. And yet, some people still clustered around, enjoying their meager meals and the company of others. They smiled, they laughed, they loved. It was a sobering lesson in contentment for all three travelers.

As she went to approach the village leader, Xana was hailed by a sagely old man perched outside of his tent. He took one look at her and began railing about destiny, hope, and fulfilled prophecies. Xana just stood there awkwardly, not knowing quite how to respond. Carth whispered, "Be careful, this one might be crazy enough to be dangerous," fingering the holsters of his blaster pistols as he did so. Xana shot him a glare and decided to empathize with the poor man – it couldn't have been easy to be this senile in such a harsh environment and he probably had to put up with many an unkind individual as it was. "Sorry sir, I don't understand. What do you mean by calling me 'the herald of prophecy'?"

"A question. You are bewildered, perplexed…" The rest of his chatter droned into the back of Xana's consciousness as she ranted inwardly. _Oh frag it, the guy's talking in riddles now…_ She looked to the sky in exasperation. _WHY? I decide to show compassion for a senile misfit for once and now I have to sit through his monologue for who knows how long? WHY ME!_ Xana was about to hurriedly excuse herself when the man began lamenting and her conscience rooted her to the spot.

"My apprentice, Malya, has been missing for some weeks and I fear she has joined the ranks of those who sacrificed themselves for our cause. Please, upworlder, will you help an old man? I must know what has become of her, and what she has found." The pleading expression in his eyes and intermingled grief and hope in his tone drove straight into Xana's heart. She couldn't help but agree. He settled back in his tent, appearing content and grateful, and just that reaction in itself warmed Xana from the inside, shielding her from her own doubts and the skepticism practically rolling off of her companions.

The village leader, Gendar, lived only a hut away from his dwelling and was only too happy to give the newcomers information after seeing Xana's understanding attitude towards the elderly man. He also offered the option of shelter, since it was already nearing night and it would be easier for the trio to simply stay the night in the village and set out the next morning. Carth thanked him and Xana came forward, holding out fifty credits to the man as payment. From the looks of things, housing was already scarce and overcrowded without their intrusion.

The man looked at the chips like they were gold bricks and beamed at Xana before cheerily escorting them to a decrepit two room building directly facing the gate. Immediately, Carth and Talon moved to settle down in the low, cramped space. They weren't still for half a minute before Xana shouldered her pack again and declared, "Well, waiting here really sucks. Let's go out and explore the undercity a bit."

"No."

"PLEASE?", she whined.

"No. It's getting close to night."

"Uh, Carth? It's always dark down here."

"Okay fine, I just don't want to go. Look, I'm tired because we just fought our way through several hordes of Black Vulkars. Though I can't for the life of me imagine why they'd come after us so darn persistently." Talon and Xana shared a nervous glance.

Xana relented for about five minutes before pestering him to go again. Finally, with all the pent-up frustration of a parent having to pacify a whiny child, he agreed to head out. They emerged from the dwelling and stopped to buy sketchy looking but still usable medpacs and antidote kits from a creepy looking vendor.

As they climbed the uncannily shadowy and deserted slope leading towards the gate, Xana began to yearn for the civility and warmth of the nearby village. A chill ran down her spine as she spied a young woman just a few years older than herself clinging to the gate and screaming for all she was worth. It appeared as if the guard was trying to reason with her.

Xana took off running at full speed toward the scene, stopping as she caught sight of a man on the other side being chased down by a rakghoul. The guard was pleading, "We have to close the gate – he won't make it in time." The anguish was palpable in the woman's reply as she shouted, "He _will_ make it- RUN HENDAR!" After a few more moments it was clear the woman's pleas were falling on deaf ears, and she spun on her heel desperately, begging Xana, Talon, and Carth to go save her husband.

Without hesitation, Xana commanded, "Open the gate- I'll go rescue him."

The guard looked at Xana with eyes full of admiration – and a hint of skepticism. She met the gaze with disdain. _Right- the grown man charged with guarding the fragging gate is going to let the teenage girl go out and fight the rakghoul. Super manly. _The gate opened and Xana sprinted through, Carth and Talon barely managing to slip out behind her in the guard's rush to close it. What confronted them made Xana's stomach turn.

It was grayish-white and bipedal, but ran hunched over on all fours, sinewy muscle leading down to claws larger than its' head. Tiny black and red eyes sat atop a jaw twice the size of a human being's, which – to all of their great dismay – was full of razor sharp teeth. _Aw man, we are so screwed._

Hendar, now exhausted, collapsed at the very edge of the gate, desperately holding his wife's hands through the metal mesh. Xana saw this and gripped her sword tight in preparation for her attack. _Maybe that crash did deal out some brain damage after all, cause I'm pretty sure I've gotta be mental to be doing this right now._

Xana let out a furious war-cry and charged the massive monster head on, getting a good slash in across its' back. When it became distracted from chasing Hendar and turned on her, however, she literally had to will strength into her arms again as she went numb from sheer terror. Giant claws swiped at her and she haphazardly blocked them with her sword. Over and over again the monster struck out, ignoring the plasma bolts hitting its' thick hide with military accuracy.

Both claws were now pressed up against the side of her sword and the monster snapped at her menacingly. Its' head inched closer and closer to her hand and soon it began tearing at the sleeve of her red flight jacket. Finally, a plasma bolt hit it square between the eyes and both combatants slumped to the ground, Xana effectively crushed beneath the rakghoul as it fell.

Carth rushed to haul the thing off of her while Talon took a hold of her arms and dragged her away from the scene a few meters. The two nearly smothered Xana in their attempts to get her coherent and ask if she was alright. Finally Xana moaned and batted off her two overprotective companions, playfully berating them for acting like little old ladies _–or worse, that pansy gate guard – _over a light skirmish. She slowly dragged herself off the ground and shuffled inside the compound again, humbly accepting the couple's frenzied thanks.

"If there were anything I owned but the clothes on my back, I'd give them to you," said Hendar as he hugged his wife, who replied, "But you've still got me, and that's all I'll ever need." Xana tried to refrain from wincing at the sheer sappiness. But of course, as teenage girls were wont to do, she couldn't help but wonder if she'd one day know that kind of true, deep-running love…_gah__-that hurts!_

A harsh stinging on her forearm brought her out of amorous-teenage-girl mode and her focus settled on a slight rip in the sleeve of her jacket that had gone unnoticed till now. _Oh no no no no NO…. _

Panic overtook her and she all but sprinted back to the guest quarters. Once inside, she drew the curtain separating the sleeping area from the main room and pushed her right sleeve up, frantically inspecting her arm. There it was – clear as day even in the almost pitch black interior – the small, angry red incision that marked her first, and most likely last, rakghoul fight.

* * *

That night, Xana sat in the entryway of their lodgings and halfheartedly stirred a pot of instant noodles over a scanty fire, trying to convince herself that she would feel infinitely better as soon as she slammed some food down. Her vision swam yet again and as she swiftly brought a clammy hand to her burning forehead, she tried to pin her symptoms on anything – fatigue, aftereffects of the crash, _hunger_ was the latest excuse – but the still-painful bite mark on her left forearm.

She swayed dangerously, nearly tumbling onto the boiling pot. _Wow, I really hope nobody saw that._ It took nearly all her willpower to keep up her facade of wellbeing so as not to scare Talon, Carth, or the villagers while she figured this mess out.

The minor injury sent off an unusually large wave of pain throughout her arm and she gave up any semblance of denial. _Frag it! I'm tired of trying to be strong for everyone else's sake! I just want to know this cut isn't what I think it is and I want to know I'm going to live to see the next morning! _Tears stung at her eyes but she willed them away, resolving that if this really were her final few hours, she wouldn't go down bawling like a baby.

One person in the camp did notice her, however. Talon had swiveled around from where he and Carth were seated around a burn barrel, just in time to watch Xana nearly fall over into her dinner, steady herself while gripping her forehead, then clutch her right wrist in apparent misery. Quietly he got up and walked over to where she was seated in the opening of the tent.

"Hey, you ok?"

Xana fought to keep the emotion and finality out of her voice. "Yeah, I'm fine. Why?"

"I just saw your little episode there. Look, I'm no medical expert, but I'm pretty sure whatever just happened to you doesn't qualify as okay."

_Dang it, I hate damsel in distress situations. Relax, Xana, just play it off and he'll leave. _"Naw, it's probably just from when I smacked my head."

Talon stared accusingly at her and his voice went hard. "Xana, that was _four days ago_. You haven't shown any signs of being affected by the crash at all since then. Something's wrong and it's got nothing to do with your head."

Xana didn't respond, just angled her face away from him and continued to stir the soup. In the process, she caught sight of her own reflection in a piece of metal being used to hold up the awning. She was shockingly pale and her irises were now a deep shade of crimson. There was no way she could hold the tears back now...here was the blasted _proof_ that she really did only have a few hours left to live. As Xana broke down in silent, erratic sobs, she barely registered the weight of Talon's hand resting lightly on her shoulder blade in a friendly, comforting gesture.

"Xana...are you _crying? _Hey, what's wrong?." He reached out with his other hand to try and grip her other shoulder so she'd look at him, but she shrugged him away. _Well, that 'no one will see me cry' junk went down the 'fresher pretty fast._

"Talon. Just leave." He didn't. Instead, he scooted around so he was sitting directly in front of her and tried to stoop down and make eye contact. Things had to be a special kind of awful if _Xana_ cracked. Whatever it was, he just had to know if only for her sake.

"Just tell me. Please?" He whispered the question so gently and silently that for a moment both of them doubted anything was said at all. Xana was slowly breaking on the inside, however. This boy right in front of her seemed to genuinely care about her well-being, at least a little, and seeing as this really was the end of the line- she just didn't want to be alone when she went down.

"Talon, I'm dying." The words were spoken almost carelessly and withsuch matter-of-fact-ness, that Talon refused to believe she was telling the truth at first.

"No... Xana, you're probably just making a big deal out of nothing. Whatever you got, I dunno, maybe it is from the crash after all, or maybe you pushed yourself too hard in the dueling ring, or...or maybe you got sick off of the cantina food-"

"Talon." The soft whimper cut through his pondering like a vibrodagger through butter. "Look into my eyes and tell me I'm not dying."

"Okay Xana, come on, you're being melodramatic about this..."

"Talon. Look. Into. My Fragging. Eyes."

Talon hesitantly brought his gaze up to make eye contact with her and was confronted with irises so red they would've made a laigrek blush. And the pallor on her face...yep, this was terminal, all right. "Wow, you really weren't kidding."

Xana smiled wryly. "And if that's not enough to convince you..." She folded back her sleeve slowly, revealing the bite mark on her inner arm, just below the elbow. It was already a painful-looking shade of dark red and the inflammation was spreading outwards, almost to her wrist by now. Talon gave a small hissing sound, sucking in a deep breath through clenched teeth as a show of sympathy. Xana lowered her eyes and quickly covered her arm before any of the villagers could see.

Talon, just wanting the light, fun Xana back if only for a few moments, tried to get her mind off of her impending doom. "Hey, I think your dinner is ready. Tell you what, why don't you eat first and then I'll help figure something out afterwards. You'll feel a lot better that way."

Xana nodded, not bothering to supply a sarcastic remark about her thinking the very same thing, as she poured the soup into a brown earthenware bowl. As soon as the fragrant steam hit her now-sensitive nose, her stomach roiled and she thrust the bowl into Talon's hands before scrambling for the makeshift bed in the corner.

Talon gingerly set the bowl on the ground before rushing over to her. Xana lay on her side, face buried in the mat while she clutched the pillow to her stomach. Unsure of what to do, Talon simply patted her arm comfortingly. He really wished he had paid more attention during basic med training.

When her eyes popped open and her hazy vision settled on him, she looked nothing like the tough, snarky seventeen year old spacer she was, but rather a scared, sick little girl. It unsettled him to no end.

Xana whispered, or rather croaked, "Tal...ugh, I feel awful. I think I'm gonna spew. Frag it, I hate when that happens."

Talon wanted to give his ailing friend a reassuring hug, but he didn't know how wise that decision would be, concerning her apparently being on the verge of 'being ill'. So instead he spoke to her soothingly, trying to keep her mind occupied – a trick his own mother had used back when he got sick as a child. "Hey now, you're going to be just fine. I'm going to stay here and talk to you till you feel better, okay? It's never as bad when you've got something to keep your mind occupied."

She nodded weakly.

"So what do you want to talk about?"

"Tell me about you...where'd you grow up?"

Pain clouded his own features and he tried to keep the lament out of his voice as much as possible. "Telos."

"Oh. I'm sorry."

He tried to appear bright and happy for her sake, though he doubted she could see the feeble attempt in the near darkness. "No, it's fine. Do you want to know how I ended up serving with Carth?"

Another weak nod. "Well, I'm kinda his protégé, for a few important reasons. After Telos was bombed, I was wandering the wreckage of my suburb looking for my parents. It just so happens he was doing the same, only searching for his son. I was just a scrawny little kid, barely thirteen, and so when I recognized the big 'decorated war hero Carth Onasi' and stopped to ask if he'd seen my mom and dad...I guess I reminded him too much of his son that he took me in, tried to help me find them. We searched together for so long, only to find out that his kid was unaccounted for and...I was orphaned."

A soft hand slowly protruded from under the pillow and grasped his wrist. He looked into her eyes and she whispered, "don't have to keep talking...if it hurts..."

He shook his head and continued, watching the hand fall and resume its' original grasp on the pillow. "Anyway, after that I guess we just stuck together for a while, so I could figure out where I wanted to go from there. It was a pretty lucky coincidence; he was a parent that wanted his kid back and I was a kid who just lost his parents. I guess he sympathized with me, cause before I knew it I was his personal guest. No refugee camps...it was straight to Coruscant for me. Deluxe quarters and all. We became like each other's surrogate father and son but eventually I got tired of sitting around, struck out on my own, drifted a while, made some mistakes, then came back to join the Republic army. My good buddy Carth put in a good word for me and soon I was serving under his fleet and promoted to Lieutenant-"

Talon was cut off by a series of muffled whimpers emanating from Xana, who had now buried her face into the pillow and began to fidget jerkily. Her hands clenched and unclenched the blanket in a steady motion. Finally, with a strangled cry she kicked away the pillow and blanket, crawling over to where they had piled their equipment.

"Xana, what are you doing? Come on, get back in bed, you really need to rest!"

Panting and struggling heavily from weakness, Xana managed to clip her armor into place over her jumpsuit. As she holstered her vibroblade with shaking hands, she turned to Talon and snapped, "Dude! I can't take this anymore!"

Xana hesitated a moment, breathed a deep sigh, and continued, "When we went to that clinic the first day we were here, the doctor said that the Sith patrols down here had a cure for the rakghoul disease. I'm going out to look for it."

"You can't fight off Sith and rakghouls in your condition! That's practically suicide!"

"What choice do I _have_, Talon? And who said I have to fight anyway? I can use my stealth field generator and scavenge off of downed patrols. And besides, I'm not going to just sit here and turn into one of those _things_, right in the middle of the village!"

"You've got a point there. Okay, just let me get Carth and we'll all suit up and head out."

"No! I don't expect you to come, and to be honest I really don't want you to. I mean, what if we were too late and I turned right in front of you? I can't take any chance of killing you two by accident – after all, you're the last hope for the _Republic's _last hope, and I'm just an upstart scout wannabe."

"You are way more than just an upstart scout wannabe, Xana. In case you haven't noticed, you've saved my butt I don't know how many times since we landed, and without all of your skills I doubt we could have even made it this far. At least let us help you-"

"Fine. But only you, not Carth. In case you haven't noticed, the guy doesn't trust anyone and I'm afraid he might overreact if he found out I'm infected. No more arguments. Every moment I'm spending here is another that I _could_ be using to look for that cure, now let's move out."

* * *

The two teenagers deftly exited the building and slipped out of the village without anyone noticing. For the first time, Xana finally got a good look at the undercity's depths. Endless miles of grey, barren land faded off into darkness that was only punctuated by the dimly lit bases of Taris' skyscrapers and distant echoing howls. If that wasn't creepy enough, the ground was devoid of any living organism and lightly shrouded in a layer of white mist. _Since when did my life begin to heavily resemble a horror flick again?_

They wasted no time; Xana immediately started sprinting to the left, immediately regretting having done so because of the aching in her joints. She winced with each step but kept going, hearing Talon's heavy footfalls in tandem behind her.

Suddenly another group of people came into view as they darted around another skyscraper base. There were five of them, and they all carried massive firepower. They looked like salvagers, most likely swoop gang muscle. Talon immediately stepped in front of Xana, hands resting on his blaster pistols. One of the men noticed them and brandished a nasty looking blaster rifle, yelping, "Stay right there – I'm not afraid to use this if I have to!"

Another, obviously the leader, shoved down the other man's rifle and snapped, "Easy kid, we already lost a half dozen men to those rakghouls and I'm not gonna lose any more due to a pointless firefight." A light scuffling sounded from behind some nearby columns and before any of them could even blink, a whole pack of rakghouls sprinted out and attacked.

The pack of salvagers immediately opened fire on the creatures; one man was taken down in a matter of seconds and quickly replaced by Xana, who dove into the heart of the fray. Talon quickly followed, sniping the creatures as fast as they appeared. Xana simply slashed right and left in a frenzy of critical strikes. She figured, hey, she was already infected so why bother blocking? One short yet arduous battle later, the leader proclaimed that the salvage mission was officially not worth the profit anymore.

Xana smirked, "Combat getting a little too intense down here for ya? Freakin' pansies."

The man turned around and growled, "Either you're really brave or really stupid, to try and insult a Mandalorian like that."

"Mandalorian? Oh right, I remember you. You're that merc I saw outside the lower city cantina a couple days back! Canderous Ordo. Kinda weird how we both ended up here at the same time."

"Yeah, whatever. Sorry I can't stick around to chat, but I'm heading to the surface before any more of my men get killed. I suggest you do the same. You fight well, kid, but believe me, you're not gonna last long down here."

Without another word, the group marched on and Xana and Talon resumed their light jog, ever-wary for more threats. They soon came upon a large clearing that contained a few comatose figures – and about a dozen rakghouls. The two teenagers hunkered down against a pillar, out of sight as they formulated an attack plan. Xana pointed to a divider that sectioned off a small portion of the clearing.

"Look at that. If we take down the three rakghouls already there, then channel the rest through the holes in that fence, then they can't overwhelm us with numbers and we can take them one by one."

"Worth a shot."

Creeping over to the entrance of the small area, Talon attached a silencer to his trusty blaster rifle and dispatched the three rakghouls in rapid succession. They rushed to take their new defensive position, each hiding behind a divider as they pulled out the grenades. Talon had a myriad of explosives with him, ranging from plasma to sonic to cryoban, but Xana selected plain frag grenades. As she chucked a handful straight into the pack of rakghouls and waited for the explosion, she shrugged, "Classic yet effective."

Surely enough, a couple targets dropped, but they now had the rest of the agitated pack stampeding directly at them. Xana waited, biting her lip in adrenaline-numbed fear as Talon managed to bring down a few more on their way over. "Here they come!", he screamed.

Obviously Xana had underestimated the brute force of the little buggers. They forced their way past Xana and Talon's defenses much faster than they could be taken out. As a result the two teens found themselves back to back, chucking grenades, parrying, and firing blaster bolts as fast as humanly possible, being forced to take on two or even three at a time. They didn't operate as two separate combatants but as an unstoppable team, working as one against insane odds.

At last the sounds of combat ceased, and they made their way to the center of the clearing. Xana was beginning to tremble with fatigue, and the sight of the lifeless figures lying prone on the ground threatened to bring about another bout of nausea. She slumped against the nearest divider, leaving Talon to search the vicinity for the cure. Being terminally ill was as good an excuse as any, especially considering she probably wouldn't have been able to stand helping even if she was well. Scavenging was a necessity in wartime, true, but she wasn't a soldier. Talon was.

He trudged back to her, a datapad and some medpacs in hand. "Nothing.", he remarked wistfully, "but I did find the journal that old coot was looking for, at least."

Xana smiled and hauled herself up. "S'okay. We'll keep looking. There's still the area to the right of the village – I think I saw some Sith patrols off in the distance when we left."

She lurched slightly and Talon steadied her. She was still shaking pretty hard and seemed to be visibly trying not to cry out. Talon was more glad than ever he'd insisted she didn't go alone. "Let's hurry then."

Along the way they happened to run into a wayward Sith patrol, though still very alive. They roughly demanded ID papers from an already visibly exhausted Xana, and it was all Talon could do not to start a firefight as she quickly pacified them and sent them on their way. The captain called back as he retreated, "See if you can't find out what happened to the patrol in the northeast. They haven't checked in in awhile."

As soon as they were out of earshot, Talon whispered, "Why couldn't we have just taken the cure from them?"

"Do you honestly think they would have given it up without a fight? I am not going to let others lose their lives just so I can save my own skin! At least they told us where a downed patrol is."

"Yeah, true. How are you holding up?" They began to walk northeast quickly – running was no longer an option because all Xana could do was shuffle along rapidly at this point.

"I don't think I'm gonna last much longer, to be honest. Everything hurts, I'm really dizzy, and my eyesight's getting darker."

"Just please hang on a little longer, I think I can see another clearing up ahead."

Sure enough, a large niche in between two buildings housed a plethora of moving grey shapes – and the familiar glint of a Sith uniform. However, they were too late to notice the three rakghouls waiting in ambush behind a nearby foundation. They finished them off quickly enough, but now the remaining five in the clearing were alerted to Xana and Talon's presence.

Xana halfheartedly lobbed a frag grenade at them, but it ended up exploding against one of the walls harmlessly. She attempted to lift her vibroblade into a defensive stance, but her arms suddenly seemed as if they were made of lead. A few swipes and one downed rakghoul later, she was completely drained of energy. Her vision began to swim and she barely registered Talon running backwards, firing desperately at the four rakghouls advancing on him.

She made a move to step forward and join the battle, but abruptly her world lilted and she found herself free floating for a few confusing moments before impacting the ground. Meanwhile, Talon had taken cover behind a particularly large piece of rubble and managed to take out two creatures during his retreat. The remaining two stood on either side of him, cornering him and preparing to make a double-charge at him. It was now or never.

The rakghouls sprang. On instinct Talon whipped out his blaster pistols in a dual sniper shot, closing his eyes reflexively as he stiffened his arms and pulled the triggers. Both foes fell unceremoniously to the ground. Talon had barely begun to revel in the aftermath of what was his single most hardcore display of marksmanship, when he noticed Xana's comatose form on the ground nearby. Without a moment's hesitation he sprinted for her, dragging her into the center of the niche as he desperately tried to elicit a response.

He frantically rummaged through the downed Sith patrol's inventory, finally finding what he was looking for – a set of small hypodermic needles filled with florescent green liquid. Rushing to Xana's side, he tried to shake her awake again, clasping her hand around one of the needles.

"Xana, wake up! I've got it right here – the cure! We did it, now inject this thing quick before you turn!"

She only mumbled in reply.

"Come on, please get up! I really don't know how do this sort of thing, Xana! You gotta take the antidote before it's too late!"

Xana propped herself up against the nearest wall, blinking blearily in response. She managed to get the sleeve of her jumpsuit rolled up and tried to pick up the needle again, only to fumble and drop it as she fell unconscious again. Her breathing suddenly got shallower and sharper, turning into what sounded alarmingly like feral growls. Caution and medical inexperience thrown aside, Talon grabbed the needle and injected the antidote roughly, hoping she hadn't been doomed by his hesitation.

"Xana?" No response. Just quick, hitched breaths that only became shorter and shorter.

A minute passed, then another and another. Talon seated himself next to her, gazing with concern at her ghostly pale, limp form. When she began to convulse slightly and it seemed as if her breathing had nearly ceased altogether, his heart plummeted with sorrow. _What a way to go_, he lamented. _Even after all this I still couldn't save her. This amazing person, my comrade and friend, that few hardly ever knew and nobody will even remember. _"I'm so sorry.", he whispered as he reached for his right pistol and aimed it at her.

Out of nowhere, her now-hazel eyes finally fluttered open and immediately fixed themselves on his tear-filled brown ones. Her full lips slowly formed a gentle smile as she realized that she was cured and he, of all people, had saved her life.

"Put that down, sniper-tard. I'm not gonna jump up and attack you anytime soon.", she laughed, playfully swatting away the blaster pistol.

A huge grin broke out on Talon's face and he crushed Xana in a massive bear hug, shouting, "YOU'RE ALIVE! Stars, you scared me so bad!"

She flailed and kicked as hard as her condition would allow, screaming, "Whoa, whoa! Invading my personal space bubble here!"

He drew back quickly and apologized, "Sorry it's just...I thought you were dead!"

"Well, I think we've established that I'm alive now. Can you get those syringes and help me up so we can go back to the village? I think I'm gonna pass out any second and this isn't exactly an ideal place for a nap."

"Sure. How are you feeling?", Talon asked conversationally as he hauled her to her feet and watched her hobble off in the direction of the village.

"All things considered, not so bad..." He took note of the way she was cradling her right arm and dragging her feet.

"No really, how are you feeling?"

She shot him an annoyed look, which was followed quickly by a cocky smile.

"Like I've been trampled by gundarks on glitterstims."

Talon chuckled at the mental image before soberly asking, "You want some help getting back there? I can carry you if you want."

"No thanks...I'm kinda heavy.", she finished lamely.

"It's alright, really, I've had to carry wounded soldiers during combat more than a few times. And no offense, but you don't look that heavy to me."

"_Talon_. Just please, let me do this one last thing with my dignity intact. I've been such a fragging crybaby tonight, collapsing every five minutes and just being _weak_ in general. My gosh, you nearly got yourself mauled because I had to go and pass out mid-combat-"

"Hold it right there. You've been anything but a crybaby tonight. Most other girls I know would faint at the very sight of one of those things, and any regular sentient being would just give up and die if they were put in your same situation. You fought off whole hordes of creatures that greatly outmatched you in size and strength, all the while being terminally ill! You can just shrug off pain and weakness like it's never there, and go at something with every last spark of energy in your being. I think it's safe to say you are easily _the_ toughest girl I've ever met in my whole life."

Xana looked at him incredulously, another one of her wild, infectious grins coming on. She mumbled, "Thank you. That really means a lot to me."

They continued to amble along in silence, the village gate finally coming into view. As soon as they reached their shelter, Xana made an exhausted, zombie-like beeline towards her bed, dropping her armor and vibroblade on the floor as she went. After she had gratefully snuggled under the covers, eyes drooping heavily in spite of Carth's loud snoring, Talon settled in about a foot away from her sleeping mat.

"Hey Tal?", she asked sleepily.

"Yeah?" He reclined on the floor, propping his head up with his hand.

"You think I can have a crybaby moment now? Just one?"

"I think you've definitely earned it."

"Tonight...was the scariest thing I've ever done in my whole life. I never imagined what a near-death experience would be like, but this was definitely on the more extreme and terrifying end of the spectrum. Heck, I'm still scared half to death and more likely than not I'm gonna be having nightmares about this for a long, long time." She shivered involuntarily and huddled tighter under her blanket.

Talon nodded compassionately, still looking into her bleary eyes. He noticed that spots of crimson still remained in her irises. They'd likely never be the same again.

"I know this is gonna sound really lame and clichéd but...are you gonna be here when I wake up?"

"You can bet on it." He dragged his field pack over, intending to use it as a makeshift pillow.

"Talon, I meant the hut in general, not on the floor next to me."

"Considering the Outcasts could only spare one sleeping mat and you're occupying it right now, that just means I'd have to find another spot on the floor to sleep on. And I already got this one so very nice and warm!", he whined playfully.

Xana rolled her eyes and turned onto her stomach, burying her arms under the pillow. "Whatever. I guess you can stay here. Just make sure nothing wakes me up, okay? Especially not rakghouls."

"Deal.", he replied.

She was already fast asleep.

* * *

**Hope you liked that ending. I wanted to get a bit of the mystery surrounding Talon's past out of the way, and get his and Xana's friendship rolling, so I figured this scenario would work best for that. Comments? Criticism? Then click that lil blue button down there!  
**

0299637D-F161-1047-49A5-4BD5909AE8D0

1.03.01


	5. No plan B

Chapter 5

Soundtrack:

Infiltrating Davik's Estate – No Plan B by Manafest (cued in by *)

Sith attack begins/Jacking the Ebon Hawk – Alive by Superchick (cued in by **)

**Can't post any lyrics without risking my account getting suspended. A version with lyrics is available at **[dot] (sorry, won't let me post actual links -.-)

* * *

"That's actually a pretty good plan Canderous. Especially the parts where it's infuriatingly vague and written down in its' entirety on that napkin right there." Xana slouched against the wall, lazily resting her hand on her hip as she let the floodgates of sarcasm loose.

On a nearby counter a napkin, covered in haphazard black scribbles, was visible under the phosphorescent glow of the cantina lights. It read simply, "Objective one: Get di'kuts to pick up droid (and possibly my dry cleaning as well) and infiltrate Sith base." Xana sent the Mandalorian a well-practiced deathglare and he only shrugged deliberately in response. "Objective two: Pass off the emo girl as new bounty hunter prodigy." Another glare, but still he was unfazed. "Objective three: Steal Ebon Hawk and get the kriff off this planet."

Canderous just continued to sip his drink, looking almost stoic in the way he was ignoring her. Xana's eye twitched with pent up frustration.

"What the crap, man? I just risked my neck and fought a Sith apprentice – granted, a really lame Sith apprentice that didn't even have his lightsaber, but still! – for some longshot ticket off this rock and I find out you don't even have a real plan!"

Canderous simply fixed an even stare at her and replied in his gravelly baritone, "Look, kid, the plan is to get inside Davik's estate, raze through his security forces, and get to the hangar without being caught. We enter the launch codes, pick up your friends, and blow this rock. Good enough for ya?"

"It _would be_, except we don't even have the deactivation code for his security system. I guess Mission could do something about that – she's pretty good with disabling security and claiming her as a necessary team member is as good an excuse as any not to bring Bastila along..."

She ignored the shrill "Hey!" that resounded from the back of the group and continued pondering aloud. "But seriously, the idea of passing me off as a bounty hunter upstart is stupid. I've got no public record of any background other than five months smuggling experience and winner of the Taris swoop race championships, for crying out loud! It's not like he's going to just welcome a total stranger with open arms and lead me straight to the fragging Ebon Hawk!"

* * *

Davik spread his arms wide in a friendly gesture and boomed, "Ah, welcome! I look forward to working with you, Miss Dakari. Please, allow me to give you a tour of my estate, starting of course with my prized vessel, the Ebon Hawk."

Behind her, Talon and Mission snickered while Canderous shot her a smug grin. She mumbled, "Oh, shut up", before sighing and following Davik down the ornate purple and white hallway.

* * *

Xana's head lolled to the side as she lay flat on her bunk, trying to occupy her restless mind with memorizing intricate details of Davik's guest quarters. Talon and Canderous sat at the only table in the room, the former engrossed in his pazaak deck and the latter deftly modifying his impressive blaster carbine. She heard muffled rummaging in the corner and rightly assumed Mission was sifting through everyone's bags out of pure curiosity.

Another glance at her portable chronometer told her that sunset – and their predetermined cue to strike – was nearly upon them, and she shifted restlessly, tracing the patterns etched into the ceiling. As soon as Davik retreated from his throne room and into his personal quarters, they had half an hour at the most before he would come and retrieve them for dinner. If that wasn't enough to rile Xana's nerves, the whole mission rested squarely on her ability to hack Davik's central information terminal and disable the security system, all the while navigating blindly through an unfamiliar estate.

She hefted herself up into a sitting position and buried her face in her hands, hoping not to be sick from how badly her stomach was turning. The aftereffects of her near-death experience in the undercity were still wreaking havoc with her system and she fought to suppress a groan of misery. The extreme anxiety really wasn't helping. Although Xana was loathe to admit it, her countenance brightened considerably when she sensed a familiar and warm presence seat itself on the bunk next to hers.

"You still feeling up to this?" Talon propped his head up on his fist casually as he gazed at Xana through his thick black fringe.

"Yeah, it's just mission related nervousness messing with me."

"What'd I do now?", Mission piped up from her corner.

Xana chuckled and turned to look at the younger girl. "_Mission: Improbable_ related, not Mission Vao related."

"Ohhhh. M'kay." The Twi'lek turned back to a black metal object she was fumbling around with, which, to Xana's horror-struck realization, was one of Talon's blaster pistols. She bit her lip as Mission pretended to aim at imaginary targets with her fingers on the triggers, anticipating the blow-up that would occur once Talon noticed. Right on cue, he followed Xana's gaze to Mission, sprang up from his bunk and practically flew across the room, snatching his prized weapons from the young girl's hands.

"DON'T _DO_ THAT! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW SENSITIVE THE TRIGGERS OF THESE THINGS ARE? YOU CAN'T JUST PLAY AROUND WITH THEM, THEY'RE NOT KRIFFING TOYS!"

Mission's sapphire eyes immediately started brimming with tears and her lower lip trembled. Before she could say another word or have an emotional breakdown, however, Talon sighed, gently took one of her hands from where she held them mid-pose, and placed the butt of a pistol into it. He maneuvered her arm so it was pointing at the corner of the room and clasped her hand around the blaster, moving her index finger so it rested horizontally next to the trigger.

"_That's _how you hold it, Mish.", he proclaimed with kind firmness, "You gotta be more careful when you're dealing with firearms. I just don't want you getting hurt or nothing."

She sniffled and nodded feebly. "'Kay. Sorry about takin' your blasters. It's just – it's so awesome the way you shoot these things and I can't really imagine how it is to be that good, ya know? I know this is kinda pushin' it, but you don't think I can get some target practice in with those later on...can I?"

Talon smiled and took the pistol back. "No problem. After we get off this rock I'll even teach you how to make sniper shots in active combat, if you want."

Mission swiped her hand across her eyes and beamed at Talon. "I'd like that."

Xana tilted her head to the side and smiled contemplatively – even in the short time she'd known Talon, the compassionate and protective side of that boy was surprising and endearing at the same time. He was just like herself in that aspect, she thought wryly; an emotionally distant loose cannon one moment and a loyal, caring guardian the next. Except his caring nature won out a lot more often than hers, of course. That was probably why Mission adored him even though Xana was the one who considered her to be like a blue, vibroblade-wielding little sister.

The chronometer beeped and Canderous rose promptly, growling, "All right, enough of this sappy garbage. Go time."

Xana cheered adventurously, "Let's do this!", before taking her position behind the doorjamb. Talon and Mission each hid behind a piece of furniture while Canderous activated the door control.

The guest wing's guards didn't even know what hit them; the first was taken down by a quick critical strike and the second by a sniper shot from the back of the room.

"No going back now", commented Xana dryly. "Okay, we can't just run around here randomly opening doors. Canderous, where's the nearest computer terminal?"

"In the dining room just off the main throne chamber. It's filled with guards though. We might not be able to get all of them before they hit the alarm."

"You got a semi-auto blaster. Just spray and pray."

Canderous smirked to himself as the youth dodged into the throne room and made a beeline for the aforementioned terminal. He liked this kid already. The soldier was too sullen and the young one was far too bubbly, but _this_ kid had lots of spunk and a Mandalorian fighting spirit.

In mere seconds Xana had engaged one of the guards, leaving the combat droid for Mission to incapacitate. Xana was determined to protect her from having to fight – and possibly kill - actual living sentients as long as possible. She met the wide, sweeping strikes of the guard's quarterstaff with ease, returning them with quick, unrelenting parries. Talon and Canderous had already taken care of the rest with burst fire.

As the guys caught up, Xana patted Mission's shoulder in proud approval and instructed her to comb out the supply closet nearby. The girl nodded happily and set to slicing the containers' locks.

Meanwhile, Xana inserted her personal datachip into the terminal and brought up the computer interface, furrowing her brow in concentration as the familiar characters rolled down the screen. Her hands worked deftly over the monitor as she scrolled through files, finally locating the staff roster, Davik's personal log, and maps of the estate. Cracking the passwords was only a matter of a few simple keystrokes and well-memorized lines of coding.

"Aha...says here that Davik's former pilot got a bit too 'cozy' and now he's being housed in the compound's prison chambers. Just need to take two lefts and we're there. Mission?" She moved aside to let the Twi'lek take her place in front of the console.

"Okay, the mainframe's already been hacked so this should be simple. Security system deactivating right...about...now!" Mission accented her sentence with a sharp tap of the keyboard.

Xana led her small group across the throne room and into the adjoining hall. They reached the end and opened the nearest chamber, only to find two active torture droids and a comatose form lying prone at the bottom of a force cage.

Xana leapt forward and took out one of the droids with two powerful swipes. The other, however, managed to turn on Xana before her three companions managed to shoot it down. Ignoring the electrical burns with no small amount of difficulty, she slammed the cage release button and motioned hurriedly for Talon to come assess the man. He knelt by the pilot's side and pressed two fingers to the man's jugular vein, searching for a pulse.

"He's gone."

Xana nodded solemnly and moved to embrace a shell-shocked Mission. "Poor guy...must have been awful to go like that." Mission remarked softly.

"All the more reason for us not to get caught.", added Canderous.

Xana regained her composure and asked pointedly, "So what are we gonna do now that the only person who knows the ignition code is dead? I, for one, think that -"

She was cut off by several earsplitting explosions followed by a frightening low rumbling. Without a word, she dashed out of the room and down the hall, bursting into the guest quarters of a Tarisian noble. Ignoring the man's indignant tirades, she strode to the window and craned her neck to check Taris' skyline. Her eyes bugged out as a structure not a hundred meters away was promptly incinerated. Looking up, she noticed a volley of gigantic red plasma beams emanating from an entire fleet of imposing star destroyers. Their design was unmistakably Sith.

"The Sith are bombing the planet.", she whispered in a panic. Suddenly the full impact of this turn of events hit her and she whirled around, screeching, "THE SITH ARE BOMBING THE PLANET!"

Shock registered on all four faces, including the noble's. Xana started to pace back and forth, ranting in terror, "Oh man, this can't be happening...we don't even have the ignition codes so we're stranded...oh my gosh we're gonna die, we're gonna die, we're gonna fragging _die_..."

Suddenly an idea popped into her mind and she halted with a madly hopeful look on her face. "Mish, you know how to hotwire a speeder, right?"

"Heck yah! I done it lots of times!"

"Okay good. We might make it off this rock yet!" She took off at a full run, trusting her confused companions to keep up as she sprinted through the winding corridors.

"You can't just _hotwire_ a smuggling vessel! With the amount of connections, servos, and mods under the control panel of a standard one, it would take hours if not days to get it running!", Talon yelled ahead to Xana.

"Well, you've never seen Mission's mad security skills at their full potential! Besides, I already survived a crash landing and rakghouls, so I don't expect to be taken out by Sith!"

They arrived at the massive, imposing hangar door. It slid open, to their collective dismay, at the same time the one adjoining Davik's quarters did. The vision in purple himself sprinted out into the open with Calo Nord and caught sight of the ragtag team of insurgents. He smirked almost amusedly, sneering, "What's this? Thieves in the hangar come to try and steal my ship?"

Xana bristled at his condescending tone and snapped, "You're dang right we're jacking your ride! Word of advice: Just stand aside and 'go' by way of the explosions – it'll be quicker and _far more merciful_ that way."

Davik's smile faded and he turned to Calo, barking, "Take care of this. And make it quick. If we don't get out of here soon the Sith will bring the whole hangar down around our ears!"

As Calo Nord advanced threateningly, Xana whispered hurriedly to Mission, "Get in the ship and start hotwiring. We'll hold them off." Mission nodded and activated her stealth belt. Shortly after her blue form shimmered into nothingness, Calo and Davik turned their attention to the ship, but Canderous and Talon quickly pinned the former down with burst fire. Xana leapt toward Davik, thrusting out her vibroblade powerfully and voraciously. He met with an equally strong parry and the duel became a stalemate, each combatant locked in a test of strength against the other's blade. Xana began to falter and so she gracefully dodged to the side, twirling around in time to meet Davik's sword as he recovered from his loss in momentum. The two engaged in a heated, intricate spar for a few minutes before Xana finally got a lucky shot in and her opponent fell.

She promptly set to removing his high-quality armor, that is, until Calo straightened up from where he had taken cover. He held a metal sphere above his head triumphantly.

"If I'm going down, I'm taking all of you with me! This thermal detonator will – GAH!"

A random blast from the Sith fleet's ion cannons had struck the roof of the hangar, dislocating a piece of iron scaffolding right above Calo's head.

"Well that was convenient", murmured Xana as she tucked the armor pieces securely under her arm.

"JUST MOVE!", shouted Canderous, motioning to the _Ebon Hawk_. Another blast rocked the hangar, and nobody had to be told twice.

They stormed the ship and ran for the cockpit, finding Mission sitting amongst a mess of wires spilling from the central console. She was fiddling with the ends of a red one and a blue one, muttering, "Come on...just a little tweak, and..."

Suddenly, the ship roared to life and the young girl gave a triumphant grin before moving aside to allow Talon to take the pilot's seat.

Talon plopped down in the plush chair and scrambled to take the controls. The _Hawk_ was bulkier and more difficult to maneuver than the standard fighters he was used to flying, but he managed to throttle the ship and blast out of the hangar just as the roof collapsed.

Xana gingerly sat down in the co-pilot's seat, palm heavily resting against the cockpit's window. She leaned close to the glass and took in huge, gulping breaths as she surveyed the catastrophic scene before them. Entire skyscrapers and walkways were literally disintegrated, the shiny metal panes used to line Taris' structures flying everywhere like confetti. Tarisians, aliens, and Sith alike poured out into the streets or hunkered down in buildings, milling, running...only to find themselves struck down by another plasma beam.

She bowed her head and closed her eyes, shuddering. Her hand closed into a fist as she tried vainly to block out the images and sounds that seemed to be flooding her mind all of a sudden. When she finally dared to look up, she glanced over to see how Talon was faring. He stared ahead in hard concentration, his mouth set into a firm line as he maneuvered almost effortlessly under collapsing structures, over gridlocked skylanes, and past random and deadly cannon fire.

Xana held on tight as he executed a series of intricate rolls, dives, and ascents in order to dodge through a particularly nasty volley of fire. His hands moved over the controls with surprising skill and dexterity, never hesitating or fumbling once.

* * *

Meanwhile, back at the apartment, Carth and Bastila were in the middle of a very important ideological discussion.

"Pazaak is a central tenet of military culture and raises morale amongst the ranks!"

"Regardless, I am not a soldier and thus would not understand such a viewpoint. I greatly prefer meditating, thank you very much."

"Look, if you expect to fit in with your troops once we get out of this mess and back to the Republic fleet, then it would help to learn. That's all I'm saying."

"Jedi do not whittle away their time on such frivolities! Believe me, Carth, with all the pressing concerns of the war at hand, 'fitting in' with my troops is one of the last things on my mind."

"Okay, fine. I didn't want to have to say this, but I haven't seen the outside of this apartment in two days and I'm going mental. I tried teaching Big Z and the droid, but -", he leaned forward and whispered conspiratorially, "to be honest I can't understand a blasted thing either of them are saying. Come on, just to pass the time?"

She looked indecisive for a moment. Carth placed a hand over his heart melodramatically and added, "I swear on my life not to tell the Council."

A hint of a smile played across her face – just a tiny hint, mind you – and she replied reluctantly, "Well, I suppose it couldn't hurt."

No sooner had Carth eagerly commandeered Xana's pazaak deck from atop her bunk, when the distinctive sound of laser cannons echoed from afar and rumblings could be felt from the base of the structure.

"What the-" He rushed over to the window and stared, wide-eyed, when he saw the gorgeous skyline being decimated before his very eyes.

"The Sith – are bombing – the planet!", Bastila choked out as she stood up shakily, clutching her head.

"Are you alright?", asked Carth, rushing over to her side.

"Yes, I am merely feeling the aftershocks of the planet's destruction through the Force. It's very difficult for a Jedi to block out."

"Okay then, if you're sure. C'mon, we've got to get to the roof of this building. This thing could collapse on top of us any second."

He escorted a still-reeling Bastila, surprisingly calm Zaalbar, and worriedly 'dwoo'ing T3 through the mazelike halls of the apartment building, silently praying that the _Ebon Hawk_ would arrive before the building collapsed under their feet.

* * *

"Where _are_ they?", Xana exploded. Another piece of falling debris narrowly missed them as Talon fought to keep the craft in free float. "All these fragging buildings look alike to me, especially when they're exploding!"

"There!" Canderous pointed to a group of frantically waving blurs on the top of a precariously tipped skyscraper.

The _Ebon Hawk_ swooped in and the boarding ramp opened, drifting just close enough for all four to hop onto the craft.

"Just _go_!", ordered Bastila as she motioned her comrades forward. "I'll force jump on board as soon as...whoa-"

The rooftop swayed dangerously and Carth, Zaalbar, and T3 didn't hesitate to make the running jump. Just as Bastila was about to leave the ground, however, the building gave way and she was forced to jump a full foot short of her target. She felt herself arcing through the air, coming almost tangibly close to the ramp, then watching her means of escape drift by downwards in a gray blur.

Terror gripped her for a few moments before she felt a steady weight clasp around her wrist. She looked up quickly and saw Carth hanging on for dear life, anchored down by Zaalbar as they both dangled freely over the edge of the boarding ramp. Wasting no time, she swung backwards, using the momentum to flip and vault safely inside the ship. Once Carth was hauled back inside as well, both collapsed exasperatedly against the metal wall. He only paused for a moment before shouting, "Punch it, Talon! Get us out of here!"

Talon jammed the throttle forward and the ship shot out of the atmosphere in an epic blaze of glory. The crew had barely breathed a collective sigh of relief when the ship shuddered and lurched. Carth sprinted into the cockpit just as Talon scanned the HUD and screamed, "Sith fighters at 6' o clock, closing in fast!"

Carth yanked Talon out of the pilot's seat and took the controls, executing a series of evasive maneuvers that made Talon's escapades back on the planet's surface look like child's play. He barked, "Canderous and Xana, get on the defense turrets. Talon, ready the navicomputer for a jump to hyperspace."

Bastila ran in moments later, calling, "Set course for Dantooine. There's a Jedi enclave there where we can find refuge!"

Xana leaned against the doorframe, face pale, eyes wide, and hair hanging wildly in her face. Forget rakghouls – THIS was the scariest thing she'd ever gone through in her life, and now they expected her to shoot down fighters as well? An devious smirk settled across her face as she turned on her heel and made her way to the turrets. _If it's a fight they want, they don't know what's coming to them. This adventure just keeps getting better and better._

She scrambled up the ladder and donned her headset. Canderous' voice came through immediately.

"Ready kid?"

"You got it!"

Carth cut in, "Hurry up! The _Hawk_ can't take much more damage!"

"Spray and pray?" Xana asked eagerly.

"Spray and pray."

Xana activated the targeting system, lining up the turret with surprisingly quick accuracy. A few blasts and the first fighter was space dust.

"Gotta catch up, kid. I got two already."

"Yeah, yeah. Less talking, more blasting."

She set her scope on two fighters flying in a side-by-side formation and aimed a straight line of burst fire at them, hitting them both. Her HUD was still picking up another swooping in for an attack, so she swiveled her turret sharply upward, firing blindly in a circle. Surprisingly, she hit the fighter head-on.

Carth radioed in again. "That's the last of 'em. Jumping to hyperspace." A distinct whining sound emanated from the bowels of the ship before she felt the craft lurch into the blue glow of hyperspace. Xana slid down the turret ladder, grinning madly with the thrill of victory. She saw Canderous emerge from his turret as well and asked, "How many'd you get?"

"Three. You?"

"Four."

"Heh. You're a good shot. For a Republic." It might have been Xana's wishful thinking, but she could have sworn she saw a hint of a smile pass across the old Mandalorian's face. Without another word, he passed her and shut himself away in the swoop garage.

* * *

In the cockpit, Bastila was fighting to maintain her concentration. The moment the Sith had begun to bomb Taris, she had scrambled to shield young Xana's mind from the Force echoes of the planet's destruction. The teenager was still highly Force sensitive and untrained in mental shields, so the blunt impact of such a monumental disaster at close range would have caused significant damage to her mind. However, it was nearly impossible to protect both Xana's mind and hers, so she had concentrated the shield mostly on Xana via their Force bond.

The aftershocks were wearing down on her, though, and she feared she wouldn't be able to maintain control long enough for the _Hawk_ to get to a safe distance from Taris. Just as the thought crossed her mind, she felt the shield began to waver, and she fought for her hold on it. She scrunched up her face from the sheer difficulty of concentration and sprinted to the solitude of the cargo hold. She didn't make it in time. It fell from her mental grasp and shattered like glass.

* * *

A growing sense of panic and dread welled up within Xana. At first it was a murmur, barely noticeable, but then it spread from her mind outwards and soon she was in a crazed stupor. Emotions – surprise, anger, fear, sadness, denial, calm resignation, regret, desperation- ran across her psyche at a hundred miles an hour. Images flashed through her mind so fast that she couldn't even decipher what they were half the time. She clamped her eyes shut and slumped to the floor to block them out; they just came faster and harder.

Her nerve endings all seemed to be pulsing. The sensation of electricity ebbed and flowed from the deepest recesses of her mind to the tips of her fingers. She lost track of where she was, rising to her feet and stumbling down the nearest corridor as if she were walking on air. By now, Xana had lost all feeling in her hands and feet, fumbling around in utter disorientation.

She gathered up her bags from where they'd been deposited in the hall and dragged them down the hall, locking herself in the nearest bunkroom she could find. Just barely, she managed to numbly change into a black tank top and blue pajama pants and burrow herself into one of the bunks.

Xana jammed her face into the pillow, tossing and turning fervently above the covers, to no avail. Slowly – ever so slowly – the images and emotions slowed down, and the frantic pulsing faded away. Gently, Xana unfurled and closed her eyes in relief. Emotionally and physically exhausted, she fell asleep on the spot.

* * *

**Author's Note: BOOM – explosive chapter! I've been working this scenario over a long time in my head, so naturally I really loved writing this chapter! Also I couldn't help but include that reference to the original SW trilogy. I don't like the ending much though, it's left hanging and I might edit it later. A frail Revan is kinda hard to imagine, but seriously, the PC was too un-emotional to the events in the game. It's like you can go through ten near-death situations in a half hour and not even be bothered. I also wondered how Revan could act like she didn't feel Taris exploding through the Force, while she's gotta deal with shooting down Sith fighters and all. I'm pretty sure it's just cause she's such a tough chick, but I like to think her Force bond shielded her from it. **

**SO sorry it took me almost a month to update, I am such an awful procrastinator. I'll be like 'hey, I'm gonna finish my fanfic chapter tonight' then I get inspiration for a piece of digital art or I start browsing other people's fics or I get a sudden urge to play SW Galaxies. Clock hits 2 AM, I'm out of time for writing, and the process repeats. BUT in my defense, each of these chapters average 10 single space pages, and I self beta at least 3 times. So if there's anyone (besides Kotorfangirl – thanks for reviewing again by the way) who actually reads this, lemme know what you think. Comments or flames, I don't really care just so long as I get reviews.**

**~rockforthecross74**


	6. Nights on the Ebon Hawk

Chapter 6

Nights on the Ebon Hawk

Soundtrack:

Xana's dream – Already Over by Red

Waking up –Stand in the Rain by Superchick

Coming to Terms – Arise by Flyleaf

Disclaimer: Okay, this should be a (triple) songfic but this website's got rules again directly quoting lyrics so you can find the version with lyrics on my LiveJournal account, crossfirex7x.

* * *

_Two figures stood outside a forbidding stone structure, the darkness of night casting their features into obscurity. One was diminutive yet imposing, shrouded in layers of form-fitting black robes and a sweeping cloak, while the other towered over him like an imposing shadow. _

_Xana found herself standing in waving, waist-high grasses, still in her nightclothes. She could almost hear the faint remnants of a sweet, mournful melody in the wind. She wandered forward shyly, hearing the tall figure speak in a soothing baritone._

"_Are you sure we should be doing this? The Council marked this site as off limits for a reason. If we go in, there could be dire consequences. We're crossing a point we won't be able to turn back from."_

_He was met with silence. Xana could almost feel the agitation and rebellion rolling off the shorter figure. Perplexed, she crept a few dozen meters to the side. From her new vantage point, a moonbeam illuminated the two figures. There was no way she could have missed the telltale red and black mask now. Even as new as she was to this galaxy, she'd read enough to recognize the two Sith lords that stood before her._

_She immediately flattened herself against the ground in a panic, fervently praying that the dream wound end before Revan and Malak spotted her. She hadn't expected Darth Revan to be so tiny, or Malak to be so paranoid over their decision. Xana chanced a long peek above the surface of the grasses. Revan held out a hand in deep concentration, trying to release the door's lock mechanism with the Force. Strangely enough, Revan's robes heavily resembled a dress and he couldn't have been more than 5'2 tall._

_Suddenly Xana found herself in the corner of a windowless, dark stone room. It was barely lit by moonbeams streaming in from crude grates in the ceiling. The only other things in the room besides herself were a few ancient-looking statues and a black, three pronged spire in the very center. Thick, swirling grey mist blanketed the smooth floor, bearing a little too much resemblance to the Taris undercity._

_Her eyes darted to the archway across the room when she heard a sudden noise. Revan and Malak entered, lightsabers ignited for illumination. They took no notice of her and proceeded to the black spire. _

_Xana went wide-eyed as the prongs promptly separated like a blooming flower, displaying an impressive holographic galaxy map in a flash of light. Convinced that the two Sith couldn't see her dream-form, she dared to walk to Revan's side, eyes roving curiously over the map's waypoints and animations. _

"_It was as I expected, then." Xana nearly jumped as a cold and calculating female voice emanated from the figure to her right. So Revan was a woman after all – that explained a lot of things. She had, to Xana's surprise, removed her mask in order to study the map. _

_All Xana could see was a bit of pale, alabaster cheek and full, red lips turned up in a smirk. Holding her breath, Xana swiveled around to try and gaze upon the mysterious face of Darth Revan. She only saw a red lightsaber arcing toward her._

_

* * *

_

Xana suppressed a scream as she shot upwards in her bunk. As soon as she realized she was back on the _Hawk_, she plopped back down onto her pillow and tried to calm her racing heart. The feeling of loneliness and grief, the one that had weighed down her heart that fateful night on Taris, returned full-force. Running shaky hands through her tangled hair, she dodged out of the room and into the refresher.

Xana emerged from the dormitory some minutes later, wearing a baggy, torn purple hoodie on top of her pajamas. She still felt awful from her reaction to Taris' destruction and the ensuing nightmare. Dazed, she tried to recall if she had at some point cried it out during her shower. All that came to mind was a confusion-laced fog. She slicked her wet hair back, not noticing when her shaggy bangs simply fell right back into her eyes.

She ambled aimlessly through the ship's curving corridors, feeling a sense of relief when she finally made it back to the common room. Everyone save for Bastila and Mission was gathered around a counter and food preserver installed into the port wall. Forcing a smile as she approached them, she asked amiably, "What've we got to eat?"

Carth replied, "Just leftover ration bars and salted crackers from the pantry. I haven't checked the cargo hold yet, but so far this is all we have for dinner." He held up several handfuls of square white packages.

Canderous growled in annoyance, "Forget this. I'm gonna go get me some real food when we land." He pushed away from the counter and disappeared into the swoop garage.

Talon looked up from where he was leaning over the sink and asked, "You okay? I haven't seen you come out of your room since you shot down those starfighters, and that was just over seven hours ago."

"Seven hours? What time is it?"

"Galactic standard or Tarisian time?"

"Both."

"Both would read around two in the morning right now."

Xana groaned and ran her fingers through her hair again. "Mmm, yeah, I'm fine. Just really tired is all." She grabbed one of the white packages and plopped down on the floor in a dark corner of the room. Tearing it open, she stuffed her mouth with the golden brown squares and ate hungrily.

Talon leaned his head to the side as he appraised his companion. He just watched with the detached air of a spectator, somehow fearing the moment one of them would draw him out of his reverie. For a moment, they weren't on the run from the Sith fleet. They hadn't just spent the last month fighting for their lives on a strange planet. They weren't headed off to an uncertain future at the hands of some enigmatic organization.

There was just him, watching her.

Wavy black tendrils of hair curtained over her pale face as she hunched over her meager dinner. He noted with droll recognition that this was the first time he'd ever seen her without makeup on. Her inquisitive, wide almond-shaped eyes were as piercing as ever, but she looked softer, more innocent, somehow.

A few midnight strands stuck to her ruddy cheek and she roughly pushed her hair behind one ear. The temperature regulation system kicked in and the vent next to her began to spew out a steady stream of cold air. She shivered and tucked her loose garments around her more tightly. Xana wasn't, by most standards, an exceptionally pretty girl, but she exuded this confidence that made her seem extraordinarily beautiful.

She intrigued him, this crazy girl that had literally crash-landed into his life. How could one person face down impossible odds, endless foes, and near-death with such strength and yet look as innocent and delicate as she did now? Still, something was different about her that he just couldn't place.

Xana paused, taking a moment to stop eating and meet the gaze she had practically felt from across the room. She intensified her own glare and watched as, moments later, his own shifted to the floor. _Good_, she thought, just a twinge of pride surging through her.

_Really_, she thought with self-imposed disdain, _what does he have to judge? I'll be gone like the wind, just a whisper of a memory, in no time. Drifting with the ebb and flow of chance forever more. He's a soldier. He's normal. He's the kind of person who'd never want to be associated with someone like me. He'll grow up, earn his medals, get married, start a family, live out his days in a pristine little flat on Citadel Station, all according to script. And me, I'll still be wandering. _

She angled her head back up to look at him again, and sent him a reassuring smile. Pangs of regret shot through her heart. They'd been seemingly on the cusp of an amazing, mindblowing adventure, fighting for their lives every day amidst constant danger and suspense. And now it was over all too quickly, the remnant of her quest measured in the minutes ticking down on the ETA display.

Her lips curved up in a thoughtful smile. What she wouldn't give to keep on like this – just roaming endlessly, turning the galaxy upside down in a never-ending string of adventures. But no, once they hit Dantooine it would be an endless string of pointless missions and jobs just to keep alive, only straying from one spaceport to another until she had enough money to foray out for a little fun.

But that was her lot in life. He had his own. What mattered the most to her was that now, she was warm, she was fed, and she was breathing. Here and now. It was safe. Better yet, it simply _was_.

Carth called out, "You sure you don't want anything else? Water or a ration bar?"

Xana smiled up at him, shaking her head no. "I've had worse meals than this, believe me. When you're a teenage spacer, you don't exactly get the luxury of eating what you want."

"Now I find that hard to believe."

"Nah, when you're in my line of work, you learn to take what you can get. If you can get it, that is."

"So what do teenage smugglers eat then?", piped up Talon.

"Well, when me and my crew first struck out, I was the only one with the slightest idea how to cook. Which wasn't much, by the way. So I simply deep-fried the heck out of everything. Unfortunately, food is harder to come by when you're a fledgeling smuggler crew so we had to eat everything regardless of how it turned out. And I mean _everything._"

Talon winced.

"Yeah. I think one of my worst ideas was attempting to deep-fry fruit salad. Or pudding. At least I thought it was pudding. I didn't expect pudding to be so explosive though."

Both guys stared at her, incredulous. Carth stumbled for something tactful to say.

"Ah- well – er – huuu..."

"You fail at life.", Talon cut in abruptly, amusement written all over his face.

"Okay, fine. Be that way. But don't expect me to tell you about the time our power supply ran low and I got it into my head to cook dinner with a bug zapper."

Talon and Carth tried to rein in their sudden bout of laughter, very unsuccessfully. Even Xana broke out in a bigger grin. She stood up, brushing crumbs away, and asked, "So where's everyone else?"

Carth replied, "Well, T3's in the cockpit, Mission's holed up in the starboard cabins, and I'm pretty sure Bastila's in the cargo hold."

Realization crossed Xana's face and she burst out softly, "Oh no, if I was sleeping in the port cabin and Mission was in the other – I am so sorry, it's two in the morning and you've had nowhere to sleep this whole time!"

"S'okay kid, I've gone a lot longer without sleep, and so has he.", said Carth, gesturing to Talon. "Part of our training. Though I think I'm gonna get some shut-eye now; only a few more hours till we reach Dantooine. You probably should too, Talon." He yawned deeply and disappeared down the hallway.

"I'll turn in soon, sir. Goodnight." Talon turned back to Xana. She had her arms crossed protectively around her stomach and was staring at the floor like it had just come to life. There was no way this bedraggled girl with the haunted look on her face was the Xana he'd come to know and lo – _Tolerate...befriend...appreciate..._

He walked over to her and leaned over, trying to look into her eyes. "Hey, you sure you're okay? You look kinda – off – somehow."

Leave it to Talon to notice the little things. _Stalker_. She smiled ruefully and leaned up against the wall, shoving her hands into her pockets.

"Look, you can't really tell anyone but...something happened to me as we were leaving Taris. It's like my mind was running at the breaking point, and I felt this whole myriad of emotions all at once. These images of Taris – and I mean all over the planet, not just what we saw – kept popping into my head like a slideshow. All my nerve endings were sending electro-signals at the same time, it was like being tossed around in a roiling sea, only internal."

Talon leaned on the wall next to her. "Sounds a lot like you had a panic attack. It's not uncommon for people who've been on difficult – and emotionally exhausting – missions to get them." He was talking about the rakghoul incident, and she knew it.

"It's not like that, I can get over everything that happened - eventually. I'm not that weak, to let one month's events rule my life."

"Then what's bothering you?"

She sighed and looked away. After a prolonged silence, she spoke in a low murmur, "After we rescued Bastila from the Black Vulkars...she said I was Force Sensitive. I think maybe when Taris got destroyed, what I was feeling was an echo through the Force."

He stared at her, struggling for something to say. Dismissing it would make him seem callous, but agreeing with her would only upset her more.

"Talon, it felt awful. Like everyone's memories on the planet were shooting through my mind at once. I don't even know if this is normal for an event of that magnitude, or if I'm extremely Force Sensitive, cause Bastila really didn't seem to have a problem with it. And what's more, after I fell asleep in the cabin, I dreamed about -" She paused, uncertain of whether or not spilling her worries out to him was the right thing to do or not.

"What?", he prodded gently.

"Revan and Malak. I found myself trapped in this ancient structure, on Dantooine I think, with them. They were looking at this black sculpture thingy. Revan took off her mask, and when I tried to go forward and look- she caught me. The rest you can probably figure out."

"Oh."

"It's not too big a deal though; there's other stuff I have to worry about. I don't even know what I'm gonna do when I get to Dantooine. Maybe get a cheap shuttle to Corellia and look for work in Tyrena. I hear it's really beautiful there. Or maybe I should see the Jedi about this Force thing. Probably not."

"Well, wherever you're going, I just wanna wish you the best of luck. I can honestly say I've never met anyone quite like you, Xana, and I know you're gonna rock the galaxy one of these days."

For the first time that night, a genuine grin lit up her face. "Thanks, snipertard. I guess I can say pretty much the same about you. You know, once this whole crazy quest is over I think you're gonna be the one I'll miss the most."

"What about Mission?"

"Nah, she'll probably end up traveling with me, what with Big Z's lifedebt and all."

"Oh, right."

"Yep. Speaking of which, I better go find her. Just – thanks for everything. I'm glad to have been your friend, even for just this short time. Maybe if you're on leave, you can look me up and we can hang out sometime?"

"Wouldn't think of forgetting."

* * *

She then surprised him by wrapping her arms around him in a light embrace. He recovered from the initial shock long enough to give her a brief pat on the back in return. After a few seconds, she pulled away and simply walked off. Only when she had passed the doorframe did she spare a final glance back at him. _Gone like the wind, Xana – gone like the wind. _

Mission lay curled on her bunk, clutching a pillow to herself. The only thing she could hear were her own hitching sniffles, periodically punctuating the heavy silence like a sorrowful metronome. All was dark save for the blue lighting fixtures behind her back. They cast an eerie glow over the room, reminding her easily of Taris' lower city.

Yet another knock sounded from outside the door, and she sat up in exasperation. She attempted to yell angrily, but only emitted a strangled cry, "Will you people just leave me _alone_! How do you expect me to deal with my home being blown to bits with you _schuttas_ making that kriffing racket all the time?"

She was answered in a mangled and badly enunciated attempt at Shryiiwook. It sounded roughly like, "Language, Mission! Will you just let me in already?" A series of coughs and throat-clearing followed.

Mission sniffled again and got up, perplexed. "You got a cold, Big Z?" She hit the door release button and Xana dodged into the room.

"Nope, but at least I got you to open the door. So talk to me."

"Will everyone please just stop worrying! I'll be fine, it's not like Taris was that great of a place anyway. I mean, me and Big Z probably would have just blown the rock when I hit eighteen anyway. It's just...I had people there that were like family to me, and all my memories are there. And now it's just – gone."

Xana's face twisted into an empathetic grimace and she nodded, understanding all too well how that felt. She seated herself on a bunk and motioned for Mission to sit next to her.

"Mission, I know it takes time to move on. But blocking it out and sitting in a dark hole to wait out the grief is not the way to go. If you ever need to talk to someone about anything, _at all,_ I'm always here. After all, if you and I are really gonna be traveling together, we need to start thinking more like a crew!" Xana playfully punched Mission's shoulder.

Mission looked up at her hopefully. "You're really gonna let me and Zaalbar travel with you?"

"Psh, yeah! You didn't think I was gonna insult a Wookiee's culture, did you? Even I'm not stupid enough to try that! And besides, I'd be lucky to have you and Z as a crew."

"Thanks, Xana. It really means a lot." She wrapped the older girl in a warm hug. "I don't mean to shut everyone out, I just need time to grieve, ya know?"

Xana returned the hug and asked, "You sure you don't want me to get Zaalbar in here, at least?"

"Could you? If you don't mind, that is."

"Sure, buddy. Hang in there, okay?"

* * *

"You bet."

Bastila watched from her corner of the cargo hold as Xana and Zaalbar conversed in Shyriiwook. _How that child retained her knowledge of all those languages, I'll never know_, she thought bemusedly.

Zaalbar patted Xana on the back encouragingly, the girl staggering under the weight of the Wookiee's massive paw but smiling nonetheless. He hurried out of the cargo hold and Xana turned to her. She stared at Bastila questioningly, internally debating whether or not to go talk to her.

Standing up from her cross-legged pose on the floor, Bastila cleared her throat and asked, "Was there something you needed, Xana?"

Xana approached Bastila tentatively. The older woman's imperturbable air of stoic propriety was unnerving to say the least. She seemed almost regal somehow, despite essentially being a servant of the public.

"Um, yeah. You see, I had a question about the Force." Bastila's eyebrows raised ever so slightly and she hurried to continue. "When we left the planet, I had – well, panic attack isn't quite the word for it, it was more like my brain, emotions, and nerve endings were all on overload and I was flipping out cause I couldn't stop it. Would that have anything to do with my possible Force sensitivity?"

Bastila seemed to contemplate this for a few moments before answering, "Although it is the duty of the Council to determine whether you are indeed Force sensitive, I would say you were experiencing some of the effects of Taris' destruction. I tried to shield your mind from it as long as possible, but -"

"Was that why I could only feel bits and pieces of it until we got into the atmosphere? You were protecting me the whole time?", Xana cut in.

"Simply put, yes. If I had allowed your mind to take the brunt of the aftershocks, you would have undergone some mental damage if not significant discomfort. It was, however, difficult to shield both our minds at the same time, so I was only able to maintain the shield until that particular moment in time. I apologize for my incompetency in that matter."

Xana didn't try to hide her look of surprise, "Dude's, it's okay! More than okay, actually. I'm surprised you actually wanted to help me, considering how badly I treated you."

"Petty things such as your constantly talking back to me and trying to undermine my authority are below the Jedi. It was my duty to aid you."

"All right then – I'm still really grateful, though. And, uh, sorry about all that."

"Your apology is accepted. Now if I may return to my meditations?"

"Sure."

Xana exited the cargo hold, randomly wandering the curving hallways. She wasn't needed – or wanted, she presumed – anywhere else on the ship so there was little else to do. After what seemed like a half hour, she decided it was safe to try the starboard cabins again.

Mission was now slumbering peacefully on her bunk. Zaalbar was sitting up against the far corner of the room, presumably keeping watch on his young charge in case she had nightmares. A wry grin spread across Xana's face as she remembered how Talon had done the same for her not too long ago. She waved to the Wookiee and plopped down in the bunk across the room from Mission's.

_Yup, the world is a pretty confusing, fragged-up place right now. And I don't know when it's ever going to return to - something resembling normal. Nothing a nap can't solve_, she reasoned as she snuggled deeper into her pillow.

As her eyes drifted shut, a long-forgotten melody rose to her lips, "So sleep tonight, we'll sleep dreamlessly this time, when we awake we'll know that everything's alright..." And with that last breath, her song faded into silence. Like whispers in the wind.

**Author's Note: I love writing these 'in-between' chapters, just means I get to use my imagination more. Hope all the poetic license I put in there wasn't too cheesy! Or that my weird taste in music didn't scare all my readers away ;) The songs fit really well though and sound awesome even if they're unusual. I wanted to make the ending dramatic and calm, like the eye of the storm, but it seems a tad bit awkward. Ah well, any reviews and comments are appreciated!**

**~rockforthecross74**


	7. Surprise, surprise

Chapter 7 Soundtrack:

Waking up – Coffee and Cigarettes by NeverShoutNever! (cue - *)

Xana's music (optional) – Ocean of Apathy by August Burns Red

* * *

Meeting the Council – Outta Control by Thousand Foot Krutch (cue- **)

* * *

Breakfast/ Arguing with the Council – Exhibition by Falling Up (cue - ***)

* * *

Argument on the Ebon Hawk – Boulevard of Broken Dreams by Green Day (cue - ****)

* * *

"We can stay here on Dantooine to buy supplies and gather our strength. We can't just keep running from the Sith – we need a plan. What do you think, Xana?"

Both Bastila and Carth wheeled around, only to find Talon standing in the corner of the cockpit.

Bastila asked exasperatedly, "And where is Xana? She really should take part in these important discussions."

"Still sleeping, ma'am."

"Yes, well, if you would please inform her of that when she does awaken? I must go meet with the Council to discuss...recent developments." With that, she strode out of the cockpit and down the boarding ramp.

* * *

Talon paused hesitantly at the door to the starboard bunk, fist raised in awkward indecision. It was now barely past noon, and the rest of the crew had long since departed for the market. Bastila was the only exception, of course.

He was mildly surprised when she commed him a half-hour ago, instructing him to retrieve Xana for a sudden meeting with the Council. After all, it was only last night that Xana acknowledged that she was possibly highly Force sensitive. He'd decided to let her awaken before he informed her of the appointment with the Council, but she still hadn't stirred.

Now he was faced with the very difficult and awkward choice between going into her bunkroom and waking her himself, or reporting empty-handed to Bastila, who was probably very impatient by now. Either choice involved disrupting very irate, combat-savvy females he definitely did not want to cross. _Man, my job really sucks_, he thought despondently.

In the end, he'd decided he preferred dealing with Xana. She was in closer proximity and hopefully considered him enough of a friend not to lash out.

Talon knocked loudly. No response came. He tried once more, this time pounding on the door. Still no response. Finally, he nearly beat down the door in his attempt to wake the sleepy girl. Nada. Sighing impatiently, he activated the door control and stepped in before his common sense could tell him otherwise.

It was easy enough to tell which bunk was Mission's. Security spikes, small credit chips, two vibro-blades, and a few black t-shirts sat atop a mussed-up blanket. Xana's personal area, however, made Mission's look like an immaculate Republic barrack. Dirty laundry, datapads, food wrappers, memory discs, vibroblades, and frag grenades were strewn all over a three-foot radius of her bunk. The bed itself looked like it had been attacked by kath hounds. One blanket was hanging off the side while the other was tangled over the leg and waist of a soundly sleeping form.

Talon strode over loudly, hoping to wake her with his presence in the room. He prodded her shoulder and called out tentatively, "Xana? You need to get up now." She simply gave a loud, decidedly un-ladylike snort and rolled over, clasping her blanket tighter.

"Come on Xana, Bastila's going to kill me if I don't get you to the Council chambers soon!"

She just shifted angrily and rammed her pillow over her head.

Summoning up his very best Lieutenant voice, he finally hollered, "XANA! Just get the kriff up already!"

She tensed up, rolled back over, and lifted the pillow just enough so that a very intense glare could be seen peeking out from under the brim. Her voice was hoarse and crackly as she growled, "Rule one, snipertard. Don't ever wake me during a powernap unless you suddenly get tired of living. Rule two. Stay out of my room. Rule three. Under no circumstances are you to yell at me like I'm a common soldier. Ever."

Talon shrank back a bit, though still retaining his military composure. He spotted a portable music player laying on a shelf above Xana's bunk and tried to turn it on. "Right, sorry. It's just that you've got an appointment with the Jedi Council, it's my responsibility to get you there, and you're probably really late as it is. And guess who gets blamed? So why don't we put on some music to help wake you up-"

He found the correct button at that moment and was suddenly cut off by a deafening string of heavy metal guitar solos and thrash bass lines. Deep, poetic screamo music soon followed. Talon winced and covered his ears, attempting to recover from a miniature heart attack. Xana slowly sat up in her bunk and began to nod her head serenely to the music.

She reached up to turn the music down and declared, "Okay, I think I'm up now." She stretched and sighed, "Now this is the proper way to start the day."

Talon uncovered his ears and remarked, "Have I ever told you how incredibly weird you are?"

She smirked at him playfully from under her extreme bedhead. "No, but I appreciate the compliment."

"It wasn't a – GAH, just get ready!" Xana narrowed her eyes at him and he was quick to add, "Please?"

She stood up reluctantly and shook out her blankets. Her blue vibroblade clattered to the floor.

Talon looked up in shock, his eyes bugging out as he murmured, "You do know that being tough enough to 'sleep with vibroblades' is just a figure of speech, right?"

Xana picked up the sword and clutched it protectively. "Yeah, but you don't really expect me to be able to sleep without Stabby, do you?"

"I honestly don't know what's scarier, the fact that you can't sleep without your sword or that you actually named it Stabby."

Xana laughed. "Naw, I didn't really name the thing." She looked at the sword contemplatively before withdrawing it into the hilt. "Though next time I should probably retract it _before_ it gets lost in my bunk."

Talon rolled his eyes amusedly. He knew one thing for sure – it was going to be a heck of a lot more boring when this girl left.

* * *

Xana swaggered into the Council chambers some time later, somewhat bedraggled but presentable. She wore her usual getup and her hair was bunched into a messy ponytail. Even though she slouched back in typical scoundrel fashion, her tone was very mature and businesslike when she addressed the four individuals in the room.

"The Jedi Council, I presume? And good morning to you, Bastila."

"You're late.", the member on the far right replied.

Xana smirked. "Well, sunshine, I don't recall setting up this little shindig or ever hearing about a set time. It's not exactly polite to request that an individual drop everything just to come and see you last-minute."

Bastila looked scandalized while said member simply scowled at her and bent down to whisper to a green midget in the center. Xana couldn't make out any of what he was saying, but she was able to catch the phrase, "Oh yes, that's her all right." Perplexed, she then gave up on paying attention and focused on deciding if the green midget was adorable or creepy. It simply stared back at her with froglike, unblinking eyes. _Definitely creepy._

"Ah, yes. You are Bastila's companion, are you not?" Xana nearly jumped when it finally spoke, then regained her senses and nodded. "I am Master Vandar, and these are Masters Vrook and Dorak. Bastila has told us of the recent events on Taris, and we are especially interested in a vision you both shared."

"First of all, it's creepy enough she thinks we shared a dream, but how would she have possibly known in the first place?"

Vrook answered, "She could sense your presence there. The location she described sounds familiar to some ancient ruins we discovered not far from the enclave, and it is no coincidence that you two have dreamed about it. We believe it may be indicative of a bond forged between you."

"Whoa, hold up now! So not only is Bastila like my psychological stalker or something, you're expecting me to believe we're joined?"

Vandar replied, "Yes, such occurrences are not uncommon among Force sensitives in dire or threatening circumstances. Perhaps with a bit of training you could -"

Vrook cut in, "Master Vandar speaks out of turn. A child, even with a mind open to learning and instruction, is difficult to teach the ways of the Force. How much more if we train an adult?"

Xana said, "Uh, guys, I'm only 17 – not quite an adult yet. And what is that supposed to mean? I can be open-minded when I fragging well want to be!"

"You see that? Arrogant, stubborn, bold – this one will be impossible to teach!"

"And thank you for waiting till I was out of the room to speak freely about me."

Vandar added, "But this is a special case - with so many Knights and Padawans turning to the dark side we need as many members as we can get. And now that Revan is gone, perhaps she may be the key to winning the war once and for all."

"Are you sure Revan is truly dead? What if we should undertake to train this one and the dark lord should return?"

"Seriously, are you people senile? I'm _right here_ and, as of yet, _not_ your pawn to defeat the Sith and bring order to the galaxy and whatnot. Don't even think you can tell me what I'm going to do with my future, force sensitive or not."

The tension in the room could have been cut with a vibroblade. Xana somehow managed to glare vehemently at all four Jedi at the same time, Bastila looked as if she was about to pass out from shock and indignation, Dorak was shuffling awkwardly from foot to foot, and Vrook was so furious it seemed what little hair he had left was falling out at that very moment.

Deciding enough was enough, Vandar decided to diffuse the situation with something he knew would lighten Xana's mood.

"Young one, the fact remains that you are highly force sensitive and therefore a threat to Malak. He will come looking to destroy you at all costs, and he will succeed if you are not trained. We are simply trying to help you. For now, would you be kind enough to leave us to our deliberations? You must be famished after your long journey – is there anything you would like to eat in the meantime?"

Xana immediately perked up. Looking around at the impressive architecture and elegant design of the structure, she surmised the enclave must have had a pretty good chef as well. Smirking deviously, she recited a mental list of every food she'd been craving during their little cracker feast the previous night.

"Why yes, can I get some fried fish, rice, stir-fried vegetables and tubers, pickles, hashbrowns, cinnamon sweet-cakes, double-battered barbecue nerf wings, onion rings, chili, and while you're at it, some Corellian-style deep fried mushrooms?"

Vandar didn't bat an eyelash or react with the annoyance Xana thought he would. He simply proceeded down a hallway and motioned for Xana to follow, chatting amiably as they walked towards the dining hall.

"I apologize for Vrook's behavior. Perhaps this can convince you that joining the Academy would not be as bad as he may make it seem, hm?"

Xana cracked a smile at the little alien and nodded. "Maybe. What's going to happen to my companions while I'm here?"

"They shall remain on Enclave grounds. Departure clearance for your craft will not be given until the Council comes to a consensus on what action should be taken."

"Won't that take a really long time? Can't you just let them go and retain me if I'm the one you're after?" _Please say yes, I can't bust out of this joint with the guilt of leaving a crew stranded._

"Perhaps. But I have a feeling that you will be more open to the prospect of staying here if they do remain. I have already sent a transmission to Captain Onasi and Lieutenant Averra's superiors informing them of recent events and obtained permission for their indefinite absence from the Republic military."

_Frag it._

They arrived at the dining hall and Vandar waved her in, stopping to repeat her list to the cook. Xana sat down moodily at one of the elegant lunch tables, bringing one foot up on the cushioned bench and resting her head on her knee.

There was still the option of pretending to comply and then running like there was no tomorrow, but then her companions would be stuck here until she was found. Which would probably be never, considering how good she was at going incognito. Still, that was no way to treat the people that had looked after her physical and emotional well-being for the past month. She could comply with the Council's wishes and become a Jedi, but this was the kind of shackling-down she'd wanted to avoid for her life. After all, when the whole galaxy was out there, ready to be explored, why would she want to sit in this place her entire life and meditate?

And then again, there was the median option of irritating the Force out of the Jedi Council until they decided to kick her out and send her on her way. The devious smirk lit up her features again. _Oh, this is going to be fun._

Her countenance brightened even more when a vast array of silver serving dishes and a stack of plates was set in front of her. Each dish exuded aromas more tantalizing than she'd ever remembered her favorite foods even having. They must have been strong-smelling as well, because in a matter of minutes all of the male members of the crew (and Mission) came running in.

By then, Xana had already devoured a good third of the buffet and was still digging into a sizable mound of food on her plate. Talon automatically took a seat next to Xana, halfheartedly filling up the plate he was passed. "What's all this for?"

Xana tried to reply around her mouthful of food, but it came out as "Jrki tvfy git oh mah gid shyd."

"What?"

She swallowed and repeated, "Jedi trying to get on my good side."

"Let me guess, all your favorite foods?"

"Yep", Xana replied happily as she placed a pickle on top of a sweet cake and bit down.

He turned back to his food without another word, staring down at his plate while pushing his breakfast around absentmindedly.

"Now what's bugging you? You look more emo than I do", she joked, nudging his arm playfully.

"Just got chewed out by Bastila and the Jedi Council. According to her, not only did I wake you up entirely too late, but 'my not giving you adequate time to get ready put you in a mood conducive to the appalling behavior you exhibited'", he replied.

"Want me to sass off at them some more in retaliation? It's crazy fun, you should try it sometime!"

"No. The last thing I need is to get in any more trouble. Hey listen, I've got to go but can we talk later?"

"Yeah, sure thing bud."

She sent him a bright, reassuring smile but he simply looked away and left. Mission immediately took the seat he vacated, setting down her own near-empty plate next to Xana's. It was obvious she hadn't eaten much either.

"And how is miss Mission today?", Xana asked, patting the younger girl's back comfortingly.

"Better.", Mission grinned, "Lots better, actually. Thanks for talking to me last night, it really helped me to get past a lot of grief that I kept trying to hide away. It's just really, really ground-shattering to have something like that happen. But I guess I can consider myself lucky. If it wasn't for you, I guess I wouldn't even be alive right now, much less have somewhere to go."

"You do know I'm probably going to end up becoming a Jedi, right?"

"Yeah, but after everything on Taris, I'm gonna stick with you no matter where you go. I dunno, it's like you're the first person other than Zaalbar to actually care about me in a long, long time and I'm just really grateful for that."

"Mission, I swear Malak and the Sith will pay for what they did to your home planet."

"It's okay, really. I guess I kinda have to get over it. The more time I spend dwelling on what happened, the more chance there is some other planet will get blown up by the Sith too. So don't worry about me and don't let me slow you down."

"You really are a lot more mature than you look, you know that?"

"No duh! That's what I've been trying to tell you people since Taris!"

Xana laughed and gave the younger girl a one-armed hug. "Well in that case people should definitely listen to you more often."

"Xana.", Bastila peeked her head in through the doorway, "The Council is ready to see you again. Please follow me and do try to be more polite this time."

"No promises."

* * *

"You must understand that neither you or we have little choice in this matter.", Vandar tried to explain gently.

"Yes! You do! You could let me go, put me in some kind of a "Force Sensitives Protection Program" or other, and we could all pretend this never happened! That's a very viable alternative choice right there!"

"Young one, please believe me when I say we have a very special task in store for you if you choose to walk this path. If you do not join us, then it is likely we will have no other hope for winning this war against the Sith. The Jedi order will fall and the galaxy will be doomed."

"I'm seventeen! I can barely take care of myself, much less deal with such a monumental burden!"

"I sense much strength in you. You have the tenacity and perseverance to do what must be done no matter what hardships you encounter, and that is why you are ideal for this task."

Xana sighed wearily. "Fine. I'll do it. However, if I'm going to submit myself entirely to the cause of this still-ambiguous mission, then I'll do so on my own terms. I'll do your bidding, but don't expect me to allow you to tell me how to look, act, or otherwise live my life. I should be allowed to have emotions, attachments, and personal possessions. And I should be given the option to quit and freelance whenever I so choose."

Vrook cut in at that moment, bellowing, "Now you wait one second! You are in no position to bargain, much less with such disrespectful audacity! Simply put, you cannot leave this enclave unless you attain the docking clearance to release your ship, and we will not give you said clearance until you are sent on this mission!"

Xana's face turned an alarming shade of red and she screamed back even louder.

"Okay, fine! You want to compel me to stay here and go through the ropes of trying to mold me into your perfect little errand girl? Be my guest! You might be able to make me parrot back your ideologies but you can never force me to take them to heart! And I don't give a kriff what any of you say – after the galaxy is stable and accounted for, I am going rogue whether you like it or not!"

She turned her back on the Jedi Council and strode briskly out of the meeting room, stopping only to spit contemptuously when she reached the entrace.

Vandar slowly lifted a tiny green claw and facepalmed. "That did not go well at all. Now her journey will only be made harder."

He strolled wearily out of the room, calling over his shoulder, "Someone see to it that Vrook draws me a bath and fetches me some tea, or bathroom-cleaning duty he shall have again, hmmm?"

* * *

****

Xana stalked out of the enclave and toward the Ebon Hawk. Her boots beat a steady rhythm as she stomped ferociously across the docking bay's granite floor. Retrieving a crowbar from the cargo hold, she then attempted to pry open the durasteel clamps holding her ship in place. A half hour of straining, yelling, and pounding with various hard objects only succeeded in twisting and snapping the crowbar itself.

Now feeling more agitated than ever, Xana left the mess of mangled metal behind for the dock workers to clean up. She entered the Hawk and hastily poured herself a cup of caffa. The liquid sloshed over the brim of the cup and onto her hand, eliciting another furious tirade from the girl. She abandoned her caffa as well and curled up on one of the nearby crash seats to sulk.

Talon came striding into the room a moment later, curiosity written all over his face.

"So what did the Council want?"

"Jedi business, snipertard. Can't tell ya, and frankly, I really don't want to talk about it now.", she snapped.

"Yeah, well, Carth and I just got direct orders from Admiral Dodonna herself. Apparently we are now assigned to serving on this ship as part of a special-ops Jedi mission."

"So then you must know more about what's going on than I do. Why ask me?"

"Because she closed the transmission by adding that as much as she hated to put two of her finest soldiers on the line, we were the only ones currently capable of completing the mission. Then she wished us luck in the 'no doubt perilous months to come', telling us to turn to the Jedi Council for further briefing."

"So? What's the big deal then? Of course there's going to be some danger involved for all of us, not just you and Carth. If you can't handle it then just back out."

"Xana, you don't understand. This mission's been labeled extremely high priority – the kind that, if we refuse, the lightest punishment we can hope to receive would be a quiet dishonorable discharge."

"Okay, to be honest, I had no idea it was going to be that serious. Still, I've got my orders too. And those clearly state that I am not to discuss that mission until the due time."

" 'Due time'? You do understand it's extremely obvious we're going to be putting our lives on the line, right?"

"Yes. I do."

"And how do you even know if we're even going to survive until the Council finally decides to tell the rest of us what's going on?"

"I don't."

"How can you be so passive about this? Look at you, you're already starting to act like one of those condescending, overly-philosophical drones!"

"No I'm not! Has it ever possibly occurred to you that -"

"Has is ever possibly occurred to _you_ that you're purposely leaving your own comrades out of the loop for the sake of obeying a council you've only been under the authority of for a day? Nice to know your loyalty's so steadfast."

"You think I actually enjoy the prospect of turning into a conformist, pacifist clone over the period of the next few months? Or that these people are practically holding me hostage with the whole 'if you don't cooperate the Republic is doomed and you will be stranded here' bit? They just expect me to change my whole life on a whim and 'deal' with this blatant coercion on a daily basis!"

"Not everything is about you, Xana! Carth and I, and the rest of this crew for that matter, could be practically on death row as we speak because of this mission! But of course it's still not a big enough deal for you to disobey your precious Council."

"You know it's not like that at all! What part of 'they won't let us leave if I don't obey' don't you understand?"

"And it would be _that_ big of a deal if you just told me already? Really? Just that one little thing? When your life was in danger I never hesitated to go and put myself at risk for you-"

"How dare you hold that over my head! I told you that you didn't need to come with me into the undercity and you did so anyway by your own choice!"

"So I suppose it was also your choice that you fainted before you could receive the cure?"

"No, but I would've been able to get to the cure faster if I never had to argue with you in the first place! Therefore, your point is null and void." She lifted her chin in defiant triumph.

He shook his head in disgust. "You see that right there? You're talking just like one of _them_! Elitist, snobby, can't ever concede defeat when it's clear they're downright _wrong_..."

"Watch it, Averra." Xana's tone was dangerous, far more so than any she'd ever used with him before.

Incensed, Talon continued to rant obliviously.

"Should I be unsurprised when you finally start planning to knock us off one by one like pawns?"

Xana's eyes shot wide and her fists clenched. She marched right up to Talon and slapped him hard, sending the young soldier reeling back a few inches. Before he even had a chance to bring his hand up to his stinging cheek, she grabbed him by the collar and yanked him down to her eye level.

"Listen. To. Me.", she snarled, "Don't you _ever_ compare me with those manipulative, self-serving individuals again, because I am nothing like them. If I didn't care about this crew then I would've been long gone by now and you know it. You think you have the right to judge me? To insult my integrity to my face? You don't even _know_ me."

Xana shoved him back angrily and he hit the storage room door with a thud.

She then turned on her heel and marched down the hall towards the starboard dormitories, locking herself in her bunkroom. The rest of the evening was punctuated only by the sounds of feverish practice combat and deafening screamo music.

* * *

**AN - And the drama factor increases! I didn't really intend for there to be so many argument scenes but I actually think this turned out for the better. I can't stand "sunshine lolly pops" type fics where nothing ever goes wrong, it just sucks all the realism right out of the story. Poor Xana's having a tough time of it, but to be honest it was kinda fun writing her dialogue when she was 'sassing off' to the Council. And for the sake of realism, she's got to have a misunderstanding with Talon over the Jedi thing sooner or later, so I thought this was a good time for that. SOMEBODY'S been spending too much time around Mr. Trust Issues...although I can't help but be sympathetic cause let's face it, Xana hits hard! **

**Please review and let me know if the dialogue was all right/not cheesy - I proofread it five times already so dang right I want to know if there was something I missed! =P**

**~rockforthecross74  
**


	8. Breaking Point

Chapter 8 – Breaking Point

First Day of Training – Boulevard of Broken Dreams by Green Day (cued in by -1-), Ignorance by Paramore (cued in by -2-)

Saying goodbye – Which to Bury, Us or the Hatchet by Relient K (cued in by -3-)

**Xana: Hey there! I'm filling in for RFC74 to say sorry for taking two weeks to start on the next chapter. **_**Apparently**_** inspiration strikes only when it fragging well wants to. And most of the time for chapters other than the one she's working on. But here's a flashback-packed, super-dramatic chapter to make up for it! And, not to spoil anything, but Talon and I get to have a little fluffy moment! ^_^**

**Talon (holding ice pack to his cheek): Can we start the chapter now? I'd like for the time lapse to happen so this [points to cheek] can be healed already.**

**Xana: Oh, all right then! Enjoy the chapter! **

**

* * *

**

Xana sat alone in the dining hall, absentmindedly pushing around the wilting salad and cold fish fillet on her tray. She hadn't eaten all day, but the feeling of misery that seemed to lodge itself in her gut drove away her appetite.

The past few weeks had seemed more like months. Monotonous, seemingly endless months in which she had only become more alienated from her crew and her fellow students. Of course, she and Talon hadn't talked since their argument. Neither had wanted to be the first to break down and apologize, and now what was left of their friendship was slowly fading as a result. Over time, Mission became awed at Xana's new status as a Jedi, and seemed to fall silently starstruck every time the older girl returned after spending all day in the Enclave. The Twi'lek now spent lazy afternoons playing pazaak with Zaalbar and honing her targeting skills with Talon and Carth.

Speaking of the Republic pilot, he hadn't spoken two words to Xana since she lashed out at Talon. Her guess was that Talon had gone running to his mentor – who already had an unhealthy distrust of Jedi – and won him over to his side of the argument. Then, the two got through to Mission and voila – instant alienation. The only real social interaction Xana got anymore was when she'd hang out with Canderous in the swoop garage and ask him to tell her war stories.

She pulled her hair out of its' greasy knot and ran her hands through it in frustration. What was she even doing here anyway? It was obvious they hadn't even wanted her from day one. But then again, nobody seemed to want her anymore.

* * *

-1-

_Xana strode into the classroom confidently but humbly. She wore a simple black tee, black skinny jeans, and black high-top sneakers, her hair wetted down so it would curl into a crazy mass of waves and frame her face. Her expression was innocent and placid, but her eyes held a clear spark of defiance that irked Master Vrook to no end._

_The Jedi Master leveled his gaze at her as she took her seat in the front of the class. _

"_Class, it seems we have a new Padawan learner here with us today. So let us take some time to familiarize her with the standards associated with such a privilege, shall we?", he asked, voice dripping with false sweetness._

"_First of all, you _will_ wear the traditional Jedi robes we had sent to your ship and your appearance will be in order next time you come to class. Seeing as this is your first day, this offense will be overlooked, though future violations will be subject to disciplinary action. Furthermore, you must have a pleasant and respectful disposition when addressing your teachers. You will learn quickly that acts of defiance are not tolerated here. Am I understood?"_

"_Loud and clear, sunshine." _

_Vrook scowled at Xana, who simply smirked back with a 'Who, me?' expression on her face._

"_The rest of you are to keep an eye on Miss Dakari and report any offenses to me or the Jedi Council."_

_Xana's classmates murmured a polite acknowledgement. _

"_Now, today we will begin our series of philosophical lectures on attachments and how they ultimately lead to the dark side."_

_Xana's hand shot up._

"_You have a question, miss Dakari?"_

"_Yeah. Okay, so you think attachments put one at risk for emotional turmoil. I get that. But wouldn't teaching people to bottle up what's essentially an unavoidable part of their innate human nature leave them at risk for being unable to deal with it when they're not strong enough to keep it from breaking out? In a way, your teachings are kinda conducive to people falling to the dark side, don't you think?"_

_The class mumbled among themselves quietly. A look of shock and indignation crossed Vrook's face._

"_Quiet! I did not give any of you permission to speak! As for you, padawan, I would kindly thank you not to insult my teachings or the tenets of an Order you clearly cannot comprehend."_

"_It was a legitimate question!", Xana yelled. She adopted a condescendingly accusing tone and added, "One that you are clearly refusing to answer because there is no reasonable rebuttal within the confines of Jedi logic."_

_The class began to mumble again and Vrook turned bright red this time. _

"_You will report to the Jedi Council immediately for disciplinary action! Perhaps in the future you will learn to be more tactful when speaking."_

"_But I-"_

"_GO!"

* * *

_

That afternoon, the Council was no more open to her pleas than Vrook was. She'd been assigned to cleaning duty for the next several weeks, and her already shaky reputation with her classmates only worsened.

* * *

_Back and forth. Up and down. Rinse. Start again. The hypnotizing rhythm only stopped to give her time to glare at the mop and straighten out her aching back yet again. Other Padawans stopped to openly stare and point and the strange, deviant new student. Some even had the audacity to laugh. _

_Eventually, Xana's eyes grew so tired from the constant glaring that she simply kept them downcast and continued with her work. Sometimes she wished fleetingly that she'd run into Mission or Talon as she made her rounds down the hall. It happened once. They glanced at her and didn't look back. _

Somehow, the day only got worse and worse. Only after that first afternoon, she already decided she'd had enough and rushed out to the docking bay with a commlink in hand.

_Splicer looked down at her with an unreadable expression. The exhaust from his smuggling vessel and the smoggy winds of the Nar Shaddaa docks whipped his fiery blondish-red hair around as he struggled for words. Finally, he simply smiled at her and opened his arms wide. Xana fell into the embrace, breathing in the familiar smoke-and-diesel smell of his ratty black trench coat. _

_When she pulled away, she was surprised to find his hand in hers. He withdrew it and in her palm lay a brand-new, state of the art comlink._

_He spoke with his usual smooth, aloof drawl, but an undercurrent of emotion and promise laced his every word._

"_There's a number pre-programmed into this comlink that will always get through to my personal comm channel. You ever get into any trouble, you're stranded, you don't have cash, you need anything _at all_, you contact me and I'll come find you. Look,", he sighed, " when I rescued you from my dad's base of operations I made a promise that I'd watch out for you, and I want you to know that even though you're going solo that promise still stands no matter what." _

"_Thank you." Xana fought to keep tears from her eyes."You don't know how much this means to me. These past seven months - all the stuff you've done for me and now you're just letting me free. My life is truly my own again. Just...thank you." _

_The tears ran down her cheeks anyway and he gently wiped them away. _

"_Hey. None of that. C'mon, you're going free! It's your first day as a Republic citizen, you gotta smile!"_

_She managed a watery smile and he gave her one in return. "I promise, Splice, I'll stay strong and rock this galaxy so hard you'll be proud you helped me out." _

"_Atta girl, Roxy. Now, I got a warehouse full of discontinued Aratech weps I gotta ship out by tomorrow, so I should probably get going. I just wanted to tell you...well, just take care of yourself, okay? And always remember, I'm only a comm call away." _

_Now, eight-and-a-half months later, Xana punched in that number and tearfully waited for her best friend to pick up the other line. All she received in response was an automated message, "The comm channel you are attempting to reach has been deactivated by the user. Please try a different number or hang up. We apologize for any inconvenience-"_

_The comlink shattered against the wall of the Jedi Enclave before the message could play through. Xana watched with steely eyes as the metal shards blew away in the wind.

* * *

_

And of course, there was the joy of the excessive reading assignments she still had to do when she came back. Just one problem – she'd never fully learned Galactic Basic. She didn't know who she wanted to kick more, Splicer for making that blasted translation program non-compatible with datapads, or herself for never asking him to teach her to read and write.

* * *

"_Okay, there's an E, and there's an I. Jedi. I, S, T, O R... that word must be history. That one's 'the'. Two words, with an A, R, and N. I'm gonna take a guess and say this is about that Exar Kun guy Master Zhar was telling me about yesterday."_

_Xana ignored the loud whispers and giggles that were directed her way as she sat in the shadows with her datapad, talking aloud to herself. She felt more out of place than usual, not to mention, well, stupid. After all, what seventeen year old could only muster up the reading skills of a toddler? Earlier that day she'd had to ask a fragging _youngling_ what a word in her datapad was. The child couldn't have been more than five. _

_Tears stung at her eyes as she whispered sarcastically to herself. "Hey, nice work. At least you got the freakin' subtitle read in under a half hour. Only...", she scanned the datapad, "twenty-four more pages to go. Joy."

* * *

_

As she looked back on her time in the enclave, she could only recall one bright spot of the day. The several hours she spent honing her Force powers and combat abilities. Yep, if she ever got out of this mess with her mentality intact, she'd definitely want to be a Jedi Guardian. But, alas, even that was taken away from her.

-2-

_Her face puckered into a look of intense concentration as she sat cross-legged in the dark room. The datapad lay in front of her, its' screen casting a light glow over her torso and head. She pushed her mental abilities so hard it almost hurt, focusing on getting a clumsy grip on the object._

_It floated a few inches. In the thrill of victory and dawning knowledge, Xana nearly let it fall. With a quick jerk of her head, she secured the datapad in her invisible hold again and tried to direct it into her hands. She stretched out her palm to receive it, but in doing so broke the concentration momentarily. Startled, she just barely managed to catch the datapad before it shattered on the ground._

_Zhar nodded approvingly. "You are making steady progress. Well done, my padawan." _

_Xana beamed at him. Out of all the people in this enclave, here was the one guy she could definitely see herself taking a shine to. Mainly because he was the only one who ever actually appreciated her efforts, but she was glad to be his padawan nonetheless. _

"_Come, let us go to the training rooms. Padawan Bastila is probably waiting for you already."_

_Xana sighed and exited through the door her master held open for her. When she entered the dueling chamber and picked up her training vibroblade, her gaze locked onto Bastila with barely-masked annoyance._

_On Taris, at least Carth, Talon, and Mission had complimented her heavily on her natural skills with melee combat. She became more confident with her weapon until it seemed even to her that she' d been born with a sword in her hand. Her grace and talent when fighting simply flowed forth. _

_The first time she'd dueled Bastila, she had gone in assured that she would show these arrogant Padawans that she did indeed have some worth as a Jedi. But she didn't know how to use the Force to amplify agility and strength while fighting. Bastila did, and the older woman ended up knocking her flat on her back more than a few times. It wasn't long until a small crowd had gathered around them. Then the jeering and booing started. _

_Now, a group of Padawans already surrounded the dueling ring and were gazing at her with mirth and amusement written all over their faces. Xana settled into a strong defensive stance and waited for Bastila to make the first move. The other Padawan came rushing at her and Xana feinted to the right before twirling to the left and coming down hard on Bastila's vibroblade. Determination and adrenaline pounded through her veins as she broke the lock the swords were in and came flurrying at Bastila with a series of powerful diagonal strikes. _

_Xana was just tired of it all-the facades, the rules, the taunting. She was frustrated, hurt, and angry - so very angry. So she poured all of it into her punishing blows, letting the exhilaration of combat training become her release. So determined to win was she, that when she found her sword locked with Bastila's again, she didn't hesitate to ram the hilt down onto the other Padawan's hands. She elicited a surprised cry and during the moment of distraction that followed, Xana took advantage of her opponent's weakened stance and roughly kicked Bastila's legs out from under her. She went sprawling to the ground and Xana pointed her vibroblade at her in triumph._

_When she looked up, however, the other Padawans were not applauding but rather glaring at her. Master Zhar came over, running past Xana to help Bastila up. Xana's wild grin fell, and she asked incredulously, "What? You all wanted me to beat her and I did!"_

_Zhar finished doing a Force heal on Bastila and turned to face Xana. Disappointment was etched all over his face. "Padawan, you used anger and frustration to best your opponent. That is the way of the dark side. Now look at what has happened. Padawan Bastila's knuckles were damaged and one of her kneecaps was sprained during the duel." _

_Xana looked over Zhar's shoulder to her bond-sister, who looked composed as ever but was gazing at her with eyes filled with sadness. _

"_I was just...I didn't mean to-"_

"_Clearly the padawan needs more control over her emotions before she can progress further with her combat training." Xana spun around to see Masters Vrook and Vandar standing in the entryway to the dueling chamber. _

_Vandar added, "Yes, I do believe a few more hours of meditation and studying would do her some good."_

_Vrook continued, "Then it's settled. You will now spend one-half of your combat classes reflecting on your mistake today, until we deem it suitable for you to continue as planned."_

"_No!"_

"_Dismissed, padawan." Zhar's tone of finality shut Xana up and sent her running into the main hall._

That had only been this past afternoon. Now the sun was setting, the soothing amber shadows only promising another day of failure and ridicule once they faded. Xana shoved away her tray and slammed her hands down on the table. Enough was enough. She was getting out.

She stormed down the hall and toward the docking bay. As she rounded the final corner, however, she unexpectedly smacked right into Bastila. The older Padawan seemed to be on the verge of a lecture about awareness, but softened as soon as she saw the strange mix of pure rage and exhaustion on Xana's face.

"Padawan Dakari – Xana – what is the matter? I can sense your tiredness through our bond...have you even eaten or slept today?"

"Why would it matter to you?", Xana snapped, "The only reason I'm in this mess in the first place is because _you_ just needed to be the prodigal student, the one to capture the vaunted Future Hope of The Republic and deliver her to the Jedi Council. You don't care about my comfort or my wishes, all you really care about is your own fragging facade!"

"I don't understand-"

"Let me spell it out for you then. Every day here has been pure misery for me- I can't seem to do or say anything right. At all. Pretty much everyone except for Canderous, T3, and Mission has a vendetta against me. My life revolves around constant studying or 'disciplinary action'. I only want nothing more than freedom, simple freedom. But now even that is denied me because of _you!_ Got it now?"

Bastila looked genuinely hurt and placed a comforting hand on Xana's shoulder. "Xana, please believe me when I say that I was only acting in yours and the Republic's best interests. You have a great potential that could be used to end this war once and for all, saving billions of lives! Isn't that what you want?"

Xana looked sullenly at the ground. "I don't even know anymore. At this rate the war'll be over by the time I get out of here. And it's not like you or anyone else is making it any easier for me. Just – get out of my way. I've got things to do."

Bastila nodded sadly and stepped aside. "If you ever need to talk, Xana, I'm always here."

Xana just strode past. She had no intention of talking to Bastila – not now, not ever. Every word she spoke would probably be reported to the Council anyway. But then again, it's not like she planned on sticking around to talk anyway.

-3-

Xana ran up the Ebon Hawk's ramp and sped into the starboard cabin. Adrenaline pulsing, she scrambled to gather together a few changes of clothes, her hacking equipment, and whatever toiletries and weapons would still fit in her field pack. She whipped out a datapad and slowly typed in a simple message.

_I'm sorry._

She then changed into her jumpsuit and shouldered her pack.

Looking around the room one last time, Xana picked up her Jedi robes, vehemently tore them to shreds, and threw the mass of brown rags against the wall. Then she lovingly ran a hand over her guitar one last time and set it on Mission's bunk.

Five or ten minutes had elapsed by now. The crew would be returning for dinner any moment. She pocketed one of the scraps from her Jedi robe and sneaked through the enclave, being careful not to be seen on her way out. The front courtyard was empty. It was only a short run to the swoop bike Xana had been detailing by the Enclave's fountain.

_Pew. Pewpewpew. _

Xana jumped, startled. Much to her surprise and dismay, on the right side of the courtyard stood none other than Talon, absentmindedly practicing his aim on a row of cans stacked on the railing. She facepalmed. So much for her brilliant plan – there was no way she'd make a clean getaway with him standing there.

She mused silently for a moment. _You know, if this was a fairytale I'd mount my bike gallantly, and he'd probably see me at the last moment and come running over spouting heartfelt, poetic apologies, begging me not to go_...

_But fairytales never happen_, she reminded herself harshly. True enough, Talon remained silent and continued to ignore her. No, she'd have to settle things with him an entirely different way.

Thinking quickly, Xana formed a rudimentary plan in her mind. She wheeled the swoop bike over to the courtyard's entrance and pretended to polish it. Sensing Talon's agitation and impatience spike up, she continued the silent stalemate, mentally taunting him to be the first to speak.

"I know you're back there." He continued to blast away the cans.

"Yeah? And?"

"Could you leave? I'm trying to practice here."

"It's a free galaxy. I can polish my bike here if I want to."

"But you aren't. You want to stand there long enough I'll get impatient and talk to you."

Xana smirked. "Smart. Okay, you got me. I just wanted to come and ask if you wanted to apologize yet."

Her tone was smooth and cocky with an undercurrent of something he couldn't place. It set him on edge.

"Why should I?"

"Because you'll probably regret it if you don't."

He swiveled around to face her. She was now standing only a few feet away. "Is that a threat, Dakari?"

"Maybe, maybe not. I'm just telling the truth. So are you going to or not?"

"No."

"You sure? Last offer."

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure."

She shrugged. "Okay, it's your choice. Might as well do this then."

Then, unexpectedly, she pulled him in for a hug. She slid one arm around his neck and gripped his shoulder with her right hand. She pushed her feelings of guilt down, deciding instead to just enjoy the moment while it lasted. Her eyes drooped as she buried her face in his drexl leather jacket.

His common sense was screaming at him to get away, that this was the same girl who had struck him down in more ways than one just a short time ago. Yet, he strangely couldn't bring himself to give up his trust for her. Slowly, he wrapped his arms around her and closed his eyes. For a minute they just stood there, blushing ever so slightly and letting the wind whip around them. At first, all he could concentrate on were the butterflies in his stomach when she gently slid her hand up to where his shoulder met his neck.

A moment later, his eyes shot open in horror-struck realization. It was too late, though. She pushed down hard on the pressure point and firmly caught him as he fell unconscious in her arms. Propping him up against the courtyard wall to make it look like he was simply taking a nap, she slipped her datapad into his hand and cast one last look back at him.

"Here's looking at you, kid", she murmured.

Xana swung onto the swoop bike and rode away. She never looked back.

* * *

**AN: And there goes my first attempt at writing fluff - well, angsty fluff. So how'd I do? But enough with all these reflective emotional scenes, time to up the action factor! **

**And soon I'll be putting up links to the chapter illustrations in my profile. One for this chapter, and one for the last two. I drew that flashback of Xana getting the commlink from Splicer. Speaking of which, oooh a little more of her past is uncovered and a new character is revealed...are you all sure that Talon is the OC she falls for in the end? ;) Review please, constructive criticism isn't required but greatly appreciated!**


	9. The Chase Is On

Chapter 9: The Chase Is On

Soundtrack:

Speeder chase – Step To Me by Thousand Foot Krutch (-1-)

Attack! - Fading by Decyfer Down (-2-)

* * *

TIME: 1000 HOURS. LOCATION: DANTOOINE PLAINS

* * *

The wind whipped past Xana's face and through her hair as she sped down the plains of Dantooine. She stretched her arms out like an eagle, letting out a joyous laugh for the hundredth time that day. This was like flying!

A pack of kath hounds was running about ten meters to her left. Xana leaned down close to the chassis of her swoop, gunning the throttle and drifting left until she was neck-at-neck with the herd's leader. The large canine only spared a cursory glance at her, seeming to smirk for a moment before shifting its' focus back to its' running.

Xana didn't even know where the next spaceport was or how she was gonna get there, all that mattered now was the unbridled freedom that coursed through her very being. She'd bought enough fuel from the last farming village to last her a good week at this pace.

However, it had been nearly fifteen hours since she had made her escape from the Jedi Enclave, and she was beginning to feel exhaustion creeping in. Looking around at the gushing rapids that cut through the landscape, the snow-capped mountains in the distance, and the midday sun blaring overhead, she surmised that she'd put at least several thousand klicks between herself and the enclave. Slowing her overheating bike to rest near a rocky outcropping, she gazed apprehensively at the direction she'd came from.

Pounding footsteps sounded from the top of the outcropping. Xana barely had time to whip out her holdout blaster before the kath hound sprang at her. Moments later, it fell to the ground at her feet.

Her stomach growled, reminding her of the fact she'd forgotten to bring any rations for the trip. She noticed a nearby biba tree had some dry branches that would be perfect for a campfire...

Her gaze flickered back to the fresh kill, to the wood, to her blaster. Forget danger – it was lunchtime.

* * *

TIME: 0700 HOURS. LOCATION: JEDI ENCLAVE.

* * *

Talon rolled over, squinting against the harsh morning light.

"Where am I?", he moaned groggily. He was laying on something cold and hard, surrounded by the sound of birds chirping, and there was this unexplainable, horrible crick in his neck. All he could recall was last night's target practice and, strangely enough, the smell of lavender and ocean breeze.

He slowly got up, every joint in his body protesting as he did so. Something metallic and shiny fell to the ground and he picked it up. It was a datapad. Powering it on, he found it contained one saved file.

_I'm sorry._

His eyes opened wide in realization. Several settlers and Jedi were already staring at him curiously, but he ignored them and ran full-speed into the enclave.

Pushing random Padawans and Knights out of the way, he sprinted to the Council chambers and burst in.

Bastila and the Jedi Council looked up from their discussion. Vrook's mouth was turned down in annoyance but the rest had concern written all over their faces.

"Come in, young one. What is the matter?", Zhar asked kindly.

"Xana's gone AWOL!"

"Are you sure? When did this happen?", asked Bastila.

"Last night, around 1900 hours local time. I was practicing my aim outside the enclave. She brought out her swoop bike, started to carry on a conversation with me, then knocked me out cold. When I woke up this morning in the courtyard I found this datapad containing a short message from her. It simply reads, 'I'm sorry.'"

Vrook narrowed his eyes at Talon. "And just how did she manage to incapacitate a fully trained and armed Republic soldier? To avoid suspicion, I would presume she went unarmed."

Talon blushed slightly. "She _was_ unarmed...though the specifics of how she incapacitated me aren't important. What is important is that she's gained a lot of ground and the further we let her get, the harder it's going to be to find her."

Vandar nodded in agreement. "Send out a transmission to the nearby farms. Requisition all available vehicles and distribute holos of Padawan Dakari so others can identify her. Padawan Bastila will lead the search effort. Hopefully their Force bond will allow us to track her down. Hurry. We must not let her escape."

* * *

TIME: 1900 HOURS. LOCATION: DANTOOINE PLAINS.

* * *

Stretching lazily, Xana yawned and looked around her meager camp. The sun was already setting and the temperature had started to drop – this was not good. After she'd eaten and stored the leftover venison, she'd slept away pretty much the whole afternoon .Especially with rocky terrain ahead and an abundance of nocturnal wildlife, traveling all night and sleeping all day meant slower going and a higher possibility of being captured.

Xana wanted to smack herself as she mounted her swoop bike and let it warm up. She couldn't afford to be this sloppy, especially when still in such close distance to the enclave.

-1-

Suddenly, her danger senses spiked. Her eyes narrowed and scanned the terrain slowly.

A blip appeared behind her on her bike's HUD and she gunned the throttle, taking off just as a heavily-modded speederbike catapaulted off of the outcropping above her. She looked back and, lo and behold, a blond-haired Jedi Padawan was in hot pursuit. The kid couldn't have been more than a year older than her.

_This is the best they can throw at me?Now, they pay for their underestimation._

Xana spotted a field of boulders coming up around a bend. There was a V-shaped opening between two pillars that looked barely big enough for their bikes to go through. _Perfect._

She turned toward the pillars and accelerated to top-speed. Hesitatingly, the Padawan did the same. Just as she was about to pass through, she leaned back and swung her bike in a wide arc, turning around and speeding off in the opposite direction. The Padawan didn't have time to brake and his vehicle was lodged in between the pillars.

Xana punched the air and laughed, "This is _way_ too easy!"

Something flashed in her peripheral vision and she looked around to see a dark-haired female Knight coming up on her right in a sleek landspeeder. Once again, she pushed the throttle to the maximum and soon left her in the dust.

Her instrument panel started flashing and she was forced to lay off the accelerator lest her engine overload. The Knight came up again on her scanner, rapidly closing the distance between them. Rolling her eyes, Xana dodged right into a thick field of biba trees, weaving her bike around the trunks with lightning reflexes.

A quick glance at her HUD displayed the Knight slowly but steadily following. Noticing that the Knight seemed to be mirroring her actions, she swerved through narrower and narrower openings, changing direction so fast she nearly wrecked her swoop bike a couple times. Finally, the trees gave way to open plains. Her HUD was clear. She smirked wildly.

Victory was sweet.

* * *

Talon and Carth's speeder was perched at the top of a cliff perpendicular to the flat terrain. Carth sat at the controls while Talon scoped out the surroundings with a pair of binoculars.

Carth's commlink beeped and Bastila's voice rang clear through the speeder. "Target was not apprehended. She's headed in your direction – stay alert. We'll try to cut her off at the next river crossing. Just keep her occupied for the time being."

Right on cue, a black blur zipped through the grasses below them and Carth took the speeder along the edge of the cliff. Talon reached into the back and attached a tri-light scope to his favorite sniper rifle. He cocked it roughly and nodded to Carth, giving the all-clear signal.

Without a moment's hesitation, Carth jerked the controls sharply to the left, taking the speeder down the steep incline and placing them right behind Xana. Her expression when she turned around was priceless – shock and disbelief mixed in with amusement, anger, and a little bit of her trademark 'Oh, frag' face. Talon just waved at her and aimed for the back thruster of her swoop bike.

Xana narrowed her eyes and threw her bike into a serpentine motion. The shot barely nicked the corner of her seat. Glancing around wildly, she spotted a ravine nearby that would be perfect to lose them in. Another shot grazed her bike, this time scoring out the black and purple pinstripe decal on the side of the chassis.

She screamed, "'That the best you got, snipertard?"

Talon shouted in reply, "Nope, I was going easy on ya that time. But since you asked so nicely..."

A blaster bolt pierced her back bumper and shot a hole in her coolant tank. She glared back at him. He just smiled and shrugged.

"Oh yeah? Let's see how well you shoot in _here_!"

Xana turned her bike in to the ravine. Meter-high inclines surrounded her on every side and the place was so overgrown with biba trees and scattered boulders that it was a challenge even for her to stay intact. She ploughed through bushes, branches, and moss, narrowly skirting gigantic boulders that seemed to pop out of nowhere. When she dared glance down at her HUD again, to her surprise it showed Carth easily keeping up behind her.

Her eyes widened when she saw the ravine close off in a dead end. Great - now she was trapped. She scanned the walls of the ravine and saw a hiking trail carved into the side, just barely wide enough for a person to scrabble up there. She smiled deviously, slowing down ever so slightly as she approached the end of the ravine.

Sure enough, the guys' landspeeder slowed down as well. She played along, acting the part of the defeated refugee...until the land cleared out in that final stretch to the hiking trail. She gunned the accelerator as hard as physically possible, shifting her weight to the back of the bike in anticipation of the jump.

She could feel Talon and Carth's surprise ripple through the Force as she skidded up along the wall and flew into the air several meters. Fear and shock were added to the equation when she did a 360-degree spin mid-air, pulled a training saber from her belt, and threw it at their speeder. The green blade pierced straight through the hood at the same moment Xana neatly landed her bike on the edge of the ravine.

Talon and Carth scrambled to exit the smoking vehicle. They both glared up at her with a mix of contempt and awe. Xana just laughed and shouted, "Better luck next time, boys!"

Sensing a feeling of danger spike up again, Xana didn't hesitate to swing her bike back around and continue on her way without another word.

_Men are all the same – overly confident in their abilities yet easily tricked_, she thought. _This is why I don't tie myself down. Now it can be just the way it's supposed to be again. Me, myself, and I.

* * *

_

-2-

TIME: 2000 HOURS.

The next bridge was coming up – and so was the 2500 klick mark. Still, it seemed like her feeling of impending doom had only been growing stronger the farther she got from the Enclave.

The nagging guilt in the pit of her gut wasn't doing much to help, either. Despite the strength and endurance she had showed the past few days, she still felt inexplicably weak for leaving behind what would have been an amazing destiny. She had made her stand, but in doing so, she had proven that Jedi training truly had been too much for her.

_Can I _never_ win?_

Caught up in her frustration and growing dread, Xana didn't notice that she had been accelerating for far too long. Her engine was critically overheated. The hood of her swoop bike began to smoke and she abruptly pulled it to a stop just by the side of the bridge.

Dismounting and kicking the vehicle exasperatedly, she growled, "Hurry up and cool down, you blasted piece of junk! Those fragging Jedi could still catch up at any moment!"

All of a sudden, the dread that had been humming in the back of her mind reached a crescendo of panic and fear. She whipped out her vibroblade with her right hand and her hold-out blaster with the other.

Nothing was visible save for the rolling grasses and a few outlying boulders.

Xana sensed movement on both sides and she barely turned in time to catch two shadows skulking low to the ground. They moved similar to kath hounds or a nocturnal predator. Something was off, though. The beings were too well-masked in the Force. Rapidly, they came towards her and she braced for attack.

None came.

Instead, the glow of two azure lightsabers lit up the night in front of her. Before her stood none other than Masters Zhar and Vrook.

Vrook barked, "That's far enough, Padawan. Give up without a fight and we shall return you to the Enclave peacefully. However, if you insist on attacking us you will be branded a traitor of the Jedi Order and the Republic."

Sensing two similar shadows approaching from behind, she warily backed up onto the bridge, weapon still brandished.

Two more lightsabers could be heard igniting behind her. Bastila and Dorak, no doubt.

Xana gritted her teeth. She was severely outgunned and outnumbered. There were two clear choices in this situation – surrender or go down fighting.

And Xana Dakari never went down without a fight.

Holstering her vibroblade, she turned and took a running jump into the rapids beneath her. She fought to keep the wind from being knocked out of her as the cold water engulfed her and quickly carried her away. All sense of direction and time seemed to slow while she tumbled aimlessly in the gripping current. She vaguely felt her holdout blaster being torn from her cold-numbed hand.

Before she could even think, pain erupted in her side and she opened her mouth in an attempt to scream. Water rushed in and she clawed desperately at the water to re-surface and breathe. As she broke the surface, panting and heaving, she was dismayed to find out she'd only been carried about a hundred meters from the bridge. Now the Jedi had a lock on her location!

_Oh, this was by far the stupidest thing I've ever done. Now I'm twice weaponless and dead in the water!_

Two more blows struck her side and the edges of her vision began to go black. Her arms splashed around frantically in a halfhearted attempt to remain afloat. It was no use. Water filled her mouth again and she gazed despondently at the day's last rivulets of sunlight right before she slipped under. She could barely sense the four Jedi running toward where she'd disappeared.

She wasn't going to delude herself; they were too far away to make it.

The last thing she saw as she lost consciousness was the murky depths of the river claiming her once more.

* * *

**A/N: Okay, I just want to apologize for the last chapter. It wasn't that bad, but I could have definitely done better as far as length and finesse went. I just wasn't 'feeling it' when it came to writing those parts of the story, got nervous when it hit 2 weeks without nothing, and rushed it. And in the process almost killed my fic. If any of you are still reading, I promise to write better in the future. **

**And on a random note: hope you all caught that Mical cameo I included in there!**

**Review please!**

**~rockforthecross74**


	10. Taking Sides

Chapter 10 – Taking Sides

Soundtrack:

Talon's POV – Comatose by Skillet (-1-)

Return to the Enclave – Decode by Paramore (-2-)

Admitting defeat – The Love We Had Before by Fireflight (-3-)

* * *

Talon clambered out of the speeder, eyes watering from the smoke that filled the cab. Carth was already standing by the hood and glaring daggers at Xana. He squinted up at her, trying to convey the utter hurt and confusion he was feeling. Had she, his closest comrade and friend, just thrown a _lightsaber_ at them? Did she even know how close to the cab her sword had pierced or did she simply not care?

She let out a loud, ringing laugh and opened her mouth to speak. Talon briefly wondered what she would say – some sort of heartfelt apology that things had to end this way, teary thanks for watching her back and saving her life, a simple acknowledgement that it had been nice fighting with them but now was her time to move on?

"Better luck next time, boys!"

Then she jumped on her swoop bike and sped off. Just like that.

Talon felt numb. After all those weeks of watching each other's backs and confiding in each other, she'd just left them stranded in a ravine in the middle of the Dantooinian plains. The all-too-familiar pain of betrayal stung his heart and his mind clouded over.

-1-

He was finally brought out of his reverie by Carth shouting into the commlink.

"We've lost her! She's taking off towards the west, though we did manage to puncture her coolant tank. Request immediate pickup."

Bastila replied, "Copy that. I'm near your location and should be there in under a minute."

"Acknowledged."

Talon reached into the smoke-filled, superheated speeder and drew out his sniper rifle. All bets were off. Nothing mattered now except completing the mission.

Bastila and Dorak pulled up next to the ravine. Both men scrabbled up the hillside and were seated in a matter of seconds. The Jedi Padawan swung the speeder around, using the Force to increase their speed as they raced across the plains.

Carth spoke up, "What's going on? We're heading in the opposite direction."

"Jedi Masters Vrook and Zhar are trailing her. We are to intercept her on the opposite side of the next river crossing. The plan is to entrap her over a particularly dangerous series of rapids and let the bridge create a natural barrier.", replied Dorak.

Half an hour later, the landspeeder was perched strategically on a hill overlooking the bridge. Right on cue, Xana's swoop bike came riding up, smoking at the hood. On the horizon, Vrook and Zhar could be seen exiting their own speeder and running towards her.

All four jumped out of their landspeeder, readying their respective weapons. Bastila called softly over her shoulder, "Stay behind us. This could get dangerous."

Talon watched detachedly as Xana backed up onto the bridge, weapons drawn at the four Jedi who had their lightsabers trained on her. Everything seemed almost surreal. How did things even manage to deteriorate this badly? Why was this even happening? It felt like a twisted-up nightmare.

Now Vrook was warning Xana that if she struck out, she would become an enemy of the Jedi Order and the Republic. Imagine that...the girl that had been his paragon of defending truth and justice, having to choose between freedom and innocence. Unfathomable.

He was shocked back to reality as he watched her turn and dive into the roiling water.

"NO!" Talon screamed, but he was unheard by the five adults that had now crowded onto the bridge.

"How was this even allowed to happen?" Vrook bellowed.

"The plan didn't exactly allow for suicidal tendencies!" Zhar shot back.

"Well then, why did nobody think of that, _oh wise masters!_" Bastila snapped.

All the adults then began clamoring amongst themselves.

"STOP!" Talon screamed, "Someone Force-pull that blaster out of her hand, now!"

Bastila spun around and concentrated, holding out her hand. Xana's hold-out blaster zoomed out of the water and flew into it. Talon yanked it out of her grasp, switched it to stun, and, mentally tracing the trajectory of the spot it had come from, fired a few bolts down-river. If he could just stun her, perhaps the Jedi could still use the Force to pull her out of the water.

A few tense moments passed before Xana's head emerged among the crashing surf. Talon ran off the bridge and began sprinting down the bank of the river, his military training allowing him to get within a hundred meters of the drowning escapee.

Talon pulled out his left pistol, using it for balance and reference as he drew it up against his chest. He lined up Xana's hold-out blaster with the other, firing two more stun bolts that hit her directly in the stomach. She began to flounder and sink.

In a moment of sheer horror, he realized his fatal mistake. The Knights that had now began to Force-run toward them were still more than fifty meters away, and she was about to lose unconsciousness. Once she disappeared again...she'd be a goner.

Talon shed his jacket and dropped his pistols to the ground, diving headfirst into the river. Trying not to scream from the sheer coldness of the water, he opened his eyes slowly. He could just barely make out a black blur limply drifting toward the riverbed. He swam towards Xana as hard as he could, though it was slow going with his heavy combat boots.

He was nearly out of air himself when he managed to grab her unconscious form around the waist. However, when he tried to swim back to the surface, he found he couldn't go anywhere with her weight dragging him down. He struggled and strained against the water, but they only rose a few inches. The surface was more than ten feet away.

Talon's lungs began to ache and he realized that maybe this hadn't been such a good idea after all. Just before desperation set in, he felt an invisible hold form around him and Xana, and they began to rise. When they finally broke surface, he was left gasping for air so hard it hurt.

They were deposited roughly on the riverbank. Talon still had his arms around his unconscious friend. He was too pained and preoccupied with regaining his breath to remember to let go. He buried his face in her hair, watching as a mud puddle slowly formed beneath them.

Before he knew it, Zhar had pushed his arms away and began performing CPR. Xana jerked slightly with each chest compression, but refused to cough up water. Talon propped himself up weakly with his forearms, watching the situation unfold worriedly. Even after everything Xana had done and said to him, he was still scared to death at the prospect of losing her now. _Why?_

Finally she rolled onto her stomach and began coughing and heaving. It seemed like an eternity before she finished and collapsed in the mud. Her eyes opened weakly, fixing directly on Talon. It might have been his wishful thinking, but it seemed as if her lips quirked into the slightest of smiles before she lost consciousness again. He didn't have time to think about it. A moment later, he passed out right next to her.

* * *

Harsh sunlight stung Xana's eyes when she finally came to. Groaning softly, she turned away from the glare and buried her face into what felt and smelled like plush bantha leather. She felt movement beneath her and realized she must be in someone's landspeeder, well on her way back to the Jedi Enclave.

The thought was not welcoming, nor was the plethora of unpleasant sensations that assaulted her right then. Motion sickness, dizziness, fatigue, strained muscles, and the sting of stun-bolt burns all came barraging down on her senses at the same time. She whimpered slightly, clenching her jaw and curling into a ball. Just that slightest movement only worsened it, causing her to jerk, turn over, and let out a slightly louder whine at the resulting reaction.

She cracked an eye open. Carth was driving, stonily staring ahead, and refusing to acknowledge her presence. Talon, on the other hand, was looking over his shoulder at her. He hefted a leg over the front seat and easily plopped down next to where Xana was sprawled out.

"Why'd you do it?", she croaked. Her throat felt dry and cottony, and she had to struggle to choke out that one question.

"I honestly don't know." he sighed. Talon didn't know if she referred to the speeder chase, the stun bolts, or rescuing her. Then again, did it really matter?

Xana nodded in acknowledgment, clenching her jaw shut. She felt too sick to attempt speaking again.

"Maybe I just wanted to do the right thing, you know? When I came after you, I was just following orders. I felt betrayed, in a way, so I figured if I don't mean that much to you, then...", he paused awkwardly.

"Why shouldn't you think the same about me?" she finished for him. Her throat protested heavily and she clamped her mouth shut again.

"Yes and no. When you threw that lightsaber at our speeder, it became impersonal. Capturing you was the mission, just another objective I had to complete. But when you plunged into that river and sank – both times – I realized that just because I'd been one-upped doesn't mean I have to do the same to others. I had a responsibility for my own choices, and I couldn't let you die, accident or no, by my hands."

"Glad to know my life's just a bonus card for your conscience."

"Xana, you know I didn't mean it like that."

"Leave me alone. You've done enough." She turned away from him and closed her eyes. A few moments later, she heard him lean his head against the transparisteel window and do the same.

Carth spoke to her for the first time since her escape; his voice sounded harsh and hollow even to her dazed mind.

"You should probably show him a little more respect, Xana. I don't know if you're aware of the fact, but he nearly _died_ to get you out of that river."

Xana's tense annoyance bubbled over and she snapped, "Yeah? Well I don't know if you're aware of the fact that it's his fault I nearly drowned in the first place! You think he stunned me for the greater good, for truth and justice? He stunned me because it was an order from an organization who's holding me against my will! I don't owe him anything, least of all my respect!"

"He wouldn't have had to stun you if you hadn't jumped in that river like a fool!"

"What choice did I have, really? It was either giving up my freedom or becoming an enemy of the Republic – so I made my own option. I would've harmlessly drifted downstream if he hadn't tried to turn me into Swiss cheese! Yeah, some freedom-fighter paragons you two are!"

Carth growled, "You have no idea what we both gave up for the Republic, and if you dare downplay our service like that again, I swear I'll-"

"You'll do _what_?", Xana challenged, roughly landing a kick into the back of his seat. Her tired muscles ached in protest but she smirked broadly when he jerked forward into the controls. Carth brought the speeder to a halt and angrily swiveled around in his seat. His face was bright red.

He bellowed, "YOU KNOW WHAT? I-"

"Carth!" Talon pleaded, "Just stop, okay? Please, it's not worth it." He laid a hand on the older man's arm, mainly to keep him from striking out against the enraged teenager. Carth's eyes darted to the young man who was practically his son, and his anger seemed to dissolve instantaneously as he took in Talon's pained expression. Falling silent, he turned back around and kept driving.

Talon turned back to Xana, hopefulness overtaking his mind. Maybe his standing up for her would elicit some forgiveness?

She'd just turned back over and buried her face in the seat again.

* * *

-2-

Xana awoke again when the speeder drew to a halt. Sitting up, she looked out the window and saw that they were in the middle of the Enclave's courtyard. Settlers and curious Padawans formed a small crowd around all the entrances and niches. Most were whispering amongst themselves, and some even had holorecorders. Others just stared in silence, shocked that something this extraordinary had happened on the sleepy little planet of Dantooine.

_All these people here to see the runaway Padawan brought in like some kind of dangerous renegade. Is it me, or is this whole planet's culture steeped in pretentions?_, she mused bitterly. The speeder door was opened and Talon gently nudged her to get out. She absentmindedly ran a hand over her hair – it had dried into a mass of tiny waves while she slept, and one side was sticking up slightly. _Joy. Now the whole 'mental loon' stereotype is complete._

She slid out of her seat, still blinking away the remnants of sleep. Talon and Carth each grabbed one of her arms and they led her down the slow procession to the Enclave's entrance. The comments and whisperings grew in volume; holorecorders began to flash all around her. It was like a paparazzi of shame.

Xana hung her head, smiling as the dark waves tumbled around her face and obscured it from view. They'd wanted to know who had caused this whole stir, they wanted to talk and gossip about her? Well then, she wouldn't give them the satisfaction of knowing who she was.

A Knight, one she recognized from her first day at the Enclave, shouted out, "I suppose not _everyone_ can handle the rigors of Jedi training! Perhaps being hauled out of harm's way like a wet kitten shall teach you to apply yourself, Padawan!" Xana stopped in her tracks, glaring acidly. In a millisecond, she'd managed to break free and was lunging for her. The young woman let out a cry of surprise as she was roughly tackled to the ground, arms pinned behind her in an Echani-style hold.

"That's enough!" Carth shouted. He and Talon hauled her to her feet and propelled her into the Enclave entrance before she could make another scene. The halls were eerily quiet. Padawans and Knights parted out of their way, watching them with both curiosity and disapproval. When they reached the center, they saw Mission and Canderous sitting on a bench next to the gardens. Carth stopped in front of them, nudging Xana in an attempt to get her to explain her actions. Mission exploded in a burst of questions, "Where were you? Why'd you leave? How come you didn't tell me? I would've gone with you in a heartbeat!"

Xana hung her head, ashamed. She didn't deserve Mission's loyalty after she'd broken her promise so willingly. Did Mission even realize that she'd planned on leaving for good?

Her question was answered when the Twi'lek's sapphire eyes filled with tears. "Were you ever going to come back for me and Big Z?"

Xana sighed and closed her eyes. "Not every promise can be kept, Mission."

"But you said...you said you'd be there for me! That Big Z and I had a place with you! We've got nowhere else to go!"

"I hope one day you can forgive me."

Mission was on the verge of an emotional outburst when Canderous gripped her arm gently and pulled her back down onto the bench. Blue eyes met steely grey ones and the old Mandalorian shook his head firmly at her. The look on his face was not one of condescension or indifference, but rather one of patronly concern. Xana wrenched free of her captors and strode toward the Council chambers, unable to look on any further.

The moment the Jedi Council laid eyes on her, tension flooded the room so thickly even the air felt heavier. Vandar was the first to break the silence.

"Padawan Bastila, Captain Onasi, Lieutenant Averra, you are excused. I would prefer that the Council spoke with Miss Dakari alone."

All three obligingly left the room. After they left, Vandar continued, "It has come to my attention that you are so displeased with your time here that you have resorted to, let us say, extreme measures, in your attempts to escape."

"Dang right, I did."

"Normally, if a Padawan chooses to leave the Order, we allow them to do so. But yours is a special case that we cannot allow to go unchecked. However, you have shown that you have both the determination and the ability to allude us. This leaves us at somewhat of an impasse, no?"

"What are you saying? You wanna negotiate?"

"Vaguely speaking, yes. What is it that you find so unpleasant about the Jedi order? And what would it take for you to willingly comply with our measures?"

Vrook interrupted, "Now wait a minute! This young woman has displayed one of the most brash, untamed displays of defiance this enclave has seen within its' apprentice ranks, yet you want to negotiate? Discipline must be enforced!"

Vandar shot back, "And how well has discipline worked on this one, hmm? The path most traveled is not always the correct one, Master Vrook."

Xana took this opportunity to speak up, "I want basic human rights – the right to speak my opinion, the right to dress how I want, the right to defend myself - without incurring disciplinary action. I want people to actually care about my wishes instead of trying to force their own on me. I'm not saying, let me go wild, but just a little leeway would be very welcome."

"That is not out of the question. I will consider it; please continue."

"Okay, here's where it gets a little sketchy. If you want me to continue to learn here, I will...for a time. After my training and mission is complete, I don't want to be considered a part of the Jedi Order. Rather, I would prefer to wander the galaxy as a Rogue Jedi. You can call on me for missions anytime but it'll be my choice to accept them or not."

Vrook snapped, "And why do you think we should allow you to do that?"

Zhar added, "Yes, padawan, Vrook has a point. Judging from your previous actions, it is not entirely unthinkable to assume you'd fall to the dark side from sheer impulsiveness alone."

"I don't expect you guys to fully understand this, but I'm a wanderer, okay? I can't stay here, I can't do this whole order and regimen thing. If I try, I just know that feeling of being caged and manipulated is what will ultimately drive me to the dark side. But I am aware of my duty, and will submit myself to your teachings for the time being. So do we have a deal?"

Vandar nodded. "So be it, Padawan. But as an added measure, if we are to accept this agreement, I will assign someone to watch over you." He opened the door with the Force and motioned for a figure to come in.

"Since Lieutenant Averra has proven himself as being able to incapacitate you in the event of your escape, he will be your guard."

Both teenagers' jaws dropped and they began to sputter indignant excuses.

Vrook shouted, "SILENCE! Those are our terms. Do you accept them?"

Xana nodded.

* * *

During the deliberations, Bastila paced anxiously in the hallway outside the Council chambers. Talon sat on the floor with his head leaned back against the wall, and Carth stood in the corner, watching the young Jedi fret.

Finally, he couldn't take it any more. He stepped in front of Bastila, holding up a hand to signal her to stop. She looked somewhat annoyed at the intrusion but her tone was prim and polite as usual.

"Yes, Carth?"

"If you don't mind me asking, Bastila, what's bothering you? I've never seen you so worked up since...well, since Taris was bombed."

"It is nothing. Merely...agitation...over the events of the past day."

"I thought capturing Xana was your objective. You've succeeded."

"Yes, but I am worried for her sake. The frustration, pain, and malice I sense from her puts her at a significant danger of falling to the dark side. What's even more distressing is that it is directed toward the Jedi Order...and myself."

"I can't say I understand what you're picking up from her, or the intensity of it, but I'd definitely feel the same way in your position. Still, isn't it the Jedi Council's job to deal with her at the moment?"

"That's another matter entirely. I cannot help but feel some measure of concern towards her, of a sisterly, or perhaps even parental, nature. As you know, Jedi are not supposed to form attachments, and the fact that this one has manifested itself so quietly yet strongly...it frightens me, to say the least. I find myself wanting to reach out to her, to help her – but it appears that she quite clearly despises me."

Carth winced, a thousand flashbacks of arguments with his own son flashing through his head. To love and care for a child, yet have that protection rebuked, was a very painful thing indeed. And he understood only too well. He reached out towards Bastila, to try and offer comfort in some way. She recoiled at the movement and he withdrew, choosing to speak softly instead.

"Just keep showing her that you care. Don't give up on her. One thing I've learned about teenagers is that when they're being most difficult, that's when they need love the most. I remember, this one time my son..." He stopped abruptly, suddenly too choked up to speak any more.

Talon's head had jerked up and he was staring intently at Carth. This had been the first time Carth mentioned his family since he'd first 'adopted' Talon. Bastila was gazing at him softly, blue eyes full of compassion. The grief emanating from him was overwhelming. Just sensing the sheer depths of it made her want to cry.

She pushed away the emotions and replied, "I didn't know you had a family, Carth. Were they on Telos?"

He nodded somberly.

"I see." She struggled for words. 'Please accept my condolences' sounded way too distant and formal, yet she didn't want to be too familiar with him either. "I'm sorry. Thank you very much for the advice, I'll see that it is put to good use."

Bastila wanted to slap herself. Hopefully that last remark hadn't sounded as awkward to him as it had to her. Much to her relief, Carth managed a wry smile.

"No problem, Bastila. I'm happy to help." He added hesitantly, "If...if you want more advice then, um, you know where to find me."

"Of course."

They then went their separate ways, each mentally berating themselves. A very amused Talon was left behind to mull over the conversation. Little did he know that his smugness would be very short-lived.

The Council doors opened and Master Vandar motioned him in.

* * *

"HOW!" Xana stormed into her bunkroom, Talon tentatively following behind. "How the _heck_ could this have happened?"

"What do you mean?"

"All of it! It's just so fragging messed up...and worst of all, now you're beholden to stalk me!"

"Interesting choice of words, but yeah. Believe me, I'm not too thrilled about it either."

Xana shot him a seething glare, but her retort was cut off by a series of hacking coughs. Her nose began to run and her eyes stung a little. She sniffled, "Aw frag, maybe jumping headfirst into an ice-cold river wasn't the best idea after all. We got any meds in this rust bucket?"

Talon rolled his eyes and disappeared into the refresher for a few minutes. He came back out holding a bottle of dark green liquid. Tossing it to Xana, he replied, "It's some kinda kolto-infused cough syrup, I think. Lemme see if I can find a measuring cup or something."

"No need." She took a cursory swig of the stuff, wincing as the bitter taste made its' way down her throat, then smiling at the buzzing warmth that came when it hit her stomach. Talon snatched away the bottle, fixing an exasperated stare on her.

"Don't do that, it's dangerous! What if you actually overdosed and -"

"Relax, snipertard. I only took a small sip, that stuff puts you to sleep pretty fast otherwise. So if you're really into this whole bodyguard deal, find yourself a nice section of floor and get comfortable." Xana snuggled down into her bunk and pulled a paper-bound book from her field pack. Talon looked around curiously. There were no chairs, and he sure as heck wasn't gonna wait this out in one of the bunks. He crossed over to the corner opposite Xana and slid down to the floor.

"Shouldn't you be working on your reading assignments?" he asked. Xana shot him another glare. "Never mind."

A few more minutes passed. Everything was awkwardly silent save for the rustling of pages and the tick of the power couplings. Talon decided to try again.

"So what are you reading?"

"Favorite book. You wouldn't know it."

"Really? What's it called?"

Xana let out an impatient huff and snapped, "Romeo and Juliet by William Shakespeare. Now will you let me read?"

He smiled. Annoying her was as good a way to amuse himself as any. "I thought you were. What's it about?"

"It's a tragedy romance novel, if you must know."

"Huh. Never took you as the kinda girl to read that stuff."

"As a matter of fact, the bottom line of the story is that pettiness and superficiality are ultimately destructive, and that fairytale endings don't come true against all odds. I like it because that's something I can heavily identify with. Do you have any more irritating questions, or can I keep reading now?"

Talon was surprised and a bit ashamed for pushing her so hard. "Yeah, sure. Sorry."

"Uh huh."

-3-

For a while he just sat there and watched her read. A pang of something kept shooting across his heart – it felt like regret and grief mixed in with another emotion he couldn't identify. She'd called him "snipertard" for the first time since their fight, but it had sounded more like an insult without the teasing lilt she usually spoke it with.

The scowling girl angrily flipping through her book wasn't Xana. The Xana he used to know wouldn't take no for an answer, betray her friends, act so recklessly...or would she? Was this a defense reaction to being trapped and coerced, or was it just difficult circumstances bringing out the worst in her? He was surprised to realize just how little he really knew about her. _Who are you, Xana Dakari? Who are you really?_

Slowly, the book dropped from her hands and her head lolled to the side. Talon walked up and stood over her. She was sound asleep.

_Now what?_, he complained to himself. _I'm pretty sure neither Xana nor Mission would appreciate me staying here- maybe Xana will sleep on the couches in the common room? _

He gathered up the pillow and blankets from the spare bunk and arranged them over the crash seats in the common room. Satisfied with his work, he jogged back to the starboard cabin and stopped just short of Xana's bunk. He wasn't sure how to go about this. She'd already warned him – not too gently - to never interrupt her naps, and he doubted she would want to trade her bunk for the crash seats.

Talon stepped forward and bent to scoop her up. She muttered, "Try to carry me and you're a dead man."

Pausing, he chose instead to tug her up from the bunk. "C'mon Xana, you need to sleep somewhere I can see you. I set up a bed in the common room."

"Ugh, leave me alone. I'm sick and tired, literally, so let me take my fragging nap!"

"Just get up and walk there. It won't take a minute."

"No! Now. Let. Me. Sleep!"

"Okay, fine then. You know what, I've had enough of your bantha poodoo. If you're going to be stubborn and hard-headed, be my guest." He then picked her up bridal-style, blanket and all. She squirmed and thrashed in retaliation, so hard that she tumbled out of his arms altogether.

Xana landed on the floor with a resounding _smack_. Talon stood rigid and wide-eyed, arms still frozen where they were. If he'd thought she was angry at him before -

He began to concoct a rudimentary last will and testament in his head. She rose up slowly, dramatically. Her face was bright red with fury and her black rimmed eyes were glaring daggers at him. She raised her hand, preparing to strike at him, but took a deep breath and lowered it again.

"How dare you so much as touch me after what you did! You think you're the victim here – ha! Who was holding that sniper rifle, _Talon_? Who was the one standing on that riverbank when I sank, _Talon_?"

"And who is it that made sure you're standing here now?", he shouted back. "I didn't have to go in there after you! Why should I have? I obviously don't mean anything to you, judging from the way you've treated me since we got here!"

"How can you even say that? You were like, the last real friend I could depend on! And it was _you_ who came after _me_ the day I became a Jedi! If you can recall, that was what started this whole mess in the first place!"

"Now that's just irresponsible; how can you possibly blame your actions on...wait. You ran away because we fought?"

Xana blushed slightly and scowled at him. "Don't flatter yourself. It was more of a phenomenon that started a chain reaction. I ran away because I was trapped here and they were treating me like dirt, trying to force me into a mold I clearly couldn't fill. But yeah, I could've used your help. Just a little."

He just stared back at her, eyebrows raised. She smirked slightly. "That's as close to an apology as you're ever gonna get out of me. Be happy with it."

"The fight didn't impact it, just a little?"

"Oh yes, O mighty snipertard. I might have actually gotten away if your amazing powers of sharpshooting and irritation had been on my side instead of theirs. Happy now?"

"Now this is exactly what I'm talking about! You-"

"Hey, hey. Don't start that. If it's any consolation, there _was_ a nugget of truth in that last statement. Now I'm starting to think I took too many meds after all cause I'm about to fall over backwards – what were you saying before about letting me sleep?"

She started to wobble and sway a little, so he bit back his reply for the meantime, choosing instead to contemplate what she'd referred to as the 'nugget of truth'. He led her into the common room and pointed to the crash seats. "Lay down there."

"Mmmkay, thanks." Xana flopped down onto the plush cushions and snuggled gratefully into the blankets. Right before she dropped off to sleep, she turned over and mumbled, "Hey Talon?"

He was already laying on the sofa in front of the central console, well on his way to slumber too. "What?"

"What happened to us?"

He stayed silent for a while. Right when she was nearly convinced he was already asleep, he replied, "I don't know."

"Kay. Thanks for pulling me out of the river by the way. You know, right before I blacked out, I...I realized I still wanted to live. You know? There were so many things I wanted to do, that I could have done, and the moment I thought I had taken my final breath – it was chilling. And now I've got a second chance."

"No problem. It was my duty. I never abandon my duty or my comrades, ever. Just...make sure you make the most of that second chance, alright?"

"Promise."

And with that, she fell asleep. Tomorrow was a brand new day – she'd make everything right no matter what.

* * *

**AN: Muchas gracias to my new beta reader, writtenrhythm! Ya'll should read her story, One More Time. It's crazy good! And additional thanks to SkilletRox, formerly Revan's Apprentice, for her super kind reviews to the last two chapters!  
**


	11. Of apologies, waterfalls,& Force shields

Chapter 11 (part 1) – Of waterfalls, apologies, and Force shields

Soundtrack:

On the plains – Chemicals Collide by Boys Like Girls (-1-)

Talking with Talon – Wish You Well by Thousand Foot Krutch (-2-)

Swimming – Two is Better than One by Boys Like Girls (-3-)

What does this mean? – Don't Wake Me by Skillet (-4-)

* * *

AN: I dunno if people actually pay attention to the soundtracks, but I definitely advise readers to listen to the second and third. They describe Xana and Talon's situation so well it's scary. Seriously, if you play the swimming soundtrack while reading, I guarantee you will "aww" at the end of it. The first and forth ones are just really, really good songs that describe Xana and Talon's hidden thoughts about each other.

**-update 11/28/10- Fixed some unnecessary wording and made the dialogue on the plains more in-character.**

* * *

The fog in Xana's mind cleared away and she blearily opened her eyes, smiling slightly when she realized her cold was nearly gone. Talon wasn't where he'd been when she fell asleep, but she heard the sonic shower blasting nearby. Xana sighed in relief and buried her face into her pillow. They both needed this little bit of respite. Last night's discussion had been awkward at best, though it was a relative improvement.

She was so tired. Tired of the Enclave, of Dantooine, of the drama and fighting. Especially where Talon was concerned. The guy might have been a good friend, but he was a formidable opponent as well.

Canderous came into the common room, poured himself some caffa, then sat on the sofa Talon had vacated. He fixed an icy glare onto Xana. She raised an eyebrow and pushed her hair out of her face.

"Well good morning to you too. Don't tell me you're mad cause you missed out on me and Kid Republic's slumber party here."

His tone held no mirth or sarcasm this time. "What you did was without honor. You refused to stand for yourself and, worse yet, you abandoned your clan."

"Hey! I got what I wanted from the Council, didn't I? From my perspective, I've won! And what the frag are you talking about anyway, 'my clan'? Last time I checked, 'my clan' consisted of me, myself, and I."

Canderous got up and walked over to her, towering over her as he looked her straight in the eyes. Xana sat up and fixed him with a stubborn stare of her own.

"Have they watched your back?"

"Yes..."

"Do your lives matter to one another?"

_Perhaps not so much now, but they -especially Talon- did go through some pretty extreme stuff for my sake. And I'm still here, so that's gotta count for something_. "Yeah."

"Do they feed you, clothe you, take care of you?"

"To an extent."

"And do you do the same for them?"

"Same answer."

"Would you give your life for them?"

She pondered a moment before replying, "Yes."

Canderous shrugged. "So they're your clan."

"If that isn't the most rudimentary, illogical, culture-based drivel-"

"Clan is not always defined by bloodline. Before you start mouthing off at me again, maybe you should try and let that sink in a moment." And with that, he retrieved his mug and returned to the swoop garage.

Xana ran a hand over her face and plopped back down into the pillow. _Ugh, Mandalorians and their honor_. _He does have a point though..._

Unable to sleep any longer, Xana padded down to the bunkroom to change.

* * *

Dodge left. Down. Jab. Feint. Kick. Block. Repeat.

Xana bobbed up and down in front of the punching bag, locked in the hypnotizing rhythm of her combat exercise. She was clad in a grey tank top and black knee shorts, and sported a well-worn pair of knuckle blades.

_Splicer may have lied to me and ditched me on a backwater planet, but he sure knows how to give one heck of a gift_. Xana smiled as light glinted off of the polished durasteel.

A wave of dizziness overcame her, and she barely got the blade off before bringing her hand to her head. Xana glanced down at the sweat-soaked shirt that now hung off of her like a tent, and arms that used to be lined with baby fat but now looked shockingly slender. Perhaps she should've given more thought to the fact she hadn't eaten in two days; and before then, not much more often.

Talon noticed and grasped her elbow. "That's good for now. We should probably get to the dining hall. You look like you're gonna pass out."

Xana wasn't in the mood to argue. She stepped into the locker room, slipped on a black V-neck shirt, and came back out to join Talon. Together they walked down the series of soothingly elegant halls.

They reached the dining hall, and the usual din of conversation died down to mere murmurs at the sight of them. Bastila was sitting at an empty table. She waved them over, and they hurried to sit across from her.

"Hi..." Xana said.

"Hello." Bastila replied cheerily. She pushed a plate of food towards Xana. "I know we haven't got off to the best start, so I took the liberty of procuring your noon meal for you. It's still warm."

Xana raised her eyebrows and glanced down at the plate. There was some kind of mash and gravy, a few stalk-like vegetables, and buttered dinner rolls. It smelled heavenly. She let a genuine smile break through and picked up her fork.

"Thanks!" Xana exclaimed, before tucking into her food with surprising voracity. Bastila refrained from scolding the girl for her poor table manners, pointedly ignoring the amused stares and whispers directed their way. When Xana finished less than five minutes later, she dragged the back of her hand across her mouth and asked, "So what are the rules concerning my mobility?"

"Yes, I noticed you didn't quite remain in the Council chambers long enough to hear that part. They have decided that you are allowed to leave the premises, though only in the general vicinity and accompanied by your guard."

"Fair enough." Xana looked down at her plate awkwardly before asking, "Hey Bastila?"

"Yes?"

"I'm really sorry for what I said to you before I left. It was really uncalled for, and you did nothing to deserve it. Especially considering what happened yesterday. A certain little birdie told me you were the one to lift us out of the river."

"Your apology is accepted. As for the incident at the river, that was of no concern. I don't know if you are aware of this, but I do care about your wellbeing. I mean, to a proper extent, of course." Bastila huffed in frustration and was hasty to add, "What I am trying to say is – considering the task the Council is about to have us undertake, I would rather we be...friends, rather than enemies."

Xana smiled warmly. "I wouldn't have it any other way. Thanks again for the food. The swoop bike's been returned to the Enclave, right?"

"Yes, it has."

"Nice. I think doing my assignments out on the plains might do me some good. It's high time I took the snipertard on a ride anyway."

Talon cut in, "Dude, I'm right here! You know, you don't have to be rude to me just cause we're stuck together. It's not like any of this is my fault."

-1-

Xana just grabbed him by the wrist and tugged him after her. Picking up her field pack and reading assignments on the way past the training room, she strode out of the enclave and into the courtyard. She practically ran up to her swoop bike and mounted it, grinning as she revved the engines. Talon stood off to the side, staring at her in awkward silence.

Xana patted the seat behind her and drawled, "Well, get on already! What are you waiting for?"

"Don't you have a second bike I can use?"

"No, why?"

"No reason. It's just that I've seen how you ride those things and I don't feel like dying today."

"Dude, quit being such a pansy and get on the fragging bike. You punctured the coolant tank so I've gotta take it easy, lest the engine nearly explode again. Thanks a lot for that, by the way."

Talon fell silent and hesitantly eased himself onto the seat behind her. She rolled her eyes impatiently.

"You planning to hang on or fall off?"

He glanced around confusedly. There was nowhere to hang onto except...oh. These things really were a lot less awkward in holovids. He spent a few moments in indecision, then settled for hanging onto her shoulders.

Talon almost went flying as she gunned the accelerator and smoothly swung the bike around a hill. He gripped her shoulders so tight in response, she yelped and ground the bike to a stop. They both nearly tumbled off this time.

"Hold on the right way, would ya?" she yelled.

"Okay, okay. Sorry." He locked his arms around her waist without a further thought, fighting back the wave of terror when the bike accelerated to several hundred kilometers an hour. "Can we please slow down?"

Xana didn't hear him; the engine was revving too loudly. The weight of his arms felt strange, and she fought to keep from pulling over and dumping him off the bike out of sheer awkwardness. Xana was by no means used to this kind of thing, and she couldn't tell if the butterflies in her stomach came from the fast ride or...no, she wouldn't allow herself to think of it.

She mentally slapped herself. This was her one afternoon of freedom and she wasn't going to spend it thinking about Talon.

She maneuvered the bike onto a large stretch of open hills and tilted her face up to catch the wind. Soon, everything disappeared from consciousness except for her and the humming vehicle beneath her.

"XANA, WATCH OUT!" Talon screamed, pushing her forward and taking control of the handlebars. Xana opened her eyes just in time to see them narrowly avoiding a head-on collision with a horned kath hound. His hands were shaking with fear, crushing her own under their death-grip on the steering apparatus. He steered them over to the nearest biba tree.

Conveniently enough, it overlooked a bridge, waterfall, and riverpool.

"Sorry." Xana mumbled lamely. "I got a little carried away. Do you know where we are, by the way?"

Talon let out a huge sigh of relief and ran his hand through his hair. "For star's sake, Xana! You almost got us killed! And, on top of that, I think we might be trespassing on the border of one of the local estates."

Xana dismounted and clenched her fists agitatedly. "First of all, I fragging _know_, okay? I was being stupid and I nearly crashed the swoop, I'll try to pay better attention in the future, can you ever forgive me for being a distracted driver; all that cliched poodoo. Point is, we're alive now, and yelling at me is not going to change anything! Not to mention the bike's overheated again anyway, so we're stuck here whether we like it or not. And besides, the Council did say 'immediate vicinity'; I'm still within my bounds. Now will you fragging back off?"

Talon dismounted as well and folded his arms. "Whatever. You're impossible to reason with. I don't know why I even try anymore."

-2-

Xana bit her lip, debating internally on what she should do. She and Talon had so much to work through. Was it even worth trying to fix things? Did she want his friendship anymore? She'd never find out unless one of them decided to be the bigger person.

"Talon?"

"What?"

Xana sighed and swallowed her pride. "Can we please just stop this?"

"Stop what?"

"This pointless vendetta. Now that I think about it, at the beginning, none of this stuff was even our fault! We just started automatically blaming each other, soon moved on to knocking each other down verbally and physically, and now look what's happened! Obviously, something needs to change or we'll lose our friendship...what's left of it anyway." He glanced at her questioningly and she added, "Not that I particularly care or anything; it's just that we've kinda been through a lot and it seems a shame to waste all of that over something so..."

"Insignificant? Stupid? Yeah, I get what you're saying. To be honest, I never liked the way we went from close friends to arch enemies." _From protecting each other to knocking each other down. _"It just felt...wrong, somehow. So...I'm willing to apologize and move on if you want to. _Do_ you want to?"

"No, Talon. I want to go on fighting with you endlessly and causing pointless drama." Xana smiled and leaned against the bike. "But yeah, if we're going to do this sappy apology poodoo, then I guess we better do it right."

She cleared her throat and looked at him with the most innocent, angel-eyed expression she could muster up. "I'm sorry for lashing out at you so badly, tricking you, and knocking you unconscious. And I do appreciate that you rescued me from drowning, stood up to Carth for me, and essentially stopped me from throwing away an epic destiny. Your turn."

"Okay. I'm sorry for being paranoid, ignoring you, damaging your swoop bike, and stunning you in a really stupid way. And I want to thank you too, for being there to rescue me, fight with me, watch my back, and make my life interesting."

"So that's settled then. We stop being selfish and just forget the dramatic mess the past few weeks have been. _And_ we promise to actually talk civilly next time there's a misunderstanding."

"You got it. Friends?"

"Friends. Now come on, let's go see that waterfall!"

Xana ran down the hill and onto the bridge, sighing contentedly when she reached the riverpool. The spray and cool breeze from the waterfall relieved the afternoon heat, but not so much as to give her goosebumps. It was the perfect mix of hot and cold. Xana lay on her stomach and dragged out her datapads. Talon perched on the edge of the bridge, took off his shoes, and kicked his feet in the water.

Most of the afternoon passed in this manner. Xana would occasionally stop to rest her eyes, and the two friends would share a brief smile or conversation. She was a quarter of the way through her assignments when she suddenly thrust the volumes away and took off her shoes.

"Frag this. I can't understand half of it, and I wanna go swimming so badly."

"Come on, you already made some good progress. Try and take it a little at a time."

"Nope. I'm done for today. Seriously, how could you look at this", she pointed to the five-foot-tall waterfall and crystalline blue riverpool, "and want to work instead?" And with that, she dove into the water.

Xana sunk down in the riverpool, enjoying the feeling of cold weightlessness. It was calming – not too frigid yet cool enough to be refreshing. She smiled and watched the light beams dance across her pale skin. For a few moments she drifted gracefully; almost artfully.

When Xana sensed a wave of anxiety wash over from Talon, however, the reverie was broken and she became aware of her lungs aching. She quickly kicked back to the surface, emerging in a flurry of bubbles and flying water.

"Hey snipertard, you really gotta try this! The water here's awesome!"

Talon looked doubtful. "No, I think I'll stay up here and mind my guard duties."

"And really, other than stalking me, those duties are?"

"There's guarding...and...uh-"

Xana rolled her eyes. "Come on, it's swimming by a Dantooine waterfall! Once in a lifetime experience here, dude!" He didn't respond, so she tried again.

"Okay, so do you have any restrictions on guarding while submersed in water?"

"No..."

"So will you jump in, or am I gonna have to pull you in myself?"

"Psh. I'd like to see you try!"

She smirked, accepting the challenge, and swam over to where he knelt by the bridge's edge. He offered her his wrist mockingly, reasoning that the skinny Padawan couldn't possibly overpower him.

Xana gripped it hard and gave a couple of tugs. He didn't budge, so she tried to weigh him down instead. She was too buoyant. She then began to swim hard and thrash around in the water. He chuckled softly, clearly amused at her failed attempts to drag him into the river.

Xana pouted teasingly, still gripping his wrist as she gave up and began to float on her back. Though something wasn't quite right about the devious gleam in her eyes...

Her foot shot out and braced against the side of the bridge as she gave one almighty tug. He was sent sprawling down over the edge. As he drifted down, he couldn't help but admit that Xana was right about the water. It felt amazing and he was glad he didn't miss out on this. Still...he would not concede defeat!

Talon paddled up to the surface, whooping as he shoved a huge wave of water in the direction Xana had been. To his surprise, when the droplets settled, she wasn't even there. He swiveled around, scanning the surface of the river pool. She wasn't anywhere in sight. Cursing himself for letting his guard down, he called out her name in frustration and bewilderment.

The waterfall behind him parted in the middle over a delicate white hand.

"Yes?", she sang mischievously, one twinkling eye peeking out from behind the crystalline curtain.

Talon furrowed his eyebrows. "Why are you back there?"

"Cause I suck at splash fights and back here I'm protected with this pretty little wall of water.", she replied with the same teasing tone.

He caught on and swum towards her, grinning. "Ah, I see. But that wouldn't work if I came back there and unleashed my splash-fight awesomeness then, now would it?"

Her eyes widened and her tone turned serious. "Talon Averra, don't you dare-"

"Too late!" He broke through the waterfall, splashing around wildly and sending a barrage of water down on Xana.

She tried to retaliate, but it was no use. Eventually she just resorted to shielding her face and ears while spluttering, "GAH! I will fragging _end_ you, snipertard! You hear me_?_!"

Finally, he grew tired of splashing her to oblivion. He stilled and waited for the last wave to break over her head, panting lightly from the exertion. It revealed a very cold and wet Xana, arms clutched around herself as she shivered visibly. Her normally light red lips were pale pink and she was trying to keep the bottom one from trembling. Her piercing eyes had gone soft and were wide as saucers when she gazed up at him. It didn't help that the waterfall they were under was filtering the sunbeams so they lit up her involuntary puppy-dog expression.

Talon immediately felt remorse wash over him. He gripped the damp rock wall and propelled himself toward her, apologizing, "Oh gosh, Xana...I really didn't mean to -"

Immediately her face lit up and she let out a barking laugh. "Hah! You should've seen your face!"

He stuttered, "Wha...why you little-!"

She dove through the waterfall and swam away from him, narrowly missing another splash. He chased after her for a few minutes before catching up. He caught her ankle and pulled her back, ignoring the barrage of water she sent sailing at his face in response. He shook his head to get rid of the moisture and put her in a headlock, both of them laughing loudly as she tried to get free.

Suddenly she stopped struggling and muttered, "Oh, shizznit."

He fell silent and released her, looking around in a panic. "What? What is it?"

-3-

Without warning, she dove behind him and locked her arm around his neck, dragging him under the bridge hurriedly. He shoved her off then, hissing, "What was that all about? If you're trying to escape again-"

Xana clamped her hand over his mouth. She whispered desperately, "Shhhh! Zhar's coming this way and he's looking for us!"

He pushed her hand away and whispered back, "I thought you had permission to leave the Enclave if you were with me!"

"I did! But really, Jedi Masters tend to approve _so well_ of their Padawans splashing around in waterfalls with their bodyguards."

"But we're not-" he trailed off awkwardly.

"Well, duh! But you seriously think he's gonna believe that now?"

"Point taken. So how is pulling us under a bridge going to help in that department?"

"Just shut up and listen – oh frag, here he comes – I need you to hold me up in the water while I mask our presence with the Force. It takes too much concentration for me to do anything else."

Talon nodded and sighed wearily. There was no way this _couldn't _end awkwardly – why did she always get them into such crazy situations?

He hesitated, then finally reached out and held Xana up by her arms. She stopped treading water, gasping sharply as she sank in up to her neck. He quickly pulled her into a firm embrace and she stopped sinking.

"Don't worry, I gotcha." He shifted her to the side a bit and beamed her a crooked smile. Although Xana was loathe to admit it, she probably would have gone weak in the knees had she been standing.

She glanced up at him for a few more brief moments before closing her eyes. Her breathing grew longer and deeper, and a calmness settled over her face. Talon struggled to hold both of them up, kicking furiously yet trying to keep his breath silent and even.

Xana concentrated, letting her mind slip down the strangely familiar track. Her thoughts began to dull yet speed up at the same time; it was like her mind was a hive of activity and a still surface at the same time. She then began to focus on spreading a mental blanket over her and Talon's presences, feeling somewhat accomplished when she sensed them dim considerably.

Thudding footsteps sounded nearby. "Padawan", Zhar hollered, "PADAWAN! Where are you?" They both tensed up as he walked onto the bridge and paused right over them. At this point, all he had to do was look down.

Talon didn't even want to imagine the consequences in store for both him and Xana.

Zhar lingered a short while before striding off the bridge and continuing down the plains. Talon let out a breath he hadn't known he'd been holding. His strength failed him at last.

His right arm shot up so he could grip the side of the bridge, his other flipping Xana around and snaking around her waist to keep her afloat.

Xana was jolted out of her meditation. She blinked away water droplets that had settled over her eyelashes, perplexed at the sudden extra weight on her stomach.

She swiveled around slightly and her face impacted a wall of warm drexl leather. Placing her hands on Talon's shoulders and pushing away so she could look up at him, she drawled sarcastically, "Well hello there."

He grinned embarrassedly and mumbled, "Hi."

Xana thought over the situation for a few moments before chuckling reflectively. She tilted her head to the side and pondered, "I get us into the wackiest messes, don't I?"

"Meh, it gets annoying sometimes, but my life would be so boring without you around."

Xana laughed and let her hand splash down into the water. It brushed up against where Talon's was splayed out against her side. She fell silent, failing to stop her face from heating up.

Looking down, she felt a rush of boldness come over her. Slowly, she let her hand drift through the water to rest on top of his own.

_This is crazy, this is crazy, this is totally fragging crazy! What were you thinking, chica - end this now!_

She began to pry at his fingers, relieved when they came away willingly. What she didn't expect was when they entwined with hers only a moment later.

Xana looked up in shock and disbelief, her wide eyes meeting his soft brown ones. He still beamed that wry yet encouraging smile at her, and her anxiety instantly melted into peaceful contemplation. Her gaze traveled up to where his other arm lay hooked across the top of the bridge. She stared down at the afternoon sun's rays softly twinkling on the surface of the water, then back up at the bottom of the bridge again.

It was almost like a canopy, she mused. And the trill of the birds, the babbling of the river; a beautiful orchestra. His hand tightened around hers and she looked back down beneath the surface of the water again. She turned their hands over and over, examining them as if they were some sort of rare oddity. His hand completely dwarfed her delicate, skinny one, yet his was warm and soft and hers was calloused.

What did this even mean, anyway? Why was she not gagging or beating the snot out of him? Why did she not want to? The confusion began to override the warmth that had been shooting across her gut and turning her cheeks bright red. She shook her head, trying to ward off the daze she was in.

He brought their hands back to her side, holding her closer. Immediately, Xana came back to reality and _snapped_. She wheeled around and shoved him away roughly, staring at him with a freaked-out expression on her face. He let his right arm plop into the water, looking as if he had just come out of a trance as well. Both were at a loss for words.

Finally, Xana gripped the edge of the bridge and murmured, "If they're looking for us already, we should probably get out by now. Seeing as we don't have any extra clothes and it takes a while to sun-dry."

-4-

Without waiting for a response, she hauled herself up onto the bridge and lay spread-eagle on the metal surface. She rolled onto her stomach, burying her face in her arms to hide her burning cheeks. A few moments later, she heard Talon get out of the water and settle in on the other end of the bridge.

"We shall never speak of this again. Got it?" she grumbled.

"Xana... it's not-"

"_No_, Talon! I don't wanna hear it!" Xana sighed and calmed herself down. "Look, we just reestablished our friendship – or whatever you want to call it – and I don't want to mess things up any further. It's for the best, really. Believe me when I say I'm doing this for your sake as much as I am for mine."

"And how is that?"

Xana sat up, cross-legged, and cocked her head to the side. "Have you ever read _Tamerlane_ by Edgar Allan Poe?"

Talon shook his head no.

"Well, it's about a brave and noble warrior; born and bred to be the absolute best. His one and only passion is for adventure, until he falls in love with a beautiful maiden in the mountains. They get married, live out a few years in domestic bliss, and for a while he can't ask for anything more. But then the thrill of his glory days call to him. He decides to leave her for a little bit, while they're still young, and return when he's grown tired of it. Before he knows it, years have gone by, then decades, and when he finally decides she's his one and only again? You know what happens?"

"No, what?"

"He returns to their cabin in the mountains, only to find out that she died a few years back. Still clinging to the promise that he'd return. And he ends up dying alone in the cabin, never getting the chance to truly say goodbye to his love."

"Wow. That's awful, not to mention really tragic."

"Yep. The moral of the story is that you shouldn't try to make your own happy ending. If you're a wanderer at heart, you can't pretend that you can put down roots. It'll just cause unnecessary hurt when you have to pull them back out and move on for your own sanity."

"That's strange. I would've thought the moral of the story was to be happy with true love when it comes."

"Talon! You're not understanding what I'm trying to tell you here!"

"And what would that be? Xana, I know you. You're nothing like that."

"Don't you see? I'm as 'Tamerlane' as they come. It's inevitable that I'll have to leave you and everyone else behind. I'll never stop wandering off in search of my next adventure, because that's the only life I can ever really see myself having. I don't think I can happily exist any other way. And I have to distance myself cause there's just not enough room for another person in that kind of lifestyle. Please, please try to understand."

"Fine. We _are _still friends, right?"

"I'd like us to still be friends. Considering all the hoopla the Council's about to put us through, I have a feeling I'm gonna need a friend like you - provided that you don't shoot stun bolts at me anymore, of course."

"Deal." Talon pondered in silence before saying, "Hey, you know, it sounds like you enjoy books a lot."

"Yeah, I do. So?"

"So why do I never see you reading your assignments?"

Xana forced a smile, shame tinging her expression and tone. "Cause I can't read Galactic Basic. Have to keep up the 'coarse, illiterate space pirate' stereotype, after all."

"But why? You're an intelligent person."

"Cause the galaxy I'm from has a different alphabet, and I've only been able to figure out a handful of symbols in this one. I just use what letters I do know to decipher words. It's not like I have anybody to teach me, so I have to be resourceful. She paused for a moment before her face suddenly lit up with an idea. "Hey...what if _you_ taught me to read and write? In return, I'll teach you my alphabet as well, and I'll even read _Romeo and Juliet_ to you!"

Talon shrugged. "Sounds good to me. It's not like we have anything better to do, and I guess it gives us a legitimate excuse to come back here and hang out every day."

"I guess so." Xana drew up her knees and rested her chin on them.

He turned to look her in the eyes. "Xana? You're really going to try, aren't you? To be a Jedi?"

"I have no choice. But somehow, the idea sounds a lot more...tolerable...now. Like things are clicking into place like a puzzle, ya know?"

"Yeah, I get what you're trying to say." Talon stood up, walked over to her, and offered her his hand. "So, milady, shall we ride back to the Enclave now?"

Xana accepted his hand, grinning. "It will be my pleasure, good sir."

* * *

**to be continued...**


	12. I'm thankful for you

Chapter 11 (part 2) - I'm thankful for _you_

Soundtrack:

Bastila's flashback – The First One by Boys Like Girls (-1-), Vanilla Twilight by Owl City (-2-)

Xana's training montage – Pure by Superchick (-3-)

I'm thankful for _you_ – The Only Exception by Paramore (-4-)

* * *

**AN: Okay so this was a late idea that stemmed from Xana's training montage. I had to make a separate chapter cause the old one was going on 12 pages and there was still extra stuff I wanted to write about. Since Thanksgiving is coming up I decided to do a happier (but still deep) chapter where the characters think about how things are starting to look up. It's not as cheesy as it sounds, and let's just say I've got a couple little surprises in store. Read on ;)

* * *

**

Bastila sighed and leaned against the entrance to the Jedi Enclave. Her nerves had been rather frayed, what with the events of the past week. It was a race against time to mobilize Xana and task her with searching for the Star Maps. She still worried that the Republic war effort might be on its' last legs even as the Council scrambled to put their plan into action. And on top of it all, Xana's behavior upon her return to the Enclave had begun to suggest the dark side in her might not have been as eradicated as they'd once thought.

Still, there was the presence of small everyday mercies to be thankful for. Almost as if to make a point, a warm breeze drifted through the docking bay and soothingly swept her hair away from her face. She tilted her head upwards, soaking in the heat of the sun and listening to the melodic chirping of nearby birds. All things considered, there was a lot she could be thankful for even amidst the world of war and discipline she lived in.

Xana had proved herself to be a very proficient student, both in the depth of her academic insight and in physical progress as well. If she continued on this pattern, the mission could be underway in a matter of weeks. Carth had also begun seeking her out more often after their original talk outside the Council chambers. It had been nothing of significance; he merely wished to discuss perceptions of the Mandalorian wars from a Jedi perspective. Bastila had allowed for his occasional company in her spare time, but she refused to let it progress to any degree of a friendship. They would be traveling together after all, and she did not want to breed unnecessary attachments.

A movement to the far wall caught her eye and she slipped out of her reverie. Xana and Talon were perched on a bench, talking together. A stack of datapads – presumably Xana's reading assignments – was perched precariously on her lap. Both of Xana's hands were full with trying to keep the pile from toppling. Talon held another in his hands and seemed to be reading it to her. Every now and then he'd point out a word, and Xana would lean over the datapad and study it for a bit before allowing him to continue. Their closeness, especially as of late, was disconcerting but not necessarily dangerous.

The wind picked up again and Xana's loose hair blew across her face. She shook her head around vehemently, trying to displace her unruly locks, but just ended up with a mouthful of hair. Talon appeared to ask her a brief question, to which she huffed and slumped back before nodding yes. To Bastila's great horror, he smiled, reached over, and gently pushed Xana's hair out of her face. He tucked it neatly behind her ear and smoothed it out, laughing when her face turned bright red in response.

Bastila shook her head slowly. This was not appropriate conduct for a Jedi. She should probably have a talk with Xana about this, although in a way she also felt strangely envious of her bond-sister. To be that young and carefree again; to be at such an age where it seemed attachments were one of the most innocent and wondrous things in the galaxy – it seemed a lifetime ago when she herself had been caught up in something similar. It had been one of the most grievous mistakes of her life, yet...she found she wouldn't have traded that blessed time for all the wisdom in the world.

* * *

_The sun had just begun to dip into the far hills; crowned by breathtaking golden-and-scarlet clouds and tinging the landscape a calming amber color. It was the eve of Bastila Shan's eighteenth birthday – and her best friend's knighting. Tonight was the night, it seemed, that she could almost see and feel everything that they had worked toward coming to fruition. She breathed in the summer air giddily, reveling in the excitement of being on the cusp of adulthood. It was times like this that the galaxy simply _sang_ to her, and the sleepy little planet of Dantooine seemed like the most beautiful place in the universe. There was only one thing she needed to make this moment perfect..._

"_Bastila!" Alek came running up to her, his thick black hair and layers of Jedi robes waving in the wind. Clinging to his hand was a very familiar young girl with wavy black hair and a datapad tucked under one arm. _Right on cue_, Bastila thought with a smile. _

_She waved to him enthusiastically, calling back, "Squint! Over here!" _

_He reached the biba tree she had been leaning against and paused to catch his breath. "Must you call me that? It's bad enough that everyone else does it just cause they can't pronounce my fragging name!"_

"_Yeah!", piped up the child, "It's not his fault his last name's Squin...sker...gar...gah, whatever it's called!"_

_Bastila laughed and ruffled the girl's hair. "It's Squinsquargesimus, Roxana. But you have to admit, it does make it a bit easier to say his name. Doesn't it?"_

_Xana thought for a moment, then nodded her head brightly. Alek smiled and nudged his young friend gently. "Hey, why don't you go run around and play in the stream? You're not gonna get a chance for awhile once we get back to the Enclave."_

_Xana shook her head quickly. "That's for little kids. I'm eleven already! I wanna practice my katas so when I grow up I can be a good fighter like you."_

_-1-_

"_That's a good idea. There's some level ground about ten meters off, near that boulder." He crouched down to her level and pointed toward a patch of dirt a medium distance away. "Go have fun."_

_Xana bounded off without another word. Once she was out of earshot, Bastila chuckled and playfully shoved Alek's arm. "Couldn't resist bringing her along again, could you?"_

_He hugged Bastila close and kissed the side of her head. "More like I couldn't get away. Ever since I've been knighted she's never left my side or stopped asking questions. S'okay though, you know how it's been. After all these years I'm still practically her big brother. But," he added, grinning down at her rakishly, "I'm here now and all yours. I'd never miss this for the world...even if I did have to make the Council cut my knighting ceremony a bit short. Happy birthday, by the way."_

_Bastila pulled away and broke out into a huge grin. "Oh Alek, you didn't! My goodness, Master Vrook must have broken his field record for largest scowl!" _

_Sitting on the grass and pulling her down next to him, he replied, "Hey, anything for you. And I'm a Knight now, remember?It's not like they can unleash the wrath of cleaning duty on me anymore."_

"_Yes, that's right! Congratulations. I really am so proud of you." Bastila beamed up at him, then shyly linked her arm with his._

"_Thanks, Bass. Now all we have to do is wait until you're knighted, then we can gallivant across the galaxy and have all those mindblowing adventures we dreamed up when we were kids. And... we might even be able to get an audience with the Council concerning the attachment rule."_

_Bastila sighed. "Speaking of which, I think you may need to get a bit of a head start on that. To truly win the Council over, you'll need prowess, experience, standing, and most importantly, respect. The Jedi Order will not overturn centuries of tradition simply because two young Knights...care for each other very much." _

"_Correction: one young Knight and a very brilliant Padawan learner." Alek dodged a teasing swat to the arm before pondering, "Hmm, I wonder what would happen if we requested that you be _my _Padawan learner? Think the Council will go for it? Betcha Vrook will have a tizzy fit." _

"_Oh, enough. As much as I wish we could do so, again, you'd need more of a standing amongst the Council for that." _

_Alek looked somber all of a sudden. "Looks like I'm way ahead of you on that. Right after my Knighting, the Council assigned me to settle a minor diplomatic issue on Corellia. Master Vrook said it would help me 'refine my negotiation abilities'. I leave tomorrow morning."_

"_We're not going to be able to spend the harvest festival together then, are we?" Bastila asked. The Enclave usually gave a weekend off during the traditional harvest festival at the end of summer, throwing a small feast in celebration along with the rest of the planet. They had planned to have a picnic out on the plains and bring Roxana along._

"_No, we're not. The Council said that, while this mission would probably take around three weeks, diplomatic negotiations have a tendency to drag on much longer than expected. But hey, I'll still be here for Yuletime, and I promise to bring back some amazing presents for you and Roxana."_

"_I guess there's no getting around it. I just wish they could've at least given us one day of the harvest festival together."_

"_Yeah, so do I. But there's been rumors of war among the edges of the Outer Rim, and some of the planets' governments are beginning to debate whether or not to take cautionary measures. Knights are being dispatched left and right to investigate and quell the legislative chaos."_

"_I've heard the rumors as well; there have been whisperings that the Mandalorians have been conquering worlds outside the Republic in preparation for an invasion. You don't think the Republic will actually go to war?"_

"_I hope not. A war-torn galaxy isn't the kind of place I want you or Roxana to grow up in."_

"_Squint! You of all people should know I am no longer a child!" she teased. "And besides, you're only twenty-two years old yourself. As I recall, it wasn't too long ago that _you_ had a bit of growing up to do." Bastila giggled softly, remembering the awkward, lanky young teenager who had asked her on walks every day. _

"_Oh, hee hee. Very funny. At least I won you over in the end."_

"_That you did, Squint. That you did."_

_He smiled, then pulled out a portable chronometer and checked it. "I'm really sorry, Bass. As much as I want to stay here longer, I really have to go back and prepare for the trip."_

"_I understand."_

_They both stood up, neither breaking eye contact with the other. Alek called Xana over, and the girl came running. _

"_Come on, little sister. We've got to head back so I can get ready to go."_

"_Wait!", she pleaded, "Can we play one more game before you go?"_

_He grinned and pretended to contemplate for a moment. "Sure thing. You wanna play princesses and dragons?"_

"_Ew, no! That game's for pansies! I wanna play Republic Mercs!"_

_Both Alek and Bastila laughed._

"_Alright then, hurry and go find your sniper spot." he gently urged the child._

"_That girl is getting to be entirely too much like you." Bastila joked._

"_But of course my dear, who else is going to drive you nuts when I'm gone?"_

"_Hey guys! I'm ready!" Roxana sang. She'd perched on a branch in the biba tree._

"_Okay then!" Alek called back. _

_-2-_

_Xana formed her fingers into blaster shapes and made 'pew' noises, pointing them at Alek. He activated his lightsaber and made blocking motions. Xana moved her arms like a real sharpshooter and he dodged and flipped in the air grandiosely. _

"_Oh frag! Now I'm gonna have to come down there and get you." Xana called, grinning wildly._

_Alek held out his arm in preparation. Xana took a running start and cast herself off of the branch without another thought. She soon found herself floating securely in the air, doing gentle somersaults as she continued to pretend to fire stun bolts at Alek. The little girl did a few over-the-top flips and gymnastics as he gently lowered her to the ground with the Force. Then, he deactivated his lightsaber and began sprinting around the tree, letting Xana give chase._

_Xana used the Force to make herself run twice as fast, eventually jumping in front of him and pointing her finger at his chest. She gave one final shout, "PEW!" Alek clutched at his chest and crumpled to the ground melodramatically, laughing, "Oh no, you've got me! Ack! Goodbye, cruel galaxy!"_

_Xana laughed brightly when he coughed and sputtered, "Tell Bastila...ack...tell her...she's beautiful."_

"_Squint!" Bastila scolded. She had a big grin on her own face, though. _

_Alek got up from the ground and dusted himself off. "That good enough for ya, Pipsqueak?"_

_Xana nodded and hugged him. "Thanks, Alek!"_

"_No problem. Now how about you run back to the Enclave and finish up your homework? I'll catch up to you later."_

"_Kay. Bye!" Xana concentrated for a moment, then ran off toward the Enclave at breakneck speed._

"_Roxana is a talented girl. I can imagine she'd be a very powerful Force user when she grows up." Bastila commented._

"_Yeah. That's why I need you to watch out for her when I'm gone. She gets picked on a lot for her abilities and intelligence, and she's not exactly one to think her actions through. I need you to guide her and take care of her for me, okay?"_

"_Squint, she's eleven years old; hardly a child anymore. I doubt she would need or appreciate my guidance."_

"_She's my baby sister, Bass. I wouldn't trust anyone else to do it. So do you promise?"_

"_Yes, I promise. I'll watch out for her no matter what."_

_Alek smiled and took her hand. Together, they turned toward the sunset and just savored the moment.

* * *

_

Bastila looked down at her hands. To this day, they still looked strangely empty without his own to occupy them. She shook her head angrily. This was why attachments were frowned upon; even after all these years of putting up mental walls, she still couldn't help but think about the man Malak used to be.

_No, _she thought, _they're not the same person. The dark side took Alek away long ago, and Malak is all that's left._

Frustrated, she hopped off of the wall and strode into the Ebon Hawk. Why she didn't go and seek out the meditation chamber in the Enclave was beyond her. What was in this rusty old ship that could possibly help her?

The answer revealed itself when she came across a very sullen pilot in the common room.

Carth was so mired in his thoughts that he didn't see Bastila approach. _It's that time of the year again_, he lamented. Thoughts of his late wife filled his mind. Her in the kitchen, cooking stuffed nuna and roasted vegetables. Her bustling around their apartment on Telos, brightening everything up for the holidays with tasteful little decorations. Her laughing and wiping chocolate sauce off of their five-year-old son's face. Stars, he missed her.

"Carth, are you alright?" He was startled to look up and find Bastila standing in the doorway.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just...thinking about someone important."

"If you don't mind me asking, was it your wife?"

He looked away and nodded.

"Ah, I see. If it's any consolation, I understand how you feel. Truth be told, I've been thinking about someone similar as well."

"If you don't mind me asking as well, who was it? I never exactly pictured you as the type to have a boyfriend."

"I'd rather not say. And he wasn't my _boyfriend_ exactly, though we did care very much for each other. He went off to fight during the end of the Mandalorian wars, and he was...lost. It was a lesson I needed to learn, I believe. There is a reason Jedi do not form attachments."

"I'm sorry."

"It's quite all right, Carth. May I inquire as to how you are faring this holiday?"

"Fine, all things considered. It's not very fun to be alone during a planetwide celebration, but I'm used to it."

"As far as I can see, at the present moment you are not alone."

Carth smiled. "True. So what do you say, how about us two loners stay here and reminisce? I've got a pot of caffa brewing."

Bastila returned his smile, a bit shyly. "Why yes, I'd like that very much."

He got up, walked to the kitchenette, and came back with two steaming mugs. When he sat down, he held his mug up halfway between him and Bastila.

"I propose a toast. To days gone by and...to new friends."

The cups clinked.

* * *

-3-

Xana walked into Master Vrook's classroom, brimming with confidence.

"Padawan Dakari." he tersely acknowledged her. He braced himself for the barrage of delinquent behavior and sarcasm that would follow, but none came. She just smiled at him and took her seat. He raised his eyebrows suspiciously.

"It's okay. I did some thinking. Just because I don't agree with your ideologies doesn't mean I can't at least try to see things from your viewpoint."

"Good. I expect you to pay attention from now on. Today is the final lecture in the series, and we will not review materials already covered because you chose to be absent."

"That sounds fair. Can't wait to hear your lecture."

Throughout the class, Xana paid rapt attention and occasionally scribbled down notes in her own alphabet. He'd expected her to remain silent and confused when he began calling on the class for questions, but she answered almost every one.

"Why...that's right." Vrook muttered for the umpteenth time. Xana's classmates were shooting her either surprised glances or jealous stares. When the class was dismissed and the students began to file out, he pulled Xana aside.

"Padawan, I must say I am impressed. You've made a drastic improvement since you last attended my class. Though I suggest you not expect me to say this more than once."

Xana beamed. "Thanks, Master Vrook. Don't worry, I won't. See you tomorrow!"

* * *

_Concentrate. Concentrate. Clear your mind and focus_.

Xana closed her eyes tighter as her mind cleared itself of anything but the datapad in front of her. It rose without a hitch this time, and Xana even began to spin it in mid-air. She was actually having a lot of fun with this.

Keeping her mental grip steady, she peeked one eye open. Xana was pleasantly surprised to find two small stones now orbiting the rotating datapad. Slowly, she lessened her concentration and watched as the three objects gently floated to the ground.

"Very good, padawan. That's tremendous progress." Zhar entered the room then, fatherly pride and happiness written all over his face. Xana looked over to the corner where Talon was standing. He grinned at her approvingly. She returned both smiles tenfold.

* * *

Xana watched in awe as Bastila did a handspring and executed a neat little mid-air somersault. The older woman landed with beautiful grace and agility, eliciting a few nods of approval from the other students in the training room.

"I can't do that!" Xana exclaimed. "I'll fall on my face or break a bone or-"

"Just give it a try, Xana." Bastila coaxed encouragingly. "Clear your mind of all doubt and focus on the task at hand. You can do it."

Xana nodded and took her place at the head of the gymnastics mat. She cast off her inhibitions rather reluctantly, then steeled herself. Closing her eyes, she ran forward at full speed. She stiffened her body and jumped as hard as she could, using the Force to propel her even higher. Halfway up, Xana tucked her knees to her forehead and did two clumsy spins.

Then she felt gravity begin to pull her down. Straightening out into an attack leap, she used the Force to break her fall as she descended rapidly. When she landed in a kneeling crouch, however, she was surprised to impact the polished floor rather than a mat. She leaned forward a bit and came in contact with a solid wall.

Xana opened her eyes to find two previously-sparring Padawans staring at her with wide eyes and open mouths. She shifted to peek around them and her own jaw dropped. She'd managed to jump across the entire 30-meter-long training room! Zhar and Talon ran up from where they had been observing.

Zhar gripped her shoulders and exclaimed, "Padawan, that was one of the most impressive Force jumps I've seen in all my years as a Jedi Master. Are you all right? You nearly impacted the skylight and flew over at least two duels!"

"Wow, thanks! And yeah, it's all good."

Talon exclaimed, "That was amazing! I didn't even know it was physically possible to do something that cool!"

Xana rolled her eyes playfully. "You'd be amazed at the depths of my awesomeness."

"Not to mention your humility." Bastila deadpanned.

_Wait, did she just use _sarcasm_?_!

* * *

Xana sat cross-legged in the central atrium of the Enclave. It had become second nature to block out all the other noises and sounds on a moment's notice. Her datapad rose and began to rotate almost instantly. Feeling a little adventurous, she pushed the firmly-held strand of concentration to the back of her mind. _Let's see what I can do with this._

She reached out with other tendrils of consciousness and gripped two chairs sitting against the far wall. They floated towards her and soon began to orbit around her head. Smirking, she then sought out the greyish-purple Force signature that was Talon. It was a bit harder to lift him, but it was more than worth it. When Xana opened her eyes, he was flailing and kicking in the air above her.

He screamed, "Xana! This isn't funny! Put me down!"

Xana giggled and called to him, "You didn't say please!" With a wave of her hand, he began to rotate in a Force whirlwind.

"Please! You're going to give me motion sickness!"

"All right. As you wish." Xana broke her mental hold and stared up expectantly, waiting to see Talon crash into the atrium's gardens. She overestimated his trajectory, however. Talon dropped right down onto her stomach, knocking all the wind out of her and rolling onto the grass.

-4-

He scrambled up and knelt over Xana, who had curled up into a fetal position. She groaned softly and tears leaked out of her eyes.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah," she mumbled, "I'll live. I kinda had that coming anyway."

"Can you walk?"

"Probably, but I really just want to sit down somewhere. You wanna go to the courtyard? I hear Dantooine's got some pretty nice sunsets."

"That sounds nice, actually. Let's go." He eased her into a sitting position and bent down so she could hook her arm around his neck.

"Ready?" Talon asked.

""Mmhmm." He gently hauled Xana to her feet, eliciting a hiss of pain and a wry smile from her. Slowly, Talon helped her limp down the halls and into the empty courtyard. She perched on the low fence overlooking the open plains, and Talon sat next to her.

"You doing okay?"

"Yeah. It's still kinda sore though. I'm sorry for using the Force to spin you in the air."

"S'okay. It was kinda funny, actually. And you broke my fall so it didn't even hurt."

"Yay for you. Ugh, I seriously need to quit being so fragging mean all the time."

"I don't think you're mean. You just have a very...different...way of expressing yourself. And you can be thoughtless sometimes, yeah, but at least you've got integrity. You know how to swallow your pride and apologize when you need to."

Xana leaned to the side and nudged him playfully. "Thanks. That's exactly what I needed to hear; it seems like nobody really even likes me that much cause of the way I talk and act. It's nice to know somebody understands me."

They sat in comfortable silence for a while, enjoying each other's company and the sky's brilliant colors.

Suddenly Talon spoke up. "So... on a random note, what are you thankful for today?"

"Huh?"

"Today's the start of the harvest festival on Dantooine. People have feasts to celebrate and reminisce about all the things they're thankful for. So what are you most thankful for?"

"I dunno, really. Give me some time to think about it. In the meantime, why don't you tell me what you're thankful for?"

"That's an easy one. You."

Xana was taken aback. Her stomach fluttered nervously and she couldn't help but blush bright crimson. "Why?"

"Like I said before, you're the only real friend I have that's my age. In the fleet, the other recruits would only snub me because Carth and I were such good friends, or they would suck up to me just to gain his favor. You became friends with me – and wanted to stay my friend – because you like who I am. Not to mention you're very witty, humorous, random, intelligent...and you make my life very, very interesting."

Xana smiled and gave him a one-armed hug. He returned the gesture and grinned back at her.

"I think I know what I'm thankful for now."

"What is it?."

"Second chances. And most definitely _you_."

"That's good." he replied awkwardly. Xana noticed that he'd started to blush as well.

At that moment, Xana didn't mind her injured stomach so much anymore. And she was pretty sure the harvest festival was her new favorite holiday.

Shyly, she linked her arm with his and turned to watch the sunset.

* * *

**AN: Yup, Bastila and Malak. I got the idea from a friend on DeviantArt who's a very talented artist and writer - she did a series where Bastila and Malak liked each other as teens and I immediately loved the pairing. Couldn't resist adding young Xana in there as well, just to give some background as to why Bastila cares for her so much and why Malak would've taken her with him to the Mando Wars when she was only 13 or 14. It irritates me how KotOR polarizes some of the characters, like Bastila being a snooty perfectionist and Malak being an emotionless robot. So I wanted to humanize their personalities by giving Bastila a legitimate reason to avoid emotion, and an additional explanation as to why Malak captured her and acts like the cold, mean villain he generally is. The Bastila x Carth scene is for my beta reader, writtenrhythm (READ HER STORY "ONE MORE TIME", IT IS UBER AWESOME**), **cause she likes that pairing**. **Sadly I had to post these chapters before she could beta them, but I might edit them later on**. **Sorry again about that, writtenrhythm!**

**And a big thank you to SkilletRox for reviewing chapter 10! Ya'll should read her story "Wait, You're Telling Me" too...it's also about a teen Revan that's kinda like Xana and it's pretty darn good if I do say so myself. =) Oh and I've got a special announcement (judging from your username, S.R., I think you're gonna love this)...the next chapter will be an action-packed SKILLET SONGFIC MONTAGE! It's about darn time i did another montage chapter. =P**

**K so please review if you liked this, and hope you have a happy Thanksgiving!**

**~rfc74  
**


	13. A new kind of hero

Chapter 12 – A new kind of hero

(Montage #2)

Soundtrack:

Building Xana's lightsaber: A Little More by Skillet (-1-)

Battling on the plains: Hero by Skillet (-2-)

Showdown at the grove: Whispers in the Dark by Skillet (-3-)

* * *

TIME: 1200 hours

LOCATION: Jedi Enclave Training Room, Dantooine

It just sat there. Staring back at her with its' confusing array of shiny metal components. Almost taunting her and her apparent lack of mechanical skills. Waiting for her.

"Padawan, are you all right?" Zhar's voice broke through Xana's mental fog. The young student didn't flinch, just removed her hand from her chin and looked up to regard her master. She didn't need to look over her shoulder to know that Talon was right behind her, regarding the plethora of lightsaber parts with poorly-masked curiosity.

"Yeah, I'm good. So how exactly do we start this thing?"

"First, you need to receive a lightsaber crystal from Master Dorak. This will require extensive testing and-"

"Gotcha covered." Xana held up a dark blue crystal for both men to see.

"How did you get that?" Zhar demanded.

Xana shrugged. "I figured we'd get to the lightsaber building at some point, and I wanted to know my Jedi class already. So I skipped a little ahead of curriculum and went to talk to Master Dorak."

"You convinced him to administer the personality test early?"

"Convinced, pleaded, irritated him until he gave in…what's the difference?"

Zhar sighed. "Padawan, what did you do?"

* * *

TIME: 1200 hours, 1 week earlier

LOCATION: Jedi Enclave Hallways, Dantooine

Xana clapped her hands together and sauntered down the hall behind Master Dorak. "Okay, let's get on with this. I still think we're wasting our time cause I want to be a Jedi Guardian either way."

Master Dorak ignored her and recited, "You see a woman with a small child being accosted by desperate looking thugs. What do you do?"

"Attack the thugs and defend the lady, duh! But in the most hardcore way possible, of course. Most likely involving catchy one-liners, background explosions, and frag grenades. Lots of frag grenades."

He smiled wryly. "That is a rather...unusual answer, but very telling nonetheless. All right, now imagine you are about to enter into combat with a Dark Jedi-"

"Attack. With a barrage of frag grenades from a distance, then jump in with a wave of epic lightsaber flurries. Oh and some Ataru-style flips added in there for good measure."

This time a subdued, yet exasperated glance was sent her way. "Of course, I should have expected that. Now picture a locked door in front of you, and your goal is behind the door-"

"Kick the door down in a blaze of awesomeness. Or just use my lightsabers on it. I'm open to either one…though to be honest I'd rather just blast the thing open with a whole satchel of frag grenades and leap in through the tiny mushroom cloud with lightsabers blazing."

"I'm beginning to see a pattern here.", he deadpanned drolly, "All right, you are the head of an Enclave on a contested world. Dark Jedi have invaded and are causing unrest across the planet. What do you do?"

"Get an uber epic elite fighting squad together and unleash a can of kickbutt! Heck yeah! It's foolproof!"

He sighed in frustration and pinched the bridge of his nose."You know what, I'm not even going to bother with announcing your Jedi class. Just take this crystal and go already." He dropped a royal-blue lightsaber crystal into Xana's awaiting hands. The young Padawan eagerly ran away, calling back her thanks to the Jedi Master. Her bodyguard looked up at him beseechingly before dutifully following her.

Dorak shook his head slowly. _Poor kid.

* * *

_

TIME: 1215 hours

Location: Jedi Enclave Training Room, Dantooine

-1-

"Okay, well. That was certainly unorthodox. But if Master Dorak has deemed you most suitable as a Jedi Guardian, then that is what you shall train as."

"Sweet. Just gotta shoot off two more questions and I'm good to go." Xana beamed with confident excitement and gave her master a thumbs-up sign.

"Yes, Padawan?"

"Can I have some mod parts for it and can Talon help? I've decided I want to wield a curved-hilt blade with strips of braided bantha leather for the grip. And on a side note, the snipertard wouldn't stop bugging me about wanting to build one of these."

"I've never seen one up close before, sir. I just wanted to know the inner workings of this particular weapon." Talon explained hurriedly.

Zhar held up a hand to quiet him, addressing Xana instead. "It's quite all right. He may watch and offer advice, though this lightsaber must be constructed by your own two hands. If you prefer, there are extra containers in the supply closet that contain the parts you need. Good luck." He then strode away wearily, muttering amusedly about crazy Padawans and needing a caffa break.

Xana laughed softly to herself. Out of all the masters in the Jedi Enclave, she was glad to have gotten one with a personality.

She ran across the room and flung open the doors of the closet. Perusing the shelves, she finally selected a matte black curved hilt, wide strip of black bantha hide, and some purple paint.

Talon was already waiting a the workbench, hydrospanner in hand. Xana stood next to him and resumed staring at the array of components again. Finally, she just decided to wing it.

Xana took two halves of a hilt and had Talon fasten them in a clamp while she fitted them together. Then, she attached the curved end and dropped the power cell into the bottom. After that, they tried to wire the activator button and install a purple light underneath. Xana was zapped quite a few times and even managed to strip a few wires by jamming them into the hilt. She slammed the thing down onto the workbench, massaging her burnt fingers. Talon picked up the mess of wires and untangled them, showing her which ones to connect and how to thread them so they formed a single, straight mass.

Before she could grab the correctly-wired activator and install it, he deftly un-did his work and handed the components to her. "Now I want to see you do it."Xana glared at Talon, but accepted the mass of components. After two or three tries, she'd replicated his work exactly. "Good." he commented. Xana just grinned with triumph.

Talon handed her a pair of forceps and they both bent over the opened hilt while she placed the blue crystal. The emitter lens came next, and all that remained was soldering two matte iron rings onto the front and end of the silver hilt. The sparks from the soldering iron kept making Xana jerk away nervously, and she ended up dropping the offending tool. Talon clapped her on the shoulder and soothed, "Relax, okay? It's not going to hurt you. Just keep a steady hand."

Xana took a deep breath and forced her hands to stay still. True to his word, the sparks never burnt her. Finally, she wrapped the bantha leather securely around the silver parts of the hilt and painted a purple checkered pattern onto it.

"It's perfect." Xana breathed, turning over the weapon and admiring it. "This might just be the single most epic thing I've ever owned."

"I'd definitely agree with you on that. Think I can try it out sometime?" Talon asked teasingly.

Xana clutched the lightsaber to her chest with mock protectiveness, smiling mischievously. "Not on your life, snipertard." She reached out and wiped her paint-smudged thumb on his cheek. He stumbled back in surprise and swatted her hand away.

"Don't _do_ that." he protested, rubbing at the paint with the back of his hand. Xana observed his reaction and a mischievous smile broke out on her face.

"What ever do you mean?" she asked innocently, flinging a gob of paint at him. The cold, slimy goo splattered against his other cheek, making him wrinkle his nose in distaste.

"_That_. Now stop it."

"You mean this?" Xana dipped her forefinger in the paint and drew another line across his forehead.

Talon smiled exasperatedly and dunked his fingers into the paint. "No, this."

He swiped at her face before she could dodge away, painting four diagonal lines from her forehead to her jaw. Xana blinked at him a few times, her mouth open in surprise and outrage. She then made her way over to the workbench and grabbed the can of paint, looking just about ready to throw it at him.

Talon backed away instinctively. He had just shielded his face with his arms when he heard Xana begin to giggle. "What's so funny?" he asked suspiciously.

"It's permanent." Xana replied, turning the can so the label was facing him.

He looked utterly horrified for a second, until he caught sight of Xana's contagious grin and couldn't help but laugh along with her. "Oh shizz, this is gonna be fun to explain to your Jedi Masters." he said, gesturing to his face.

Xana set down the can and shoved his arm playfully. "Hey, I got it worse than you! Though to be honest", she mused, examining her reflection in the hilt of her lightsaber, "it is kinda hardcore. Like a punkish, military kind of look. Yeah, I think I could totally go for this."

Talon rolled his eyes. "Well, I can't. I'm pretty sure there's paint thinner in the supply closet."

Xana made a disgusted face. "Ack. I'm not rubbing those nasty chemicals all over my face."

"Do you want to go out looking like this?"

"Let me think. Yes."

"You're insufferable, you know that?" Talon teased, eyes glinting happily as they were momentarily taken back to the streets of Taris.

Xana smirked and put her hands on her hips. "Why yes, yes I am."

* * *

Canderous shoved aside the stray components on the workbench, growling in frustration. "Now _where_ is the kriffing hydrospanner?" he bellowed.

"Here." Mission replied, jumping off a plasteel container and handing him the tool she'd been absentmindedly playing with.

He grabbed the hydrospanner and grunted his thanks. "Don't you have anything better to do than sit in here and mess with my tools?" Canderous grumbled, beginning to take apart his repeating blaster carbine.

The young Twi'lek didn't seem at all perturbed by her companion's outburst; rather, she just shrugged nonchalantly and hopped up on the unused side of the workbench. "Mm, nope. Zaalbar's having a nap cause we stayed up all night playing pazaak again. Carth's no fun to hang around with unless Talon's there too, but now he's following Xana around all day. And Bastila, well...you get my drift."

"Still, why _here_? I'm trying to work, if you haven't noticed."

Mission picked up a few spare components and began to fasten together a security spike. "Maybe I wanna work too. I mean, the spare speeder bike is still broken and we always seem to need lots of grenades and computer spikes. I wanna do something important and stop laying around the ship like a useless waste of space, you know?" The finished spike dropped next to Canderous' repeater. Mission reached behind her for more components.

"What made you think that? Far as I see, you're not useless. A little annoying at times, but you've got pretty decent skills for a kid your age." Canderous said gruffly.

"That's what I'm talking about! I'm not a kid; I'm fourteen!" Another spike was deposited next to the first one. "I'm old enough to contribute, but nobody ever treats me as anything more than dead weight cause I'm the youngest. Look at Xana – she's only a few years older than me but she thinks she can treat me like...like...gah!" Mission exploded, angrily slamming a half-finished spike onto the workbench.

Canderous wiped the grease off of his hands with a nearby rag. "It's just a figure of speech. I know you're not a child; in Mandalorian culture, you would've been considered an adult a year ago. Seems like you're pretty capable as it is." He picked up one of the security spikes and held it in front of her face. "Pretty solid work, and fast too. Bet you'd probably give even Mandalorian techs a run for their money."

"Glad there's _somebody_ on this ship that doesn't think I'm just some stupid kid." Mission grumbled.

"You're not. Which is why you need to quit acting like one when it comes to Xana. She is your clan - your _ori'vod – _and you have to start treating her like it."

Mission screwed up her face and tilted her head to the side. "_Ori'vod_?"

"Yes. In _Mando'a_ it means 'big sister'. She's pledged to fight alongside you and take care of you. To shun her when she is still dedicated to making that promise good...it's a very dishonorable act."

"Canderous, she freaking abandoned me! You honestly think that when she tore off across those plains, she had any intention of coming back for me?"

"Did she ever say she _didn't_ have any intention of coming back for you?"

"Well...no."Mission admitted sheepishly. "She did leave her guitar on my bunk, and as far as I know, she never travels anywhere without it. It's like...the symbol of her life as a smuggler. So maybe she meant to say that I was now a part of that?"

"That's exactly what I meant to say." A voice sounded from the doorway. Mission looked up to find Xana standing just inside the swoop garage, arms full of armor and components. "I never wanted you to think I'd abandon you, Mish. Somehow, I would've figured a way to track you down once you got off-planet. But that's still not a good excuse for leaving you in the dark. At the very least, I should've left you a note or tried to take you with me."

Mission smiled and slid off the workbench. "Hey, no problem. What's done is done, right? And considering what Carth told us about your escape attempt, I'm actually kinda glad I wasn't with you."

Xana returned the smile and dumped her load on the workbench, ignoring Canderous' shouts of protest. "Truth be told, I'm kinda glad for that too. And, just to make absolutely sure we're friends again, I got you a little present." She rummaged through the pile a bit and dragged out Davik Kang's old armor. "I figured it would do well as a symbol of how you conquered your past and all. It's high quality stuff. You're gonna need it when you come with me on my final exam...hunting on the Dantooine plains."

Mission squealed with delight and rushed in to hug Xana, exclaiming, "Thank you, thank you, thank you! This is the best gift I've ever gotten! Not to mention I've been going stir-crazy in this ship and now I get to see you try out your awesome new Jedi powers!"

Xana laughed and turned to Canderous. "How 'bout it? Now that I've redeemed my honor and whatnot, you think you can re-size this armor for my little blue friend here? I've gotta make some mods to my jumpsuit before we head out."

Canderous shrugged and moved aside so Xana could use the other half of the workbench. "Sure, why not." he replied. "What're you doing to that thing anyway?"

Xana picked up a bottle of adhesive and a glowing purple strip. "I'm going to attach some black cortosis-weave flexiplast plates to the arms, legs, and stomach of this jumpsuit. Regular armor and Jedi powers don't mix, apparently, so I need something that moves a little more freely. As for the glow strips, well...it never hurts to add in a little extra awesomeness."

"Hnh. A little flashy for my taste, but whatever."

Xana grinned at the Mandalorian's bluntness and elbowed him good-naturedly. "So, you in for the trip? It's gonna be me, Mish, and the snipertard against a whole plains' worth of kath hounds."

"Do you even have to ask? I haven't seen any action since we blasted through Taris."

"Good to have you on the team then, _vod_."

Canderous started and his hands froze. He'd had no idea that the girl knew how to speak _Mando'a_. She sure as heck wasn't Mandalorian, and, needless to say, it felt strange to hear the word coming from an outsider. But then again, he _had_ told her that they were all clan.

And he had to admit, it was nice to hear the word _brother_ again after so many years alone.

* * *

TIME: 1700 hours

LOCATION: Matale Estate, Dantooine

Black-rimmed eyes scanned the horizon. The Jedi Masters had not been kidding; kath hounds swarmed everywhere. The setting sun cast their bulky profiles in shadow, making the task ahead seem ever more daunting.

A hundred meters away, several packs spotted the group and charged. Talon, Canderous, and Mission raised their blasters, but Xana waved them off.

"Stay still and be quiet. I've got this." Xana bowed her head and stretched her arms out at a slant from her body. She concentrated harder, reached deeper, until she could feel the kath hounds' pounding footsteps thumping in tandem with her own heart. The power welled inside of her and she focused on directing it to her hands, letting it build up…

Lightning began to spark from her fingertips. The kath hounds were now within fifty feet of the group and closing fast.

"Xana, whatever you're going to do, do it _now_." Talon urged.

She pressed her eyes shut, a bead of sweat trickling down her forehead. A pulsating purple cloud of energy began to waver around her. White-hot lightning shot across her hands, now clenched into claws.

The animals were all around them now; several had made their way up onto the ledges above, never breaking their run. They pounced, each and every one aiming for Xana…

-2-

"Everyone get down, NOW!"

Xana's hands shot outward. And then the sonic boom sounded. The lightning-infused Force push rippled out from her palms, sending each and every kath hound flying in a spectacular display of crackling purple energy. Before any of them could even blink, Xana was already flying through the air, lightsaber ignited, toward a pack of the creatures.

Her lightsaber was a blur, arcing through the air as she twisted and jumped. One wide sweep took out two of the creatures. She swiveled around, ending another with a flick of her wrist. Then she brought her arm back in front of her, using the momentum to create a powerful flurry that ended the rest of the herd. Talon watched, breathless. It looked as if she was drawing a an energy-infused wall of blue light.

Suddenly, she was just standing there, breathing deeply and staring dispassionately at the plains. Her eyes sparked, as if something buried long ago had been awoken and allowed to burst forth like a phoenix taking flight.

Talon ran up to her and exclaimed, "Xana! My gosh – that was amazing! I've never seen anything like that in my life! Are...are you all right?"

"Yeah, never better!" Xana replied breathily. She brandished her lightsaber again and twirled it. "C'mon. Let's see what this baby can really do!"

Xana used the Force to augment her speed and dodged in between two boulders. She came out in the middle of a kath hound pack. Before the animals could jump her, a barrage of blaster bolts tore across her vision and the nearest two fell. Xana grinned back gratefully at Canderous and Talon before executing a neat little Force jump. She landed squarely on the back of a kath hound, swiping it with her lightsaber. Then she jumped off, swinging her 'saber in a figure eight movement then fluidly flourishing it behind her back. The rest of the pack fell simultaneously.

Xana whooped with the thrill of battle. "That was awesome! I've never felt so utterly _alive_-"

Canderous grabbed her shoulder and roughly spun her around. Mission was just now squeezing through the rocks, looking with timid confusion at the scene before her.

"It doesn't matter how much power you wield, kid, you don't just go charging into unknown territory like that! You need to analyze and judge the situation before jumping into battle! Overconfidence on the battlefield will get you and your companions killed. I've seen it happen to many a Jedi who thought they were invincible." Xana mulled over this for a few moments and gave him a short but respectful nod. It signaled that she understood and would try to be more humble in the future. Canderous released her shoulder, nodding in return.

Heavy silence followed, until Xana caught sight of a glint on the other side of the grove. It was obscured by a few large boulders, but when she leaned to the side a bit, she realized that it was coming from a landspeeder.

A landspeeder with a Mandalorian helmet on the hood.

Xana paled and crept forward. She'd heard stories among the settlers about Mandalorian gangs that often raided the surrounding area. And they weren't too understanding of anyone who stood in their way.

The leader was rummaging through a small knapsack. Xana saw him pull out a small credit chip – and then a child's doll. He examined the toy for a moment before tossing it away, muttering, "Must've been what the little tykes were after when we swiped this. Ah well, they won't be needing it now."

The doll landed near Xana's feet, face-down in the dirt. It was no doubt the product of some mother's hours-long labor of love, and the treasured possession of an innocent child. What had they done to this family just for the sake of that one credit chip? Her hands tightened around her lightsaber and her face turned red with the injustice of it all. Beside her, Canderous growled furiously. He'd heard and seen the whole thing.

Xana stepped out from her hiding place and stared at the Mandalorian group defiantly. She bellowed, "Hey, you! Leave these settlers alone and learn some respect for human life! This atrocity is an insult to the very _word_ 'Mandalorian'!"

The leader just swaggered forward a few steps and taunted, "Isn't that cute. A little freedom fighter come to stand up for her people – heh, you'll learn the price of rebellion soon enough. Just who do you think you are, little girl?"

Xana activated her lightsaber and twirled it. "Your worst nightmare." She took a running leap and Force-jumped twenty feet into the air, lightsaber already poised for attack. Landing with catlike grace, she dispatched two of the group's Duros lackeys with several powerful swipes of her lightsaber. Twirling around, she ducked under the punch of another and thrust her 'saber forward. The first Mandalorian withdrew several vibroblades, and his second-in-command unholstered a blaster rifle.

Blaster fire erupted from behind the boulders. Canderous and Talon charged at the second-in-command, simultaneously dodging blaster bolts and laying down heavy return fire. The interruption distracted the leader long enough for Xana to deal out a powerful upward strike. To her dismay, it only cut halfway through his armor.

_Cortosis weave. And I'm guessing his swords are too. Oh shizznit, I'm gonna die._

The Mandalorian delivered an X-shaped blow with his swords. Xana parried both with with her lightsaber, ducking under his arms and twirling so she'd have a shot at his side. It pierced his armor slightly this time, and he let out an irritated yelp.

"You're going down, youngling." he growled. The Mandalorian let loose a barrage of random swipes, fueled by fury more than skill, but he had two swords and grossly outmatched Xana in strength. It was all she could do just to block the strikes aimed at her relatively unarmored torso. Finally, the outburst of heavy swings began to tire out the Mandalorian, and he paused for a fraction of a second. Xana took this opportunity and lunged at his middle. She managed to strike the spot in the armor that she'd damaged, and this time it went through.

Howling angrily, the Mandalorian landed a solid kick to her middle. Xana was sent sprawling on her back, gasping for breath. All of the wind had been knocked out of her, and her stomach hurt like heck.

The Mandalorian staggered towards her, one hand on his stomach. He raised his remaining blade.

"This ends now." he growled. Xana closed her eyes and turned her head away, steeling herself for the sound of the sword whistling through the air. All she heard was a rather loud _pew_ sound and a nearby _thud_. Heart racing, she opened her eyes to see Canderous standing over her. Xana sat up slowly. The Mandalorian was laying on the ground at her feet, now sporting the carbon scoring of multiple pot-shots.

"You...you killed another Mandalorian? For me?" Xana asked.

"He was a traitor." Canderous spat. "You're my clan. Simple as that."

Talon came running up and knelt by Xana's side. "Xana, are you okay? Did he hurt you?"

Xana closed her eyes and put a hand over her stomach. Everything seemed fine, except for a few bruises that would be sure to form. She did a rudimentary Force-heal and opened her eyes again. "Nope, I'm good. The flexiplast plating took most of the impact. Although, I'm definitely not gonna leave obvious openings out of desperation to win a fight anymore. That really hurt."

"I can imagine." Talon said. He and Canderous helped Xana to her feet, holding onto her wrists while she wobbled unsteadily for a bit.

"It'll be fine; let's just go exploring. Master Zhar mentioned something about crystal caves here. There might even be more kath hounds to fight on the way." Xana jogged off happily, energized by the prospect of another fight.

Talon just stared at the ground. He was utterly awestruck at seeing Xana like this. Gone was the light, sarcastic girl he'd come to befriend. In her place was a strong, calculating young woman who wielded mindblowing power and skill. He couldn't fathom the two being the same person, yet they were.

"Oh, snipertard!" she sang. "You coming or not? Last one there's a retarded gizka!"

Talon grinned and took off after Xana. Maybe he wasn't losing the real her after all.

* * *

Xana sat cross-legged in the center of the cave. Mission was perched next to her, avidly watching as she concentrated on the two open lightsabers in her lap. The first one, naturally, was her own. She had found the second one amongst a formation of red crystals. It was rather peculiar but definitely suited to her taste; it had a curved hilt, a scratched greyish-silver surface, and the handle was bound tightly in a strip of tattered black cloth. The frayed ends of this narrow cloth were tied together and dangled down like two forlorn little ribbons. It was very hardcore.

Carefully, she used the Force to lift the crystal from within its' dusty inner workings. As she expected, it was dark red. When the gem settled in her hand, however, it was as if a wave of pure coldness shot through her fingers and up her arm. Her reflexes kicked into action and she impulsively threw the crystal as hard as she could. It flew through the air and shattered on the cave wall.

Xana gripped her wrist, breathing hard from surprise.

"What was _that_?" Mission exclaimed. Talon and Canderous looked up briefly from cleaning kinrath goo off of their blasters.

"Nothing. I'm thinking that the crystal probably had dark side properties. I wasn't expecting it to be so...weird when I touched it, though. Almost like it was trying to get into me or something." Xana shuddered a bit. "But it's destroyed now, so the hilt's probably okay."

Using the Force, Xana transplanted her blue crystal into the hilt. Then, she snapped off a section of purple crystal from a nearby formation and placed it into her original lightsaber. She weighed both weapons in her hands. It felt strange yet natural at the same time; like the second one was a missing puzzle piece that was ultimately meant to be there.

Xana stood and dusted off her legs. "Let's go. It's getting close to dusk and I still haven't found this fabled 'grove' that Zhar told me about. According to my map, there's a circular clearing a hundred meters away."

"Sounds good." Talon agreed. The foursome made their way out of the cave and darted across the plains. Xana kept her eyes on the map; only looking up when they neared the clearing.

She held one hand up and began to circle the strange little structure. Boulders and carved pillars framed a mossy, overgrown center that was paved over with roughly-hewn stone slabs. The whole thing was overgrown with moss and emanated a distinctly dark-side vibe. Xana shivered involuntarily and looked around.

A creature sat in the middle of the clearing; it was a female Cathar, deep in meditation. Xana ran up to her, waving brightly. Maybe she knew where the taint was.

The Cathar awakened, revealing disturbingly bright yellow eyes. _Sith_ eyes. She rose up slowly, advancing toward Xana.

-3-

A feeling of dread rose up within Xana and she stopped in her tracks. Her danger senses spiked, and adrenaline began to course through her system.

The Cathar only smiled maliciously and lifted her hand. Xana glanced behind her to see Talon, Mission, and Canderous frozen in stasis. There was no way out of this fight now. She turned back to the Cathar, igniting her lightsaber and narrowing her eyes in a steely glare.

The Cathar lunged. Xana was driven back step by step by the verocity of her wide, sweeping attacks. The red arc of her lightsaber swept again and again at her torso; so fast Xana could barely pinpoint it well enough to block. Xana could only swivel her 'saber left and right in basic block movements; she dared not pause to reach down for her spare lightsaber.

Finally the two combatants locked swords. The Cathar began to press down on hers, easily overpowering Xana and slowly lowering their lightsabers toward her face. Xana tried to push back with all her might, but it was no use. She arched her back and drove her feet into the ground so hard it tore up grass. The Cathar just snarled and gave a sudden, harder push. She could feel the heat of the lightsabers above her cheek now. Time for drastic measures. Xana freed her right hand for a split second and, before the Cathar could bring her lightsaber down on her, let out a massive Force push.

Juhani's eyes went wide as she felt herself sailing clear across the grove. She let out an _'oof'_ sound as she impacted the cliffside; bristling her fur and closing her eyes. When she opened them a moment later, she saw Xana sprinting towards her with her lightsaber in a reverse Shien grip. Xana Force jumped a few feet, switching to an Ataru stance. Juhani rolled out of the way just in time. Xana's lightsaber left a curved, black scorch mark on the rock, right where her arm had been.

Juhani wasted no time. She lunged again, expecting Xana to block it using a double-handed parry to the right. Her blade met a second, blue shaft of light instead. Xana smirked and brought her purple blade around. Juhani broke the lock and ducked backwards to avoid the strike. As she went down, she leaned on her free arm and swept Xana's feet right out from under her.

Xana landed painfully on on her backside, but managed to deactivate her lightsabers and duck behind one of the pillars. All was silent for a moment while she caught her breath.

"Why are you doing this?" Xana rasped hoarsely. Juhani just stalked her grove in circles.

"Simple, my dear. This is my grove, my place of refuge in the dark side. This is the place you have invaded. It is MINE!" Juhani snarled. Newly enraged, she pounced in between the pillars and made another sweep with her lightsaber.

Xana was ready this time, and used both her lightsabers to block it. She executed a series of light, elegant flurries with each hand. The colorful zig-zags drove her opponent back for a few seconds, then only seemed to fan the Cathar's determination to win. Xana steeled her mind and set the cogs working; she needed to find some sort of pattern or strategy to work off of. For a while, both opponents engaged in a dance of sorts. Juhani struck out; Xana dodged and made an occasional jab with her lightsaber.

And then Xana had a breakthrough. Juhani wasn't using any sort of lightsaber form; she was merely striking out randomly and using the dark side to amplify her strength and imposing nature. Xana pressed forward, switching between Shien and Ataru. She blocked and parried long enough to give the illusion that she was tiring out. Juhani responded by hammering away at Xana's defenses in a crude pattern, trying to find a weakness. Then, Xana lashed out in a fearsome barrage of flurries and jabs that practically turned her forefront into a lightsaber rave.

Juhani staggered backwards, several burns lining the front of her robe. Seeing that her opponent had caught on to her 'smoke and mirrors' act, she took the opportunity provided by Xana's distraction and jumped nimbly to the top of the cliff edge. She crept toward the ledge overlooking Xana's stasis-frozen companions and taunted, "Come and get me now, Jedi."

Xana paled and her arms dropped slack. One jump, and this Dark Jedi could end her friends' lives in a heartbeat. If she defended from their midst, then the battle alone would wipe them out. Then again, Xana didn't have the feline reflexes needed to close the distance in time. Unless...

Xana deactivated her lightsabers and did a small Force jump, planting her feet on one of the pillars. She pushed off and did a somersault, landing higher up on an adjacent one. She ricoched back and forth, higher and higher, until her feet made contact with the top of a pillar. There was no room for hesitation now.

Using her momentum, Xana launched herself high into the air; as high as she could propel herself with the Force. When she felt herself reach the climax of her jump, she allowed herself to briefly open her eyes. The plains were at least fifty meters below her, yet she could still feel Juhani's amazement and fear creeping into her surroundings. _Gotcha_.

A small smile came over her face as she did a graceful somersault. Arching her body backwards and down, Xana activated her lightsabers again and began to twirl them as she descended. Her danger senses spiked and she could feel Juhani making a Force jump to meet her mid-air. Xana righted herself just as Juhani came arcing through the air. Xana sailed toward her and the battle continued on.

They plummeted for a few precious seconds, purple blade meeting red with equal voracity. Xana looked down; the ground was closing in fast. They'd both die if she didn't do something soon. So she did the first thing that popped into her mind. Deactivating her blue lightsaber, she built up a concentration of Force-energy beneath her and waited until the ground was within several meters.

Just as their feet touched the rocky center of the grove – _BAM!_ Xana drove her lightsaber into the ground, creating a shockwave that both cushioned Juhani's fall and sent the Cathar flying up several more meters. Xana used the Force to grip her flying form, slamming her against a nearby boulder and then against the rock wall.

Juhani slumped to the ground at the base of the wall. Her eyes fluttered slightly but Xana didn't give her the opportunity to begin the fight again. Xana used the Force to summon Juhani's lightsaber to her hand. She activated both lightsabers and crouched over her opponent, pointing them straight at her torso.

"Game. Set. Match." she panted.

Juhani groaned and held one hand over her stomach. "I thought I had the power to defeat any Jedi, even one such as you. But I was wrong. Please, just end it. End it now."

Xana's face softened; did this creature _really_ want to give up and die over one lost match? Pity welled up within her heart; as did disgust when she realized how foolish the system of life-and-death battles really was. Yes, this Cathar was her opponent and she was supposed to view her as a threat to her wellbeing, but didn't the Cathar see Xana in much the same way? "No." Xana declared. "I don't want to kill you. Let's...let's talk."

Juhani stared at her incredulously. "You come here, you battle me...and now you want to talk?"

"Yeah. The Council sent me here to, um, _cleanse_ this grove. And I thought, like, literally cleanse it, cause they're kinda fond of setting me on cleaning duty. But then I found you here, and right now I guess I just want to know why you turned to the dark side. Maybe I can help you."

To Xana's surprise, Juhani actually opened up and told her the story of how she turned against her Jedi Master at this very grove. Gently and slowly, Xana managed to convince her that the Jedi Council would still accept her back if she was truly repentant of her actions and had learned her lesson. After they had reached a consensus, Xana tended Juhani's wounds and spoke words of reassurance whenever she would momentarily doubt her decision.

Juhani exulted, "Thank you, master Jedi, for helping me back onto the right path."

"No problem. Though would you mind letting my friends out of stasis? I'm pretty sure they're kinda ticked off by now."

"Oh yes, I apologize." Juhani waved her hand and Mission, Talon, and Canderous all slumped to the ground. "Thank you again; no one has ever shown me that much kindness and understanding. I can only hope the Council will do the same."

"Don't worry. I'm sure you'll be fine." Xana reassured her. Juhani nodded and set off in the direction of the Enclave.

Xana turned back to her very stiff and sore companions. "Couldn't you have asked her to release us right _after_ you defeated her?" Talon grumbled.

Xana shrugged sheepishly. "It kinda slipped my mind."

Mission jumped up excitedly, stiff muscles completely forgotten. "And meanwhile, was that battle epic or what? Dude, getting to see that could've made up for whole _years_ of fighting! That was, like, the most amazing thing I've ever seen in my whole life, even better than action holovids...and...and..."

Xana grinned and placed a hand on Mission's shoulder. "Easy there, Mish. Don't wear yourself out; you'll get to see a lot more epic battles later on. Trust me." Mission took a deep breath and made calming motions with her hands, but she still kept bouncing on her feet from excitement.

"Nice work, kid. You're a very skilled fighter. It will be an honor to fight more battles with you." Canderous said, clapping Xana on the back. Xana beamed at him, recognizing that this was a very weighty compliment in Mandalorian culture.

The group began to walk back to the Enclave; Mission and Canderous leading, and Xana and Talon taking up the rear. Dusk had begun to fall, and the cold winds chilled them through their armor. "So...what did _you_ think of that battle?" Xana asked.

"Well...when the Cathar was about to jump us while we were frozen in stasis, I'm pretty sure I nearly peed my pants."

Xana laughed and elbowed him. "No, really."

"You want my honest opinion?"

Xana fixed him with an exasperated glare.

Talon sighed and placed his hand on the back of his neck. "I know for a fact that the mid-air fight alone would have killed anyone else, not to mention the rest of the battle. And the way you managed to convince that Cathar to turn back even though you had every right to get revenge...all I can say is that it was very, very impressive. I'm glad you're leading this mission."

Xana blushed slightly, glad that the darkness hid it. "Wow. Thank you." She scrambled for words to fill the awkward silence. "I would say that I didn't know I had it in me, but that would be lying." _Right, Xana, make yourself look like an arrogant jerk. That'll _really_ cement the bonds of friendship_, she thought sarcastically. _Geez, and here I almost forgot why I was antisocial to start with_.

Talon didn't seem to notice her mental tirade, though, so she tried damage control. "So...we never got to finish our race back there on the plains." _Agh! Stupid, stupid, stupid!_

"Oh yeah. Guess we'll never know which one of us is a retarded gizka." Talon smiled a bit.

Xana smiled as well. "Don't be so quick to judge, my friend. Last one back to the Enclave buys the other caffa?"

"So now you're asking me out for caffa, is that it? You know, there are better ways to do that than bringing up retarded gizka." Talon teased.

Xana's pale cheeks colored red. "You wish." she shot back. "I think you're just afraid to lose."

"Oh, you are so on. Go!"

Xana took off in a burst of Force speed, calling back, "You never said no Force powers!"

Talon rolled his eyes and sprinted after her anyway. Yep, he really was glad that she was leading this mission.

* * *

**Additional credit goes to writtenrhythm for beta reading this chapter! And thank you SkilletRox and writtenrhythm for reviewing the last one! You guys rock!**

**So there goes my first attempt at a fight-scene packed chapter...I rather loved writing the scene with Xana and Juhani. It's helpful to listen to Whispers In The Dark while reading it cause I came up with the battle sequence while listening to it. Same with Hero and the battle with the kath hounds and the Mandalorians. **

**And lots of Xana/Talon fluff. Those two are my favorite characters to write cause they fall in together so naturally and they can be adorably humorous without even trying. The scenes with the paint and the after-battle discussion practically wrote themselves, lol. **

**Please review, any comments or constructive criticism are appreciated.  
**


	14. The Masquerade Begins

Chapter 13– The Masquerade Begins

In the cave – Moment of the Day by Thousand Foot Krutch (-1-)

Ancient Temple – The Invitation & Welcome to the Masquerade by Thousand Foot Krutch (-2-)

Special surprise in the rubble – Mystery of You by Red (-3-)

Leaving the Enclave – She's A Rebel by Green Day (-4-)

* * *

(-1-)

The glow of the lightsaber crystals mixed together in a soothing myriad of light and color, illuminating the two figures sitting back-to-back in the center of the cave. Yellow light cast a glow over their calm faces, and their eyes remained closed as they listened to the peaceful melody of the underground river.

Xana sighed and opened her eyes. The cave never failed to take her breath away. It was like a little world in and of itself; nothing but the blending of light, dark, and the sound of rushing water seemed to exist while she was here.

_Blending of light and dark_...

Just like herself. Undeniably light-sided, yet showing unmistakable prowess in darkside or 'gray' Force powers. How was it that she couldn't hold a gizka in stasis for ten seconds, yet she could instinctively generate a maelstrom of Force lightning or a sonic boom with one Force push?

Was she like this cave, simply natural in the way these inner juxtapositions blended together? Or was there a reason that the Council had stressed the importance of conformation?

A second opinion couldn't hurt, and right now there was only one person she could ask.

"Talon?"

"What?" he droned tiredly. _Poor guy must have been nearly asleep, _Xana realized.

She hesitated a moment before asking, "Do you think I'll make a good Jedi?"

Talon cracked one eye open and shifted slightly. "Sure. You're a little unorthodox, but that's what makes you good at it." He smiled in the semi-darkness. "Though I have to admit your negotiation skills are sadly lacking."

"Hey! I couldn't help it!" Xana retorted playfully. "Shen and Rahasia were just like Romeo and Juliet! So what if I suggested that they were meant to be together."

"Dude. When their dads started to argue, you yelled 'SHUT UP!', then told them that they were overly-controlling psychos. _Then_ you started ranting under your breath about how the Jedi never make your job easy."

Xana winced slightly. " In retrospect, maybe that wasn't the best time to vent. Or to reveal that Matale had tried to bribe me."

"Yeah, not your best decision. Maybe we shouldn't be too surprised that they both have war droids patrolling their property for us?"

Xana sighed. "I _really_ wish I'd thought of that before I decided that midnight kath hound target practice was a good idea. But to be honest, how was I supposed to know that our waterfall was smack in the middle of Matale's estate?"

"Oh, I don't know. The map?" Talon reached into Xana's field pack and extracted their map of the local area. Above the topographical diagram of 'their waterfall' was a massive headline that read 'MATALE ESTATE'.

Xana rolled her eyes and pushed the map away. "Gimme a break. It's not my fault I can't read the word 'Matale'. Believe me, sitting in a cave to wait out a war droid patrol is not my idea of fun."

"S'okay, the cave's not that bad. It's kinda beautiful, actually." Talon replied. He added in a conspiratorial whisper, "And I wanted to spend some time with you anyway."

Xana felt her face heating up and she fidgeted slightly. "Umm...thank you?" she replied awkwardly.

Talon chuckled softly and leaned his head back slightly, mussing up the back of Xana's hair in the process.

"You never read me that book, by the way." Talon said randomly.

"Which one, Romeo and Juliet?"

"That's the one."

"Eh, wait till we're in hyperspace and bored out of our minds. We'll have plenty of time for it then."

"Fine." Talon agreed hesitantly. "At least tell me what it's about, though. You keep gushing about it whenever I bring up the Matales and Sandrals, and it's getting kinda annoying without knowing what you're even talking about."

"Okay, fine." Xana huffed. She paraphrased the entire story in great detail, actually having to stop and catch her breath at the end.

"What kind of messed up fairy tale is that?" Talon asked incredulously. "It's just not right. I mean, you'd think the families would appreciate two people selfless enough to end the feud. Or at least be considerate enough to leave them alone."

"Yeah. It's so sad how such a simple thing as stereotypes are so see-through yet they affect people's lives so adversely." Xana lamented. "It's like saying Shen and Rahasia couldn't possibly have a future over something as insignificant as their last name, or that a Coruscanti noble couldn't ever care for a common spacer, or that...that..." She furrowed her brow, trying to come up with another example.

She felt Talon's warm weight shift away from her back and heard the scuffle of dirt as he turned around to face her. "That a Jedi can't be with a Republic soldier?"

Xana's breath caught in her throat. Was it her or did the air in the cave just get a lot heavier?

Slowly, she turned around so she was facing Talon. He was sitting with his legs tucked under him and one hand resting on the glowing crystal formation next to them. Xana mirrored him, placing her hand near his on the crystal. Her eyes lingered on it for awhile, observing how the dim light turned their hands as pitch black as the craggy rock surrounding them.

Slowly, her gaze drifted over to Talon. Half of his face was cast in shadow, the other half brilliantly illuminated by the crystal. Something was different, though. His typical grin had faded into a stoic mask, and his usually expressive eyes were just...blank, but smoldering at the same time.

"Talon..." Xana murmured.

"Yeah," he whispered back.

"You...you mean that _hypothetically_, right?"

Talon let out a ragged breath and shifted forward a few inches. He seemed to steel himself before blurting out, "Xana, I -"

Xana's commlink beeped.

She jerked slightly and reached into her bag, only breaking Talon's gaze to press the activation button. Bastila's voice rang through the cave, "Xana, where are you? You've been gone since dinner and it's nearing midnight!" She heard murmuring in the background that sounded like a lot like Carth. "Oh, yes. Strangely, the lieutenant has been missing as well...perchance, would you happen to know where he has gone?"

Xana bit her lip nervously before replying, "Ah...Lieutenant Averra and I are on the Sandral estate. More specifically, the crystal cave on the Sandral estate."

She could hear Bastila letting out a long sigh on the other end. "And do I want to know why you two are alone in a cave?"

Xana blushed and answered sheepishly, "It's not what you think! I...ah...had a midnight craving for lightsaber crystals?"

"Xana!"

She rolled her eyes and scowled. "Okay, it was worth a try. We were getting some combat practice in on the plains, except we didn't know it was the Matale estate. Next thing you know, there's war droids coming at us left and right, and we didn't want to cause further trouble by destroying them. They chased us all the way to the Sandral estate, at which point _their_ war droids came after us. So we're waiting out the patrol in this cave."

Bastila let out a frustrated 'hmph'. "Well, this is a pretty little mess you've gotten yourself into. Now the Council will have to comm both estates to switch off their war droids. And in the wee hours of the morning, no less!"

"No, wait!" Xana exclaimed. "If the Council admits to our accidental trespassing, then the Matales and Sandrals might think they were sending us to spy on them! We barely escaped causing a civil war amongst the settlers last time, and to have them unite against the Jedi – it could _ruin_ the Enclave!"

"Well, what do you propose we do?"

Xana sighed in frustration and pursed her lips. "Keep the Council stalled and make sure the doors of the Enclave are unlocked for us. If we're not back in an hour, tell them to comm the estates."

"What are you up to?" Bastila asked suspiciously.

"Just trust me. Dakari out." Xana ended the transmission. She looked over the device at Talon, eyebrows raised in a silent question. "Now what were you going to say to me?"

Talon withdrew his hand from the crystal as if it had just burned him. He nervously placed a hand on the back of his neck. "Um...I was about to say that...yes, I did mean it hypothetically. What did you think I was going to say?"

Xana replied tersely, "Same thing, duh. Come on, we have to move." She picked up her bag and slung it over her shoulder, quickly walking to the entrance of the cave.

She crouched behind a rock while Talon surveyed the surrounding area with a pair of macrobinoculars. "All clear," he murmured. "Let's go."

The two teens ran out into the night, being careful to take cover behind rocks or biba trees whenever they heard the clanking of metallic feet nearby. Mile after mile, they sprinted across the grassy plains without trouble. They had made it all the way to 'their waterfall' when they heard patrols coming from either side.

"What do we do?" Talon asked breathlessly.

Xana glanced at the area frantically. "The bridge!" She grabbed Talon's arm and sprinted to the water's edge, unceremoniously pushing him into the riverpool.

As soon as Talon surfaced, she tossed him the bag before jumping in herself. They treaded water underneath the bridge as the droid patrol passed by.

Xana faked a Coruscanti accent and remarked, "Why good sir, we really must stop meeting like this."

Talon grinned and hauled himself up onto the bridge before turning around to help Xana. "Here." Talon shrugged off his wet jacket and plopped it onto Xana's shoulders. "I don't know if it'll do much good anymore, but it'll shield you from the wind, at least."

Xana staggered under the weight of the soaked garment, but clasped it around herself anyway. "And they say chivalry is dead." she drawled.

* * *

The doors to the temple slid open with an ominous scraping sound. Mist billowed out from the entrance, along with a gust of cold air that hit the group like a wall. It looked too much like a gaping maw for Bastila's comfort.

Xana stepped into the ancient structure, letting out a deep breath as she did so. The interior had to be about thirty degrees colder than the outside. She watched as steam puffed from her mouth and disappeared into the darkness. Bastila, Carth, and Talon stood just behind her, surveying the crumbling stone and intricately-carved walls.

"So what are we supposed to be looking for again?" Xana asked.

"I'm assuming you weren't paying attention during the last Council briefing." Bastila sighed. Xana shook her head. "I guess I shouldn't be too surprised. We're _supposed_ to be looking for clues as to why Revan turned to the darkside. In addition, a Knight that was dispatched to this location disappeared two days ago and we are also tasked with finding him. That being in mind, we should remain wary."

"Ah, okay." Xana replied absentmindedly, kicking at the mist swirling around her ankles. "Hey, what's behind this door?" She ran ahead to the end of the room and palmed the stone slab open, ignoring Bastila's protests. At the end of a long hall lay a strange-looking droid.

"Careful," Carth murmured, "It may be a trap."

Xana rolled her eyes. "Thank you, Admiral Ackbar." she droned sarcastically.

"What?"

"Oh, nothing." Xana replied, quickly stepping into the room. The droid whirred to life and began emitting a series of animalistic noises.

"Uh…hi there." Xana said. The droid only blinked at her and made a grunting sound that resembled a Tusken Raider. "What are you?" The droid replied in a series of fast clicks. Xana scrunched up her nose in frustration. "Okay, is it me or is this starting to seem a little pointless?"

"No, wait." Bastila cut in, stepping up next to Xana. "It appears to be cycling through a series of languages to find one that we can understand."

Right on cue, the droid began to speak in a series of watery gurgles that somehow made sense to Xana. "I can reproduce any of the languages spoken by the slaves of the Builders."

"Dude, I can understand what that thing is saying! It's…a really old dialect of Selkath, I think."

Carth cut in, "But why would a droid be speaking ancient Selkath?"

The droid responded, "Communication was vital to ensure that the temple was built according to the wishes of the Builders. But you are not like the Builders. Nor are you one of the slave species. You are like the ones that came before."

"It must be referring to Revan and Malak." Bastila mused.

"But who are the Builders?" Xana asked, "If the droid speaks Selkath, maybe they were the ones who constructed this temple?"

"The Selkath were only one of the known slave species." The droid corrected her. "My chronological circuits have recorded at least ten circuits of this system's outermost planet around the sun since the Builders left."

"But ten chronological circuits would mean," Xana screwed up her face as she tallied the numbers in her head, "Holy shizz! That's _at least _20,000 years! That would make this droid about 5,000 years older than the Republic itself!"

"There's got to be some mistake." agreed Bastila.

"There is no mistake. The Builders imbued my chronological circuitry with the same technology as the Star Forge."

"Hold up." Xana held a finger in the air. "What's the Star Forge?"

"The Star Forge is the crowning glory of the Builders and the apex of their infinite empire."

"All right, that sounds epic and all, but what does it _do_?"

The droid whirred and sputtered. "The…the Star Forge is the crowning glory of the Builders and the apex of their infinite empire."

"I don't think it knows." Carth remarked. "Maybe it's some kind of powerhouse, or a weapons factory."

"Mm, yeah. That would explain the seemingly endless Sith fleet pounding down on the Republic. So how do we find the Star Forge?"

The droid beeped and answered, "The ones who came before you sought knowledge of the Star Forge. They proved themselves worthy. There was one, however, who did not prove himself worthy." Its' photoreceptors swiveled to the corner of the room.

Xana looked down and jumped as she noticed a body not two inches from her left foot. "GAH! How did _that_ get there?" she screamed. She held a hand over her mouth, feeling slightly sick to her stomach.

"Ah, looks like we've found poor Nemo. The Council sent him to investigate the ruins two days ago and-" Bastila was interrupted by Xana's snickering. "Do you find some humor in this situation?" she snapped.

"Dude, seriously? The council sent us on a quest to _find Nemo_!" A big grin blossomed on her face.

"And is there anything particularly _special_ about that detail?" Carth gritted out.

Xana blinked. "You know what, just forget it."

Bastila began to question the droid about Nemo's demise, trying hard to ignore Xana's general weirdness. It was rather trying with the young girl quietly singing, "Just keep swimming, just keep swimming, just keep swimming, swimming, swimming…" in the background.

She turned her attention back to the droid just as it was saying, "Enter the proving grounds to the east and the west. Within them, those who understand the will of the Builders-"

"Wait a second." Xana interrupted. "Okay, so if he died trying to 'prove himself' in either one of those chambers...how the shizz did he get out here?"

The droid made a motion that resembled a shrug. "I cannot provide that answer. If you have any further questions, however, I am here to serve."

"Oohkay, that's more than a little freaky," Xana intoned, pointedly stepping around Nemo's prone form. "Ah well, so are we going to do this proving deal or not?" She sauntered up to the east door and paused, looking back at her companions to make sure they were ready. Carth shot her a nod and a reassuring half-smile.

(-2-)

Xana opened the door with the Force. A droid of the same alien construction as the Guardian powered up and began to shoot laser bolts at them. Xana charged forward and Force jumped across the room, carving a diagonal slash into the droid's side as she slid by on the stone floor.

She looked up, expecting to see it power down or explode. To her surprise, the lightsaber had only made a minute scratch in the droid's paneling. _Time to take out the big guns_.

Xana dodged sideways, swiveling around to lob a barrage of frag and ion grenades at the droid. The explosions seemed to temporarily confuse the droid's servos, and she saw her chance.

"Bastila, now!" she yelled. Both Jedi descended on the droid, peppering it with a flurry of furious lightsaber strikes. Talon and Carth hunkered down across the room, firing at the droid for all they were worth. All their efforts seemed to be in vain, however.

As she kept stabbing at the droid's plating, Xana looked down to where the droid's torso met its' legs. Between the two sections lay several rotating pieces of armor faceted around a tiny, blinking device. _Its' core. Bingo._ Xana noticed that whenever the droid rotated in a certain direction, the gaps in both layers of plating would line up in such a way that one could have a direct strike at the core.

She dodged and feinted every which way, trying to line up the layers of plating before the droid came to. It was too late. The droid's photoreceptors rotated in confusion, before it rounded on Bastila and spewed out a steady stream of cryoban. The Jedi Padawan was instantly transformed into a living ice sculpture.

It was time to end this now – the droid was officially too dangerous to play around with. Xana turned to Carth and Talon, screaming, "Get down! I'll handle this!" Ignoring their shouts of protest, she backed up a bit and Force jumped right onto the top of the droid's head. It swiveled around frantically, trying to buck her off, but she held firm. Xana waited, watching the droid's midsection carefully. _There!_

The gears lined up and Xana thrust her 'saber deep into its' mechanical insides. Almost like a kiddie ride from the nether-regions, the droid powered down and gently descended to the ground.

Xana's fingers slowly released their iron grip on the droid's head and she apathetically slid down to the ground. She meandered over to Bastila. "Is she gonna be okay?" Xana asked Carth.

Carth replied, "Yeah, I think so. That was a rather nasty blast but the effects of the cryoban should wear off in a few minutes. Are _you_ okay?"

"I'm fine." Xana turned to regard the computer console in the very back of the room. It was flanked by elegant sculptures and intricately-carved stone beams. To top off the effect, a shaft of light shone dramatically onto it. Xana tentatively approached the console, awed by both the décor and the ancient technology.

She paused, her fingers hovering over five blue-and-green screens. There was no slot for her special datachip and she couldn't make heads or tails of what was rolling by on the screen. Xana let out a frustrated grunt. _Only one thing left to do now_.

"Talon! Get over here!" she bellowed. Dust shook free from a few of the sculptures.

"What?" Talon asked agitatedly, coming up to stand beside her.

Xana pointed at the screen. "What does this say?"

Talon looked over her shoulder and furrowed his brow. "Xana, it's gibberish. I think the display or servos might be malfunctioning."

"Well now," Xana said smugly, "Let's see if we can't apply the universal computer fix." She swung her leg back and kicked the terminal with all her might. It was a lot more solid than it looked. Her eyes widened in shock before she reeled back, hopping around on her good foot and screaming at the top of her lungs.

Talon tried to calm her down and get her to stand still, but his pleas were drowned out by the litany of insults and threats she directed at the poor console. "Why you _di'kutla_..._kriffing_..._schutta_ piece of scrap metal, I am going to fragging-" Xana raised her hand and lightning sparked from her fingers.

"Wait!" Talon shouted. He pointed to the screens. "It's doing something." Xana instantly quieted and hobbled over to the console. More letters scrolled down the screen and the screen flickered. A datapad-sized drive opened. Reluctantly, Xana reached into her pack and inserted her datapad into the console.

It whirred and rumbled, then all the screens went blank. Xana tugged on the datapad, but it didn't budge. She tugged harder, eventually bracing her knee against the console and pulling with all her might. The datapad held fast.

"Agh! Give that back, you stupid hunk of junk!" she screamed, pounding the console with her fist.

Talon placed his hands on her shoulders and soothed, "Hey, take it easy. Remember, this thing's 20,000 years old so it's gotta be pretty slow. And look, it's working again." Xana glanced down at the center screen.

DATA INTERPRETATION:COMPLETE

LANGUAGE ANALYSIS: COMPLETE

INTERROGATIVE: IDENTIFY THE THREE PRIMARY DEATH-GIVING SEED WORLD TYPES

A list of options rolled out onto the screen. Xana read each one carefully, mouthing out each letter as her eyes roved over the choices. She reached out and touched the options 'Desert', 'Volcanic', and 'Barren'.

The console hummed and displayed:

BREAKING DEATH SEAL

Xana shrugged and powered down the console. "I guess that means we're done here." She turned to check on Bastila's progress. Bastila was lightly soaked from the melted cryoban ice and shivering from the frigid air. She saw Carth shrug off his jacket and offer it to her, but Bastila quickly shook her head and turned away primly. Xana smirked and called out, "Shall we? There's one proving room left and I wanna get this over with before dinner."

She sprinted out of the room and dodged past the Guardian, palming the west door open even before her companions had caught up. The room that awaited her was in a much more intense state of disarray; half of the ceiling had collapsed into the center of the floor. Xana augmented her speed with the Force and scaled the debris pile, using the momentum to launch herself into the air.

She landed with a _thud_ on top of the droid's head, but this one was much closer to the wall. It swiveled to the left and Xana had to jump off lest she be crushed. She began her little dance of feinting and dodging again, making sure to avoid the nozzle that spouted out cryoban.

Footsteps sounded to her right. "Wait for a gap in the droid's middle and open fire! That's where the core is!" Xana screamed, taking out both lightsabers to deflect blaster bolts.

Unfortunately, because of the debris, Talon and Carth couldn't get a clear shot from a safe distance. All four began fanning out and closing in on the droid, each waiting to strike at their own angle. Carth and Bastila attacked from a position close to the debris, while Talon jumped out into the open with Xana. A red light began blinking on the droid's core and it began spewing a jet of flames.

Everyone ducked, springing to their feet again when the droid switched back to laser bolts. Xana yelled, "Seriously? A _flamethrower_? Somebody's gonna get killed; I'm taking that thing out _now_!" She gestured for Talon to get to a safe distance. He nodded and sprinted to the side a few feet.

Xana was within five feet of the droid when its' head swiveled in Talon's direction. The red light on its' core began blinking.

Her eyes widened and she whispered, "No." She broke the charge, skidding on her heel and sprinting towards Talon. She jumped in front of him just as the droid let loose a massive burst of flames.

Carth and Bastila watched, horror-struck, as the two teens' forms were engulfed in fire. It swirled around them in a churning sphere before parting in an X-formation. Xana leapt forward from the flames and hurled her purple lightsaber mid-jump. It flew through the air, piercing the droid straight through its' core and pinning it to the wall.

Xana didn't stick the landing. Exhausted, she dropped to the floor on her hands and knees, still holding her red lightsaber in a vice-like backwards grip. Carth and Bastila rushed to her side, but she held up a shaking hand. "I'm fine guys, really." she slurred tiredly, leaning back and plopping down on the floor.

Talon just stood there, dumbfounded. His eyes were as wide as saucers and he took in heaving breaths, adrenaline still coursing through his system. After a few moments, he regained his senses and sprinted over to where Xana sat. Never breaking his run, he skidded to the floor and hugged Xana from behind.

She struggled to break free from his crushing hold, muttering, "What the frag, snipertard! What are you _doing?_ Let me go!"

Talon loosened his grip a bit and exulted, "You saved my life! Holy crap, Xana, I didn't even know it was _possible_ to block fire with the Force! How did you learn to do that?"

Xana gave up on struggling in her weakened state. She slumped down in defeat and snapped, "I never learned how. I just...did it."

"But how did you know you were going to?" Talon asked, confused.

Xana reddened and looked away. "Uhm...I didn't." _Great, chica. You just admitted you'd willingly throw yourself to certain death over this dude. The same one that's currently suffocating you and is unavailable for a suckerpunch cause you're too fragging weak. Way to keep your dignity intact, _Xana mentally berated herself.

"So then why did you jump in front of me?" he pressed further. Xana resisted the instinct to facepalm. She could _feel_ Bastila's disapproving glare on the back of her head, though that probably had more to do with their Force bond.

Xana desperately searched for an answer, but came up blank. All logistical inroads led to territory that she most definitely did _not_ want to cross into. "I...I don't know, really." she stuttered. "Instinct, maybe? I mean, I don't really relish the idea of watching an innocent civvie getting fried by a droid while I stand there and watch."

Talon let his arms drop and Xana promptly shoved them away. "Oh. Well, I guess that makes sense." he mumbled.

"Come now," Bastila cut in. "Enough of this. Xana, if you're feeling alright, would you mind unlocking the second console?" She turned to Talon as Xana got up. "Lieutenant Averra, I am glad you are unharmed..."

Xana turned away from the conversation and began fiddling with the console. Now that she was familiar with the process, unlocking the second seal went a lot more smoothly. Shivering, she reached into her field pack and pulled out her outer Jedi robe, wrapping it around her before turning back to the screen. She pressed the options 'Grassland', 'Oceanic', and 'Arboreal'.

The computer flickered and displayed:

BREAKING LIFE SEAL

"All right", Xana called, "we are good to go."

(-3-)

As they turned around to exit the room, Xana noticed a wrecked guardian droid near the rubble. She dropped to her knees and began to tear the armor plating off of it. "Just a little present for T3. Keep going, I'll catch up with you later," she called ahead.

"Very well." Bastila answered. Soon, the footsteps of Xana's companions faded away. The only sound that permeated the deathly silence was the sporadic clanging of metal.

Her task completed, Xana paused to look around the room. She observed that the droid laid a full foot away from the caved-in stone._ It couldn't have been crushed, so something had to have dropped in here and killed it. But what?_

Suddenly, Xana felt a strange pull coming from within the pile of stone. She leaned over and quietly lifted away a few of the stone slabs. Underneath lay a heavily-scratched gray object that Xana would've mistaken for another slab, had it not been for the object's metallic sheen. Slowly, she picked it up and brushed away the thick coating of dust that overlaid it.

It was a datapad! Xana turned it over and over in her hands, scanning the battered surface. It showed a lot of wear and carbon scoring. And judging from the dents in its' metal casing, it had been thrown under the rubble in a haphazard attempt to hide it. _But who would've wanted to hide it here?_, she mused._ According to the guardian droid, no one but Revan and Malak had ever been...oh frag. Ohhhhh frag. This can't be-_

Fumbling with the datapad, Xana hastily powered it on and watched the dirty screen flicker to life. Her eyes widened and her mouth dropped open slightly as her suspicions were confirmed. This datapad held everything she needed to solve the mystery of the Star Forge. And, quite possibly, everything she'd ever need to complete this ambiguous mission the Council had in store for her.

Xana faintly heard Bastila call her name and she looked back down at the datapad. After a moment's indecision, she hid it in her robe and ran out to join them.

This would be her own personal secret. She couldn't ever let them find what this datapad held.

The journal of Darth Revan.

* * *

"You must find the Star Maps on Tatooine, Kashyyyk, Manaan, and Korriban." Master Vandar informed Xana. She shifted from foot to foot, wishing that the Council had at least invested in some seats for their chamber.

"Sounds like a suicide mission to me." she replied bluntly.

Vrook scowled at her. "Ever brash, ever disrespectful. This is what we have pinned our hopes on?"

Xana rolled her eyes and crossed her arms. The datapad pressed against her side and she shivered involuntarily. Even with the layers of clothing between it and her bare skin, she still felt the cold radiating off of its' metal surface. That was just not natural.

"Something the matter, Padawan Dakari?" Vrook asked. Xana quickly shook her head no. His eyes seemed to bore into her, distrust seeping into the atmosphere around them.

Vandar looked at them both and cut in, "Peace, Master Vrook. As I was saying, although our numbers are stretched thin, we do realize the importance of this mission. Yet sending a group of Knights with you will attract the unnecessary attention of Malak and the Sith."

Xana shifted her weight again and replied snarkily, "Good. I do better working solo anyway."

Vandar continued patiently, "Still, it would be foolish to send you without any aid. We are sending Bastila to help you with your mission, and Juhani has asked to accompany you as well."

"Mkay. So I'm stuck with Bastila and the cat lady. And I'm assuming the rest of my crew gets to tag along as well?"

Vandar nodded serenely. "Yes, of course. They will be a great source of aid and strength to you in the months ahead."

"Okay, sure."

Vrook looked at Xana warily before dismissing her, "The fate of the galaxy is in your hands, young Padawan. We pray you are up to the challenge."

Xana deadpanned, "No pressure then, right?" She turned and made for the exit without waiting for a response. "Thanks for everything, guys. Peace out!" she called back, waving lightly.

* * *

In the Ebon Hawk's starboard dormitory, Xana shook her head in an attempt to clear her thoughts. Her conversation with the Council had been unusual to say the least. What was going on? She and the Council had been on relatively good terms the last few weeks, so why had she treated them like that without provocation?

Xana shrugged. It was hard to focus on etiquette with exhaustion weighing down on one's mind. Not to mention the irritating coldness seeping into her side...

Her train of thought stopped when she heard Talon call her name. Hurriedly, she stuffed the datapad under her mattress and ran out into the courtyard.

"What?" she asked curiously.

Talon shoved a pile of credits into her hand. "The Council told me to give you this. It's for supplies we'll need on the mission."

Xana looked down at the credits. "This has got to be at least two thousand! Why would they give this to me and not Bastila?"

"You're the one in charge of the mission." he replied. "So I guess that means you handle the credits."

(-4-)

A grin broke out on Xana's face as realization dawned on her. Her training was over. Now she was a free woman, in charge of her very first mission. _Oh sweet freedom, how I have missed thee. _Shoving half the credits into Talon's palm, she ordered cheerfully, "Get somebody to install two bunks in the storage room and one in the cockpit. Give two hundred to Bastila and Juhani for buying food, and fifty to Mission just for being awesome. The rest goes to ship upgrades; Carth can handle that. Oh, and tell Canderous and Mission to meet me out here for weapon shopping."

Talon mock-saluted Xana, running off with a smile on his face. She glanced at the credits in her hand again. _Oh, this is gonna be fun._

Hours later, Master Vrook stood on the Enclave's third floor, looking down at the landing pad. The Mandalorian and pilot were hauling nondescript crates onto the ship, while Xana stood on a food container and fiddled with a remote. The sharpshooter and Twi'lek stood behind her, both looking very skeptical.

Through the open window, Vrook heard the sharpshooter exclaim, "You installed strobe lights and a speaker system in the Ebon Hawk? _Why?_"

Xana retorted, "Because I had a hundred fifty credits left over from hocking all the mines and stims I randomly picked up! It could be useful someday, not to mention it's fragging awesome!

Vrook shook his head in disapproval. Master Atris walked up behind him, speaking softly, "Master Vrook, what is the matter? I felt your disturbance in the Force clear across the Enclave."

Vrook gestured to the landing pad and snapped, "Look down there. _This_ is the Jedi Order's last hope of defeating Malak?"

"Have peace." Atris replied. "She is very young yet, but she has a lot of potential and will mature in time. The Council sees great things in her, you know."

Loud, fast-paced rock music permeated the air, ending their conversation. Both Jedi Masters looked out the window to see the Ebon Hawk blaring with multicolored lights and Xana now dancing on top of the food crate. Over the din, Vrook heard her yell, "LIGHTSABER RAVE!"

True enough, she activated both lightsabers and began to twirl them around randomly. Both of her friends looked mortified for a few moments, then calmed down and began dancing as well.

Vrook facepalmed and muttered, "The Order is so screwed."

* * *

**Thanks to writtenrhythm for betaing this chapter! If you haven't already, be sure to check out her story "One More Time" - it's super epic!**

**Yep, Xana has found Revan's - or rather, her own - journal. I know what you're thinking: What does it hold? Will she find out who she is early on? Will Xana turn to the dark side because of it? All shall be revealed in time. (does happy plot twist dance) Hey, at least she found Nemo! (snickers)  
**


	15. I can't remember

Chapter 14 - I can't remember...

Songfic: When I Go Down by Relient K

* * *

"Dinner is ready!" Bastila shouted from the kitchenette. Immediately, the crew members of the Ebon Hawk came running from every imaginable room and direction.

"Come on, Xana! I'm starving – aren't you?" Mission pleaded. Xana still lay on her bunk, unable to tear her eyes from the datapad in her lap. She'd been in the same spot ever since they left Dantooine eight hours ago.

"Yeah, sure Mish. Go ahead without me and I'll meet you there." Xana waved Mission away, never looking up from the datapad.

"Oh no," Mission droned, "If I leave you here, you're not going to come out of your little cave until we reach Ahto City! Come _on_!" She tugged on Xana's hands playfully, giving the older girl one of her best puppy dog expressions.

Xana rolled her eyes, unable to keep the amused smile off her face. She grumpily allowed the Twi'lek to drag her out of bed and into the common room. When the smell of dinner hit her senses, however, she was immensely grateful for her friend's stubbornness.

Xana dodged ahead of Mission and grabbed a plate, filling it with as much food as she could get her hands on. She plopped down at the table, between Talon and Canderous. Then, she voraciously tore into her meal, alternating between stuffing her mouth and chugging down water like there was no tomorrow.

Bastila let out a deep sigh. Primly, she pursed her lips and set down her vegetable-stuffed roll. "Really, Xana, can't you pay more attention to proper mealtime etiquette? Didn't your mother ever teach you how to behave while you're eating?"

Around her mouthful of food, Xana replied, "Yeah, she did. Dunno what the point is though; I always thought that eating was about getting food in your mouth, not looking all prissy and composed while doing it."

Bastila grimaced, pointedly trying to ignore the stew smeared across the other Padawan's mouth. "I can't imagine your mother was too happy about that mindset."

"Nope. She wasn't. Made for a good family joke though. I remember this one time, me and my dad..." Xana paused, looking unsure all of a sudden. "We...um, we..." Her eyes began to dart around the table, almost as if she was searching for something. She shot nervous glances at the other faces around the table, licking her lips as she fumbled for something to say.

"I've gotta go." Xana finished lamely. She hurriedly wiped her mouth and pushed away from the table. She felt the light touch of someone trying to grip her hand, but she jerked her arm away and stormed into the computer room.

"Nice going, Princess." Canderous snarled. "Hadn't it ever occurred to you that a seventeen year old spacer, traveling _alone_, might just have been _orphaned_?"

All the other occupants of the table turned their gazes on Bastila. She tried to remain composed, though she couldn't hide the embarrassed blush that crept to her cheeks. "I did not intend to insult Xana, nor cause her grief," she murmured. "Perhaps when emotions are not running so high, I shall go and speak with her. As for now, what's done is done."

Xana slammed the door control button and made a beeline for the station in the corner of the computer room. Secluded spot, high-backed easy chair...it was a perfect place to hide while she gathered her thoughts.

She curled up in the seat, letting the tears run down her face. Not even the screens' familiar blue glow could soothe her. All of her childhood memories seemed to mash and meld together. Whenever she tried to recall something, it would seem so vague and utterly _transparent_ that she'd never be sure if it was real, or if she had made it up in her desperate search for a solid memory.

_What did Mom always scold me and Dad for doing at the table? Speed-eating contests? Throwing food at each other? Fencing with our silverware to see who got the last dessert?_

_Wait...what year did we start? I think I was five, no...seven. Wasn't Mom sick often when I was that age? Yeah, she was in the hospital all the time back then. So why do I have mental images of her laughing with us at the dinner table? Come to think of it, why can't I remember her laugh, or her smile, or her hair?_

Panicking, Xana racked her mind for any recollection of her mother._ Oh frag, all I can remember is her voice...her beautiful voice, but I just can't put it to a face. No no NO...I can't forget her...not my Mom..._

Xana buried her face in her hands, nearly choking on her sobs as her body racked itself with grief. How long had it been since she'd even thought of her parents? Had she been so wrapped up in survival situations and Jedi training that she'd never noticed her most precious memories fading away to an indistinguishable blur? Could she have salvaged her memory if she'd tried right after the crash?

_Of course_, she mourned to herself. _Whenever the human mind is damaged, it must reconnect neurons that were displaced. The most frequently used ones are the first to be established and strengthened. The rest are allowed to wither away._

"And now I've lost the only thing I have left of my family." Xana whispered. She pounded the console, sobbing, "Oh frag, I was so selfish. Please just - come back to me! Mom...Dad...please! Come back..."

Suddenly, she clamped her mouth shut and sat bolt upright.

Through the fog of pain and sorrow that clouded her mind, Xana hadn't noticed the familiar presence in the room until now. A spark of rage flared within her.

"How long have you been here?" she gritted out hollowly.

Talon stepped from the shadows, concern etched on his face. "Long enough. Xana, what's-"

"Be quiet." Xana spun her chair around and snapped, "I came here to be _alone_, you idiot, and now you come and see me like this! Can't I get _one_ private moment on this stupid ship, without inconsiderate _schuttas_ flying up my ion engine all the time?" She clenched her fists and screamed, "Just LEAVE!"

Lightning began to spark from her fingertips, and Talon backed away cautiously. He looked as if she'd just slapped him. The eyes that were once soft with friendly compassion had now turned cold, filled with barely-masked hurt and fear.

"Sorry, okay? I just wanted to make sure you were all right, but whatever. Deal with it the way you want." He turned to exit the room.

"No, wait!" Xana called out. She murmured, "I didn't mean it like that. I'm sorry...please don't go."

Talon turned back to her, eyebrows raised.

Xana covered her face with her hands, realizing how her last statement had just sounded. "I mean, I don't really care if you go or not, but...I'd prefer if you stayed."

"Okay," he replied suspiciously, coming over to lean against the console nearest to Xana. "Just no more lightning. Please."

Xana looked up at him, resting her arms on her knees. "Fine. Now what did you want to interrogate me about?"

Talon smiled at her reassuringly. "It's not an interrogation. Aren't you supposed be the one wanting to tell me what's wrong?"

"I...I can't remember."

Talon furrowed his brow in confusion. "You can't remember? Then why are you still upset?"

Xana rolled her eyes. "No, snipertard. I just realized I've lost my long-term memory as a result of that knock on the head I got back on Taris. I've got no solid recollection whatsoever of my childhood, my parents, or anything before I came to this galaxy." She thought back on all the months of drama and fighting for their lives. "Heck of a crappy memory collection to have, I know."

"Oh, Xana," Talon breathed. He looked at the floor, then back at her face. "I don't really know what to say."

_How about, 'I'm sorry'? Or 'That's okay, everything will get better'? Ugh, typical boy. It's like venting to a brick wall. _

_Well, at least he cares, right? That's gotta count for something. Not to mention he's here right now, and, as much as I hate to admit it, this is something I really don't want to go through alone._

Xana bit her lip and made up her mind. "Then don't say anything." she murmured, standing up and drawing him into a hug. She felt his surprise ripple through the Force, before he gingerly wrapped his arms around her.

_Okay, here goes nothing. _Slowly and reluctantly, she let the mental wall around her emotions crumble.

Xana began to sob, silently at first, then growing in intensity until she was shaking like a leaf. "My memories were the last thing I had of home." she whimpered. "And now it's all gone. All of it."

"Shh," he soothed, patting her back. "You'll be okay. I know it hurts right now, but it'll get better with time. I promise."

"But what does that matter?" she cried angrily. "Even if I do get over it – which I probably won't – now I've got absolutely _nothing_ to remind me I'm not alone in this galaxy!"

"You're not alone." Talon insisted. His tone softened as he added, "_I'm_ here, aren't I?"

Xana choked out a muffled, "Yes. Yes you are. Thank you."

Talon just stood there and let her cry, murmuring a gentle 'shh' every now and then. He didn't know how much time passed; it could have been a few minutes or a few hours, but still they remained locked in that embrace. Gradually, her ragged sobbing abated until she stood limp in his arms, taking deep, measured breaths.

_Maybe this isn't such a bad set of memories to have after all, _Xana thought. Visions of her and Talon - swimming on Dantooine, talking in Davik's estate, huddled together in the Outcast village – surfaced to the forefront of her mind. _All this time, I've never let anyone see me cry but _him_. And you know what? I think I'm okay with that. This feels…safe, somehow. Really, really safe._

Talon craned over to get a look at Xana's face. Her cheeks were red and streaked with wet, black trails, but her eyes were closed in peaceful serenity. He shook her gently, to make sure she hadn't fallen asleep. "Better now?" he asked softly.

Xana opened her eyes dreamily and murmured, "Mhmm." She stepped away and dabbed at her eyes. "Oh, frag… you'd better not tell anyone about this. Ever."

Talon grinned and placed a hand on his chest. "Cross my heart."

Xana pushed her hair away from her face self-consciously. "Okay, thanks." As an afterthought, she added, "You know, you're really good at this."

"What?"

"I dunno, comforting people. Most guys I've met don't even know what to do when someone starts crying."

Talon looked away uncomfortably. "I, uh, I had a little sister back on Telos. She was the sweetest person you'd ever meet, but delicate like you couldn't even imagine. Heck, if she saw a butterfly die she'd burst into tears. And you can guess who she always came running to no matter what bothered her."

"Oh my gosh, Talon. I'm sorry…I never knew."

"S'okay. Doesn't really bother me anymore."

An awkward silence fell upon them, which was quickly interrupted by a knock on the door. Bastila and Carth entered. Each of them carried a plate of food.

"I thought you might like something to eat." Bastila said softly. "I really didn't mean to upset you at dinnertime; I had just not thought of the possibility that you might be…you know. But it was a careless oversight on my part and I apologize."

Xana took the plate with one hand, hugging Bastila with her free arm. "It's all right. I mean, it's not like you could've known I had amnesia."

Bastila coughed nervously, "Yes, well…" She seemed to be struggling for words, so Carth cut in, "You sure you're okay, kid? You look like heck."

Xana grinned and hugged him as well. "Thanks for asking, but the lieutenant over there has already handled things. So I'm guessing we're cool again?" Carth nodded, smiling back as she released him.

"Well, now that that's all over, how about you and Talon sit down to eat? You two have got to be starving; the rest of the crew's already gone to bed."

"No, I'm too keyed up to eat. I think I'll just go to bed, maybe write in my datapad a little." Xana set the plate down on the nearest console. "Thanks anyway, guys."

She turned around to hug Talon one last time, closing her eyes happily as she nestled her cheek into his jacket. "Night, snipertard."

Before anyone could do so much as make a remark, she bounded down the hall, calling back, "Night Carth, night Bass."

"Goodnight." they both answered simultaneously. Carth turned to Talon and offered him a plate. "Here, don't you want any dinner?"

Talon shook his head no, absentmindedly staring down the corridor. "Nah," he replied dreamily, "I think…I'll just stay in the cockpit awhile. To think and whatnot." He shouldered past Carth and Bastila, entering the cockpit and palming the door shut.

The two adults traded nervous glances with each other, both speaking what was on the other's mind.

"Oh, no."

* * *

**Oh, yes. Big thanks to writtenrhythm for betaing this chapter and the last one on the same days I sent them, and writing very good beta reviews even on such short notice. You rock!  
**

**Okay, I shall be on vacation from now until the end of January, and when I get back I'll be ten days late for my new semester. So this fic is officially on hiatus until February 2011 at the very earliest. Sorry bout that, and hope you have a Merry Christmas!  
**


	16. Past Reflections

**Chapter 15, Part 1 - Past Reflections**

* * *

**Ages of characters in the flashback:**

**Xana- 12**

**Malak – 23**

**"General Drako" aka. Jedi Exile - 17**

* * *

Soundtrack:

Xana's first battle – It's My Life by Bon Jovi, Outta Control by Thousand Foot Krutch

* * *

Talon paced through the twisting corridors with military efficiency. _Clunk, clunk, clunk. _The soft rhythm soothed him slightly, suppressing his ire and allowing a smile to bubble up when he palmed the cargo bay door open.

Of course she would be in the very last place he thought to look.

Xana sat atop a pile of plasteel canisters and crates, wedged in the very furthest corner of the room. She was currently clad in a rather funny-looking knitted cap with pom-poms on the ends, a baggy black hoodie, tight black leggings, and, to top it off, a neon-green pair of shorts. Her face was bare save for a tiny remnant of mascara around her eyes.

She had her feet propped up on another container and was intensely focused on a datapad in her hands. Upon further inspection, Talon noted that it was a computer hacking manual. He rolled his eyes.

Some things never change.

"Xana?" The girl's eyes snapped up, registering his presence with surprised alarm.

As discreetly as possible, Xana adjusted Revan's journal so it was more neatly hidden behind her copy of _Advanced Computer Slicing for Di'kuts_. "What?" she snapped, angry at having been interrupted in the middle of a particularly interesting entry.

"I just wanted to let you know that we'll be dropping out of hyperspace in about fifteen minutes. You might want to strap yourself down or go somewhere you can brace yourself."

Xana waved him off. "It can't be_ that _bad. I'll be fine."

"No, seriously, I really think you should at least move or you'll go flying."

"Dude, I _slept_ through our first drop at Dantooine!"

"You could sleep through a bantha stampede!"

Xana opened her mouth to make a retort but changed her mind, realizing he was probably right on that last point. She settled for rolling her eyes. "Can you please just go? I'm trying to read here."

Talon shrugged. "Kay, have it your way." He turned and left the cargo bay, not even bothering to close the door.

Xana wasn't worried that she'd hurt his feelings. In the weeks they had spent together in hyperspace, he had become accustomed to her reclusive habits, abrasiveness, and mood swings. At first he had been politely shocked by her behavior, drawing away from her and tiptoeing around the ship so as not to disturb her. Somehow, though, as the hours and days ticked by, he had learned to live with it.

Still, he remained frustratingly impassive. As the dull tedium of hyperspace travel wore the two down, playful banter was replaced with light arguments. Warm smiles faded away to blank stares. She kept to herself in the computer room, and not once did he he ever come back to talk to her. If there was anything Xana knew for sure, it was that whatever they'd had on Dantooine was most likely snuffed out by now.

_And another one bites the dust_, she thought to herself casually. _It's not like I'm unaccustomed to it anyway – it does leave more time for reading, after all._

Xana turned her gaze back onto the journal, remembering the story she had wanted to badly to finish. Whispering the words, she began to read.

"Dear Journal. This is so exciting! After endless months of being confined to the meeting room and playing the role of the demure, silent kid, I finally got a chance to prove my worth. I came up with a particularly innovative tactic for the ground battle, when all those seasoned veterans (and Alek) were completely stumped. And what's more, I may get to fight on the actual field for the first time! Admiral Karath says the space battle during this engagement will be at least twice as dangerous as the one planetside, so I'll be safer on the ground as opposed to waiting in my cabin. I looked at my big brother expectantly. I knew this would win him over, what with his being so ridiculously overprotective of me and all.

Alek wasn't too happy about this turn of events, but I tried my best to reassure him that I'd been practicing my Force powers. I think he'll be surprised at what I can do on the battlefield now. In the end, he finally said I could go. Tomorrow we leave on his gunship. We're going to drop right onto the battlefield! I barely kept from bouncing up and down with excitement, but I had to cause if he sees me being childish, he might change his mind. I really wish I didn't have to watch everything I say and do cause of my age, especially after today..."

* * *

_Alek's fist came crashing down on the table with a shockingly loud bang. _

_Xana dodged further behind the doorjamb, jade green eyes widening at the noise. Silently shuffling back, she tucked her Jedi robe more firmly around herself and pushed back her long, wavy hair. Inconspicuousness was the key. The meeting was just getting good, and though she was welcome in the conference room, she still knew that they would not speak as freely when she was present._

_Alek was ranting full-force now, his massive bulk hunched over a plethora of holograms and surrounded by intimidated-looking military officers. Despite their calm facades, they had very clearly inched away from the towering man. Something important was happening – something she had to see up close._

_Xana, even though she barely came up to Alek's chest, had no fear in sidling up to him and peering over his forearm. He continued to scream, "This is the best you geniuses can come up with! After all this time, you still think we should blindly charge through that enemy-filled ravine and get picked off one by one?"_

_A lanky, middle-aged officer timidly replied, "Sir...this is the only route to the remaining Mandalorian territory, and it's flanked by two large plateaus. Surrounding it is miles of thick jungles and nearly un-navigable terrain. Going around would mean abandoning our heavy artillery cannons just to traverse the ground, and that would mean certain defeat upon reaching the base. However, if we do charge through, there's only a 50-50 chance that our numbers will be too thin to pursue the remnants of the Mandalorian forces." _

_Alek snarled, "That's not good enough! We can't afford to take chances now, especially with no hope for reinforcements! There has to be some angle we can work, some sort of tactical advantage here!" He gripped the table in frustration, spreading his arms out so he could lean forward to survey the holographic image more closely._

_Xana continued to stare at the rotating hologram, trying to make sense of it. In the blue-tinted image, two cliffs parted sharply in a V formation, at the bottom of which were an impressive number of red dots. Among them were symbols indicating heavy guns, tanks, and food and weapon stores. On the other side of the ravine was red-tinted ground, signaling the remaining enemy territory in this region. _

"_You're right," she murmured, finally daring to speak up."Stop the image." The hologram stopped rotating, with the ravine directly facing Xana. She pointed to the plateaus. "These are traversable, right? As in, there are little ridges along the sides that can be used to climb up?"_

_Admiral Karath spoke up, with just the tiniest hint of condescension in his tone. "Yes, I believe so."_

_Alek turned to glare exasperatedly at Xana. "Roxie, sit down and leave the strategy to us. This isn't your problem."_

_Xana placed her hands on her hips, __opening her mouth to let out a barrage of snappish retorts__. Alek smacked his forehead. Now was not the time for this..._

"Hang on. Let the little lady speak." Xana_ stopped and__ looked at her advocate with surprise. This was the first time this man had spoken all meeting; like her, he had just been watching with quiet boredom. She noticed he had brown hair, friendly eyes that crinkled at the corners, and a slight five o' clock shadow. His voice was tired but soft, and he smiled at her encouragingly. _

_Alek rounded on the man. "Commander Onasi, would you mind-"_

_He raised up his hands placatingly. "Just hear me out for a second, General. I mean, it's not like we're getting anywhere with the way things are currently going." The other officers nodded in agreement. "Who knows, maybe something she says will inspire a breakthrough."_

_Alek exhaled sharply through his nose. "Okay, __fine. Go at it, Roxie."_

_All eyes turned to Xana. For a moment she felt grounded to the floor with pressure; all these important men were listening to her every word, expecting her to either make some grand contribution or fail miserably like the little girl they thought she was. She bolstered her courage and plunged ahead._

"_Well, as you can see, the plateaus are clearly unoccupied. They serve a purpose as a natural barrier. But, um, if you look here," she fiddled with the display controls so they had a bird's eye view of the terrain, "you'll see that anyone on top of the plateaus has a clear shot at anything in the ravines below. And, as a bonus, not only will enemy forces have limited visibility and poor range, they will also have to climb the cliff walls to reach us. Then we can defeat them as they either scale the walls or are climbing over the edge."_

_Admiral Karath was wearing a forced smile. Tone dripping with false sweetness, he replied, "But my dear, how will we get our heavy artillery up there, provided our men survive scaling those walls themselves?" _

_Xana stated coolly, "It will take time, effort, and stealth, but we can disassemble and reassemble portions to be carried on the soldiers' backs. The rest can be hidden in the jungle and, once the__ enemy__ start__s__ climbing, we can use those on either the facilities that will be left unguarded, or the enemy troops themselves._"

_Commander Onasi piped up, "But our forces are too small to be divided up. They'll be overrun too easily."_

"_Which is why I propose_ _putting the bulk of our troops on the left plateau, and stationing Alek and I on the right with a much smaller squad. We should be able to defend easily enough. Are there any other Jedi available to aid us?"_

_"There's General Drako, but her ship is still in transit. She won't get here until mid-battle, at best."_

_"Okay, then we'll just have to make do with what we have. In order to get the equipment set up in time, our troops would have to deploy tonight. So that means we would have to decide now if we can hope to even consider this plan. Any objections?"_

_A cacophony of protests and remarks erupted throughout the conference room. Some shouted out, none too kindly, that they couldn't possibly be considering a child's strategy. Others chose to rant on the foolishness of wasting their few remaining troops on such a venture. Still others fought to retain order._

_The room quieted, however, when Alek straightened his posture and made to speak._

_Much to everyone's surprise, he shrugged. "Looks like that's about the most solid plan we've heard all night. I guess it would improve chances of victory, provided it works of course."_

_Commander Onasi added, "I'm all for it. It's risky, but it's a lot better than charging into a deeply entrenched enemy camp with so few troops."_

_Admiral Karath sighed in resignation. "Well, Carth, if that's what you think, I suppose it couldn't hurt to try this strategy. I vote yes."_

_Reluctantly, the various officers around the room began to echo the sentiment. Xana beamed with pride, but Alek's eyes suddenly widened when it hit him._

_"Wait, did I just hear you say that _you_ were going to serve as a line of defense with minimal backup?"_

_Xana rolled her eyes. "I've gotta have my first battle sometime - why not debut my awesomeness in a blaze of glory? Besides, I planned the fragging battle!" _

_Eventually, Alek had caved and allowed her to join. Before Xana knew it, she was staring out the open hatch of his gunship at the battlefield below. Ready to descend into absolute chaos._

_Fighting had already erupted. Her troops were already hunkered down in the very center of the right plateau, and she could see a group of Mandalorians emerging over the edge of the far side. They were falling amongst the dazzling myriad of blaster bolts, but somehow they still managed to press on. _

_The ship hovered a few hundred meters above the battlefield. This was the closest they could get without being shot down. Wind whipped Xana's hair around and she felt her stomach sink like a lead weight as she observed the height she would have to jump. Alek spared her a worried glance._

_"You sure you want to do this?" he asked, screaming over the ship's turbines._

_"Yep. I'm sure." Xana hollered back. She grit her teeth and clenched her fists. _

_With an almost superhuman effort, Xana willed her legs to start working. She sprinted towards the open ramp. First there was the steady, almost robotical, pounding of her own feet against durasteel, then one almighty jump, and then...nothing. Xana gasped when she felt her feet leave solid ground and found herself free-falling towards the jungle. _

_Glancing to the side, she saw Alek plummeting right next to her. His body was straight and rigid, gaze fixed firmly on the target. Xana tried to copy his posture as best as possible. Suddenly, an idea popped into her mind. She began twirling through the air like a deadly, graceful projectile, whooping like a madwoman as she did so. She barely heard Alek shout, "Enough playing around! Use a Force push to break your fall, now!"_

_Xana righted herself and let out the biggest Force push she could muster. Immediately she felt an updraft of air that slowed her down considerably. _

_"Again!" Alek yelled, and Xana complied. They slowed their descent to a couple miles an hour. The ground was coming in awfully fast..._

_Alek and Xana hit the ground one after the other, sending up a small plume of dust. It cleared away in moments, revealing two Jedi in combat stances and a whole lot of surprised troops. They had fallen right onto the front lines._

_Xana was immediately overwhelmed by the chaos and volleys of blaster fire that enveloped her. Instinctively, she brought her lightsaber up to block the blaster fire. There were too many shots. She found herself just waving her lightsaber around in a frantic arc, trying to deflect them all. _

_She dimly heard Alek command, "Find cover!" and didn't hesitate to run behind the first barrier she saw. The soldiers hunkering down behind the mass of durasteel shifted to make room for her. She dove, skidding along the ground until she felt herself impact another person. _

_Looking up, Xana was pleasantly surprised to find herself beside none other than the Commander she'd met last night. He looked down at her and a matching look of surprise crossed his face as well. _

_"General!"_

_"Hey there, Commander Onasi. What's the situation?"_

_"Well, for starters, their numbers are a lot bigger than we expected and we're starting to get boxed in. And our men can't take out the heavy artillery or communications cause they keep getting downed whenever they get near the edge."_

_A devious look crossed Xana's face. "I'll handle it." Before the commander could stop her, Xana leapt right over the barrier and past the front lines._

_Alek watched with barely-disguised horror as his little sister charged straight into the Mandalorian troops, clearing a swath with a powerful Force push and a few flicks of her lightsaber. "Oh no..."_

_Oh yes. Xana plunged right off the edge of the cliff, doing a neat little somersault and landing on one of the ledges below. She ran its' length, slicing Mandalorian grappling cables as she went. Xana ground to a stop when she was right above__ the base camp in the middle of the valley._

_The Mandalorian troops never knew what hit them. _

_Xana stealthily dropped behind a storage shed and took a long look at her surroundings. Crates of ammo and heavy artillery guns were scattered about the camp, in convenient proximity to the armories and communications base. Xana sheathed her lightsaber and held her hands up, concentrating with all her might._

_Suddenly, a massive missile launcher lifted off the ground and was flung into several armored vehicles. Storage crates full of highly explosive ammo did the same, randomly jumping up and flying into the armories and other buildings. Now there was only one left..._

_Xana threw her arm back and Force-jumped, neatly clearing the top of the explosion as her cover was incinerated. She landed right in the middle of the camp and smirked. The place was in ruins. Mandalorian troops stopped their frantic scurrying and turned to point at her._

_One yelled, "It's a Jedi!"_

_Xana activated her lightsaber and called out, "What was your first clue? Bring it, Mandies!" She sounded a lot more confident than she felt._

_Two soldiers charged at her first. She sent them flying back with a Force push. Another was clotheslined with a leftover storage container, and three more were literally picked up and flung away. Xana ducked under the strike of another and pushed him away in a panic. The enemies were getting too close!_

_She barely brought up her lightsaber in time to block a strike from the next soldier. He batted her blade away with his own, as if it were a mere toy. Xana brought it up again, augmenting her strength by infusing another Force push into her blow. It worked all too well. The soldier fell. _

_Something landed with a thud next to her. Instantly, Xana sensed the reassuring presence of her dearest friend. _

_Alek swiveled around so they were back to back, batting away Mandalorians as if they were flies. Xana marveled at the fact that he barely even needed to use the Force. She, on the other hand, had to make a massive mental push every time she dealt out a strike. Her blows were slow and sloppy, but equally devastating. Each strike was accompanied by a dainty little grunt - the sole evidence of how much this technique wore down on her._

_"What are you doing?" Alek screamed over the din of battle. "Our troops up there are gonna get overrun!"_

_"Yeah, and they were all gonna get picked off anyway if I hadn't taken out the camp! And you're welcome, by the way!" Xana snapped._

_Alek chose not to respond to that. He only growled and replied, "Come on, let's just get back up there!"_

_"Don't need to tell me twice!" Xana and Alek broke formation, using their lightsabers to block blaster fire as they ran. backed up, climbing as soon as he hit the cliff wall, but Xana ran back to her original landing site. She executed a Force jump so high it almost hurt, scaling half the plateau in one leap. Two more bounds and she found herself back in the midst of her troops._

_The group she was with had been driven back to the very edge of the cliff. Xana noticed a few more pockets of soldiers amongst the mayhem, but it was impossible to get to them. _

_She recognized the familiar form of Commander Onasi in her own group, and ran up to fight alongside him. His face was drawn and serious, but his eyes softened when he saw her arrive at his side. _

_"You took care of them." It was more a statement than a question._

_"Yep."_

_He nodded grimly, still focused on the battle. His skill with blasters was remarkable; the man was churning out countless critical shots every minute. Still, more Mandalorians enclosed their troops. The soldiers around them fell one by one, until it was almost the two of them left._

_"Doesn't look like it'll do much good now."_

_Xana stood back-to-back with him now. She alternated between shielding them from blaster shots and delivering crushing melee strikes. "Don't say that." she gritted out. "I've got your back. We can do this!" _

_For the first time, Carth Onasi was shaken to the core by foolhardly loyalism. This diminutive little girl was bent on protecting him just as much as he was determined to protect her. The very thought drove him to fight harder than he'd ever known he could. _

_Of course, it greatly helped morale when the little Jedi paused and swept away a near-battalion of troops with a single Force push._

_Xana's mind had switched into survival mode. The fear coursing through her veins had been replaced by rushes of adrenaline, and she no longer had to concentrate hard to use her Force powers. _

_She lifted up a Basilisk war droid and flung it toward herself, throwing her lightsaber up to meet it mid-air. It pierced through the control center and caused it to explode. While her lightsaber was sailing back, she deflected blaster bolts with her palms. _

"_There's too many!" Commander Onasi shouted. "We'd need a miracle at this point!"_

_Xana just pursed her lips and kept swinging her lightsaber. She was determined to make it through or die trying._

_Just then, the distinct hum of a gunship sounded from above. Xana looked up just in time to see a viridian-and-silver flash of light spiraling towards the surface. _

_It hit the ground with an impressive sonic boom, clearing out all the Mandalorian troops within a several-meter radius of its' drop site. An older Jedi Padawan emerged from the dust plume. Her lightsabers were blurry arcs, moving through the air with such speed and accuracy that she'd razed through half an enemy batallion in a matter of moments._

_The other Padawan made her way over to where Xana was fighting. _

"_General Drako?" Xana asked._

"_That's the name! Where's Alek?" General Drako shouted back, never breaking her combat pattern._

"_Over on the other side!"_

_General Drako peered around to get a look at the other end of the plateau. Hundreds of Mandalorians stood between them and Alek's troops. She growled in frustration and turned to Xana. _

"_You know how to do Force Lightning, kid?"_

_Xana's eyes widened and she shook her head quickly. "That's a dark side power!"_

"_Technically, no it's not. But I don't have time to argue specifics. Just pay attention!"_

_Xana's vision went black. As if a holovid was playing behind her eyelids, she found herself standing in General Drako's shoes. She watched as the other girl's hands came up. A torrent of energy seemed to build behind them – almost like a Force push, but with more heat. Suddenly, a volley of Force lightning danced across the battlefield._

_Xana blinked and her vision returned to normal. The ground in front of them was still charred and smoking._

_General Drako ordered, "Now just copy what I did!"_

_Xana shouted, "I'll try!" She held out her hands and concentrated with all her might, envisioning crackling rivulets of energy. Her fingers began to spark and she concentrated harder. Suddenly, a massive torrent of lightning shot from her palms and over the enemy troops around them. Xana fell on her backside from the impact of it._

_Commander Onasi hauled her up by her arms, looking at her worriedly. "You okay? That was some kinda trick you pulled."_

"_I'm fine."_

_General Drako took hold of Xana's wrist and pulled her to the middle of the battlefield. "Come on! Do a Force jump with me...we're gonna fry 'em from the sky, kid."_

_Xana nodded and leapt into the air alongside General Drako. Both women held out their hands, and Xana tried with all her might to generate another bout of Force lightning._

_The battlefield below them erupted in a sea of flashing light. Xana could just barely make out the shapes of her troops covering their eyes and the Mandalorian soldiers falling to the ground. The light was so bright..._

_Xana began to see stars. She could just barely feel herself begin to fall._

_The lightning stopped, but her world kept spinning. Xana closed her eyes to block it out. For a few crucial moments, time seemed to stop and everything was quiet._

_Then, suddenly..._

_WHOMP._

_Xana's world went black.

* * *

_

Her hands tightened on the edges of the journal. Stomach churning and heart pounding, she continued to read aloud.

"Alek was mad at General Drako for awhile. He said she should've never made me practice a Force power on such an intense scale, especially right after teaching it to me. I didn't mind the fall too much, even if I did get bruises all over my left side. And Commander Onasi's here in the med tent too, so at least I've got someone to talk to. He's not hurt too bad. Just got clipped in the arm by a plasma bolt. He says he's got a son around my age, and once the war is over maybe he'll bring him to a Republic ceremony so he can meet me. I hope I get to be friends with him someday; he sounds nice.

I saw General Drako again today. She came to check up on me. I never got a chance to get a good look at her before, but now I'm sure that when I grow up, I want to be just like her. She was really pretty, with a green-and-black armored bodysuit and long hair shredded up into so many layers. And she just has this imposing air about her that seems almost queenly, somehow. She asked me what my full name was, and when I told her, she just got this sad smile on her face and told me to rest. I suppose I should now. Maybe I can get Commander Onasi to show me some holopics of his wife and son..."

The entry cut off there. Xana sat in shocked silence. _Carth had fought alongside Revan? Did he even know who she was after she donned the mask and cloak?He had a flipping _kid _and never bothered to tell us?_

_And more importantly, Revan was just a kid herself? _

Xana didn't have time to ask any more questions, though. The Ebon Hawk gave an almighty lurch and Xana found herself tumbling down the stacks of plasteel containers. She finally landed, face down, in a crevasse between two food storage bins.

Groaning painfully, Xana lifted up her head. She almost screamed when she saw an adorable little pixie face not two inches from her own. Xana scrambled up, hardly believing it when she saw the little girl scuttle away from her to cower in the corner.

Footsteps sounded from down the hall. Talon stuck his head in the cargo bay door and called, "Is that my cue for an 'I told you so'?"

Xana rolled her eyes. "Shut up, snipertard. This is serious." She stood up and pointed to the gap in between the containers.

"What?" Talon asked, walking over to see what she was pointing at.

"I think I found a _kid_."

* * *

**Yeah, I am BACK and so bye-bye, hiatus! :D To make up for the long delay, I wrote an extra-long chapter in two parts...but then I was only one scene away from finishing and I got bombarded with homework. So I just decided to go ahead and post this.**

**Thanks to writtenrhythm for beta-ing and reviewing! And additional thanks to disciple65, Ash Veran, and Lisa for reviewing as well! Ash and Lisa, your constructive criticism on Xana's age was pretty helpful in inspiring the flashback in this chapter, and it's also a win-win cause now there's a very plausible explanation as to how Revan could've been a 13 year old Sith Lord. :)**

**Alright, thanks for reading and stay tuned for Part 2!  
**


	17. Stowaways, shopping, and smugglers

Chapter 15, part 2

Soundtrack:

Situating the Stowaway - My Hero by Paramore

Shopping in Ahto City - Poprocks and Coke by Green Day

Unsavory Reunion - Lie to Me (Denial) by Red

* * *

"So what do we do?" Xana asked. She stood in the cockpit with Talon, Mission, and the kid, having just introduced Carth and Bastila to their little stowaway.

Carth spoke up, "Did she tell you anything that might indicate where her home is?"

"Yeah. She speaks some weird combo of Mandalorian and made-up words, but I was able to figure it out."

Talon added, "Her name is Sasha and she's the daughter of Dantooinian settlers. From what Xana could understand, we think she was kidnapped by Mandalorian slavers."

The cockpit fell silent for a few moments. Sasha glanced up worriedly at Xana and took the older girl's hand.

"I think the logical thing to do would be to gather more supplies. Presently, we cannot waste the time for a return trip to Dantooine and our stores are too depleted to support an additional child," Bastila announced.

Mission's face lit up and she shouted, "Sweet, a shopping trip in Ahto City! I call dibs on going with Xana!"

"Hold on a second, Mission," Carth cut in. "Somebody's gotta stay behind to take care of Sasha."

Xana waved a hand dismissively, "Canderous and Juhani can do it. They'd be perfect for the job."

Carth didn't look too convinced. "Xana, come on. Not only does the kid probably have a chronic fear of Mandalorians, but somehow I just can't picture Canderous, Juhani, and our stowaway as the epitome of domestic bliss."

"Yeah, and I can't exactly picture either one of them cheerily browsing produce aisles either. Besides, this is just the thing they all need to bring them together."

"I dunno..."

Xana rolled her eyes. "Juhani hasn't been too keen on having Canderous here, and perhaps if she sees his caring side, she'll be more willing to get along with him. And once all the Mandalor-phobia is done and dealt with, we can all be like one big, happy, un-related, dysfunctional family!" she proclaimed with glee.

"You just made up the word 'Mandalor-phobia' on the spot, didn't you?" Carth sighed exasperatedly, not really having anything else to say.

Xana smirked, "Why yes, yes I did. C'mon, kid." She tugged on Sasha's arm and the two disappeared down the hallway.

* * *

"Are you finished yet?"

Juhani suppressed a growl, inwardly seething at the Mandalorian's impatience. She had been trying for the last hour to get her new lightsaber crystal to center in the hilt. It had proven to be very stubborn, and the presence of her unwanted companion did nothing to ease matters.

"This workbench is for the entire crew to use, regardless of what room of the ship you claim as 'yours'. I will take however long I need." Juhani took pride in the calmness she spoke with. Anger would no longer get the best of her.

Canderous scoffed. "Pfft. Prissy Jedi. You're almost as bad as the Princess."

Juhani's eyes darkened at the derogatory references to Bastila and herself. She sighed and slammed down the pair of pliers she was using. Really, did this man have to make things so difficult?

"Canderous! Juhani!" Xana trilled in a singsong voice. She stuck her head into the swoop garage, grinning impishly. "I've got a surprise for you!"

"What is it?" Juhani asked warily.

Shock registered on both faces when Xana came in, holding the hand of a little girl. Upon seeing Canderous, Sasha immediately ducked behind Xana and whimpered softly.

"Where'd you get the kid?" Canderous drawled, obviously unaffected. He rolled his eyes when Juhani dramatically rushed to Sasha's side..

"Cargo hold. She's been stowing away on this ship for who knows how long."

Juhani was already trying to offer gestures of comfort to the distressed girl, though her strange appearance only seemed to upset Sasha even more. "We must return her to her parents at once. This is no place for a child! Look at her, the poor thing is nearly shaking!"

Xana placed a comforting arm around Sasha. "Bastila nixed the idea. She said we can't waste time turning around, and so we're presumably gonna keep her on the ship until the next time we return to Dantooine. But you see... we're really low on supplies and need to go get some, and we kinda need someone to watch Sasha while we're out..."

"Oh no. Oh, _kriff_, no," Canderous interrupted. "Can't you get Republic to do it?"

"And leave you with the oh-so-manly task of grocery shopping?" Xana shot back. "Nuh-uh. We'd be living on beef jerky and cold cereal for the next month."

"No."

"Oh, come on! She needs someone who speaks Mandalorian! And what happened to ' Train your sons to be strong, but your daughters to be stronger'?"

The mention of the old Mandalorian saying caused Canderous to stop and think for a moment. Reluctantly, he agreed. "Oh fine, but don't expect me to put on the whole nanny act."

Xana beamed at him, "Don't worry, you'll do great. 'Sides, you're gonna have help." Xana's gaze drifted over to Juhani. The Cathar's eyes widened to the size of saucers.

Before they could say anything, though, Xana turned and ran away. She called back quickly, "All right, you guys are now her official caretakers. So have fun with that, BYE!"

As she ran down the leftmost hallway, she nearly collided with Talon. Not wanting to waste a precious second, she grabbed him by the sleeve and frantically tugged him down the exit ramp. "C'mon! We've got to get some distance before they can take it back!"

Talon only smiled and started running.

* * *

Xana, Talon, and Mission were completely dwarfed in the bustle of Ahto City's most populous market district. Crowds milled around them like a roiling sea of bodies. Neon signs and advertisements dazzled them, giving off the air of a glittery wonderland of consumerism. The excitement was contagious. It bubbled up in the corners of Xana's mind and seemed to be affecting Mission as well. Talon, however...

"Remind me why we split from Carth and Bastila to come here?" he groaned.

"Because..." Xana drew out. "I've got my last few hundred credits burning a hole in my pocket, and I figure this is our last chance to blow it all in one night."

"Again, why?" Talon brought a hand to his head. The noise was beginning to give him a headache.

Xana raised a finger to her chin, feigning deep thought. "I dunno...it _might_ have something to do with the fact that this is the last metropolitan planet on the agenda. 'Scuse me if I'm not entirely thrilled at the thought of purchasing the latest in Sand People or Wookiee fashions."

Mission grabbed his arm and tugged him toward one of the shops. "C'mon! Just to sweeten the deal, let's buy you something first."

Before he could blink, Xana was already throwing garments into his arms. Mission joined in shortly after. In minutes, he had amassed a pile of clothes towering above his head.

"I think that's sufficient, don't you?" Xana quipped.

"Yes, very." Mission agreed.

The two girls then proceeded to shove him toward a dressing room, ignoring his loud shouts of protest. Talon found himself practically thrown into the dimly lit cubicle. Moments later, the door slid shut and he heard two bodies brace themselves against it.

"We're not letting you out till you try them all on!" Mission giggled.

Talon dumped the clothes on a nearby chair. "Oh yes, you are!" He rammed the door control button. The metal groaned loudly, before giving up with a hiss.

"What the-?"

"I'm holding it shut with the Force, snipertard!" Xana called. "Now come on! The sooner you're done, the sooner we'll let you out."

Talon growled in frustration and hit the door. Then, he turned to the pile of clothes and looked them over. He was surprised – the girls actually had really good taste in garments. He picked up a black V-neck shirt with electric blue paint splatters on the front. Definitely Xana's choice. Slipping it over his head, he found that it fit him perfectly.

Next came a black button-up shirt with metallic golden pinstripes. This one had Mission written all over it. He tried it on as well, and was even more surprised how nice it looked.

Not wanting to spend more time in there than he needed to, Talon just rifled through the rest of the clothes and picked out what he liked best. A red short-sleeved silk shirt, a few pairs of black acid-wash pants, and a couple more of Xana's tee shirt selections completed the bundle.

"All right, I'm done!" he shouted. The door slid open a moment later, revealing a smugly-smiling Mission and Xana. They eyed the clothes in his arms.

"Those were my favorites too!" Mission remarked. "So I guess this means you're officially on board with the shopping spree. Glad you're not a _total_ stick in the mud."

Talon teased, "Watch it, Mish. I think that's got more to do with the fact that an uppity blue Twi'lek and an annoying Jedi held me hostage in a dressing room."

"Oh, please. You know you need to let your inner teenage girl out." Xana replied drolly.

"What inner teenage girl? I'm a Republic soldier!"

"Not according to that security footage I have of you dancing in front of the mirror." Mission shot back.

Talon sputtered indignantly while Xana sniggered and took the clothes from him. She brought them to the cashier and paid, all the while listening to Talon and Mission bicker.

"Hey, guys! No fighting during our one afternoon of amazingness!" she yelled, tossing the shopping bag to Talon.

"You didn't have to buy these for me, you know. I've got money." Talon admitted sheepishly.

"S'no big deal." Xana waved him off, leading them towards a store that sold women's clothing. "Just carry the bags for the rest of the day and we're even."

"Kay, if you say so." Talon replied. Little did he know that he would pay very, very dearly for this remark.

All afternoon they ducked into and out of various clothing stores. In several hours' time, Talon found the circulation in his arms beginning to fade from the sheer number of bags and parcels he carried.

* * *

"Don't you girls have enough stuff _yet_?" he cried, dumping his load into a corner for the umpteenth time that day.

"Last store, we promise." Mission declared. She stepped out of her changing room, wearing a dark blue short-sleeved top, black skirt, and purple leggings.

"That's what you said five stores ago!" Talon muttered. "Nice outfit, by the way."

"Why, thank you. If you think this is cool, though, you're gonna love what I picked out for Xana!" Mission bounded over to Xana's changing room and pounded on the door. "You done yet?" she called inside.

Xana stood in front of the mirror, self-consciously wrapping her arms around herself. "I can't believe I let you sucker me into this, Mission!" she yelled back. Xana was dressed in a black silk party dress, distressed leggings, and her old Converse. The dress itself was beautiful – it was held up by two wide straps, had a square, modest neckline, and featured a corset-style top that billowed out into a knee length skirt made of layers upon layers of ruffles.

Xana, however, grimaced at her reflection. She'd always hated dressing like this. It only seemed to remind her of how different she looked from the holopics of models that were stationed in the store windows. She was somewhat pretty and relatively thin, but still a far cry from the ideal.

"Come out already, or I'll come in there and get you myself!" Mission replied teasingly.

"No wait, Mish! I changed my mind!"

"Too late!"

The door swung open. Mission gasped. "Xana, you look great!" she raved, dragging Xana out into the hallway. "Just wait till Talon sees you!"

The color drained from Xana's face and she made a desperate dive for the changing room. She fought against Mission's grasp, frantically clawing through the air while blubbering a litany of half-baked excuses. There was no _way_ she was going to let Talon see her like this!

"Uh...Xana?"

If only he hadn't been standing at the end of the hall this whole time.

Xana buried her head in her hands and turned to face him. "Yeah?"

"What are you doing?" Talon cocked his head to the side, trying to suppress the laughter bubbling up behind his lips.

Xana straightened her posture and glared at him defiantly. "I'm trying on a dress, snipertard. What does it look like I'm doing?"

"Ah, I see." He nodded as if only just realizing this. "Your entrance needs a bit of work."

Xana's face reddened and she opened her mouth to yell at him.

"But the dress looks very nice on you."

Xana's mouth snapped shut. She managed to choke out a 'thank-you', then all but ran back to her changing room. Once inside, she slumped to the floor and began to bang her head against the wall. She looked up at the mirror. Her normally pale face was redder than a Sith's lightsaber. This caused her to resume her bout of head-banging.

"O sweet dignity, why hast thou forsaken me?" she muttered, drawing a deep sigh. Finally, she picked herself up off the floor and set about changing into her usual outfit.

When she emerged, Talon and Mission were chatting like nothing had even happened. Xana slipped over to the nearest clothes rack and tossed the dress over it. _If anyone dares speak of this ever again, so help me, I will..._

"What's wrong?"

Xana looked up, startled. She hadn't noticed the scowl that had crept upon her face, nor the irritating soldier standing directly in front of her.

"I'm not getting it. I...ran out of credits."

Talon picked up the dress and hefted it over his arm. "Let me get it for you then. To pay you back for the stuff you got me."

"Talon, don't! Really, I don't like it."

He walked up to the counter and gave it to the clerk. "You've got to be kidding me. Look, if you're embarrassed, it really wasn't a big deal-"

"I won't wear it." Xana threatened.

Talon heaved a mock sigh and pretended to sound disappointed. "Guess I'll have to wear it then. Every single day. In the finite confines of the Ebon Hawk. And then you'll have to pay for everyone's therapy."

Xana couldn't help but giggle at the mental image. Talon handed the clerk a large credit chip and took the bag. He held it out, grinning now that he'd finally gotten a laugh out of her. "Unless of course, some valiant soul were to come along and relieve me of this terrible burden..."

Xana snatched the bag and gave a melodramatic pout. "Oh, fine. I will do what I must, to spare my innocent crew from that horrible, horrible fate." It wasn't long, though, before a smile broke through and she was shaking with laughter. She fiddled with the handle of the bag. "Thanks, snipertard."

"No problem. Now if you'll excuse me, I shall go and resume my pack-mule duties so we can get out of here." He headed off in the direction of the changing rooms.

Xana shook her head and leaned back against the counter. That boy was just too much.

She began to observe the throngs of people passing in front of the shop. Her eyes flickered from being to being...until they landed on a shock of fiery red hair half-hidden by a fountain.

Xana leaned to the right, suddenly desperate to see who this mysterious figure was. His shaggy hair just barely brushed his shoulders, and his form was hidden beneath a tight, ratty black trench coat. A glint beneath his sleeves caught Xana's eye.

Knuckle blades.

Xana barely registered Talon standing behind her. She thrust her bag into his already-full arms and stormed out of the shop. Her only explanation was a terse, "Wait here."

Xana's face turned bright red with fury as she marched toward the man.

"_That promise still stands no matter what."_

She mashed her fist into her palm, eagerly awaiting the retribution they would deal out in mere moments...

"_I'll always be here for you..."_

Xana rounded the fountain and spun the man around.

"_You're my best friend in the whole galaxy..." _

With all the strength she could muster, she brought her hand up and slapped him clear across the face.

"_Nothing will ever change that."_

He stumbled back, reeling in surprise and clutching his jaw.

Xana just stood there, glaring coldly.

Into the face of none other than Splicer.

* * *

**Author's Note: Ooh, more drama on the horizon. Remember the dude from chapter 8's flashback? Xana's old smuggling partner? Yep, this be him. Next chapter...let's just say Xana has an interesting reunion and returns to old habits. ;) Stay tuned, _comprende_? You're not gonna want to miss this. (And for you canon fans out there, the chapter after next is when we get back to the main KotOR storyline...well, sorta.)  
**

** Thanks to writtenrhythm for beta reading, and to zeroblade 63 for reviewing the last chapter! Sorry this one's so short, I was preoccupied with writing for my other story "Oh Frag, Not Again" and a new one, "_Ner Vod_, My Hero", for a DeviantArt fan jam. And the second half of this chapter fit better with the theme of the next one, so I cut it out as well...but look on the bright side, at least this puts me 6 pages into the next chapter! :D**


	18. Idiot buddies

Chapter 16 – Idiot buddies

Soundtrack:

The cantina – Black and Gold by Sam Sparro [the 4-minute version] (-1-), Sandstorm by Darude (-2-)

(Additional note: the song that Xana programmed the Ebon Hawk to play is "She's a Rebel" by Green Day – one of her theme songs.)

**A/N: Agh! Sorry it took forever for me to update! If it's any consolation, this is the longest chapter I've ever written and the next one's already finished. AND I'm almost finished writing the remaining chapters of 'Oh Frag, Not Again'.**

**Thank you to my wonderful beta reader writtenrhythm. Ya'll go and check out her new Kotor Musical fic, her Revan PC is pretty awesome and it's probably the most hardcore Kotor musical you'll read on here.**

* * *

Xana sat hunched over her cup of caffa. She tried in vain to focus on the din of the cantina, rather than the sullen redhead sitting next to her in the booth.

Splicer had been overjoyed to see her at first, if not a little put out at having been slapped.

He'd gotten word that she was serving on the Endar Spire. Naturally, when the Sith destroyed both the station and the planet below it, he had assumed she was dead. So when she turned up, obviously seething mad at him, he didn't hesitate to sweep her up in a giant bear hug.

Big mistake.

She'd promptly kicked him in the shins and proceeded to yell at him in a litany of alien languages. This, of course, made Talon believe she was in danger. The next moment, he was by her side and shouting at Splicer to back off.

_He hadn't looked too imposing with his arms full of women's clothes_, Xana recalled with a smirk. But it was the thought that counted, right?

Once Talon set the purchases down, though, he started up a ruckus so loud that someone eventually called in security to break it up. At that point, the four teens just quietly slunk away to lay low in the nearest cantina.

Which brought them to their current situation. Xana and Splicer were awkwardly looking away from each other, Talon was glaring at the redhead from across the booth, and Mission was glancing from person to person with utter bewilderment written across her face.

Xana couldn't take this anymore. She slammed her caffa cup down and turned to look at Splicer. "Why'd you do it?" she demanded.

"What are you talking about?" Splicer shot back.

"Unbelievable! You seriously don't know what you did wrong?"

"No! I don't!"

Xana mocked, "I made a promise that I'd watch out for you, and I want you to know that even though you're going solo that promise still stands no matter what. Sound familiar?"

Realization dawned in Splicer's eyes. "Xana, look, if you'd just let me explain-"

"Explain what? That you essentially ditched me on Nar Shaddaa like some unwanted puppy? Left me thinking I always had a lifeline home?"

"Xana, I-"

"For months – _months!_ - you give me all this flak about wanting to leave, then you taunt me with false promises that I should chase my dreams and you'd always have my back. But on Dantooine...the one time I felt ready to give up and I really needed you..."

"Guess I shouldn't be surprised at another betrayal." Xana's voice cracked and she fell silent. Shakily, she brought her cup to her lips and forced the caffa down her aching throat.

This was humiliating. Here she was, on the verge of crying over a guy she hadn't even told Talon and Mission about. Xana glanced up at Talon. He was pointedly looking out the window. His jaw was clenched and he was gripping his water glass so hard, Xana thought he would shatter it.

"Xana." Splicer spoke in that gentle, easy tone that always used to calm her down. "Right after you left, I was hired to do a series of jobs for a very important but...lucrative...client. It was working out great for a while, but then the last job went south and I was forced to make a run for it. His cronies somehow found a way to latch onto the long-distance comm signal I'd left for you, and track me that way. I was afraid that they'd not only find me, but you as well, so I had to shut it down."

"Whatever." Xana replied. "Seeing as I'm obviously not working with you anymore, I suppose it's not really my problem anyway. And you can't change the past, so there's no use harping about it anymore." She cracked a watery half- smile at Splicer. "Look, I'm sorry for the whole incident back there."

"Nah, s'okay. Getting slapped by random girls, creating a public scene, narrowly dodging the authorities...nothing I'm not used to."

Xana nodded, "Pretty true. And, in retrospect, I'm kind of glad now that the call hadn't gone through. If you'd come to whisk me away from Dantooine, I would've never gotten to be a Jedi."

Splicer looked at her in amused disbelief. "No shizz? You're a Jedi now?"

"Yep." Xana lifted her hand and Splicer's cup floated up a few inches.

"Man, that's pretty sweet."

"I still don't forgive you, though." Xana blurted out.

"What? Why?" Splicer asked incredulously. "Everything worked out fine!"

"You don't get it, Splice. I've got a lot more to forgive than just that comm channel, in case you don't remember."

Splicer became all too aware of the looks Xana's two companions were giving him. Mission was utterly enraptured, as if she were watching a real-life soap opera. Which, in all actuality, this probably was. Talon had stopped looking out the window and was now acutely listening to the conversation, glaring daggers at Splicer all the while.

Splicer tried to hurry the conversation along. He begged, "Xana, I promise I've changed! Look, I can show you that I'm just the same as I was before! Meet me at this cantina tomorrow night; Faye, Jett, and I are doing the entertainment. It'll be crazy fun."

Xana looked skeptical. "Splice, I dunno about this..."

"Just one chance! Don't you think you at least owe me this one favor? Please?"

"Oh, fine." Xana rolled her eyes. "I'll think about it. And Mission and Talon get to come as well."

Splicer let out a sigh of relief. "Sure, kid. Anything you want." Suddenly, Splicer's commlink beeped and he muttered under his breath.

"Gotta go?" Xana asked.

"Yep. Jett needs some help with the repairs, and I was supposed to be off getting spare parts. I better get on it before he comes after me with his hydrospanner. But I'll see you tomorrow?" Xana scooted out of the booth and let Splicer do the same.

"Maybe."

"Haha, good one." Splicer quipped, heading for the exit and finger-gunning Xana. "So yeah. See ya then."

Xana sighed and facepalmed. What had she been thinking?

* * *

"What were you thinking?" Talon stormed. He and Xana were talking in the Ebon Hawk's computer room. Xana laid stomach-down on the floor, amidst a pile of various drawings and notebooks. Talon, however, was pacing anxiously in front of the doorway.

"I was thinking that I'd have a little reunion with my ex-best friend, and invite you and Mish along. Weren't you paying attention?" Xana absentmindedly inspected another notebook.

"Xana, I've only just met the guy and I can already tell he's trouble."

Xana looked up at Talon, "You don't know him." She pleaded with her eyes for him to understand.

"Yeah, but I do know that he's hurt you. I just don't think it's wise for you to do this, especially considering the risks."

"Of what?"

"Well, of you falling to the dark side. If you let him hurt you again, and your emotions are running crazy...not to mention with barely trained Force powers at your disposal..."

"Talon, I need some closure about this. If I let this eat away at me, it'll be just as likely to drive me to the dark side as well."

Talon sighed and ran his hand through his hair. "Just...be careful, okay?"

"Aren't I always?" Xana smirked. "So does this mean you'll go with me and Mission?"

"Yeah, I guess. Have you told Carth and Bastila yet?"

"I might've left out that little detail..." Xana admitted sheepishly.

"Oh, what? That we're going off to a cantina in the dead of night, to meet a group of smugglers that you used to work with? Yeah, I'm totally sure they won't mind."

"First of all – yay, I'm glad my sarcasm is finally rubbing off on you! And second – Carth and Bass aren't our parents. I'm leading this mission too, and I'm obligated to make decisions as a rational adult."

Talon sighed and settled down across the floor from Xana. "Carth may not be your parent, but he's like a dad to me. I really don't want to do anything to disappoint him."

"And going out to dance and hang out with friends is disappointing because?"

"You wouldn't get it." Talon looked away awkwardly.

"Don't make me pull rank on you, mister," Xana teased. "You're just making excuses cause you don't wanna see Splicer again."

"That is not true!" Talon replied hotly.

"Come on, man! Help me out here! I really don't want to go alone."

Talon rolled his eyes, then pondered for a moment. "All right, I'll think about it." He leaned over to peer at the notebooks. "And what are you looking at?"

Xana turned the notebook around and slid it towards him. "I just remembered that these were in the bottom of my traveling bag. They're a bunch of sketches and journals from when I was a smuggler."

Talon flipped through the pages of the notebook. There were entries scribbled in an alphabet he couldn't understand, random doodles, and full-out sketches. They were amazing – just like holopics, but on flimsiplast. He saw one of a smiling girl with platinum-blonde hair, a Serroco boy with a hydrospanner, Splicer, a utility droid, a self-portrait, and finally a very intricate set of doodles.

The page was filled with sketches of various adventures, humorous pictures, planet names, jokes, and quotes. They were written in a mixture of the same strange alphabet and Galactic Basic. All of this seemed to surround four carefully stenciled names. On the top read 'Xana', and on the bottom, 'Splicer'. Talon presumed that the words below them were translations in Xana's alphabet.

"That's cute," he commented sullenly, sliding the notebook back to Xana. She stared at the page for a moment. Her face slowly lit up and a big grin blossomed.

"Oh yeah, I almost forgot about this! Splice traced our names for me, and that's how I learned to read my first letters in Basic! Oh, and every time we'd go to a new place or make up a new inside joke, we'd always write something in here."

"Sounds fun."

"It is!" Xana flipped to a blank page in the notebook and handed it back to Talon. "C'mon, let's start one for you and I."

"Why?"

"We have to have something that commemorates the adventure we're currently on. Duh!" Xana handed him a drawing stylus. "And besides, it passes time in hyperspace. Now what do you want to put on there?"

"Um...you wanna put our names, just like the other one?"

"Nah, that's too boring. Nicknames?"

"Mkay." Talon set the notebook on the floor and bent over it, carefully tracing out two names in Basic. "How do you like that?"

Xana turned the notebook around so she could see it. In the top left corner was the word 'Snipertard' and in the bottom right was 'Thunder'.

"Thunder?" she asked incredulously. "Why Thunder?"

"Well, I thought it fit cause thunder is always really imposing, philosophically impressive, darkly beautiful, and is _always_ followed by lightning."

Xana smiled. That fit...just about perfect, really. "Thunder it is, then." she agreed. Just as carefully, she wrote out a translation for the two names in her own alphabet.

"So what do we draw next?" Talon asked, taking the notebook back.

"The Crystal Caverns?" Xana tried.

"The Ebon Hawk lit up like a Nar Shaddaa cantina?" Talon guessed teasingly.

"Carth's reaction when he finds out?"

"Canderous picking flowers with Sasha?"

"Juhani on catnip?"

Both teens collapsed onto their forearms, giggling lightly. Talon smiled at Xana and picked up the drawing stylus.

* * *

When Carth and Bastila found them hours later, they were both asleep over the notebook.

Bastila gasped in surprise and moved forward to wake them up. Carth, however, couldn't help but let a small smile break through._ Reminds me the time Morgana and I fell asleep while reading in her parents' garden, _he reminisced fondly.

Carth reached out and put a steadying hand on Bastila's shoulder. He shook his head and whispered, "Let 'em sleep, they're probably worn out from shopping all day. Why don't we go get dinner on the table?"

Bastila pursed her lips and crossed her arms, saying nothing. She looked from Talon, to Xana, and back to Carth again. Finally, she gave an acquiescent huff and proceeded back down the corridor.

Carth smiled amusedly and palmed the door closed. "Sleep tight, guys." he whispered.

* * *

"Where's Talon?" Mission asked. She was poised in front of the mirror, trying to keep her face straight as she struggled with Xana's makeup brush.

"Stalling Carth and Bass," Xana replied. The older girl nudged Mission aside, trying to get a better view of the mirror as she straightened her hair. "They've been gone all this morning and afternoon, to talk with the representative at the Republic base on Manaan. I sent Talon to 'debrief' them...or, as I call it, asking pointless questions while we take our sweet time putting on makeup."

"Speak for yourself," Mission grumbled. She slammed down the brush in frustration.

Xana smiled sympathetically and picked up the brush. "Hold still," she prompted. She gently and quickly dabbed makeup onto the younger girl's face, holding up a mirror when she finished.

Mission opened her eyes and beamed at Xana, "Wow, thanks! You'll have to teach me how to do that."

Xana returned the smile, "Sure, anytime. Though I don't even think you need makeup at all." It was true – Mission already looked older than her fourteen years, and could have passed for eighteen in the purple tunic and black leggings she'd borrowed from Xana.

Xana, on the other hand, looked more tired and weary than mature. She looked at her reflection and sighed, thinking of how even the makeup couldn't hide the dark circles under her eyes or the pallor of her skin. Realizing the shallowness of her thoughts, she jolted back to reality and faked a smile.

"So, shall we go then?"

"Indeed we shall," Mission replied. She linked her arm with Xana's and the two girls strode out of the 'fresher.

Meanwhile, Talon was leaning against the Ebon Hawk's galaxy map and trying not to yawn. There were only so many pointless questions in the universe, and it was only a matter of time before either Carth or Bastila caught on. How long did it take for girls to get ready, anyway?

"Hey, what's this?" Carth asked suddenly. He walked to the Ebon Hawk's leftmost control console and removed a metallic blue object from its' top. Bastila cocked her head to the side, staring at the object curiously.

Talon immediately snapped to attention. He'd totally forgotten about Xana's remote.

Trying to hide his panic, he attempted to distract Carth again, "So this submersible that the Republic is gonna provide for us…does it have automatic docking?"

Carth swiveled around to face Talon, raising an eyebrow suspiciously. He crossed his arms and shot Talon his best 'you know something and you're not telling me' look. And being Carth, it was common knowledge that he was very, _very_ good at it. Bastila didn't help matters much. She stood to the side, giving him the most imposing glare she could muster up.

Talon shrugged sheepishly, "Ah…I know it's a bit of a pointless question, but I kinda prefer to ride down to the planet's surface in comfort. So what about a plush, bantha-leather interior? Maybe a cupholder or two?"

"What does this do, Talon? Is there something you're hiding from me?" Carth was all business now.

Talon made one last-ditch attempt, "Carth, no! Don't touch that-"

Too late.

Carth pressed the topmost button on the remote. Immediately, the Ebon Hawk's cockpit exploded into a myriad of flashing multicolored lights. Peppy, fast-paced punk rock music blasted from hidden speakers, literally shaking the floor from its volume. Carth and Bastila jumped at least a foot, before crouching over and attempting to shield their shocked ears from the noise.

Talon wasn't about to wait around and get yelled at. He bolted down the hallway, frantically seeking out Xana and Mission. As luck would have it, they emerged into the common room at that very moment.

"No time to explain – we've got to get out of here _now_!" Talon yelled frantically.

Xana was about to ask what was the matter, until she heard the music pounding in the cockpit. She turned white as a sheet and her mouth formed into an 'O' shape.

Right on cue, a tiny 'beep' sounded from the cockpit. The music stopped, and silence reigned for a moment.

"XANAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Carth's enraged cry echoed throughout the ship.

The three teenagers bolted for the exit ramp.

* * *

"So, they've found where the Star Map might be?" Xana walked at a more leisurely pace now, swinging her arms at her sides. It had been five minutes since they'd lost Carth and Bastila in the massive crowds.

Talon replied, "It's our best bet. The Republic representative says that his staff down at the Hrakert Rift reported an ancient-looking obstruction on the seafloor. It's way too similar to your and Bastila's dream to pass up.

"However, there is an extra condition." he added. "The location of the secret Hrakert Rift station may be compromised, since a Republic droid was captured by the on-planet Sith a few days ago. We'll need to send a strike team to infiltrate the Sith base and retrieve the droid's data."

Xana shrugged, "Seems a bit tough, but life gets boring without a challenge every now and then."

Mission piped up, "Think I might be able to come? I am, after all, the best one on the ship to trust with a stealth generator."

"I'd be insulted if you didn't," Xana replied. "Infiltration trip, small strike team, information retrieval…I think I like this mission already. Although I'd rather jump in with lightsabers a-blazing, but if we absolutely _must_ settle for subtlety."

Talon rolled his eyes good-naturedly. For a moment, his gaze flicked to her attire. "Hey, you're wearing the dress," he observed out loud.

Xana looked away, sheepishly tugging the black hem further over her distressed leggings. "Well, I don't have anyplace else to wear it and I didn't want this thing to be a _total_ waste of your credits." She looked up at him nervously. "Too much, huh?"

Talon grinned, "No, you look great. And look – we even match." He pointed towards his black button-down shirt with golden pinstripes.

"Aww…aren't you two adorable," Mission teased. "Matching outfits and everything."

"Mission!" Xana and Talon hissed in unison, clearly mortified.

"Hey look, matching blushes too!"

"MISSION!"

The Twi'lek laughed, "Hey, lighten up, will you? Tonight's gonna be great – and look, there's the cantina!"

A few shops down, the building was unmistakable. Bright lights lit up the doorway and music pulsed through the air, promising a good time to curious passerby. Xana barely recognized it as the trendy restaurant they'd visited the last afternoon.

She strolled into the cantina slowly, letting the sights, smells, and sounds gradually dazzle her senses. A low, thrumming synth beat pierced the atmosphere, making everything seem even more thrilling and utterly _alive_. Her two companions were right behind her; she could practically feel the sense of excitement and belonging rolling off of them as well. Xana led them over to the neon-lined bar, where patrons of all ages and species had flocked. A bold few had made their way to the dance floor, but not many.

(-1-)

The droid at the counter looked at them skeptically. Xana just smirked and slapped a credit chip onto the counter. "Just three soft drinks tonight," she ordered. As the droid bustled about, getting their drinks ready, Xana scanned the crowd for a familiar thatch of red hair. She saw Splicer on the stage, holding a microphone. Faye and Jett were there was well; the former perched in front of a pair of drums and the latter at a turn-table. Xana waved at them, but they didn't see her amongst the packed crowd at the bar.

Xana turned to Talon, smiling. "C'mon, let's dance," she said randomly.

Talon picked up his glass and took a lazy sip, "No."

She lightly punched him in the arm, "What? Don't tell me you're one of those lame recluses that 'just don't dance' cause they're too shy."

"I know how to dance," he retorted. "Just not to this song."

Xana rolled her eyes and pushed away from the counter. She strode to the edge of the dance floor and assumed a casual pirouette, raising her arm slowly. She heard Splicer begin to sing, and swept her arm out horizontally. Her foot followed suit. Xana repeated this with the other side, then executed a neat little spin. She then began bouncing her hip in time with the beat, bringing both arms in front and slowly raising them over her head.

Xana shuffled her feet, moving her hands side-to-side and bringing them back to waist level. She spun again, righting herself in front of the counter and holding a hand out to Talon.

"Well, now you know how," she grinned, still bouncing in time with the beat. "Now what do ya say?"

Talon grinned back and took her hand, leaving a smugly amused Mission to sip her soft drink all by herself. The two went to the very center of the dance floor and swayed for awhile, trying to get a feel for the rhythm of the song.

Xana brought her hands over her head and twirled around, gracefully lowering them back down. Snapping her fingers in time with the beat, she took three steps to the side. Then, her hands snapped up so that they were in front of her face like a mask, palms outward. Talon took her hands and spun her around once, ending it in a gentle dip.

He spun her again to catapault her out of the crook of his arm. Hands still linked, they swayed and stepped to the music's tempo. Xana let go, moving to the music while walking backwards. Talon followed, his feet occupying whatever spot hers vacated. This went on for a few more moments, until Xana broke the pattern by sliding to the left all of a sudden. Talon just barely managed to copy the movement.

"And here I thought you didn't know how to dance," Xana teased. "You are just full of surprises, aren't you?"

"Guilty as charged," Talon replied. He took Xana's hand and gracefully spun her out at arm's length. She spun right back, a whirlwind of black amongst the cantina's flashing lights. He twirled her in a figure-eight motion, ducking her under his arm and back out again. Xana snapped forward to face him, hair flying backwards and eyes wide in surprise.

"Where did you-"

Talon smiled cryptically, "I took a few lessons when I was younger." He slowly dipped her again, so far back her hair was nearly touching the floor. Xana's breath quickened and she tightened her grip on his hand. It felt like she was suspended in midair, only the thin support of his arm keeping her from dropping down onto the dirty floor. She panicked, able to see nothing but flashing black-lights beaming into her eyes.

"It's all right, I'm not going to drop you," Talon reassured her. She tilted her head upwards, finally able to see his dim profile obscuring the obnoxious lights. His bangs hung in front of his face, and he shot her a reassuring grin. They paused like that for a moment, letting time stop around them. As the synth beat faded, Xana couldn't help but smile radiantly. The beat began to swell again, and still they remained, eyes locked stubbornly onto one another's.

Just as slowly, he righted her again, giving her plenty of time to adjust so she wouldn't get dizzy. "Ready?" he asked quickly, never breaking eye contact.

Xana shot him a puzzled look, "Ready for what?"

Before he could answer, the beat picked up again and he launched them into a grandiose waltz. They spun faster and faster, looping around the dance floor in an endless flurry of flying colors and graceful steps. She kept her fearful eyes locked onto his, not daring to look at the spinning background lest she get sick. He just gazed calmly down at her, as if he'd done this a million times before. _Trust me_, his eyes seemed to say.

The world around them and the floor began to spin too. The edges of their vision blurred, the forefronts of their consciousness becoming numbed with stupor. Soon, that's all they became, too. Just a blur of dancing feet, intertwined arms, and flying fabric gleaming in the light. A blur of black and gold.

The beat of the music dropped off. Suddenly, they were left swaying in the center of the dance floor, with nothing but a slow rhythm and Splicer's soft voice to break through the muddled stupor. Xana shut her eyes and let herself sway, too exhausted to move her feet anymore. The world was still spinning like mad.

Suddenly the floor lilted a bit too much, and Xana nearly found herself toppling backwards. Talon caught her and drew her into a hug, still rocking her back and forth. "You okay?" he spoke into her ear.

"Mm. Just dizzy," she murmured. Xana shut her eyes tighter and returned the hug. The world felt like a roiling ocean of blackness, swaying and rocking, and it seemed as if he was the only thing holding still.

The music died away, and Xana's world finally stopped rocking. The moment was over.

She opened her eyes, looking up almost beseechingly at Talon's face. Just to make sure none of it was a dream.

Xana shook her head, as if to clear away the nonsense running through her mind. She forcefully extricated herself from his grip and made her way off the dance floor, trying to ignore the stares she was getting from the rest of the audience. Heck, she and Talon had practically commandeered the entire dance floor with that blasted waltz. That blasted picture-perfect, fairy-tale waltz...

She'd almost made it back to Mission when she felt someone grab her wrist. Xana whirled around, ready to slug whoever dared interrupt her brooding.

It was Splicer, beaming a lopsided grin at her. "I hope you've saved a dance for me too?" he implored boyishly.

(-2-)

"_You're _not gonna try and make me chuck up my lunch, are you?" Xana quipped. Her stomach hadn't settled nearly enough for a repeat performance. Just the thought of spinning again made her nauseous.

"I solemnly promise I shalt not make thee chuck up thy lunch," Splicer teased back, mockingly placing a hand over his heart.

"Well then, good sir, I shall dance with thee." Xana followed him back onto the dance floor. They wormed their way into the crowd and began to dance along with the music.

"So what's been going on with you?" Xana shouted over the music.

"Oh, you know. Stranded in a foreign spaceport _again_, with no credits and repair bills through the roof. I found work, though – no biggie."

"What kind?"

"Two Selkath in the cantina offered me jobs, kinda like the ones we used to do. One hired me to find his missing kid, the other to investigate disappearing mercs around here. 500 credits each."

"But there's a catch," Xana guessed, knowing him all too well.

"I can't do infiltration-type jobs without a second pair of hands to help me slice through the systems. I just can't do it fast enough alone. Why else would I be broke right now, Xana?"

Xana pondered for a moment, executing a number of swift dance moves as she did so. "All right, I'll help you. But I need your help too, and for a _very_ important infiltration mission."

"The kind involving danger, hordes of enemies, and the possibility of getting arrested?"

"Would I bother with any other kind?"

"Just like old times, eh?" Splicer grinned down at her. "I'm in."

Suddenly, he looked over her shoulder and his smile crumpled. Xana furrowed her brow in confusion, "What's wrong?"

Splicer smirked at her amusedly, "Your boyfriend's glaring _daggers_ at me. Man, if looks could kill...I'd probably be a pile of ash on the floor." He seemed to reconsider, then ran a hand through his hair, "But of course, still a very good-looking and utterly awesome pile of ash." he added in a teasing tone.

Xana was glad that the semi-darkness hid the faint blush creeping up her pale cheeks. "He's not my boyfriend," she amended. "Just a really good friend...a traveling companion, really."

"Oh yes, he seemed _quite_ friendly," Splicer quipped. He burst out laughing as Xana began to splutter embarrassedly. "Relax, Xana. I'm just messin' with you. So how'd you get to traveling with _that guy_, exactly?"

Xana bit her lip nervously, "It's kinda...complicated. I'll tell you later, on my ship. I travel with the blue Twi'lek too – she's pretty fun and I guarantee you'll absolutely love her within five minutes." Splicer looked up at Mission, who now had Talon in a headlock and was proceeding to give him a noogie.

"I like her already," he laughed. He grinned mischievously, eyes glinting in the low light. "So now that we're all caught up, do I have permission to tear up the dance floor?"

Xana smiled, "Permission granted – tear away."

Talon straightened up, trying to get out of Mission's iron grasp. The girl was a lot sturdier than she looked. If it wasn't for her holding him captive, he'd have gone over to Xana and cut in ages ago. He watched with a mixture of horror and admiration, when Splicer launched himself into the middle of the dance floor and began to break dance. He was good – _way_ better than Talon was, at the very least.

A small circle formed around the redhead, all of the other partygoers clapping in unison as they watched him. Splicer spun on his head and landed on his back, flipping back up into the air and kicking his legs in a wide circle. He landed on his feet with catlike agility and casually dusted off the shoulders of his black jacket. Xana clapped, her eyes lit up with amusement, before stepping into the circle with him. She danced frenetically, but with grace and fluidity. His movements matched hers with ease, and it was apparent to Talon who'd taught her how to dance so well.

Mission didn't let go of Talon, but that didn't stop her from cheering full-force – at the expense of Talon's eardrums. He finally managed to wrestle free of the young girl's grip, shooting her an irritated glare. Mission just offered a semi-apologetic smile, punched him in the arm playfully, then disappeared into the crowd. More than a little frustrated at how things were going, Talon retreated back to the counter and began to down the rest of his soda.

"Roxana Dakari, Lieutenant Averra, just _what_ do you think you two are doing?" The shrill cry cut through the noise like a vibroblade through paper. The crowd quieted, and Xana squinted to see the two figures past all the strobe lights. One of the beams passed over them, revealing a seething Bastila and openly-furious Carth, who was struggling to maintain his grip on Mission's arm.

Talon's eyes shot wide and his glass shattered on the floor. Xana slowly turned to make eye contact with him, the expressions on their faces clearly declaring, 'We are _beyond_ screwed'.

"Oh, shizz," they muttered in unison.

* * *

"...beyond irresponsible! Is this any kind of behavior for a Jedi Padawan, much less one leading this mission, to exhibit? My goodness, Xana, where do I even start? Sneaking out, illegal modifications to the _Hawk_-"

Xana rolled her eyes, pointedly staring at the far wall of the cockpit to indicate her disinterest in Bastila's lecture. Talon and Mission had already been sent out, having already incurred their share of 'parental' wrath. _But apparently, possessing the ability to wave around a light stick somehow equates to higher standards_, Xana sneered to herself. _Fan-fragging-tastic._

"Are you even _listening_?" Carth screamed suddenly, startling Xana. "This is _important_! You're our leader – it's up to _you_ to set an example for those who follow you, and here you are, treating this like it's nothing!"

"Cause it _is_ nothing," Xana drawled lazily, refusing to be intimidated. "Look, I'm old enough to make my own decisions, and if I wanna go and have fun, that's my fragging right! You're my crewmembers, _not_ my babysitters!"

"If you want us to stop acting like babysitters, perhaps you should stop acting like you need to be babysat," Bastila retorted.

"She's right," Carth cut in. "What you did was completely juvenile. Running away from consequences is not something any responsible adult would do. And did you even _think_ of the possibility that you're posing a bad influence on Mission and Talon?"

"They're not kids, Carth! They decided for themselves!"

"Xana, they look up to you for guidance! You're their leader! Mission was just coming out of her reckless streak, and Talon – do you have any idea what you just did to Talon?"

Xana snapped defensively, "I didn't do anything to him! He said he would come!"

"And did he also say he didn't want to, at first?" Carth asked warily.

"Yeah...why?"

"You shouldn't have pushed him to go," he replied, his voice now stony. Turning to Bastila, Carth asked, "Do you think I could talk to Xana for a few minutes?" She nodded and stepped out into the hall, closing the cockpit door behind her.

Carth turned to Xana, anger clearly simmering in his brown eyes, "I'm sure you know that Talon is Telosian and he lost his family at the age of thirteen?" Xana nodded somberly and he continued, "Well, a few months after I took him in, he turned fourteen and fell in with a group of smugglers. Within weeks he was sneaking off to cantinas at night; soon he began to go missing for days at a time."

Xana opened her mouth to make a snappy retort about his observation skills. He quickly cut her off, "I'd just been re-deployed at the time, and I had no choice but to leave him alone in my lodgings on Coruscant. He couldn't go to school; the Telosian children's personal documents were destroyed along with the planet, and there was no way I could get him enrolled with no school records and no ID. So he went with this group of older boys, occasionally going on smuggling trips to transport spice, stims, and who knows what else."

Carth shook his head sadly, "I tried, so hard, to get him to stop. It was already too late by the time I noticed. Every time I would try and help him get his life straightened out, he'd just run away for a few more days. When he left and didn't come home for weeks, I knew he'd been...taken. By who, or for what reason, I never found out."

Completely forgetting her anger, Xana stared at him curiously, "Go on."

"A whole year passed, and one day I just opened my door and found him on my front step. He'd managed to escape wherever he had been taken to, and Xana, he looked awful...utterly awful. I don't think I could possibly describe it. I took him in again, on the one condition that he would make something of his life and never return to his old habits."

"And that's when he joined the military, am I right?"

Carth nodded, turning his back to Xana, "He was – still is – a good kid. I think, if there's anything I could really be proud of doing in this life, it'd be not failing him. Giving him a better life. I made a lot of mistakes...let a lot of people down during my lifetime...and I do _not_ intend for Talon to be one of them." He spoke the last part with a cold edge to his voice, looking pointedly at Xana.

Xana stared at him suspiciously, "What are you trying to say?"

"I would hope that, in the future, you attempt to help him get his life back on track rather than do the opposite."

Xana bristled and retorted, "Hey look, I didn't force him to break his promise. He can make his own choices! You know what, I don't care if you think Talon is some 'second chance' to make up for your mistakes with your first son! It still doesn't give you the right to coddle him then place the blame for his mistake on me!"

Carth turned around slowly, a downright deadly expression on his face. Xana couldn't fathom what she could possibly have said...and then she realized her fatal mistake.

She covered her mouth with both hands, hurriedly placating, "Carth, I didn't mean to-"

"What. Did. You. Just. _SAY_?" he roared. "How dare you...You have _no_ right...Wheredid you even find out that I had a son?"

"It was a mistake, I...I-" Xana rambled, nervously backing up against the galaxy map. Oh great; how was she going to explain her way out of this one?

"_ANSWER ME!_"

Xana remained silent, frantically trying to come up with any possible excuse. She couldn't think straight; Carth was being far too frightening.

He gripped Xana's shoulders, shaking her lightly, "I left to make the Republic _safe_, for _my_ son! I missed his childhood...all those lost years with my wife...and you dare call my sacrifice a _mistake_! The only _mistake_ I made was not being there to protect them when the Sith came!"

The door swooshed open and Bastila stepped into the room. "What is going on here?" she demanded, looking none too happy about the scene before her. Carth looked from her to Xana, finally noticing the teenager's tear-rimmed eyes and slight trembling. He released Xana, who immediately took off running and locked herself inside the computer room.

"Bastila, I -" he tried to explain.

"No need. I heard what she said, and I agree that it was out of line. I'll be sure to have a talk with her later."

Carth held up a hand to stop her. "No, no. Please just...let it go," he begged, hands starting to tremble slightly.

"Something must be done about the situation."

Carth plopped down into the pilot's seat and buried his face in his hands. He swiveled around to face Bastila, sighing exasperatedly, "I don't know _what_ do to anymore."

Bastila paused, taking in the sudden shift in her companion's personality. Something was eating away at him, well, more than usual. Hesitatingly, she knelt down so she was eye-level with him. "Carth...what's wrong?" she asked, lacing her words with the slightest hint of Force persuasion.

He let out a long, labored sigh. Should he tell her, or should he not? It all came down to that one ugly word: trust.

He looked up and simply observed her, looking into her ice-blue eyes as he pondered. Bastila was wise, she was rational, she was genuinely concerned, and...if he really thought about it, she was one of the few people on this ship he could call a friend. What better person to share his burden with?

"It all started in the marketplace yesterday, when I ran into my old friend Jordo."

* * *

Xana slumped against the door. She was physically and emotionally taxed; not even the soothing beeps and whirs of the computer terminals could comfort her. Setting the nearest computer to blast heavy metal music, she snarled and brought her fist down on the control console.

Nothing was going right anymore. She wanted her old life back. She wasn't made to be a perfect, cookie-cutter action hero, nor was she built to lead anyone. Why were they trying to mold her into what she obviously couldn't be? Couldn't they just let her have this one night of reprieve?

Lightning sparked from Xana's palms and she fought to repress her anger. It just wasn't fair – she was in charge, she had to be in control all the time, she had to stay strong, and yet she was the one always thrown out of the loop.

Nobody understood.

_Well, maybe someone will_, Xana reconsidered. _But he's got a heck of a lotta explaining to do._

Xana logged onto the nearest computer console and brought up a messaging program. Quickly, she tapped out a message and sent it to Talon's datapad. It simply read:

**meet me in the computer room. now. we need to have a talk.**

Xana spun around in her chair, absentmindedly tapping her foot to the beat of the music and reflecting on the insanity of the day she'd just had. Despite her mental strength, the brooding only brought her further and further toward tears.

This was how Talon found her; slumped back and looking like she'd just eaten a live gizka. Quietly, he stepped inside and closed the door. "Uh...Xana?" he ventured to ask. "Are you okay?"

Her eyes snapped to him and she cleared her throat, willing her voice not to break. "No, I'm not fragging _okay_! I've just been threatened by your mentor, found out about your secret past, realized I'm a terrible leader, not to mention I've gotten chewed out by a woman who, as we speak, is sending emotions of disapproval and guilt through our Force-bond."

Talon's face clouded over with surprise and a bit of shame. He fumbled for words for a few moments, before finally choking out, "Carth told you?"

"Wow, two stupid questions in a row. Someone's on a roll," Xana muttered, burying her face in her hands. "Why didn't you tell me? Now, on top of feeling awful that I'm nowhere near what this crew needs, I've got to deal with the guilt of ruining your promise and damaging your relationship with Carth as well."

Talon hesitantly approached her, speaking soothingly, "Look, no matter what Carth or anyone else says, I made my decision. It's not your fault...heck, you've got your share of stupid decisions to deal with without taking the blame for mine as well."

Xana cracked a wry smile, "I'm a smuggler, Talon. How can you say that when I'm a constant reminder of what you used to be? At the very least, you could have told me when I asked."

"Believe me if I say I'm not exactly sure how to breach the subject with anyone," he deadpanned.

"True," Xana agreed, irritatedly fiddling with the crumpled hem of her dress. "Alright, so it was nobody's fault. Just a whole ton of really, _really_ idiotic decisions. Frag it, I have no idea how we're gonna get through the next few months if things keep going this way."

"C'mere," Talon said gently, drawing her into a hug. "Well, if it's any consolation, there's no one I'd rather be idiot-buddies with." Xana settled against his shoulder and let out a small chuckle, so he continued, "So how about we agree on no more secrets… and we'll always warn the other if they're about to do something incredibly stupid."

"You got it, idiot buddy of mine," Xana replied, stepping back from him and wiping her eyes. Talon noticed the tears and makeup staining the shoulder of his only dress shirt, but decided to let it go.

"C'mon, we'd better get some rest. It's been a long day," he suggested, placing a hand on Xana's back and guiding her down the hallway. As they crossed the common room, he added, "I meant what I said, you know. And I'm actually kinda glad you convinced me to come tonight, messed up as this whole escapade turned out to be."

Xana smiled and just kept walking.

When they parted at the intersection to the male and female bunkrooms, Xana couldn't help but linger in her doorway and think. She still felt like an awful leader, and in a few days' time, she'd be bringing her closest friends into a base swarming with Sith. Which, coincidentally, didn't help matters much.

But no matter how she felt about it all, tomorrow would come. The only thing she could hope to do now was redeem herself in the eyes of her crew.

She stepped inside and closed the door.


	19. Infiltration

Chapter 17 – Infiltration

Soundtrack:

Hacking at the Republic Base – Crawling (Tophur Remix) by Linkin Park (-1-)

Infiltrating the Sith Base – Smackdown by Thousand Foot Krutch (-2-)

Dark Jedi! - Give 'Em Hell, Kid by My Chemical Romance (-3-)

* * *

Talon palmed open the door of his bunkroom, hanging his dog tags around his neck as he stepped out into the morning cold. His military-issue T-shirt and baggy combat pants did little to ward off the chill, but he couldn't help but smile this dreary morning.

Today heralded the first infiltration job of the mission, and he was assigned to it. With Xana, no less. He reached the junction between the two bunkrooms and began to wait patiently for his friend.

Xana came bounding around the corner with a bantha-leather case under one arm. She gave him a good-morning hug with her free one.

"Mornin', snipertard," she chirped.

"Morning, Thunder," he replied easily. "What's in the case?"

"Oh, you'll see. We'll have to get going first – I'm sure we're running obscenely late as it is." Xana stepped back and sprinted down the exit ramp, tugging him along.

"So, another typical morning for you then?" he teased.

"Hey, I got up before noon! Let's just cherish the little victories one at a time."

He intoned doubtfully, "Whatever you say, boss."

Xana stuck her tongue out at him and ran ahead. She beamed a smile back at him, shouting, "Last one there buys caffa!"

Talon ran after her, smiling just as widely. Oh yes, today was going to be a great day.

* * *

"What is _he_ doing here?" Talon asked irately, pointing to Splicer. "We've got a mission to prepare for. Now's not the time to be catching up with old friends."

Xana glared at him condescendingly. "Didn't I tell you? He's part of the infiltration team."

The glow of the Republic base's computer room did little to hide Splicer's smirk. "Yeah," he drawled, "apparently your Jedi leader with the battle meditation agrees that a _professional_ would be a nice asset to have on this mission. Not surprising, really; Xana and I have done this countless times before."

And so Talon Averra's morning had officially crashed and burned in the space of thirty seconds. Go figure.

Xana must have picked up on his foul mood, because she nudged him and whispered, "Don't worry. He's a likable guy once you get to know him." She shot him a reassuring smile before joining Splicer at the nearest computer terminal.

"This," Xana announced to Talon, "is your state-of-the-art slicing gear. Finest, sleekest stuff on the market." She opened the case to reveal a velvet interior lined with neon blue lights. Inside lay a miniature keyboard, a scanner, a few styluses, various pen-sized implements, assorted datachips, connector wires, pliers, fake hard drives, memory sticks, and a highly customized datapad.

Talon gaped at the equipment, suddenly beginning to feel like he was way in over his head. He was surrounded by two brilliant slicers and a ton of complicated equipment. There was no way this could end well for him.

"So what've we got here?" Xana asked, turning to Splicer.

The redhead set a box of ID cards on the counter. "They gave us the choice of getting in through the docking bay and jacking a shuttle there, or decrypting one of these cards so we can walk in the front door."

Xana wrinkled her nose, mentally tearing apart the plan, "Either choice is flawed – if we enter in through the docking bay, they'll have a chance to call the authorities at the front desk. But if we enter through the front, provided that we don't get caught by the guard, they'll alert security and dispatch forces to protect the droid."

"So what? We send in two teams?" Splicer guessed.

"Hmm, good idea. Mission, Jett, and Faye can sneak in via the docking bay and create a small diversion, while we take out the personnel at the main desk. So we'll need three of those ID cards."

"Whoa, wait," Talon cut in. "What about Carth and Bastila? You can't expect them to be okay with sending a group of minors to infiltrate a Sith base while they simply wait on the Hawk!"

Splicer rolled his eyes and leaned back on the console, "First of all, kid, I'm not a minor. I'm nineteen years old. So guess who gets the _fantastic_ job of being adult supervisor?"

"Why does that not reassure me?" Talon shot back.

Xana quickly stepped between the two, "Look, Splicer is a supremely qualified hacker and an expert in melee combat. Faye is his little sister, Jett's his right-hand man, and both are nearly as skilled. The bottom line is, Carth and Bastila wouldn't have approved this plan if they weren't confident in all our abilities."

Talon's eyes were practically flashing with pent-up frustration, but he tersely nodded his assent.

-1-

Splicer smirked and clapped his hands together, "All righty then, Xana. Set up your stuff and let's get working."

Xana took out the keyboard and datapad, linking them together and then connecting to the main console. She then linked the scanner to both devices and powered on the datapad. A series of elaborate 3-D graphics simultaneously danced across the screens, followed by a background picture of Coruscant's skyline and a plethora of black and purple 3-D menus. She produced one of the styluses and began tapping away on the datapad, bringing up a number of automated analysis programs.

Splicer held one of the ID cards up to the scanner. Soon, line after line of purple-tinted coding started scrolling past on the screens. A box popped up on the front of the screens and Xana nodded.

She murmured, "Uh huh. Just as I thought. Not only are they encrypted on a number of levels, but each security layer has a failsafe that shuts down the whole mechanism as soon as an anomaly occurs."

"Meaning?" Talon asked.

"If I fail to crack a layer just once, then the whole thing's fried and I'm gonna have to start over. Problem is, each of these cards probably has a different set of codes. But if they're going to mass-produce them like this, they probably have a system to generate the codes."

"Couldn't you program your datapad to crack the system instead?"

Xana looked at him like he was crazy. Talon bit his lip in embarrassment over his half-baked suggestion. He knew he wasn't good with computers to start with, but he'd hoped it would've taken longer for him to make a fool out of himself.

"No...I'm going to have to go in there manually and crack the individual codes myself. Kind of like computer surgery."

Splicer set up a small stand under the scanner, to hold the chip in place. Xana extracted two tools from her case: one that looked like a skewer and another that resembled a miniature antenna. She synced both to the computer terminal. Pulses of electricity began to undulate around the tools' edges. Splicer picked up his datapad and began to monitor the process.

Xana deftly maneuvered both tools over the first embedded chip in the ID card, prodding it around the corners with the first tool and then lightly tapping it with the second. Characters appeared on the screen in Basic and she read out slowly, "First layer: Addition."

Splicer added, "Mm. Looks like a numerical sequence code. Let me take a crack at it."

A line of increasing numbers lay below, with one missing from the middle. Splicer tapped his datapad and brought up a command prompt.

[COMMAND:/generate probable choice var numeric format]

[ENTER]

A series of odd numbers then appeared on the terminal's options screen.

"What do you make of that?" Splicer mused.

"Looks like you have to input a number that's missing from the pattern, in order to bypass the security layer." Xana selected the one closest to her estimate of the missing number. The screen blanked out before flashing:

[SUCCESS. FIRST LAYER BYPASSED.]

Xana let out a sigh of relief. This would be easier than she'd thought. Together, she and Splicer proceeded to deftly slice through three more layers. Talon stood behind them and watched, enraptured by the way they worked. Their hands moved almost of one accord, bringing up programs, exchanging tools, and tapping at the screens with near-perfect timing. It was almost as if they already knew what the other needed done, without even exchanging a single word.

He regarded the two smugglers next to him in a new light. At first, he couldn't see why Xana had such a fondness for the shady yet debonair man, but now he saw the thick bond of friendship forged between them. They had little need for questions or idle words; they simply knew each other. That bond had existed long before he'd met Xana, and would continue long after they parted ways. He honestly didn't know how to feel about that.

Xana surprised him even more. He knew she was intelligent and clever, but he seriously hadn't expected her to have such a professional side. She talked with such sophistication and elegance now, when half of her vocabulary normally consisted of "oh, frag" and meaningless sarcasm. The same hands that liberally fried hostiles with Force lightning were now moving gracefully and fluidly in the tiniest of workspaces. Talon wasn't going to lie to himself; it all made him feel rather inadequate.

"Frag it," she muttered suddenly. There was the Xana he knew.

"What's wrong?" Talon piped up.

"Says here that this layer is a logarithmic pattern. I really never understood anything past basic mathematics. Are you good with stuff like this?"

Talon smiled broadly. Little did she know that, prior to Telos' bombing, he'd been set to go to secondary school on a mathematics scholarship.

"Sure, let me take a look at it," Talon replied coolly. His eyes took in the line of numbers on the screen and he quickly did the calculations in his head. Just to be sure, he re-did them once, then twice over. Holding his breath, he selected the corresponding option on the screen and nearly cheered with joy when the bypass screen flared to life.

Xana grinned up at him gratefully, "Looks like we're in. Now all we need to do is change the personal info here to match my own, patch up the code sequence, and we are good to go!" Xana tapped her datapad a few more times, then snatched up the ID card.

"All right," Splicer commented happily, "Now all we have to do is get two more of those ready, and we'll be set for phase two of the mission prep."

Talon looked at Splicer skeptically, "What's phase two?"

Xana and Splicer traded a sideways glance, smirking all the while.

* * *

"_Makeovers_?" Talon exclaimed, pointing at the bottles of hair dye and makeup in Xana's arms. Her hair had been dyed light brown, with blonde-and-purple bangs, and Splicer's red locks were now a deep auburn. Their faces had been carefully painted so that Xana appeared tan, while Splicer was almost deathly pale. Xana was wearing a sleek black-and-silver combat suit that he'd never seen before.

"They have cameras," Xana explained patiently. "How are we going to explain it to the authorities if they show up at our loading ramp with a still image of us breaking and entering?"

"So the only solution is to make it look like it's not _us_," Splicer added.

Xana pointed to the refresher, "Now get in there and take one for the team."

"I don't even know how to do this!" Talon exclaimed, pointing to the hair dye.

Xana rolled her eyes, "_I'll_ do it, then." She shoved him into the refresher, following right behind. Xana pointed at the floor, implying that she wanted him to sit so she could reach his hair.

Talon tried one last attempt at reasoning with her, "Is this really necessary? I mean-"

"_Now._"

He dutifully knelt in front of the sink and steeled himself. Talon sighed mournfully – when had he been reduced to enduring girly makeovers in the line of duty?

"This _is_ temporary, right?" he asked, trying not to wince at the cold goo being worked into his hair.

"Yeah, we'll wash the dye off right before we exit the base. It comes off with a special chemical that we'll be taking with us," Xana replied.

He offered no reply, just closed his eyes and tensed up.

Xana patted the top of his head compassionately as she finished dying his hair black. She began to hum jazz scales as she combed his hair into a fauxhawk and dyed the top purple. Talon leaned his forehead against the bowl of the sink, focusing on the soothing crescendo of her singing. Her voice wafted through the air like a leaf in the wind, working up to a silvery trill whenever she hit the highest note in the scale. He almost felt like falling asleep.

Suddenly, he felt his head being dunked under water and a towel being thrown onto his back.

Xana ordered, "You're done. Now fix that fauxhawk and get back out there. Splice and I will be sparring in the cargo hold."

Talon nodded, spluttering and looking miserably at the purple bangs hanging in his eyes. As Xana turned to leave, she added over her shoulder, "If it's any consolation, you do look really nice with black and purple hair."

He wiped his face and replied, "Thanks, you look nice with dyed hair too."

"Think we should keep it?"

Talon chuckled and fingered a lock of purple hair. "When the Sith take up flower arranging and ballet."

* * *

The group of six sauntered down the hall, looking every bit like the dangerous mercs patrolling the city. Steam from the floor vents blew their hair out of their faces and created a rather impressive effect as they walked abnormally slow. Passerby turned their heads to watch, either in awe or dumbstruck amusement.

"Why do you always insist on doing this?" Splicer hissed to Xana.

"Shut up, you'll ruin the effect!"

As they passed by the Sith docking bay, Splicer made a subtle two-fingered gesture towards the door.

A circular disc dropped from Jett's sleeve into his palm. He pressed the button in the center and a high-pitched whine emanated from it. All the cameras within viewing radius went on the fritz, and Mission set to slicing the door. It hissed open in seconds, revealing some very surprised techs.

"What the-" one exclaimed. Faye jumped forward suddenly, stunning him with an Exchange 'negotiator'. The secondary infiltration group rushed into the hangar and shut the door just as the cameras went online. Xana just barely caught a glimpse of Mission diving off the entrance platform and sailing toward a guard with her swords raised in an X-formation.

She smiled broadly and repressed a sentimental tear. That girl did her proud.

* * *

Xana, Talon, and Splicer entered the Sith base, Xana boldly staring down the guard at the counter.

"Identification cards?" he asked skeptically. Xana held one out to him. He checked it against the records in the database, glancing up at the team frequently.

Xana couldn't blame him; they did look pretty imposing. She was clad in her heavy silver-and-black armor, Splicer was dressed – as usual – in his ratty black trench coat with knuckle blades on full display, and Talon was tricked out in army-issue combat style clothes. They all had black masks over the bottom halves of their faces, and Xana and Splicer had their long hair tied back into ponytails.

The guard handed her card back and replied, "The code checks out, but it's a pretty old one. You can go in; I just have to radio the main desk first to see if you have an appointment-" Before the guard could reach for the comm button, Splicer leapt forward and clamped his hand onto the man's shoulder. He depressed a pressure point in the guard's neck, causing him to pass out and fall to the floor.

"Well, so much for subtlety," Xana shrugged in mock disappointment, eying the cameras that had caught everything. She opened the door and ran in.

The Sith receptionist facepalmed, looking at the displays on her computer terminal. She had no idea how the situation had degenerated so quickly. First, an empty shuttle had docked in the landing bay. The infrared sensors indicated cloaked movement for a few seconds, until the computer terminal in the docking bay had mysteriously activated and the systems in that entire area shut down. She'd been so preoccupied with trying to get sensors back online, that she'd almost missed the group of hostile-looking mercs incapacitating the front guard. Not good; definitely not good. She slammed down the comm button and hollered, "Security! We need security in the reception area!"

-2-

A contingent of Sith troopers and combat droids was already waiting for the three teenagers when they walked in. Talon spun both his blasters and fired straight out, pumping the droids full of plasma bolts. Xana Force-jumped, landing on the reception desk with a _thump._ Before anyone could even react, she let loose a massive Force Repulse. Shock waves of purple energy streamed out and slammed all the hostiles into the back wall. She whipped out her lightsabers and spun them around, taking out anything in a five-foot radius. Splicer pounced next, finishing off the remaining stunned troopers with his knuckle blades.

"Well, that was easy," Xana said airily. She jumped down into the receptionist's computer station and tapped into the security system. Splicer joined her, and within moments, they had erased the security footage, disabled the cameras, unlocked all the security doors, deactivated the combat droids' shields, and gassed out the barracks.

Talon watched them with a wary eye. "Something tells me you've done this before," he commented sarcastically.

Xana shrugged, "Not our fault these poor suckers make their security systems all the same. But then again, espionage wouldn't be as fun if we actually had to work for it." She smiled and ripped out the hallway door with the Force, gesturing into the empty passage like a stewardess. "After you, gentlemen."

They ran through the leftmost door and took a turn. Xana saw a guard approaching and, vaulting off the walls in a zigzag pattern, took him out before he could reach for his blaster rifle. She palmed open the nearest door. Luckily, it contained the droid they were looking for...as well as several Mark IV combat droids. Xana stunned them with Force lightning and increased her speed.

The two boys bolted through the doorway, just as Xana leapt onto one of the droids and began to pepper it with an inhumanly fast flurry of lightsaber strikes. Splicer pointed to her and asked Talon, "Okay, now that's just freaky. Do you _ever_ get used to seeing her fight like that?"

Talon sighed and shook his head.

"A little help here, ladies?" Xana bellowed, pointing to the other droid. Splicer withdrew a vibroblade from his coat pocket and, leaping into the air, drove it straight through the droid's core.

"Are you satisfied now, Your Highness?" he taunted back.

Xana batted her eyelashes at him mockingly, "Very. Now, loyal squire, if you would be so kind as to get your lazy arse over here and help me decrypt this droid, that would be lovely."

Splicer rolled his eyes, but obliged. As he walked by Talon, he mouthed exasperatedly, "You never win with her!"

Talon couldn't help but snicker; he knew the poor man's misfortune all too well. At the very least, he reasoned, Xana had someone to pick on besides him.

Mission, Jett, and Faye came running into the room moments later. The Serrocan tech and blonde smuggler looked impassive, but even a blind Gamorrean could tell that the team's youngest member was crestfallen.

"We missed the fun, didn't we?" Mission asked woefully.

"Nope," Xana replied, turning around from where she and Splicer were hunched over a datapad. "We've still got the scour the rest of the base for missing Selkath spawn."

"But why?" Talon asked. "We've got what we came for; we should get out while we still can."

"I don't think so. Splicer helped us with our mission, so we need to help him with his."

"But we didn't even need him here!" Talon exclaimed exasperatedly.

"I feel so loved," Splicer's voice dripped with sarcasm. "Come on, man! If you're not gonna do this for your good ol' buddy Splice, then you might as well do it for the poor Selkath kiddies held captive by the Sith."

"Got the data," Xana interrupted, holding up her datapad. "No more arguments, we're moving out."

Bringing up a map of the base on her screen, Xana guided her group through the labyrinth of hallways. She stopped just outside the control room. "Weapons ready," she ordered, opening the door. Xana jumped through first, hopping on top of the nearest console and frying everything with Force lightning. A few troopers got up and were promptly picked off by Mission and Talon's blaster fire.

Jett darted forward and began to hotwire the pressure doors leading to the holding area. Xana looked fondly at the quiet tech. She'd never been particularly close friends with him, and yet he was so willing to jump into danger and help her. Faye was much the same. Although she and Xana were polar opposites, she remained immensely loyal if only for their old comradeship.

The heavy doors slid open. Xana jumped down from atop the control computers, with almost catlike grace. She joined Splicer at the forefront of the group, peering down a hallway that contained two identical doors on either end.

"So which way do we go, milady?" Splicer asked with a playful nudge.

Xana pursed her lips and checked her datapad. "Dunno. Either one of these rooms looks like they could hold captives. There's one difference, though – the one to the left branches off into more rooms, but the one to the right is solitary."

"Right, then?"

"The right it is," Xana confirmed. She strode to the end of the hall, letting Mission pick the lock for her.

The door opened easily. Three Dark Jedi looked up at the intruders.

"Okay, that was definitely not the right one," she murmured, paling visibly.

"Get behind us!" Splicer screamed to the rest of their group, as the Dark Jedi advanced on them. "Xana and I will fight – the rest of you find somewhere to hide!" The Dark Jedi began to rain strikes down on them, and the others soon saw his point. Blasters would do no good, and nobody but a master swordsman could hope to block fast enough.

Talon spared one last longing look at the battle, before shepherding the others down the hall and out of sight. It was going to kill him inside to just wait this out, but he had his duty to the rest of the team and he wouldn't dare risk Xana's wrath for not staying behind to protect Mission.

-3-

"Ready to kick it up a notch?" Xana gritted, already struggling to stave off the attacks.

"You know it," Splicer replied with a smirk. Splicer ducked, letting his opponent's lightsaber sail over his head. Xana's red saber activated and blocked her opponent's, while her purple saber shot out and got a hit on the other Dark Jedi's arm. She used the distraction to Force push them back into the room.

The first two Dark Jedi slammed into the wall, allowing Xana and Splicer to rush into the room. Splicer fended off the attacks from the third Dark Jedi, while Xana darted forward to take on the other two. Her lightsabers moved in wide arcs, fending off their attacks with precision she never even knew she possessed. She blocked a well-aimed strike to the midsection, while her red saber flew behind her to protect her back. She used this current position to twirl and deliver a flurry of two-handed blows, driving the two Dark Jedi back.

Xana caught Splicer's eye from across the room, and he nodded. She placed one of the Dark Jedi in stasis, and engaged the second one in a ferocious set of strikes. When he was least expecting it, she gripped him with the Force and sent him flying toward Splicer. The smuggler, who had been feinting tiredness, suddenly landed a kick on his opponent's gut and sent him sprawling to the floor. He leaped and spun in the air, twirling his swords like a deadly tornado as the unfortunate Dark Jedi careened towards him.

Splicer landed in a graceful crouch, blades angled towards the floor. Just as his newly-recovered opponent was about to bring a saber down on his back, Xana darted forward and parried the strike. Splicer recovered and spun around, withdrawing a throwing dagger from his boot and hurling it at the Dark Jedi in stasis. Unfortunately, the stasis wore off just then, allowing the Dark Jedi to dodge out of the way at the last minute.

Splicer and Xana stood back-to-back now, each fending off attacks and trying to find an opening for a hit.

"Xana," he gasped, "if I don't make it out of this, I wanted to tell you one more time-"

"I know!" she screamed back. "Don't think like that, though! We'll make it!"

He suddenly began to count down, "3...2...1...GO!" Both Splicer and Xana ducked and rolled out of harm's way. Xana Force pushed them again, while they were caught off guard. One slumped against the wall, stunned, while the other recovered. Splicer ran to the far end of the room and began hurling daggers at the able-bodied one, trying to draw him away from Xana.

Xana vaulted off the walls, throwing her lightsaber at the stunned Dark Jedi whilst flying through the air. It hit dead-center. She summoned her lightsaber back to her hand as she landed, smirking triumphantly. _Two down, only one to go. _

Her heart nearly stopped when she heard a bloodcurdling cry echo behind her. She whipped around and saw red when she took in the sight before her. Splicer had dropped his vibroblades and was on the floor, clutching his leg. The Dark Jedi stood over him, lightsaber raised. Xana snarled angrily. She would _not_ let this man take her best friend from her!

Xana darted forward in desperation and fury. Time seemed to move in slow motion as she zeroed in on the Dark Jedi. The edges of her vision turned red, and the _whooshes_ of her lightsaber sounded muted and far-away. She _thought_ she felt some hits make contact with her arms, as she was too focused on beating back her opponent to pay attention to form anymore, but she was too honed in on the battle to feel anything. Xana's strikes came fast and sure, driving the Dark Jedi into the corner.

She smirked darkly. Xana had almost forgotten what it was like to give in and be swept away in the current of battle.

Xana spun almost too quickly to be seen, bringing her lightsabers around full-circle and ending the fight.

She shook her head, trying to clear it of adrenaline, as she deactivated her lightsabers and rushed to Splicer's side. "Splice?" she asked weakly. "You okay?"

He groaned, "My leg hurts like hell, but I'll live." He opened his eyes and gave her a shaky smile.

Xana looked down and gasped. A good-sized slash had been seared into his upper leg, though it probably hadn't hit the bone. She unclipped a few medpacs from her belt and began to inject them. Splicer flinched every time the hypospray made contact with his injury, but otherwise remained quiet.

Xana helped him sit up and asked, "How do you feel now?"

"Not quite as sucky."

The wound had closed at least, so Xana figured he would be alright. Xana slowly helped him to his feet, letting him lean on her as he tried putting weight on his leg. Carefully, the two hobbled out of the door and into the hallway.

As they opened doors, searching for their companions, Splicer decided to speak up, "You had another one of your 'episodes', didn't you? I thought you said you could block it." His tone was stern, yet gentle at the same time.

"I can, and I chose not to. I did it for you," Xana snapped with a sudden veracity. "And no, this is not up for discussion."

"I told you not to let the battle rush take over; nothing is worth you turning into that monster, not even my life."

"I think I'll be the judge of that, Splicer," Xana replied coldly. She shoved his arm off her shoulders, leaving him to limp behind as she angrily palmed doors open. Xana couldn't describe how vindicating it felt to be able to protect those she cared about, to hold the power to make sure that everything she held dear was secure. Nobody, even Splicer, was in a position to tell her what she should and shouldn't do with that ability.

_But__ are you really protecting them by being this way?_ Xana asked herself, looking back and seeing the hurt written across Splicer's face.

She pushed the thought aside and opened the door to her left. Inside, Talon was guarding the other three members of their team with both blasters pointed at the door. Mission was crouched behind a bunk and Jett stood in the corner, holding Faye in his arms.

"They're dead," Xana announced. "Let's go before more show up." Without waiting for her companions to group together, she Force-sprinted toward the apprentice dormitories.

_I'm not letting it take over_, she reasoned to herself. _I'm just in the groove of combat…they don't understand, they want to take it away. I only need it for a few minutes longer – just a couple more fights before they come to take it away_.

Xana used a Force Repulse to bash in the training room door. It flew across the room, taking out the two training droids and causing an unsuspecting Selkath apprentice to require a fresh jumpsuit. She placed him in stasis and raced into the adjoining hallway, suddenly sensing another Dark Jedi nearby.

Xana snarled in distaste. She had to take out the Dark Jedi before he could endanger her friends. Without missing a beat, Xana bashed open the other training room door as well. It made her oddly satisfied to see the thick slab of metal crunch and crumple under her fingers.

The Dark Jedi and his Selkath apprentices looked up with cold smiles on their faces. Xana flicked her hand, knocking the two Selkath out cold with a single Force push. She darted forward again, expecting time to slow down and the battle reverie to take over again. It didn't come.

Attacks rained down on her, and she scrambled to get back out of striking range. She huffed in annoyance – brute strength never was her thing.

Frantic eyes scanned the room for any kind of advantage. It was bare save for a power conduit in the corner. Xana turned around and ran for it. As expected, the Dark Jedi gave chase. Just as he was about to leap into the air and deliver a crushing blow, Xana dodged and shot a bolt of Force lightning at the conduit, causing an explosion that completely fried the Dark Jedi.

Xana knelt on the ground, breathing heavily. Her instincts were screaming at her to get up, to continue fighting, to _battle_. The impulse was worming itself into her very consciousness, so much so that she could actually feel it eating away at her. Splicer was right, she really was having another one of her 'episodes'.

She buried her face in her palms, attempting to find a sense of calm again. She'd been wrong to give this _thing_ a foothold in her mind, she'd been foolish in not listening to Splicer's warning, and now she was trapped in a mental labyrinth, battling against her own roiling emotions.

Meanwhile, Splicer and Talon were busy directing their little group down the path of carnage that Xana had left behind. They got to the annex of the training facility, and Splicer ordered them to split up.

"Faye, Jett, and Mission, search those rooms and focus on finding the Selkath. Talon and I should go after Xana," he commanded. For once, Talon merely nodded in agreement and followed the older boy without question.

As soon as the three younger members of the strike team disappeared, Splicer and Talon entered the training room that Xana had obviously ravaged. They found her, slumped forward and kneeling in front of a smoking Dark Jedi. Her back was facing them and she gave no indication that she'd noticed their presence.

Splicer approached her slowly and placed a hand on her shoulder. "It happened again, didn't it?" he whispered.

"Yeah," Xana sighed. "I'm sorry; I – I'm trying to get it under control. It's hard…harder than before, now that I can use the Force. I don't know if I can do it this time."

Splicer knelt down in front of her, gently removing her hands from her face. "Look at me, no, Xana, you need to look at me. That's right, into my eyes," he coaxed. "Focus on the sound of my voice. You're safe. You don't need to fight anymore. Just calm down."

Xana's hands stopped shaking as she mentally latched on to his words. The urge to strike out at random and the unexplainable frustration within her began to die down gradually. She gulped and whispered unsteadily, "What color are my eyes?"

Splicer's gaze flicked up to Talon for a moment, regarding the soldier with distrust. He leaned in to whisper back, "Yellow."

It was a ghost of a word, barely audible even though he spoke right in her ear. To Xana, it could have practically been broadcast over the intercom, with how badly she feared being overheard. Xana stood and wrapped her arms around herself, eyes tear-brimmed and downcast for fear of anyone seeing them. "I'm a monster," she murmured, staring emptily at the floor.

In her peripheral vision, she could just barely see a hand being proffered behind her. She slowly turned and took it, careful to shut her eyes as Talon draw her into a hug. Xana could practically sense Splicer seething behind her, but she merely recoiled deeper into the embrace.

A moment later, Xana abruptly pushed away. She was grateful for the proffered comfort, but there was a mission to complete. There would be time for self-pity later. Xana excused herself, disappearing into the Dark Jedi's quarters to search it for anything of importance.

"Care to tell me what the hell is going on?" Talon asked incredulously, looking at Splicer.

Splicer drew in a long breath and turned to Talon, trying to formulate words to describe Xana's condition. He explained, "Whenever we got into intense, life-or-death situations, she would get this 'battle rush' where she'd keep fighting harder and better, until she'd practically become a combat machine running on pure adrenaline. But Xana always had a hard time coming down from that rush; oftentimes it would escalate to the point where she'd pull crazy or dangerous stunts just to avoid doing so. So far, I've been the only one able to snap her out of it."

"Well, um, that could certainly pose a problem," Talon blurted out worriedly. "What happens if she gets like this again and it can't be fixed?"

Splicer rolled his eyes and glared at Talon, "It's not a _disease_, you ignorant bantha, it's a mental reaction that she happens to be very _sensitive_ about! Xana has lost so much and lived on the brink for so long, being invincible is one of the most precious things she can have." He added angrily, "I would know, because I'm the same way. I just don't…respond…the way she does."

Talon tried to form a response, but remained silent from shame. Splicer snapped, "Now, I'm off to help her loot that Sith dude's quarters." He angrily turned on his heel and stormed into said quarters.

Talon could hear muffled voices from within. No doubt, the smuggler was informing Xana of their previous conversation.

Xana reappeared and approached him, wearing an expression of sympathy rather than the expected rage. "Don't listen to him," she said quietly. "You have nothing to be sorry for; most people don't understand anyway." She walked to the other side of the room and leaned against the wall, having regained her composure. Talon wished he knew what to say; anything that would have the calming effect that Splicer's words had on her, but his mind was still blank.

Splicer walked back into the room a moment later, clutching a few thousand credits and a datapad. He pressed one of the credit chips into Xana's hand and declared, "So, shall we check on our other team and get the frag out of here?" He spoke airily, as if nothing had even happened.

Xana caught this and reciprocated, "All right, let's do this!"

They exited the training room to find Mission, Jett, and Faye surrounded by irate Selkath. "What's going on here?" Xana demanded.

"They won't believe us!" Mission cried nervously. "I think they're gonna try and pull their vibroblades on us or somethin'!"

"Hold up there, kiddies," Splicer interrupted. "I got something here that might just change your mind. It's the Sith instructor's agenda to turn you against your home planet." He tossed his datapad to the leader of the Selkath group.

The alien turned to Xana, gurgling an anxious question. She responded with a set of equally urgent gurgles, pointing to Mission and then the corridor. Relief dawned in the Selkath's eyes, and they all gestured enthusiastically.

Xana spoke to Mission, Jett, and Faye, "You three get the Selkath out of here on the shuttle you used to break in with. They'll report to the Manaan High Court once they're free. We, on the other hand, will be getting out a different way."

Mission nodded and mock-saluted Xana, "All righty, then. See you on the outside, chief." The group of adolescents charged down the corridor and disappeared around the corner.

"Okay, so we've razed through half the base and no doubt alerted the authorities to our presence. Now would be a really good time to put your brilliant escape plan into use," Talon commented.

"First things first, we need to find a locker room," Xana replied, scanning the hallways.

Talon looked at her dubiously. "You do know I am trusting you with my life, right?"

"And I thought we were having a tea party here," Xana shot back.

After Splicer located the nearest locker room, the three proceeded to rinse the dye out of their hair and borrow Sith uniforms to fit over their clothes. The whole process took less than five minutes, and they were soon on the heels of the remaining evacuees from the base. When they came upon a Selkath patrol in the outer lobby, Splicer nudged Talon back and nodded toward Xana.

"Watch this," he whispered.

Before the officers could even begin questioning, Xana put on her best 'damsel in distress' voice and proclaimed, "Oh, it's just _terrible_ in there! My friends and I were in the locker rooms after training when we heard all these explosions go off, and the next thing we know, there's alarms blaring all over the place and people are running for the exit!"

"Calm down, ma'am," the officer ordered. "Rest assured, the Ahto City legal system will apprehend whoever was responsible for disturbing the peace here. May I see your identification?"

Xana presented him with her hacked ID card. The Selkath ran it under a pocket scanner and gave the data a brief once-over, before handing it back to her. "You check out okay. Best be on your way, citizens."

"Thank you so much, sir. It reassures me to be living under such a _competent_ governmental system," Xana replied. The officer dismissed them with a nod, and the three teens walked right out into Ahto City's east wing.

Xana smirked and muttered under her breath, "Suckers."

* * *

"Augh, finally!" Xana breathed, stumbling onto the Ebon Hawk. "I can't believe we actually pulled that off! Now I'm ready for a nice evening with a datapad in one hand and a caffa cup in the other."

Sadly, it was not to be so. Xana and Talon walked into the common room to find Canderous and Juhani in a heated yelling match, each holding on to one of Sasha's hands. Mission sat atop the central computer, swinging her legs and munching on a fruit as she watched.

"Will you stop turning trying to smother this child with useless coddling?" Canderous shouted exasperatedly. "Can't you see your bizarre Cathari lullabies and endless attention are scaring her?"

"Well, it's better than trying to calm her down by showing her your _vibroblade collection!_" Juhani shot back.

"She's old enough to be taught the art of survival! I'm trying to instill a sense of strength and an appreciation of fine weaponry! It's nothing to _cry_ over."

"You are being too harsh! She is confused, afraid, and most likely misses her parents. She needs care and attention, _not_ ruthless training."

"This _is_ the Mandalorian way of showing care and attention! You Republics are just too soft, it's a wonder your side even lasted in the wars long enough for the Jedi to get there!"

Sasha was gazing up at the two adults looming over her, silently letting tears run from her wide eyes. They continued to debate about childcare, ironically, all but forgetting the clearly distressed child they were supposed to be taking care of.

Mission rolled her eyes and cut in, "Sheesh, will you two give it a rest already? You sound like an old married couple arguing about how to bring up their kid!"

Canderous and Juhani immediately fell silent, turning ever so slightly pink. They glanced awkwardly from Mission, to Sasha, to each other.

Mission hopped down from her seat and crossed over to them. "Kids don't need perfect families, they just need someone to love 'em and make 'em feel safe," she advised. "See?" She knelt down at Sasha's eye level and opened her arms for the child, smiling kindly. The little girl rushed forward and crushed Mission in a hug, bawling into her shoulder. Mission gently rocked the child back and forth until she settled peacefully in her lap.

Canderous and Juhani stared in awe, surprised that the fourteen-year-old Twi'lek had easily managed to accomplish what they'd been trying to do for days. Sasha was quiet and calm, almost on the verge of sleep.

They supposed they'd been bickering a bit too much, arguing about everything from what to feed the child, to when she should to go sleep, to whose turn it was to watch over her. It was only natural for them to slip into a bit of a 'stressed parent' routine.

Juhani acquiesced, "I suppose we could try to compromise more, if it would make us better...parents...to the little one."

"Good," Mission replied. "Now I want you to try what I just did."

Canderous lifted the child out of Mission's arms, blanching when she started to whimper again. Awkwardly, he bounced the small girl in his arms until she became quiet.

"See, you're getting it!" Mission declared cheerfully, skipping off to the cargo hold to play pazaak with Big Z. "Call me if you need any more advice!"

Xana smiled and shook her head. They really did need to start giving that kid more credit.

* * *

**Well, how's that for smashtastic AU awesomeness? T'was fun to develop Splicer's persona and forge his relationship with Xana, rather than just have him be a side character in her past. Heck, it's fun just to take that smuggler past and integrate it into Kotor.**

**Augh...sorries about the delay. My fabulous beta reader writtenrhythm beta'd this a long time ago (thank you, by the way!), but I kinda forgot about it whilst working on the next chapter. Seriously, the next one's really, really jam-packed with action and emotion, and it's gonna be about 20 pages long...so it takes awhile to get that kinda stuff right. Forgive me? :) If so, leave a review if you please. **


	20. Into The Depths

Chapter 18, Part 1 – Into the Depths

Soundtrack:

Hrakert Rift - Fire It Up by Thousand Foot Krutch

* * *

Xana lay curled in the cargo hold's storage niche, absentmindedly sharpening her knuckle blades. She hadn't used them in forever, but sharpening the glinting metal was simply something she took to doing while she was thinking. More specifically, thinking about Splicer.

_I'm skirting danger_, she berated herself absentmindedly. _I shouldn't be opening this Pandora's box, especially not now. Not when all these emotions could literally be the death of me. _

_Emotions, _she scoffed at herself. _What kind of leader am I, if I'm not even strong enough to hold back a few fragging tears? How can I direct others when I can't even get a hold of myself? _Xana punctuated this thought by an extra-hard clink of the sharpening stone against the blade. All she could feel at the moment was frustration.

She knew there would be hell to pay if any of the onboard Jedi caught wind of just how deep her attachments ran. So, she was forced to pretend they never existed, if only for convenience's sake. And if there was anything Xana hated, it was pretensions.

Not only that, she couldn't get Talon and Splicer's different reactions out of her head. She mentally tallied them up against each other, all the while inspecting her blade in the dim light.

Each boy had their own distinctive, insurmountable faults. Splicer was charming and considerate, but going nowhere with his life. Friendships put aside, Xana knew she was much better off without him.

Talon was a talented, capable guy who'd made something of his life, but he was bound by duty. From what Xana knew of his life, she was sure they couldn't work out as anything but friends. She liked him, to be sure, but she had to be logical as well. He was a soldier, she was a rogue Jedi; he played by the books, she was a vigilante; he was on a surefire path to success, she didn't even know if she'd survive the next year.

Xana tossed the sharpening stone against the far wall, looking at it in disgust. She ran her hands through her hair, pulling it angrily once her fingers were embedded in the jet-black locks. The slight pain took the edge off her frustration. She sighed in relief before resuming her mental rant.

_This is why I stay single. Every heroine is supposed to have their Prince Charming, but I gotta be the only girl who's got two and can't pick either one. _

_And in the unlikely event that I ever forget…_

"Hey, Bass," Xana unenthusiastically called behind her, sensing her bond-sister's presence in the doorway. The Jedi strode into the room, sternness written all over her face.

"I must speak with you," she replied curtly.

Xana put down the blades and looked over at Bastila. "Okay, shoot."

"During today's briefing, Lieutenant Averra has informed me of what transpired in the Sith base."

Xana retained her composure, even though her mind was reeling with a sudden attack of anxiety. Mentally cursing Talon's misplaced sense of loyalty, she drawled, "As I recall, a lot of things transpired when we infiltrated the Sith base. What did he bring up, exactly?"

"Aside from the fact that you went on a single-handed battle spree, presumably set off by protecting your smuggler friend, and had a nervous breakdown in a Dark Jedi's training room…nothing of consequence."

"Oh, that," Xana admitted sheepishly.

"I assume that, after your time in the Jedi Enclave, you've learned what it is truly called to succumb to battle fever so completely."

Xana nodded, staring Bastila down with a glare that just _dared_ the older woman to try and correct her. "Force Rage. A rather unpredictable dark side technique that makes one invincible to a point and increases combat skills to an almost superhuman ability," she recited coldly. "One that, I might add, saved the life of my friend and is totally under my control."

Bastila threw her hands up in the air exasperatedly, "Do you not _know_ how dangerous this is? We, as Jedi, are supposed to avoid the dark side at all costs, not use it as some sort of…battle enhancer! I forbid you to use it any further!"

Xana got up and stood in front of Bastila, pointing a finger in her face, "First of all, nobody on this ship _forbids_ me from doing anything! Second, it's not like I abuse it – this is the first time I've used it in months and it was to save someone from certain death!"

"Yes, but imagine what would happen if you were unable to fend off its' addictive nature. What if civilians or your crew stood in your way? Would you recognize Mission, Carth, or Sasha in the heat of battle?"

Xana faltered, but spluttered out, "Of course I would! I'd see them a mile away on a battlefield!"

"Lieutenant Averra, then? Surely, with him being a professional soldier, you wouldn't be able to tell him apart unless your mind was unclouded."

Xana's mind was suddenly overcome with the image of Talon lying at her feet, injured by her own hand. As angry as she was with him, the epiphany suddenly hit her like a ton of bricks.

"Fine," she growled out, still glaring petulantly. Now all she had to do was pacify Bastila enough to shorten the inevitable lecture. "You're right; I'll stop."

"As glad as I am to hear that, there is still another matter that must be discussed," Bastila pressed on. Xana smacked herself mentally; she did not like where this was going at all. "It worries me that you were so quick to acquiesce once Lieutenant Averra's name was mentioned. I know that you've already formed some deep-rooted connections with other individuals – many of which are past dangerous, I might add – but the one you have with him seems to be the most prevalent."

"We're not involved, nor is he 'clouding my judgment', if that's what you're thinking," Xana snapped, her cheeks going red with indignation.

"I am merely concerned that, if a critical situation arises, you may forsake the logical choice of action in order to preserve his life. I need not remind you that attachments may distort priorities in our own minds, the foremost of which must be our quest for the Star Forge. Therefore, I think it would be best to contact the Republic army and have them send a replacement officer-"

"What? No!" Xana interjected quickly. Upon receiving a triumphant glare from Bastila, she recovered quickly and amended, "Bastila, he's got nowhere to go and no family save for Carth. Don't turn him out on account of me. Just…let him come on the mission to the ocean floor, and I'll prove to you that I can keep my logic and my friendships separate."

"Very well." Bastila's eyes softened for a moment as she regarded the younger Padawan. She added comfortingly, "You do know that I can sense the feelings of frustration your attachments are creating for you at the moment. I only want to help make things easier for you."

Xana sighed and looked up at her bond-sister, "Bastila, all relationships, no matter what kind, are going to come to an end. The key is finding people who'll be well worth the pain when you finally do have to say goodbye. At any rate, going through life without a single comrade in the world hurts a lot worse than losing someone you care about."

Bastila looked back down at Xana and asked, "So, do you think the attachments you have now are worth the struggle?"

Xana smiled, contemplating all the people who'd come into her life. She nodded and murmured, "Yeah. All things considered, I'd never give any of you up for all the solitary peace in the world."

* * *

Xana strode into the military base, heels clacking purposefully against the metal floor. Her eyes flashed with battle fever and her mind thrummed with anticipation of the mission.

She looked over her shoulder and smirked at Talon, Bastila, and Juhani, as if to say, _You ready for this_? Juhani and Bastila gave subtle nods in reply, and Talon smirked back at her.

Xana approached the front desk, where Carth was already speaking with the Republic ambassador. "They've got everything ready," Carth said. "You'll be taking a Republic submersible to a seafloor facility where they're harvesting kolto. Dig teams down there have been reporting an obstruction of possible ancient design."

"The Star Map," Xana replied. They all began to walk towards the docking bay, conversing as they went.

"Be careful, though," Carth warned. "It's been weeks since anyone's heard from the crew down there, and the mercs they've been sending haven't returned either."

"Go in, find the Star Map, investigate the disappearances, and get out," Xana recounted. "I think we can handle that." She flashed him a smile and a thumbs-up sign. The older man replied with a stony stare, reminding her that he was still angry at her.

Luckily, the walk to the docking bay was a short one, thus sparing Xana from any further awkwardness. "Shotgun!" she yelled, happily jumping into the front passenger seat of the submersible.

The others began to board, Bastila entering the submersible last. Right before she got in, Carth called from the doorway, "I meant it. Be careful. You don't know what's down there and we – the galaxy – can't lose you. Any one of you."

"Thank you, Carth," she replied. Realizing that she should probably try to reassure him, she added, "As with any other mission, I can't guarantee that we'll all be coming back - but I can tell you that we'll try our hardest."

"That's all I ask," he answered with a smile.

* * *

Talon desperately wished for a holorecorder. The looks on his team's faces were priceless. Xana looked outside constantly and wore an open-mouthed smile, making her look like a small child in an aquarium. Juhani was glaring – almost pouting - at the water outside the viewport, her fur bristling with distaste. Bastila was obviously unnerved at the firaxan sharks swimming by their small craft. Her façade of regal composure was completely given away by her panicked eyes and rapid breathing.

Talon tapped the controls airily, piloting them under a school of fish and into the facility's docking bay. "Here we are," he murmured, taking the submarine through its' shutdown procedures. The last of the seawater glided off the sub's transparisteel dome in shimmering rivulets. What it revealed, however, was much less pleasant.

A figure lay sprawled on the platform in front of the sub, eyes and mouth open in a silent scream. Xana shuddered, feeling a chill run down her spine. Beside her, Talon gulped audibly and un-holstered both his blaster pistols.

Without waiting for hesitation to set in, Xana mashed down the release button and popped the dome of the submersible. "Be on your guard," she ordered quietly.

Talon got out first, standing with weapons held at the ready as the three women climbed onto the platform. Xana activated her lightsaber and looked around. The place was a mess; a crashed submersible lay strewn across the neighboring platform, the lights were either flickering or shot out, and worse, there were several bodies lying at the far corners of the room.

Her mind began to race with dire thoughts. _Something did this; something that is obviously still in the base. Whatever it is, it probably possesses the predatory instincts to know that we're here. It could be lurking in this room right now…watching us…_

Xana turned in a full circle, only growing more anxious as she scanned the room. No matter where she faced, she almost always had her back to a shadowed corner. It unnerved the hell out of her.

"Xana? Are you all right?" Juhani's heavily-accented question bought her back to reality.

"I'm fine." Xana replied absentmindedly, trying to suppress the fear threatening to well up and distract her. She crouched by the nearest doorway, motioning for her team to do the same. When everyone was ready, she smacked the control button and spun into the doorway, brandishing her lightsabers. On the other side was a lone, very scared Twi'lek mercenary.

"What happened here?" she asked, nodding her head at the carnage behind her.

The Twi'lek spoke in a panicked frenzy, "Don't go any further, I beg you! All the Selkath researchers on this station have gone insane! The Republic sent me and a few other mercenaries to find out what was happening. We didn't get very far before we were attacked."

"Where are the others? Can we still rescue them?" Bastila cut in.

"No," the Twi'lek mourned, "I'm the only one left. I just barely managed to seal the door in time. There were others with me then, but they're gone now."

Xana assured him, "Don't worry, we'll get you to safety. If this station's crawling with hostiles, it's probably best that we head back up for reinforcements anyway."

The Twi'lek raved, "No! There's something in the water! On my way down, I swear I saw something – something huge - moving around outside. I said as much to the others, but they took the submersible anyway. The last thing I heard over the radio were shouts, then… static."

"Just when I thought the day couldn't get any better," Xana muttered. "Well, I guess our best bet is to storm the rest of the station and figure out what the frag is going on."

The Twi'lek suddenly produced a firearm and aimed it at the group. "Don't open that door! You'll let the Selkath in, and it'll be the end of us all! No…you're staying here where it's safe."

"Safe being a relative term, considering you're aiming a blaster at us," Talon deadpanned.

Xana rolled her eyes, "Be right back." She activated her stealth unit and disappeared.

The Twi'lek began to rant, "Don't play games with me! You'd better stay over there or I'll-"

He was cut off by a resounding _thud_, and promptly fell forward. Xana reappeared behind him, still grinning and holding her lightsaber hilt aloft.

"Was that really necessary?" Bastila asked.

"Yep!" Xana replied cheerily. "Now, let's go storm this base and find us a Star Map!"

* * *

"I don't like this."

"Which part, the fact that we're essentially trapped here, or the ominous scraping noises coming from the other side of that door? Cause I can't really decide which seems more delightful," Xana drawled sarcastically, turning to face Talon.

The lieutenant just rolled his eyes and continued slicing the door. Xana crouched next to him, ready to jump into the room at a moment's notice. Bastila and Juhani stood further back in a defensive position. They remained the epitome of Jedi focus; silent but deadly.

They were all still taken by surprise when the door slid open and a barrage of sonic blaster bolts whizzed forth. Talon barely managed to roll out of the way, scrambling over the two older Jedi and upsetting a couple of storage canisters in the process. He doubled back and drew his pistols, ready to cover Xana.

"Here we go!" she yelled, dodging into the room and swinging her lightsaber to deflect blaster bolts. Truth be told, she was just waving the shaft of purple light around randomly. It seemed to work well enough, though, so she didn't bother to question it.

Talon was at her back, taking out the insane Selkath from a distance. A couple of them, armed with vibroblades, rushed forth. Xana was forced to stop her 'human shield' charade and bring out her red saber, locking blades with them. Sonic bolts peppered the carapace of her armor.

Bastila took this as her cue to rush into the room, using her double-bladed lightsaber to deflect the rest of the blaster bolts. Juhani took one of the vibroblade-wielding Selkath by surprise, allowing Xana to bring her purple lightsaber around and finish off the other. Xana quickly dropped both her lightsabers, slamming the remaining Selkath against the wall with a Force push.

It was then that the pain struck. Xana's arms went around her midsection, where she'd taken the brunt of her damage. She exhaled and gasped, "Whoo-ee. Feels like I just took a jackhammer to the gut." Xana sunk onto the nearest plasteel container, batting away Talon and Juhani's offers of assistance.

"Eloquently put," Bastila said dryly. "You'll be fine. Sonic damage is a bit unpleasant, but does no real harm to the body unless you sustain a great deal of it."

"I'm so…relieved. And here I thought…I was going to sprout an extra arm," Xana wheezed, cynical as ever.

Several deep breaths and inventive oaths later, she was confident and geared-up as if nothing had ever happened. She stepped over the container, brightly clapping her hands together as if to say, "_Alright, so what's the damage?_" Alas, nothing could've prepared Xana for the scene that met her eyes.

"Holy hopscotch-playing fudge nuggets below," she muttered, finally having a good look at their situation. The room was trashed beyond all description. Lockers and other storage receptacles were literally ripped open. Their contents and former owners alike were haphazardly strewn about the floor. And this was only the damage of eight or so Selkath.

"My word," Juhani gasped, "It is as if they have truly lost all rational thought."

Xana blinked and closed her eyes, willing the feelings of fear and trauma to disappear into the recesses of her mind. It took but a moment before the old smirk was back on her face.

"Alrighty, so, if I'm grasping the situation correctly, we're currently trapped in a failing underwater base, accompanied by a horde of the living insane, and with no hope of calling for help?" Xana cupped a hand to her ear and asked curiously, "You hear that?"

Bastila shook her head, confused, "The water dripping from the ceilings?"

"Nope. That, my friend, is the sound of bantha crap hitting the fan."

Xana turned to Talon, who was sniggering at her comment. She held out her hand and wiggled her fingers in the classic 'give me' motion, "Hand me some firepower. Preferably, the closest thing to a shotgun that you're packing. If I'm gonna be facing down an army of zombie Selkath, I'm gonna do it right."

Juhani cut in, "But the Selkath here have merely been driven mad by a strange frequency. Technically, they are not, as you call them, _zombies_."

Xana accepted the requested firearm from Talon and shot back, "Yeah, well, I'm a sucker for horror movies and this is the closest thing I'll get to being an actual zombie slayer." She inspected the power cell and mumbled absentmindedly, "Beggars can't be choosers."

Bastila rolled her eyes and made a show of massaging her temples in frustration, "Xana, we are in a very dire situation at the moment. _Why_ must you choose _now_ to live out your absurd – and slightly unsettling – daydreams?"

"Do _not_," Xana growled, sliding the power cell back into place forcefully, "ruin this for me. I've waited seventeen years to be able to do this. Now, if we can get moving so I can assume my freedom-fighter rampage of awesomeness, that would be great." Talon didn't know what scared him more: the fact that Xana said all this with a straight face, or the fact that she was looking down the barrel of her blaster while she said it.

Still wearing that disturbingly calm expression, Xana promptly cocked the firearm and blasted the adjoining door's controls. Talon couldn't help but wonder if she had been kidding about the rampage or not. He quickly decided he'd rather not know.

Xana strode over to the next door and opened it. The two Selkath on the other side immediately started shooting. Xana immediately flattened herself behind the doorjamb, barking out, "I got this!"

Quick as lightning, she spun out and jumped into the adjoining room. Anchoring herself against the wall, she quickly lined up a shot and took out the nearest Selkath. She then Force-jumped and twirled mid-air, incapacitating the other with a rifle-butt. She smirked and muttered, "Oh_ frag_, yeah."

Turning to the others, she ordered, "Juhani, you take point since you're the only other Jedi Guardian here. Bastila should stay in the back and freeze all hostiles in stasis, as best she can. Talon, accompany Juhani and fire at will. I'll jump in and help out however I can."

They fought through a succession of rooms, Xana employing a combination of blaster shots and Force pushes. She fought like a machine, acrobatically vaulting off walls and various objects while firing. She constantly threw herself in the line of fire to protect her team, but always managed to hit her target. When Xana herself got hit, she simply shrugged off the pain and lost it in the rush of adrenaline.

Meanwhile, Bastila tried to contain the anxiety that gripped her. She briefly contemplated whether it would be cardiac arrest or Xana's blatant darksidedness that would finally do her in. _Oh yes,_ she thought, _nothing says "my job is easy" like the former dark lord of the Sith with a shotgun._

They entered the final room at the end of the hall, nobody batting an eyelash at the usual hostiles and carnage awaiting them. Xana turned and asked, "Juhani?"

Immediately, the other Jedi jumped into action. She cleared the room with a few graceful parries and sweeps of her lightsaber. It would have looked like an effortless dance, had it not been for Talon's cover fire sailing through the air.

"Very nice, guys. I think we've razed through most of them," Xana complimented, looking around the room. She looked around and muttered to no one in particular, "Looks like we've found ourselves in a storage room. Maybe there's something we can use here."

"Look here!" Juhani called the others over, as if on cue. She was standing over an open footlocker, which contained a device and some research notes. "It's a sonic device used to repel firaxan sharks; only a prototype, though."

"I'm sure that will come in handy on the ocean floor," Bastila added. "We should hang on to it, at least for the time being."

"Agreed," Xana replied, stuffing the device into her field pack. "So, how do we decide which lucky team member gets to chill with firaxan sharks? I'm guessing rock-paper-scissors won't cut it."

* * *

"Again, _why me_? You know, me, the one member of the team with a secret phobia of both drowning _and_ sharks?" Xana asked incredulously, sitting cross-legged on a bunk. Just down the hall from the storage room, they'd found a bunkroom with both an airlock and an empty environment suit. They'd decided to camp out there, as it was already past nightfall and the ocean floor was pitch-black.

"You are proficient at both combat and Force powers, not to mention computer slicing," Juhani assured her. "Therefore, you would be better equipped to handle anything that comes along."

Bastila added, "Yes, and as much as I don't like the idea of sending you out there alone, I'm afraid we have no choice. There's only one working environment suit."

"Whatever," Xana huffed, sprawling out on her back and glaring at the ceiling. She was racked with fatigue, and the prospect of facing down another horde of Selkath – alone this time – wasn't improving her temper much either.

Talon looked up from the locker he was searching. He felt as if he should say something, but didn't know if that would be wise with Bastila around. At any rate; the moment passed, and Talon stayed silent. He tossed an emergency blanket to each of the women, before wedging himself between two of the lockers and beginning the night watch. Juhani was content to curl up in a corner of the room, as Bastila had already commandeered the other bunk.

"Don't you think we should lock the door?" Talon asked, looking at the door worriedly.

Xana, haphazardly swaddled in her own blanket and half-asleep already, gave a dismissive wave. "The lock is shot; one of the Selkath damaged it with a stray blaster bolt. Still, I wouldn't worry if I were you. They can't open it. Sentiency out the airlock and all that, remember?"

"They only need to press a button!" he protested.

"Look, all the horror flicks out there prove that zombies – or zombie-like creatures – cannot open doors for some unfathomable reason. It's like a law of nature. Don't question it."

"But-"

"I _said_, don't question it," Xana snapped. "Besides, we dealt with most of 'em already. We'll be fine."

Talon sighed and settled against the lockers. Danger put aside, he was just glad to have a rest. He snuggled deeper into his leather jacket and fixed his tired eyes on the door.

Hours passed. The silence and steady drip of water were beginning to lull him to sleep, and the locker at his back seemed far more comfortable than it should have. Xana's words played over in this head. _It'll be fine._

He allowed his eyelids to droop just a little. _She's right; we should be okay. We thinned their numbers pretty badly, and I haven't heard anything outside since I started my watch. I guess it wouldn't hurt to rest my eyes for a few minutes_...

* * *

Xana slept fitfully that night, as her mind kept reacting to the nearby Star Map. Her dreams alternated between glimpses of the Star Map, reenactments of the day's combat, and brief scenes that she'd read from Revan's journal.

Finally, the flashes of imagery melded into a very vivid nightmare. In the dream, she was in a room at the end of a hall, with a whole pack of Selkath closing in. She desperately tried to close the door, but the mechanism was jammed. Xana tried to reach for her lightsaber and blaster, but both were missing.

There was a single moment of sheer, unadulterated horror as Xana realized she was trapped. Selkath flooded the room, rushing and clawing towards her. Xana shut her eyes and screamed, silently begging her mind to let her wake up.

Xana thrashed and her tear-filled eyes flew open. For one blessed moment, relief washed over her as reality registered itself in her mind again. _Oh, frag. It was just a dream…_

Her surroundings then came into focus, and her heart all but stopped in horror. Not two inches from her bedside stood a ragged, scaly being. The alien, standing in a flood of light from the hall, had been scanning the darkened room for movement. Xana held her breath and looked up at the Selkath, hoping against hope that it hadn't heard her.

Its' head snapped towards Xana and it let out a hissing snarl. _Crap_.

It pounced, easily batting away Xana's bare-handed attempts to shield herself. She tried to land a punch on its' snout, use its' own weight as leverage to knock it over, or elbow its' claws away; nothing worked. Xana was hardly surprised; it was near impossible to fight when one was already flat on one's back. She was stuck, barely managing to hold off its' jaws as it clawed her face and arms.

Suddenly, a blaster shot rang through the air and the Selkath froze. Just as it had turned around to face Talon, a shaft of yellow light arced through the air, finally defeating it. Xana gratefully shoved the alien away, trying to slow her panicked breaths.

"Xana, are you injured?" Bastila asked, checking her bond-sister's face and arms for injuries.

Xana pushed her away, not wanting anyone to know how hard she was shaking. She ran a hand through her hair and nodded unsteadily. She didn't dare speak, for she didn't trust her voice not to crack.

"Are you all right?" Bastila tried again.

Xana hid her face in her hands, shaking her head no. She was trembling full-force now. It was a harrowing experience to awaken from a nightmare, only to have it come to life before your eyes.

"What happened?" Bastila demanded, rounding on Talon.

"I...I'm sorry, ma'am. I was exhausted, and I fell asleep during my watch. It's my fault." Talon sheepishly brought a hand to the back of his neck, unable to meet the eyes of anyone in the room.

Bastila frowned. "Juhani and I will try and hunt down any Selkath in the vicinity, then we'll come back to guard the room. I don't want this happening again. Lieutenant, I suggest you get some rest while we're gone."

Xana mumbled her thanks, barely noticing as the two Jedi moved to stand just outside the door. She simply stared at the wall, too exhausted by her muddled thoughts to even move.

Talon stood awkwardly to the side, not knowing what to do. He felt responsible for putting Xana in this state, and thought he should try to help, at the very least. "You okay?" he asked quietly.

"I already said I'm fine," Xana sniffled. "Go back to sleep."

"You don't look okay."

Xana sighed and glared at him, "I just had a stupid nightmare, followed by a freak accident. There isn't really anything that you can do to help."

"But you're bleeding," he argued, pointing at a particularly deep gash on her arm. He picked up an opened medkit and tried to grasp the injured limb. "At least let me-" Xana just shrugged him off.

"Leave it," she mumbled, shoving him away.

"Are you sure?" Talon was puzzled. Just a few days ago, she hadn't been afraid to let him see her cry. Now, she wouldn't even admit to being scared by a nightmare and subsequent mauling.

"Yeah." _No. _

Talon fell silent; he was either at a loss for words or too sleepy for a conversation.

Deciding that she definitely wouldn't be sleeping anymore, she wadded up her blanket and gave it to Talon. "Here. You need this more than I do." She regarded him blankly, feeling no disappointment as he simply hummed his thanks and snuggled back into his sleeping area.

Xana considered it fortunate that she'd never been the clingy type. Frankly, no girl in her right mind enjoyed being left cold, frightened, and ignored. Xana, however, was used to having nobody there to help; nobody ever stuck around that long.

Xana let out a reflective sigh, envying the look of peace that passed over her friend's face. Inside, her inner child warred with her tough, coldly logical psyche. She had _wanted_ to say something along the lines of, "I've been acting cocky and cynical the whole day because I'm scared out of my fragging mind. Now, the façade's breaking down and I just need _help_."

The only problem was that she couldn't.

* * *

"You know, I'm still really ticked off at you for sending me out into an ocean full of crazed sharks," Xana grumbled, trying to maneuver into the environment suit. "Although," she added as an afterthought, "I've always had a love-hate relationship with sharks. I mean, they're fragging awesome and everything, but not when I'm walking mere feet from their jaws."

Talon wisely chose to keep his mouth shut, letting Bastila and Juhani deal with Xana's rant while he worked at the airlock's computer terminal. He tapped a microphone built into the terminal, "You should have radio communication in your helmet now. Try it."

Xana jammed the helmet on her head and waved her hands around in mock terror, "Oh lookie, I'm about to get eaten! Yay me!"

"Well, it works," Talon declared with a wry smile. Xana fixed him with a death glare and he added, "Look, you're going to be fine. You've got that sonic emitter in there, and even without it, I'm sure you could scare the sharks away on your own." Xana made sure to smack him upside the head before climbing into the airlock.

"Good to go," she radioed in, closing the door behind her. She tried not to scream as dark seawater began flooding the room. The outer airlock doors opened and Xana took a sluggish step into the ocean depths. She looked around in a panic, seeing nothing but blackness around her.

"_Regulate your breathing_," Talon's gentle admonition came over the comm. Xana worked to slow her breaths and calm her pounding heart. "_Okay, good. Your air should last longer now. How're you doing?_"

"I can't see anything and the lifesigns detector is picking up about a dozen firaxan sharks in the vicinity. But on the bright side, the water's so very nice and floaty. So, all in all, it doesn't _completely_ suck," Xana rambled on as she made her way to the entrance, trying to mask her growing fear with sarcasm. She almost missed the flash of yellow at the end of the hall. "Hang on, I think I see another person."

"_Be careful_," Talon replied.

Xana slowly made her way over to the figure. It turned out to be another panicked survivor. Before he could start ranting a monologue, Xana held up a gloved hand to stop him. "Yeah, yeah, I know. You ran from the insane Selkath, ended up trapped here, and are contemplating a crazy escape before your air runs out."

"Ah…yeah, actually. I'm planning to go out on the ocean floor and look for a way into the docking bay from the outside."

"First of all, do you not _see_ the hungry sharks swarming out there? Second, you _work_ here, all right? You know as well as I do that there's no other way into the docking bay. However, I've got a sonic device that-"

"You're right; there's no escape! I can't take it anymore!" the survivor shouted suddenly. He started running for the ocean floor, ignoring Xana's protests, and was quickly snatched up by a firaxan shark.

Xana blinked. "Is it me, or am I just not very good at this whole 'dealing with crazed survivors' thing?"

"_Um, both?_"

"Shut up."

Xana stepped out onto the ocean floor, her shaking hand gripping the sonic emitter. She quickly looked up and surveyed her surroundings. Firaxan sharks were patrolling the waters above her, but none seemed to notice her annoyingly conspicuous environment suit. _Really_, she thought,_ did they have to make them yellow, much less the same shade of yellow as fishing lures? It's like a fragging 'eat me' sign!_

So caught up in her rant was Xana, that she completely missed the firaxan shark making a dive towards her. By sheer luck, she happened to glance to the left and was greeted by an open mouthful of sharp teeth.

"_HOLY SHIZZ!_" she screamed, jamming her thumb down on the emitter's trigger. Mere inches from her, the shark abruptly stopped and turned belly-up.

"_Xana? What happened?_"

"I nearly got eaten!" Xana exclaimed, heart pounding from fear.

"_Are you okay?"_

"Practically farting rainbows," she snarked, slowly making her way towards the other building.

As she finally reached the entrance and began to fumble with the airlock, she commented sarcastically, "Gee, I wonder what could possibly go wrong _now_."

* * *

"I had to ask," Xana muttered, banging the faceplate of her environment suit against the harvester console. After walking into a full-out ambush upon entering the other building, nearly being asphyxiated by panicked scientists, and almost becoming shark munchies two more times, Xana was just about ready to pull her hair out. The gigantic, kolto-mutated shark watching her was _not_ helping matters.

Xana growled as she emptied the harvester's fuel tanks once more. Randomly pressing buttons had yet to result in the epic overload she was seeking. "Okay," she sighed, "let's try this again."

The screen flashed an error message:

[ERROR: FUEL RESERVES DEPLETED]

"Oh, come on!" Xana screamed. "Augh, looks like we have to do this the old-fashioned way." She reached for the frag grenades she'd attached to the outside of her environment suit. Jamming them in between the fuel tanks, she pressed the activator buttons in rapid succession.

"FIRE IN THE HOLE!"

Xana flattened herself against the metal walkway, tensing as the shockwaves knocked her back a few feet. The energy from the blast traveled through the fuel lines and ignited a series of explosions within the harvester. Chunks of metal rained down onto the ocean floor.

Unexplainably, when Xana looked up again, the shark had moved from the center of the bridge. She muttered, "Dang, that thing moves fast." Xana pushed herself off the metal grating and proceeded toward the Star Map. She tried not to guesstimate how many seconds it would take for the massive fish to close the distance between them once again.

Still keeping an eye on the shark, Xana opened the Star Map. Its' blue light diffracted through the water, creating gorgeous beams and patterns that danced across the sea floor. Xana let out a deep breath and began to repeat the Star Map's coordinates over the suit's comlink.

"_Got it_," Talon replied. "_Alright, make your way back to the airlock and we'll see you in a bit. Good work."_

"Copy that," Xana said, taking her finger off the comlink button. She smiled, all but running toward the airlock. If there was one thing she knew for sure, it was that she was never, ever, _ever_ going scuba diving again.

* * *

**AN: Okay, so that was my take on the Hrakert Rift level...kinda went overboard with the whole "horror movie" theme, but that's what AU fics are for anyway. They're not out of the water yet, though. (No pun intended.) Next chapter; a survival situation and fluff overload a la Xana/Talon. .**

**Thanks to writtenrhythm for beta reading this chapter! You all go and read her story One More Time RIGHT NOW, I just finished beta-ing the latest chapter and it is a good one!**

**Till next time,**

**~RFC74**


	21. Trapped

Chapter 18, Part 2 - Trapped

Soundtrack:

Just wait...and rest - The Saltwater Room by Owl City

One last thing before I die - All Around Me by Flyleaf

Serenade - Let Go by Boys Like Girls **[Not really a background song per se, but it's a song Splicer sings to Xana. And yes, this is how his voice is really supposed to sound.]**

* * *

_"Copy that," Xana said, taking her finger off the comlink button. She smiled, all but running toward the airlock. If there was one thing she knew for sure, it was that she was never, ever, ever going scuba diving again. _

Talon sighed with relief. He pushed his headphones down to rest on his neck and leaned back in his chair. Xana was entering the labyrinth just outside the station. It was home free from there.

Meanwhile, Xana was carefully making her way through the pitch-blackness. Her only sense of direction came from following the floor grates, which were a slightly lighter shade of black than everything else. She took deep, measured breaths. Dark colors or rooms had always brought her a sense of comfort, but being completely trapped in it, with no way of knowing if she was headed toward the airlock or not…it made the darkness seem to close in around her threateningly.

Fighting to stay calm, Xana consulted her HUD and took a left turn. She smacked into a wall. "Stupid locator blip. Why'd they have to make it so fragging _big_?" she muttered.

A crash sounded from faraway; its' sound muffled by the water but distinctive nonetheless. Peculiar swishing sounds soon followed, almost as if something were swimming rapidly…

Xana levered herself off the wall and proceeded down the hall as quickly – or not – as her environment suit would allow. She brought a hand to her helmet, frantically yelling, "Talon, come in! I need you to check the long-range lifesigns detector. I think there's something down here."

No response.

"Talon?" she tried again. "Anybody?"

A red blip appeared on the side of her HUD. Yep, there was definitely something on the other side of the labyrinth. It was approaching fast, covering the distance three times faster than Xana.

She tried to radio in again, "Talon! There's definitely something here, and it's closing in on me. Hack into the control commands in your computer terminal and lock down all the doors on the far side." Again, nothing but static. Xana's breath hitched and she broke out in a nervous sweat. She tried to go faster, although the water mass slowed down her movements to a truly maddening point. It was like one of those nightmares where you were being chased by a monster and found yourself running in slow motion.

Xana could have cried when she reached the end of the hall and saw the airlock waiting just around the corner. She peered back down the hallway and saw a blurry, blackish-blue shape rapidly swimming towards her. Sheer terror gripped Xana and she tried her hardest to run down the final stretch of hallway. Unfortunately, the water pressure was so intense that it was like running through syrup. She mashed down the comm button one last time, babbling desperately, "Come on, _answer me_! Oh frag, it's almost here…Talon, anybody, _please_ just pick up!"

* * *

Talon lolled his head back, absentmindedly spinning his chair in circles. He peered down the bridge of his nose at Bastila and Juhani. "I wonder what's taking her so long?" he asked.

Suddenly, a piercing scream came from the headphones around his neck. He practically jumped out of his seat. Spinning back around to face the console, he jammed the headphones back on and commed, "Xana?"

The comlink crackled to life, transmitting mostly bubbling sounds and screams. The color drained from his face as he struggled to make out the words, "_corridor…Selkath…attacking…breach…oxygen-_"

"What is going on?" Bastila demanded.

"An insane Selkath must have found its' way out an airlock…it found Xana in the corridors and attacked," he said tersely.

An angry grunt came over the comlink, followed by the shrill order, "_Close…airlock now!_"

Talon protested, "But the lifesigns detector says you're still outside!"

"_Do it!"_

Outside, Xana was still grappling with her aquatic assailant. It clawed at her environment suit without abandon, threatening to sever her oxygen line and cause a breach. She struggled to get a hold on the Selkath, finally landing a punch just as the airlock started to close. While the alien was momentarily stunned, she ducked inside the entrance right before the gap had become too small to accommodate her suit. Xana sighed with relief, immensely grateful for slow-closing airlocks.

She didn't notice the webbed hand reaching in between the airlock doors. Before she knew it, her ankle was in its' grip and she found herself being dragged across the floor panels. She screamed, raking the bulky fingers of her environment suit across the floor in an attempt to slow herself down. Alas, it was too late for the Selkath to redeem its' prey, and the airlock doors jammed neatly around Xana's lower leg. The environment suit gave a sickening crunch, but didn't give.

After a few moments of frenzied tugging, the Selkath gave up and swam away with a snarl. Xana let her face slump onto the HUD, once again overcome with relief. That is, until she noticed the bubbles rising from the leg of her environment suit.

"_We have a problem here. The airlock's been jammed and it's not responding_," Talon's voice crackled in her ear.

"Yeah, I kinda gathered that from the foreign object lodged in there," Xana snapped.

"_What foreign object_?"

"My leg," she replied dryly.

"_How did you manage to-_"

Xana lost her temper and yelled, "You know, now's not the best time for explanations, seeing as how my suit's breached and all! I'm already soaked from the waist down, so if you don't reset the airlock sequence _right now_, I'll die and I swear I'm going to haunt you-"

"_Oh no_, _this is so not good,_" Talon muttered.

"What?"

"_Like I _said_, the airlock's not responding. Instead, it just keeps trying to finish the programming sequence, exerting more and more pressure to clear the obstruction. Xana, you need to eject out of your suit or your leg will be crushed._"

"Yes, ask the girl with a mortal fear of drowning to take off the environment suit in a broken airlock. Best plan ever!" Xana cringed, feeling the water start to flood the torso of her suit. "Oh shizz, the suit's filling up and it's _cold_! Frag, frag, frag…I'm going to die, I'm so totally going to die."

Talon tried to speak as soothingly as possible, though he couldn't hide the undertone of panic in his own voice, "_Xana. Listen to me. I'm going to try and get the airlock to close anyway, but I can't do that if your leg is still in the suit. I know you're scared, but you have to trust that I'll get you out of this. Okay?_"

"I meant what I said about haunting you, just so you know," she murmured back. "All right, it looks like we don't have any other option. I'm trusting you with this."

"_Good. Just take a deep breath and hold on._" Xana had to angle her face to get a gulp of air in the waterlogged helmet. Then, she shut her eyes and hit the release button.

The helmet popped off, thrusting Xana into a world of cold, dark water. She wriggled out of the suit, fighting the urge to scream at how frigid the water was. For a few moments, she just free-floated there, shock and numbness freezing her body to the point where she couldn't even think straight. It was as if everything momentarily ceased to exist, and there was only her and the water.

Xana's lungs started to hurt, bringing her back to conscious thought. _Action. I need to take action._ She propelled herself to the nearest wall and felt for the groove of the inner airlock. Xana began to pound impatiently. _Hurry it up in there, guys..._

Fingers splayed against icy durasteel. Her hands skimmed the door as she kicked her way to the top of the airlock. She brought her face to the ceiling, desperately searching for oxygen.

* * *

Talon gripped the console in defeat. There was only one way out of this now.

"Bastila, you and Juhani have got to step out of this room and close that airlock with the Force! It'll send this room into emergency lockdown, but you'll be able to get back to the Republic base and send a rescue team down here with an override code!"

Bastila's mind was racing. She was picking up so much fear from Xana, she didn't even note the insubordination Talon had just shown her. All she could think of was her bond-sister's frantic pounding on the durasteel. She spluttered, "B-but..."

"We don't have time for this!" Talon roared. "You two can fight through the base the fastest! Now, _do it!_"

The two Jedi backed up out of the room without a moment's hesitation. They held out their hands, and the airlock immediately started to creak. It inched shut ever so slowly, until it finally sealed around the obstructing weapon with a resounding _thud_. Talon's heart nearly stopped when he realized that Xana had ceased pounding.

* * *

_Too much. It's too much, _Xana though in misery. She was too exhausted to thrash in the water anymore. She simply gave up and let herself drift down to the floor grate. Her chest throbbed, aching for oxygen. Apathetically, she glanced over to the outer airlock. It looked like it was starting to move.

_It's too late now_.

It was strange; even though an overwhelming sense of finality was bearing down on her, Xana didn't think of any of the things people usually contemplated in their dying moments. No regrets, no memories, no unfulfilled dreams. Her mind wasn't racing to savor her last few moments of consciousness. She just couldn't bring herself to think.

Xana's chest started to hurt even worse, if such a thing was possible. She couldn't take it anymore.

With the last bit of willpower she could summon, she forced herself to drop into a Jedi healing trance. In moments, her body started to drift to sleep. The last thing her blackening vision registered was her last breath of air, rising up to the ceiling as a large bubble.

Xana grimaced and closed her eyes. _I trusted you._

* * *

Talon maintained his white-knuckle grip on the console. He whispered a countdown, "Three…two…_one._"

Pandemonium erupted all around him as the room went into lockdown. The door sealed shut, alarms blared, and the room's life-support systems shut off. The lights flickered out for a moment before being replaced with red emergency lighting. Finally, the inner airlock door deactivated and popped open, draining its' contents into the room.

Talon ran and took cover behind one of the lockers, but couldn't stop the deluge from rushing in up to his knees. Most of it ran into the floor grates, but the storm drains filled up and Talon still found himself slogging through ankle-deep water. He didn't care, though.

Talon ran to the airlock, soaking himself to the waist from the amount of water he splashed up. He kneeled next to Xana, desperately trying to elicit a response from his unconscious friend. She lay sprawled out on the floor, looking like a half-drowned bantha. Her dark hair swirled around in the water, framing a deathly pale face that wasn't responding to the life-giving air around her.

Talon shook her by the shoulders, then lightly slapped her cheeks. Nothing happened. "Oh kriff," he cursed. "Don't be dead, _please, please, please_, don't be dead."

He tried chest compressions, hoping to clear the water out of her lungs. "C'mon, stay with me, you've got to breathe!" he said, trying even harder to resuscitate her. She remained still.

Talon sighed in frustration; there was only one option left now. "Dang it, Xana! You're just as stubborn unconscious as you are awake," he muttered, propping her jaw open. "_Please_ don't kill me for this when you wake up." He took a deep, shaky breath, trying to focus on saving her life.

His concentration waned as he hovered just a few inches above her. Talon mentally reprimanded himself, _Just do it, man! She's dying!_ He steeled himself and closed in, praying that it wasn't too late for Xana.

Suddenly, her eyelids flickered open. She flinched upon finding a pair of soft blue eyes completely dominating her line of sight. For a single heart-stopping moment, their eyes locked. They both froze, not knowing what to do amidst the sheer awkwardness of the situation.

Xana ultimately ended the moment. She convulsed and shot into a sitting position, leaving Talon on the receiving end of an involuntary headbutt. Reeling from the impact, she hunched over and started coughing up seawater.

Talon was overcome with both relief and head pain as he slouched next to her, cradling his forehead in his hands. Stars danced before his eyes. Once he was able to think straight, Talon quickly unhooked his canteen from his belt and held it out to Xana. She grabbed it and drank greedily, clearing the sticky brine from her mouth and throat.

When she was done, she simply closed the canteen and brought her hand to her forehead, swaying slightly from dizziness. Talon patted her back gently as she began to make slight heaving noises. He didn't know if she was sobbing hoarsely or if her gag reflex was acting up again, but he stayed there until she was breathing normally again.

"I'm alive…oh frag, I can't believe I'm alive," Xana whispered, shutting her eyes tight. "That was horrible." Tears ran down her cheeks and mixed with salt water.

"Don't worry, it's all over now," he replied. "You're okay."

"I know. It's just-" Xana shook her head, her throat too tight and painful to form words.

"Shh. You'll be okay," Talon said again, trying to reassure her but not entirely sure how.

She opened her eyes and rasped incredulously, "By the way…did you just try to kiss me?"

Talon jumped away in shock, protesting, "No! Oh, _gosh,_ no! I just thought you needed CPR and all, since you were unconscious and I thought you were going to die and-"

Xana cut him off with a laugh and a small smile, much to his relief. "I'm kidding, snipertard. But I do appreciate the chivalry and valiant attempt at CPR," she quipped.

"Anytime. Now c'mon, let's get you a blanket. This water's freezing and you're probably hypothermic already."

He helped her up and, together, they sloshed their way out of the airlock.

* * *

The room was eerily quiet, silence descending on the red-tinged interior like a fog. The sounds of dripping water and the occasional screech of a lone Selkath were the only things that broke the heavy monotony.

Talon had long since given up watching the firaxan sharks lazily patrol the outside of the base. From his perch on the edge of a bunk, he glanced over at the barely-operational computer terminal. The display flickered and fizzed. There would be no overriding the emergency lockdown from inside.

He glared angrily at the sealed durasteel door. That door was the portal between life and death for them. They, the last hope of conquering the Sith and saving the galaxy. And yet that door was too cruel to open, not even to a lightsaber. Talon knew this from when Xana had tried to slice open another sealed door earlier. Well, he could more aptly describe it as 'randomly stabbing it with a lightsaber', but still. The fact remained that all the doors in this facility were impervious to all forces, save for an override code.

He could only hope that Bastila and Juhani had made it out of the base in time. If they had gotten trapped too...

Xana fidgeted beside him, clutching a plethora of blankets to her thin frame. Her wet hair was plastered to her head, and her lips were pursed together in an attempt to keep her teeth from chattering. Several angry red cuts adorned her forehead and cheek. She rocked back and forth, apparently deep in thought.

"Why'd you do it?" she asked all of a sudden. Her voice, though quiet, cut through the heavy stillness like a vibroblade.

"What?"

"Don't play dumb. I mean this; putting the room into lockdown and trapping us here. You should have gotten out while you could."

Talon's eyebrows shot up in disbelief. "You would've died!"

"Better me than both of us," she muttered. "Now I'm doomed all over again, and you're going down with me."

"Don't think like that. Look, there are people who know where we are, and they're coming to get us."

Xana scoffed, "Yeah? It'll take over an hour for both submarine trips, not to mention the time it'll take to fight through the station again and rally up a search team. How much air do we even have down here anyway?"

Talon glanced at the tiny room, silently guesstimating. "I'd say three to five hours," he replied at length.

"My point exactly," Xana replied. "And that's assuming they think we're worth coming back for. The whole Star Forge thing is classified, so the Republic embassy doesn't even have a reason to try and rescue us."

Talon looked at her blankly, "Has anyone ever told you that you're a pessimist?"

"I prefer the term 'realist'," she shrugged. "Still, I'd prefer _not_ to spend the next few hours sulking. If they are my last, I'd rather spend them being happy. And if they aren't, well, at least I won't have acted like a melodramatic idiot."

"Well, what do you have in mind?"

She shrugged, "Twenty questions?"

Talon smiled. Only Xana would think to play twenty questions at a time like this. "Okay. So, I can ask you anything?"

"Anything in the whole wide galaxy," she grinned.

He pondered for a moment, tapping a finger against his chin. "I never found out what your middle name is."

"Mylodie. Like the word for 'song', but spelled differently."

"It suits you. Okay…your turn."

"Did you ever want to do anything other than be a soldier?"

Talon sighed, "Yeah. I wanted to go to a technical school and engineer starships. But, y'know, I'm happy enough in the military."

Xana smiled, "You would've been good at it, I bet."

"Thanks."

The rapid-fire questions went on for a while, back and forth. They smiled and laughed, all but forgetting the bleakness surrounding them. Eventually, though, the lack of life support began to make itself apparent as the temperature dropped. Xana began to shiver harder and curled up into a little ball to preserve body heat. She responded in monosyllabic answers; her jaw tightened and her back began to hurt from the constant shivering. Talon noticed this and began to shrug off his jacket.

"No, keep it," Xana stopped him. "I'm just a little cold, and I've already got all the blankets."

"Don't give me that. It's freezing in here; I can practically see you shaking." He held out his jacket, but Xana shrunk away defiantly.

"You're cold and wet too! I'm not taking it," she argued.

Talon sighed and put his jacket back on. "Okay, fine then. C'mere," he said, holding an arm out to her.

Xana blanched. "Um...wouldn't that be a bit awkward?" Still, she scooted to the side tentatively.

"Nope, standard military survival training. If your unit's suffering from hypothermia, you gotta huddle together for warmth," he replied, wrapping his arm securely around her. "If you wanna talk about awkward, though, just ask me about our first harsh-climate training session. Nothing but man-hugs for two straight days."

Xana snorted, hiding a grin behind her hand. "Well, I'll assume this isn't as bad, then?"

"Nope, I'd say it's a definite improvement," he grinned back at her. She shoved him in a teasing manner.

"Whatever," she drawled, settling in so that she was comfortable, "Now, I do believe it was my turn to ask you something. I want to know; can you sing?"

"I can, although I'm not sure if you'd want to hear it."

"Just sing already," she smirked.

Talon suddenly broke into song, softly crooning a beautiful melody. The notes wafted through the air with a soothing, steady rhythm. He slowly swayed with the tempo, bringing her with him. Xana's eyes drifted shut on their own accord. It seemed as if everything, even the thinning air and bitter cold, was slowly giving way to soft notes and that gentle rocking. She barely noticed when her head fell upon his shoulder. It felt warm and bulky and strange on her cheek, but she smiled nonetheless.

One or two seconds passed before she finally came to her senses. Her eyes shot open and she sat up rigidly, noticing for the first time that Talon had stopped singing. Xana turned red with embarrassment. She must have looked a sight, with her ruddy, makeup-less face, wavy hair curling in all directions, and a ratty old blanket rumpled around scarred shoulders. Still, he looked at her with no derision or surprise in his eyes; but rather an idle curiosity and gentleness that dissipated the awkward silence between them.

"What song was that?" she asked softly. "It's beautiful."

"Some old Telosian lullaby my mother used to sing to me. I forget the rest of the words, but I remember that I sang it to my sister whenever she had a nightmare, to get her to fall asleep again," Talon recalled with a fond smile.

"Well, it still works," Xana quipped, yawning widely. She couldn't help but notice that she had to struggle to get enough air for a yawn. Quickly, she pushed the thought aside and mustered up a sleepy smile. "Now, I do believe it's your turn to ask me something."

"I got nothing," he admitted after a lengthy pause.

"Come on, you get the chance to ask me anything in the galaxy, and you have _nothing_? There's _nothing_ you've absolutely wanted to know about me? Ever?" she asked incredulously.

"Nothing," he repeated. "Your mysterious nature just comes pre-packaged with the awesomeness, I suppose."

Xana laughed, though it came out as more of a snort. She looked at him hesitantly, a silent question written all over her face.

"What is it?" Talon asked.

"This is how it's going to end, isn't it?" she asked quietly. "Playing twenty questions at the bottom of the sea floor, on some Outer Rim planet. Forget hopes and dreams, it's all over…just like that. I was thinking about it, and it just seems unfair is all."

"Don't talk like that. We can make it out of here; you still have a long, long time to find your happily ever after." He tightened his hold around her shoulders, as if that gesture alone would convince her of what he himself was struggling to believe.

"Talon," she admonished him quietly, "It's getting harder to breathe, and it's cold enough that we can see what little breaths we _can_ take. Who do I think I'm fooling, playing stupid games like everything's all right? It's just a matter of waiting now, where all we can do is talk until the end comes and catches us unaware."

Even Talon sounded unsure when he replied, "That's not true, there's still a chance that-"

Her voice took on a sharp tone. "Don't you get it? Nobody's coming. Either we run out of air, freeze to death, or the airlock finally gives way and the cold, dark water rushes in. If anyone _does_ find us, all they'll see are two figures on the bottom of the ocean floor, clutched together in one final act of comfort. Nobody will know what happened to us. We'll be forgotten, time will go on, and-"

"_Stop_!" he snapped. Xana fell quiet, looking up at him with a pained expression. He hadn't realized how difficult it had been for her to admit what she'd just said. He was surprised by how tiny and frightened she seemed at that moment. Her glinting, dangerous eyes were now small and scared. Her pale skin was blotchy and covered with injuries. Her thin hands, from which deadly lightning had once sprung forth, were shaking with cold. Despite the bravado she usually put on, underneath the weapons, armor, and makeup, she was still just a seventeen year old girl.

"Just…just stop," he repeated, in a much gentler, but defeated, tone. "Saying all that stuff isn't going to help anything. Whatever happens, we'll be all right. Okay?"

She nodded, understanding the meaning of what he'd just said. _In other words, there are worse ways to go out._

They fell into silence. Any more chance of light, happy conversation seemed foreign and ridiculous now.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, leaning back onto his shoulder and hugging him.

"S'okay. Let's just…rest, and try not to talk too much," he whispered back. "Saves more air that way."

Xana just closed her eyes and nodded against his shoulder.

No more words passed between them for some time. They just sat there quietly, finding comfort in each other's company and listening to the sound of their breathing. There was a calm, final, almost reverent atmosphere in that dilapidated room, one that neither person dared to taint with noise. Sometimes, a shark would swim by the transparisteel window, moving on quickly as if even _it_ was saddened by the end of their short, stunted lives.

At some point, their hands had found each other and were now entwined in the space between them. They shared this one, silent link, through which they resolved to face whatever came together.

Breathing became more and more difficult as time wore on. Talon was relieved when Xana fell asleep on his shoulder; she deserved some rest, and at least she would nap through the onset of oxygen deprivation. He stayed still, careful not to wake her.

When she finally did awaken, it was much sooner than he'd hoped. She let out a tired groan and sat upright. "Augh…how long was I out for?"

"I don't know, an hour or two?"

Xana groaned again and placed a hand on her forehead. "You okay?" Talon asked.

"My head hurts, and I feel sick," she replied. Her world began to spin and she quickly snuggled back down again.

"That's normal; the same thing's happening to me too. It's the lack of oxygen starting to set in."

"This sucks," she complained, wrapping an arm around her stomach and wincing miserably.

"It's okay; just hold on a little longer. Whatever happens, it won't be long now." She nodded apathetically, too nauseous to try and speak again. Her breathing quickened as her lungs struggled to filter enough oxygen from the ever-thinning air.

He felt a pang of sorrow for the girl next to him. His whole life had been lived from the inside of military compounds and starships. He was nothing special; he only tried to climb the ranks and get through year after routine year. Xana, on the other hand, was vibrant and unique; always on the move in search of her next adventure. She truly wanted to _live life_, more than anything in the world. Now even that was taken from her, like a light being snuffed out, with only he as the lone witness. And there was nothing he could do but wait and offer comfort.

For a single moment, he felt compelled to do something, _anything_, to live life as she'd wanted to. Take a risk, for the sake of living life to the fullest. Show that, as one final testament to the girl he'd considered his best friend, he had benefited from her short existence.

Xana shifted next to him. "Hey, how's your head?" she asked softly.

"Still pounding," he sighed. She reached up and weakly placed a hand on his forehead. Immediately, the pain began to ebb away. Xana inhaled sharply and drew away; the effort of the Force heal had worsened her own headache to the point where she couldn't concentrate anymore.

Talon sighed in relief, "Thank you. How about you, are you okay?"

"Ugh…my lungs hurt and my head feels like it's about to explode."

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay. It's not your fault, and there's nothing we can do about it." Xana let out a huff of air, trying to clear away a few strands of wavy hair that was falling in her face. Her heart nearly stopped when he reached across and brushed them away for her.

"Talon?" she asked hesitantly. "What are you doing?"

He didn't answer. Rather, he simply bent down and placed a soft kiss on her forehead. He lingered for a moment before pulling away slowly, looking into her pain-dulled eyes. It seemed only fitting that, if he were to do something bold for once in his life, it should be regifted as kindness and comfort for her sake.

"Just one last thing I had to do before I die." He tensed, dreading a tirade or a punch in the face. Much to his relief, she simply sighed and closed her eyes. He wanted their last minutes to be pleasant; and so long as she was happy, he would be happy too.

Her breathing suddenly became lighter, much to Talon's dismay.

Talon shook her lightly, "Hey, don't go back to sleep just yet, okay? Stay with me just a little longer. Don't close your eyes." He failed to keep the panic out of his voice. He knew that if she fell asleep, she might not wake up again, and he was nowhere near ready to lose her. Even so, his own vision was already starting to go black at the edges.

"I can't stay awake anymore," she murmured. Her voice was so heartrendingly quiet…

Talon felt tears gathering in the corners of his eyes. He was about to whisper that it was okay…when footsteps sounded from the outside corridor.

"They're in there!" a man shouted. "Quick, someone get working on the wires and override the lockdown!" The sound of a soldering iron and sparking wires had never sounded so beautiful.

Talon was frantic now. "Xana, they're here! They're getting through the door! Come on, just stay with me!" He shook her again, fighting to cling to consciousness himself. It was no use. She'd gone completely limp. "Please, just hold on! You have to live…you have to-"

Talon's world abruptly lilted. His eyes rolled back and he fell backwards onto the bunk. He sensed Xana's own unconscious form slumping over as well, though it seemed as if it was some distance away. Even farther away was a strange swooshing sound…almost like a door opening. Blearily, he struggled to open his eyes.

His swimming, blurred vision only registered a shaft of white light and a number of running figures.

Then all went black.

* * *

When Xana regained consciousness, the first thing she noticed was that she was warm and laying on something very soft. The next thing she noticed was the _light_. Even through her shut eyelids, a blinding white light stung her sensitive pupils. She turned her head back and forth in an attempt to escape it. No success; the light seemed to be everywhere.

Xana was confused, to say the least. Her hand ghosted across rough fabric, reaching out blindly for anything familiar. How did she get here? Where was her lightsaber, her armor? What happened to Talon?

A warm, rough hand suddenly enveloped her own. Her lips curved into a smile; even with her eyes closed, she instinctively knew who it was.

"Hey snipertard, can you turn down the lights?" she murmured sleepily.

"Yeah," came the reply from next to her. She was aware of his hand leaving hers, then the world around her dimmed to a soothing shade of gray. Xana opened her eyes, slowly at first, then fully taking in her surroundings.

She was in a rather well-equipped, private sickbay room, propped up on a plethora of fluffy pillows. Oxygen tanks, bacta patches, and IVs sat against the wall, unused now that she had recovered. Her eyes flicked up to the chair at her bedside. Talon settled back in, smiling down at her softly, and took her hand again.

"Hey," she whispered.

"Hi," he whispered back.

Xana blurted out the first thing on her mind. "How long have you been here?"

"I was released about an hour ago," he explained. "They were still treating all your injuries, so I stuck around. Thought maybe you'd like to see a familiar face when you woke up."

"Thanks. So," she drawled awkwardly, "How are you doing?"

"Fine, now that we're out of that pit they call a mining station," he replied, looking down at the floor with frustration etched all over his face.

"Hey," she admonished him, tightening her grip on his hand. "We're both okay now, and that's what's important."

"I know." He fell silent and eased her into a hug, feeling overcome with gratefulness that she was alive. She wrapped her arms around him in return, smiling ear-to-ear. She'd survived, and he had too – that was all she could really ask for.

"But just so you know, at no point will I tolerate the words 'I told you so'," she intoned.

"No problem." She narrowed her eyes at him, suspicious of his too-innocent tone, but decided to let it go. Talon turned aside and coughed, "Told you so." He looked at her and smiled boyishly.

Xana rolled her eyes as she released him and settled back onto her pillows. "Whatever. Do you know how much longer till I'm released?"

He sat back down and picked up a datapad resting above her headboard. "Just one more day. You have a few nasty vibroblade slashes and a cracked rib that needs to finish healing. They also need to run a few more neural scans to make sure the repeated near-suffocation didn't damage your brain."

"Any chance that the crew will stop by?" Xana asked hopefully, not relishing the idea of being stuck in a sickbay alone for twenty-four hours.

Talon shook his head, "They already came to see both of us, but you were still asleep. Mission was pretty put-out, to say the least, and made them stay here for a couple of hours just in case you woke." Xana looked at the ceiling and smiled.

"Well, this sucks. And here I was looking forward to getting off this rock." Xana shifted onto her side and propped herself up on one forearm, so she could look him in the eye. A curious expression made its' way onto her face. "Y'know, if I'm gonna be here a while…and since _you're_ here too…I think there's something we need to discuss."

Talon leaned on the railing of her infirmary bed, resting his chin atop his forearms. "Yeah?" he replied, knowing full well what she meant.

Seeing that she was dead-set serious about discussing this, he tried to start over. "Okay, look, I'm not exactly sure how to explain this."

"Try," she insisted. "Try and explain to me what happened down there. In simple, tiny words, if you have to." Xana found herself slightly sidetracked by his azure eyes, heart fluttering from the blatant honesty with which he regarded her. She shook it off and sighed in impatience. _Never forget rule one, chica. Mind over stupid girly emotions. _

Talon froze; how exactly could he admit that he admired her and cared about her, so as to prevent her from punching him the moment he said it? He floundered, "Ummm…"

_Oh frag, I just need to walk away before this gets any more awkward. Walk away, right now._

Xana took a deep breath and said, as calmly as possible, "You know what, just forget it. We were both oxygen-deprived and thinking we were going to die. What happens on the Rift, stays on the Rift, right?"

"Thunder, just please hear me out here," he started, trying to reach for her hand. She just glared and shifted her arms out of his reach.

"And," she continued, "It better not fragging happen again."

He finally stayed silent. Xana felt a pang of guilt over the look of abject sadness that clouded his face, but quickly smothered it.

Moments later, a knock sounded at the door. It slid open and Splicer walked in, carrying a black acoustic guitar. Talon couldn't suppress the irritated growl that rose to his throat.

Xana blinked in surprise, "Splice? How'd you even know to find me here?"

"I ran into your little blue friend at the cantina. She recognized me and we played a few rounds of pazaak, during which she mentioned that you two were in the sickbay. Speaking of which, are you okay?"

Xana smiled broadly, forgetting her anger altogether, "I'm alright. Got a little banged up during the last mission, but I'll survive."

"You up to having a little company?" he asked. Xana nodded in response, and he took a seat at the foot of her infirmary bed.

"What'd you bring _that_ for?" Talon asked brusquely, pointing at his guitar.

"Well, I'd just finished playing at the cantina when I found out," he explained. "So, I figured I might as well come straight here and play my lovely friend a song. There's this one I always used to sing when she was in the medbay…"

Xana sat up and grinned, remembering the song he was referring to, "For real? What are you waiting for, strum already!"

"You got it." Splicer hefted the guitar under his arm and began to play. A string of beautiful notes tumbled forth, unmistakably lighting up Xana's eyes the moment they reached her ears. He took a deep breath and sang the lyrics; simple words that spoke of pain but conveyed comfort.

Even Talon was surprised by the softness and range of his voice. Despite his rough appearance and ruthlessness in combat, Splicer sang like an angel. There was no other way to describe it.

It wasn't fair; he was the one to hold her hand and wish away the pain while she thought she was dying. Now, _Splicer_ of all people got to say what was on _his_ heart, stealing the peaceful smile and enraptured gaze that should have belonged to _him_.

"I should go," he murmured once the song ended. He heard Xana call his name, but ignored it and stormed toward the door. The hospital's winding corridors were easy to navigate, and he soon found himself walking out into Ahto City's streets.

Everything began to bustle around him as the city's nightlife picked up pace. Talon just ignored it and made his way toward the docking bay. He kept to the edges of the walkway, always getting caught by the occasional gust of nighttime sea air. Still, his desire to be alone overpowered his complaining, shivering frame. He drew his jacket closer around him and shuffled down the walkway.

He'd never felt so cold without her by his side.

* * *

**A/N: Thanks to writtenrhythm for beta reading this chapter, and helping me give the scenes a good overhaul so they're more realistic.**

**Sorry it took forever for the update...I had to rewrite this about 5 times to get the survival scene just right. The next one's not too far off, though. It's finished already, and let me tell ya, you're not going to expect what happens next. ;)**

**So, what thinkest thou? Is Xana being practical or a killjoy? Will the survival situation bring her and Talon together, or split them apart? Why is Splicer even in this chapter? Will they ever get the frag off Manaan? (Yes, next chapter :P)Reviews are much appreciated! :D**


	22. Bittersweet goodbyes

**Soundtrack:**

Flashback #1 – Call Me When You're Sober by Evanescence

Flashback #2 – Remember When by Avril Lavigne

Aftermath – Complicated by Avril Lavigne

* * *

In the Ebon Hawk's cockpit, Talon looked up from the datapad he had been reading. He heard the boarding ramp hiss open, which could only mean one thing: Xana was back. Everyone else had gone off in search of supplies, credits, or a few final hours of rest and relaxation. He'd opted to stay behind, on the off chance that he'd get to talk with Xana for a bit.

He took a deep breath and mentally went over the speech he'd thrown together. Things hadn't gone too well the last time they'd seen each other; now, he was ready to make amends and come clean about his feelings.

He stood to go greet her, but his intuition immediately told him something was wrong. There were no voices echoing throughout the ship, which was strange, considering she'd commed and told him Splicer was going to walk her back.

He took his feet down from where they'd been resting on the dashboard. Being careful to mask his footfalls, he crept down the hall and hid behind the doorjamb. All he saw was a lone figure disappearing down the corridor.

Talon furrowed his brow in confusion and followed the footfalls to the cargo hold. He found Xana pacing back and forth, apparently deep in thought.

"Thunder?" he asked.

She looked up in surprise, then narrowed her eyes when she saw it was him. "Yeah?"

"Where's Splicer?"

"He…ah…we had a little disagreement on the way," she said evasively, glaring at the floor panels. "I don't think we'll be hearing from him for awhile."

"Okay," he replied, trying to mask the relief in his tone. "Are you-"

"Hey, where's everyone else?" she asked abruptly. "I wanna get this rust bucket in the air already."

"Last minute re-supplying. They won't be back for an hour."

"Oh," Xana sounded crestfallen. "All right then, I'll just hang out here." She sat down on a stack of storage canisters and curled up, angling herself away from him. She picked up a remote from a dusty corner and pressed a button, activating the small music player she kept in the cargo hold. Hopefully, he would get the message that she wanted to be alone. But such things are – by nature – imperceptible to teenage boys. Rather than bow out gracefully, he crossed the room and sat down next to her.

"Look," he began awkwardly, "I know things have been a little weird since...you know...but if something happened with Splicer, then-"

Xana replied brusquely, "He wanted me to leave the Ebon Hawk and rejoin his crew. I said no."

"He _what?_" Talon burst out, angrily narrowing his eyes.

Xana glared at him exasperatedly. For a moment, he feared that he'd overstepped the bounds of their fragile camaraderie. He was relieved when she simply sighed and spoke again. "If you really have to know…"

* * *

"_What do you __mean__, you won't come back?" Splicer's voice rang through the empty corridor._

"_I _mean_, my duty to the Republic is more important than gallivanting across the galaxy with old friends," she said firmly, being more mindful of the passerby walking past their little niche. _

"_Oh, please! You really think the Republic gives a shizz about what happens to you? Does the name __Endar Spire__ ring any bells?"_

"_Does the phrase 'Sith blockade' answer your question?"_

"_Ugh. You'd think you would've learned your lesson by now, Xana! You keep putting yourself in danger because you can't ever admit you need anyone's help! Meanwhile, me and the rest of your crew are poor, starving, and on the run because of you!"_

"_Because of me?" Xana whirled around and glared at Splicer._

"_Yeah. You remember those little infiltration missions, the ones we took to buy food, fuel, and other things that obviously don't matter to you? We can hardly ever complete any these days cause I need two pairs of hands to slice the computers fast enough. I had to look into making shipments for Vogga the Hutt just to get by!"_

* * *

Xana's eyes drifted up to regard Talon. She pursed her lips and crossed her arms, looking rather cold and unfeeling for someone who'd just lost their best friend. "It might seem a little strange that I'd leave his crew to work for the Republic. Truth is, he had problems. A lot of problems."

* * *

"_Splice! I told you to stay away from making deals with criminals! What next, are you going to tell me you've been shipping spice again?" Xana yelled, not mindful of curious ears._

"_And what if I am?" Splicer shot back. "It turns a good profit, and I even get a cut of the merchandise. Pretty easy way to make a living."_

"_Until you lose a shipment and you've suddenly racked up a massive debt with a Hutt. Which, I presume, is why you deactivated our comlink channel?" Xana snapped. "Yeah, real smart."_

"_It's not like you care anyway! If you really did care, you wouldn't have abandoned us in the first place! I mean, why would you do this to me? I would've made sure you had everything you wanted. Anything to make you feel happy or at home. That's all I ever tried to do when you were with me! Frag it, Xana, __I _loved_ you!__"_

* * *

Xana hadn't mentioned _that_ little detail. Talon's eyes widened in shock, even as his heart felt like it was dropping through the floor.

"Of course," Xana said, purposely ignoring his shocked stare, "I didn't believe him, and I have my reasons why."

* * *

_Xana clenched her fists and stomped closer to the red-headed smuggler. "Splicer, you're gambling with not only your life, but your sister's and your friend's as well. Excuse me if I didn't want to stick around and be another addition to that list." _

"_I'm still the same guy you knew! The only thing different about me is the mistakes I've made! But if I only had you back, I swear all of that would disappear!"_

"_Look, Splice, if you want to mess up your own life hanging around in cantinas all day, using spice, and running from a debt you'll never repay - that's your decision. But I won't let you blame me for your mistakes, and I'm not gonna try to help if you won't listen!"_

"_Maybe I don't need any help! Not if your idea of help is screaming the same kriffing bantha-shizz at me every time I do something you don't like!"_

"_Augh! I can't believe I even bothered with this!" Xana raved, completely losing her temper now. "You stuck-up, ignorant little schutta-"_

_Splicer's hand suddenly went sailing through the air. It halted a few inches from Xana's face. _

_She flinched in surprise, but otherwise kept her ground. Her gaze was locked on him, intense with barely-repressed fury. Splicer, on the other hand, was staring at his hand as if it had come to life and swung at her of its own accord. He dropped his arm and backed away slowly, horror written all over his face._

_Burying his face in his hands, he mumbled, "No…no, no, no. Xana, I'm so sorry…I didn't mean to…you know it's the spice. Please, you have to believe me-" He took a step forward, arm outreached, but she dodged away from him._

_Xana shook her head, "If that isn't the most clichéd, unbelievable crap I've ever heard. Splice…I can't help you if you don't want to help yourself." She pointed to the hallway and snapped, "You know what? I'm done with this; if you ever touch me, come near me, or even talk to me before you're sober again, I'll punch your lights out. Now get the frag out of here."_

"_Xana, please, just hear me out-"_

"_You've got till the count of five before I break out the lightsabers."_

_Splicer raised his hands in submission and spared Xana one last sorrowful look. "All right, all right, I'll go. Xana…I just want you to know that I really do care." Tears pooled in his eyes as he continued, "The spice is…it's like a sickness. It's messing me up and I can't quit. Please just tell me one day you'll come back and things can be like they used to be."_

_Xana's eyes flitted down to the floor and she murmured, "Well now, that all depends on who – or what – you care about most. And I think that's pretty obvious by now. Goodbye, Splice."_

* * *

"Sometimes, you just gotta stand up and say enough is enough. There's only so many empty words you can take...and I've met enough guys like that to know better." Xana looked away awkwardly, eyes dim and unfocused as if she had retreated into the furthest corners of her mind.

* * *

_Splicer's hand came sailing through the air and smacked into Xana's cheek. The sharp __crack__ reverberated throughout the room. Pain exploded throughout her jaw and nose, and her eyes flew shut. _

_Xana's hand flew to her face, trying to wipe away the stars sparkling behind her eyelids. She collapsed to her knees, utterly lost in a world of swimming darkness and pain. Her mind was whirling as she leaned against the blissful coldness of the navicomputer. The soft whir of the smuggling vessel's engines seemed to mock her, its' infinitesimal, steady quietude a blaring contrast to the turmoil inside her._

_Images from movies and books resurfaced; ones of wives, children, and friends haunted by the effects of substance abuse on their loved ones. Fury bubbled within Xana. He'd just crossed the line. She would not be added to those ranks. She would not give in!_

_Xana staggered to her feet and glared at Splicer. Already, his fury had ebbed away, replaced by a look of abject horror at what he'd just done. Her vision clouded over with red and she swung out at him. Splicer deftly blocked the punch, though he wasn't expecting it when she spun and let loose a devastating roundhouse kick. He intercepted it before it could reach his solar plexus, but the sheer force made his entire arm go numb. _

_Next came an elbow to the back, then a knee to the stomach. And _then_ her foot finally connected with his solar plexus. All he could do was lay there, in the exact same spot she'd been in a few moments ago. _Whoa_, he thought, _I really _did_ teach her how to fight.

"_I mean it," she declared coldly. "I can't live like this anymore. I'm leaving for good, and it's pretty obvious I've made up your mind about it. See ya, Splice…call me when you're sober."_

* * *

Talon blinked, surprised that Xana had gone through so much. It made sense now; why she could connect with people in an instant, but was loath to trust them on anything significant.

He wanted to smack himself. How must it look to her; to have him act like he did, then pretend nothing ever happened? As much as he hated to admit it, in her eyes he was probably just like Splicer – just another man who spoke pretty, clichéd words, but didn't care for her any more at the end of the day.

Talon searched for a response that was suitably safe. "I know I'm not exactly your favorite person right now, so...I'm glad you trust me enough to tell me this," he said quietly.

"Whatever," she shrugged. "At any rate...Splice and I aren't friends anymore, so it doesn't even matter."

Xana paused for a moment. "I can't believe he did that again," she observed randomly. "That lying di'kut swore he'd changed." The murmur was so soft he barely heard it over the music in the background.

Talon's face clouded over with anger. He asked incredulously, "He's hit you before?"

"Why do you think I left?"

Xana's eyes looked lost and far away as she explained, "For the rest of the trip, he apologized and pleaded with me to reconsider. I forgave him, on the condition that he straighten his life out, but I still refused to stay. Too much had been said and done. I needed to get away."

Talon paused, unsure of what to say. "I don't understand," he finally replied at length. "Why were you so friendly with him, then? I'm surprised he survived the first incident, let alone the second."

Xana sighed. "I don't expect you to understand; maybe you never will. Splice wasn't always like that…he doesn't like to show it, but deep down, he's kind and caring. He used to be the most amazing friend," she reminisced sadly.

* * *

_The city lights took her breath away. Xana stood in the midst of a local bazaar, situated on a massive terrace overlooking Corellia's capital city. Lights, sounds, and smells all blended together in a dazzling cacophony. The awed sixteen-year-old couldn't help but flit from booth to canopied booth, touching and looking at all the exotic merchandise with wide eyes. _

"_Having fun?" Splicer asked with a smile. He was dutifully trailing behind her, making sure that his newest crewmember – who was sorely lacking in street-smarts – didn't get into trouble._

"_Yeah! This is amazing, I'm so glad you made us all take a night off to come here! I just wish my family could be here to see this-" Suddenly, she stopped and the grin fell from her face._

_Splicer looked at her curiously. He was used to her bouts of homesickness; usually, he'd leave her alone to curl up in a corner of the ship and work through it herself. He didn't feel guilty. After all, she'd only been part of his crew for a few weeks, and he treated even his right-hand-man with the same indifference. But still…now that she was standing up close, right in front of him…_

_Compassion wasn't his strong suit, but he decided he could give it a shot. "Hey, um, you need anything?" he asked hesitantly._

_Xana quickly shook her head no, afraid to bother the man who captained their smuggling vessel. He was strong, silent, and dangerous; a frightening enigma to a young girl struggling just to find her bearings in the galaxy. _

_Splicer shrugged, "If you're sure."_

"_Wait," she interrupted quietly. "Can…can I just go and get some fresh air, please?" He nodded, and she immediately dove through the crowd, toward the railing. _

_Xana stood there for some time, gripping the durasteel bars and taking deep breaths of the cold, exhaust-laden air. "Just move on," she chided herself, forcefully pushing away memories of crashing waves and warm smiles. "Missing home won't bring you back, so toughen up."_

_She suddenly sensed his hulking, dark presence behind her. Her shoulders tensed and her breathing became more difficult. Somehow, she always felt constricted when he was around…almost as if she had to act a certain way around him, lest he boot her out of his ship and into the cold, cruel world._

_Needless to say, she was surprised when she felt something heavy settle on her arm. It was a sleek, beautiful leather flight jacket, of the deepest, most calming red she could imagine. Slowly, she unfurled the garment and slipped it on. It wasn't warm, but it was comforting somehow._

"_Thank you," she murmured gratefully, surprised that her brooding, intense captain would bother to buy her such a wonderful gift. _

_Splicer shrugged nonchalantly, "Saw it in a booth nearby; thought it might take your mind off of...things." He turned and looked at her carefully, almost analytically. _

"_Hey, look," he said quietly. "I know I'm not the most pleasant guy to be around, but you don't have anything to fear. You miss your family, and that's okay, but...you know, my crew's kinda like a family too. Point is, I'll make sure you're taken care of. Alright?"_

_Xana remained silent, but let a smile – a real, genuine, dazzling smile – light up her face. _

_Despite the fact that she was only two years younger than him, Splicer had always thought of her as the spazzy, naïve kid of the crew. Maybe it was the soft city lights illuminating her face; maybe it was the warm summer wind whipping her long hair every which way. Either way, he was floored by how strikingly beautiful she looked right then. _

_He smiled and turned to watch the city vista with her. Maybe there was more to this strange girl than he'd first thought._

* * *

_Everything was all heat and blinding light._

_Xana opened her eyes to behold sunset's amber rays shining through the rough fabric of a tent. She quickly sat up, grimacing when she felt pain shooting throughout her upper body. Looking down, she noticed a thick bandage wrapped around her stomach. Her eyes widened. _

_The last thing she'd remembered was alarms blaring, blaster bolts flying everywhere, and holding on for dear life as Splicer gunned the swoop bike across Tatooine's scorching plains. Blinding pain had blossomed over her stomach, and she'd gone tumbling down into the heat and grit. Then…nothing._

_Xana placed a hand on the bandage, still not believing he'd came back for her. They'd been completely flanked by enemy vehicles. Turning around would've been suicide._

_And yet here she was. _

_Slowly, she pushed herself up and half-crawled, half-staggered outside. Splicer was sitting next to a small campfire, eating roasted strill meat with his combat knife. He smiled when he saw her. "Hey, you're okay."_

_She gave him a grim smile, and he helped her sit down next to him. "You came back for me."_

"_I kinda gathered that by now," he teased with a smirk. "Here, eat some of this. We don't have any water, but this'll still make you feel better." He carved off a slice and gave it to her._

_Xana fingered the meat, but still didn't eat it. "I mean, _why_ did you come back for me?"_

_Splicer, having eaten his fill, laid back in the sand and placed his arms behind his head. "Sheesh, kid. Who else is gonna join me in taking on the galaxy? It's together till the end for you and me." He patted the sand next to him and added, "C'mere when you finish that strill. Faye and Jett won't be coming till morning, so tonight I am going to show you how we smugglers use constellations to navigate through the desert."_

_Xana popped the meat into her mouth and laid back as well. By now, the scorching suns had disappeared, and the sand was pleasantly warm. She listened quietly as he pointed out all the individual constellations, even though all the information was flying over her head. When he ran out of constellations to talk about, they simply came up with new ones._

_When Splicer looked over at her again, her eyes were beginning to droop and she'd curled up on her least injured side. "Tired?" he asked. _

_She shook her head no, though her eyes were already closed. "Just keep talking," she murmured sleepily. "I'm still listening." He looked back up at the sky and kept talking about the stars, though in a much quieter tone._

_That night, she fell asleep in the warm sand, listening to her closest friend paint pictures in the sky._

* * *

"_You okay?" Splicer yelled over the roar of the river. Xana nodded, laughing happily as the cold spray peppered her face._

_The city of Theed zoomed by as they sped down the river's surface. Their swoop bike kept them hovering just over the surface of the water, low enough that Xana could reach down and run her fingers through it. She did so one more time, relishing the cold, smooth water running over her skin._

"_Somebody's not holding on properly," Splicer sighed with mock exasperation. "C'mon, Roxie. We all know about your tendencies to fall off the back of my swoop bike."_

"_Yes, mother," she replied acerbically, but threw her arms around his shoulders anyway. Leaning her head upon his back, she looked up at the scenery. During dusk, Theed's buildings were lit up like dancing fireflies against the lush jungle foliage. The lights reflected back on the river's glassy surface; a breathtaking picture disturbed ever so slightly by the bike's repulsors. She sighed happily. This was life at its' very sweetest. _

"_You hanging on tight?" Splicer called back to her. She nodded in response. "Good, cause things are going to get a little sketchy!"_

_Xana looked up abruptly. Her heart nearly stopped when she saw the waterfall looming ahead. "Splice…what are you doing? Turn back _now_!" she screamed. _

"_No! You're going to love this!" he replied with a laugh. Already, the foam was crashing and flying all around them. They could see clear down the cliffside, to the – very tiny – lagoon below. The bike gave a dangerous lurch, and then they were plunging straight down._

"_Spliiiiiiiiiiiiice!" Xana yelled, hiding behind his shoulder so she wouldn't have to see the rapidly approaching ground._

"_Hey, don't do that! Look up!" Slowly, she dared to peek over his shoulder._

_Propelled by the bike's repulsorlifts, they were skimming the white surface of the waterfall, dodging rocks with incredible speed and grace. Like a beautiful bird or a wisp of surf, they were gliding in tandem with the rushing water, heading toward a sparkling lagoon of the richest green. Xana's mouth parted in amazement. This was the single most beautiful thing she'd ever seen._

_Alas, it only lasted for a few moments. She barely remembered to suck in a breath when they finally hit the water. The force of it was intense, plunging them far below the surface. The swoop bike fell away from beneath them, and she clung to Splicer's shoulders for dear life. Together, they kicked their way to the surface and emerged at the base of the waterfall, cheering and gasping for breath. _

"_I am going to punch your lights out if you ever do that again!" she threatened, even as a colossal smile broke out on her face. _

"_Aw c'mon, you know that was crazy fun."_

"_Yeah, it was," she admitted. "But you're still a tard for driving us off a waterfall like that." She sent a wave of water at him, and he laughed as it splashed over his head. They swam to the nearest boulder and just floated there, looking at the waterfall canvassed in front of the starry sky. Far above them, Theed still glittered majestically. The faint sounds of music and chatter could be heard in their little cove. _

_Xana suddenly broke her eyes away from the beautiful view and looked at Splicer. "Hey Splice?" she said, her voice soft from the quietness of the moment._

"_Yeah?" he replied just as softly, looking down at her. Her big, expressive eyes stood out against her pale face, and she'd honestly never looked more beautiful than at that moment. It was there and then that Splicer decided he'd fallen – hard – for the crazy, short-tempered, absolutely one-of-a-kind girl next to him. _

_The moment was broken when Xana's voice returned to its' normal caustic tone. "If you just wrecked our swoop bike and we're here at the bottom of this cliff, how are we going to get back to the ship?"_

_Splicer blinked. He hadn't exactly thought that one through. "Oh, frag it."_

* * *

A wry chuckle escaped Xana's lips as she shook her head. "I don't think I've ever talked about my past as a smuggler before. It's kinda painful to think about, you know, considering how bad things have gotten with me and Splice. But you can't change what's already happened, so you might as well tough it out and get on with life."

It was true, she knew. There were the small things; the things she could cry and be upset over, and be all right again by the end of the day. And then there were the things that she just shut away, because even _starting_ to untangle all the mess would be like an emotional punch in the face. Smuggler, lone wolf, galactic hero...it didn't matter what she was, she needed to focus on the here and now in order to survive.

Talon was speechless. For star's sake, she'd been accosted by her ex-best friend, on the way home from being hospitalized, following a near-death experience. Could she really be so _cold_, so clinical, about it?

"So now you know," she said, interrupting his thoughts. "Look, about everything – at Hrakert Rift, the sickbay, even sitting with me right now – I know you're just trying to help, and it's really sweet." She swept a hand through her hair nervously, "I really do appreciate it."

"It's cause I care about you," he said bluntly, taking her hand in his. "You're my best friend."

Xana sighed, already regretting what she had to do. "But you don't know me," she interrupted, looking at him seriously. She held up their hands for him to see. "You see this? This is exactly what I don't need. Things that mess with my head, leaving me to wonder what _is_ and what _isn't_. I'm supposed to be a hero, and heroes need to be analytical, logical." She gripped his hand tighter, seething under the burden of trying to be what she could not.

"This isn't supposed to happen," she kept ranting. "I'm a rogue Jedi tasked with saving the galaxy; you're the unfortunate Republic solider who just so happens to be stuck with me. I just wish-" Xana stopped abruptly and covered her face with her free hand. "I wish things could be different."

"Me too," Talon replied quietly. He stood, helping her up as well.

"But you know things _can't_ be different."

"Yeah," he sighed. "So what, the minute we leave this room we're just a soldier and Jedi again? Just like that?" Try as he might, he couldn't keep the bitterness out of his tone.

"No…we're still friends," Xana replied, letting go of his hand. She looked at him uncertainly. "We _are_ still friends, right?"

For the first time that day, Talon smiled. "Yeah. Of course." He was a little surprised when she stepped forward and hugged him in response.

"That's good…you're a good friend," she said, her pained voice muffled by his jacket sleeve. "Just…do yourself a favor and forget we ever had this conversation, okay? Find somebody normal. Somebody that's not an angry, cynical loner who-"

"Xana," he interrupted her, drawing away so he could look her in the eyes. "You'd think the term 'best friend' indicates I _like_ being around your angry, cynical, loner self. And besides, this whole 'galaxy-saving hero' thing isn't going to last forever. Maybe when it's all over, we can talk about this again, you know? Maybe over a cup of caffa?"

Xana was, for once in her life, shocked into silence. Slowly, a smile spread over her face. "You know what, I'd like that." With mock formality, she offered him her hand. "So, in the meantime…friends?"

"The best," he replied, shaking her hand dramatically. They pulled each other into another hug, each trying to hide a wide, goofy grin. It was nice, having things back to normal again.

Xana, being only an inch or two shorter, easily placed a hand on his shoulder and pushed him back down onto the plasteel containers. "So," she said conversationally, plopping down next to him, "if I may randomly change the subject topic, can you tell me why our pilot is so ticked off at me?"

"You mean, you didn't know?" Talon asked, surprised. "Bastila told me that his son joined the Sith Academy on Korriban. Carth's a pretty hardcore Republic citizen, so you can probably tell he was devastated when he found out."

"Oh no," Xana muttered, facepalming.

"I'm going to go ahead and assume you said something about his being absent during the Mando Wars?"

Xana nodded, embarrassed.

"You couldn't have known," he reminded her, patting her back encouragingly. "It's okay."

"I have to fix this," she insisted. "And I think I have a mutually beneficial way of doing that, too."

As if on cue, the loading ramp hissed open and they could hear the crew tromping into the hallway. Talon nudged Xana and said, "I better go help load the cargo and let you put your brilliant plan into action. Carth and Bastila wanted to talk to you about our next destination anyway." He gave her a fake punch to the arm and got up to leave. As soon as he reached the doorway, though, Xana suddenly called his name.

"Yeah?" he asked, turning around to look at her.

Xana smiled shyly, "Thanks, snipertard. For everything."

"Anytime."

Xana strolled into the cockpit, where Carth and Bastila were discussing the details of their next hyperspace jump. They seemed to be at an impasse; Carth wanted to go to Tatooine next, claiming that it would be good to let the crew take on the least difficult planets first. Bastila, on the other hand, was far more interested in investigating the rumors of civil unrest on Kashyyyk. She argued that her skills as a mediator might help resolve the situation without a conflict.

"Ah, just the person I wanted to see," Bastila cheerily greeted Xana. "Do you have any suggestions for where we should go next?"

"Korriban," Xana replied, not missing a beat. "We need to go to Korriban and get Carth's kid."

Bastila was incredulous, "You cannot be serious! The very planet is crawling with the dark side, and as much as I sympathize with Carth's plight, we cannot let any one person influence our course of action. This is the fate of the entire galaxy we are discussing!"

Xana was not fazed, and began to bring up the coordinates on the navicomputer. "I don't see what the problem is," she replied coolly. "There's a Star Map on the planet, so it's not exactly out of our way. Also, if I don't learn how to deal with the dark side now, how am I going to hold up against Malak and his space station of doom?" Xana turned around and smiled smugly, knowing that she had Bastila cornered. "And of course, how will the Council react if they hear you left a Force sensitive, a kid no less, in the clutches of the Sith?"

Bastila sputtered indignantly, unable to come up with a suitable counter-argument. "Very well, then," she finally agreed. "Carth, please make the jump to Korriban."

The disbelief on their pilot's face quickly gave way to unadulterated joy. "Thank you!" he burst out, grinning at the two Jedi. "Both of you…you don't know how much this means to me. I can't believe it…Dustil is _alive_, and I'm going to see him again!" In a moment of uncharacteristic lightheartedness, he even stood up and swept Xana into a hug. She was too stunned to move, even when he let go and moved on to Bastila. The older Jedi accepted the embrace with more grace and formality, though she was unable to keep the corners of her mouth from twitching up in a small smile. His happiness was just that contagious.

Even without trying, Bastila could sense the years of pain and grief ebbing away from him. She admitted, "Well, I suppose if it helps alleviate some of the sorrow from your past…it will be worth it. I do look forward to meeting your son."

Carth nodded enthusiastically as he prepped the Ebon Hawk for takeoff. "Oh, you'll love Dustil. He was such a character as a kid…my gosh, he's gotta be all grown up now."

Xana smiled and silently retreated out of the cockpit, leaving Carth to talk and gush about his son. She got the sense he wasn't really talking to her, anyway.

In the hallway, she nearly bumped into Talon, who was out of breath from loading crates. Leaning against the wall, he hollered, "Carth! Cargo's in the bay, we're all clear for takeoff!"

"Gotcha!" came the reply from the cockpit. The subspace engines activated and the Ebon Hawk all but rocketed out of the hangar. Both teenagers stumbled, giggling at their pilot's eagerness.

"C'mon," Xana motioned toward the common room. "I don't think we want to be standing here when he jumps to hyperspace."

"Says you," Talon panted, still hanging onto a wall panel. "You didn't have to carry in all those rations."

Xana poked him in the side. "Fatty," she teased. "I bet I could do it without complaining."

"You'd do it with your mind!" he retaliated.

"And your point is?" Xana asked, walking down the corridor. She called over her shoulder, "Hey, you want to watch a scary movie? First one to scream loses!"

"What do I get if I win?"

"Bragging rights for all of five minutes," she said dryly.

Talon considered it for a moment. Then, the ground abruptly shifted under him and he was thrown onto the floor. He got up slowly, mentally logging the fact that hyperspace jumps _hurt_.

"Well?" Xana asked again, smiling smugly from her perch on the sofa.

Talon shook his head and grinned, "Oh, you are so on."

* * *

**A/N: As usual, a shoutout goes to writtenrhythm for betaing this chapter, fixing all the out of character dialogue for me, and generally going the extra mile as a beta reader. :D**

**So yep, this chapter explains a lot, then. Or not. It's probably a little confusing, especially the part about the spice, especially since spice isn't normally thought of in that context. Meh...I just figured, might as well include a positive message/dose of reality if I'm going to write something original. Why an anti-drug message, then? Cause it's normally not a very big deal in the SW universe, and I wanted to break away from the norm and show that substance abuse does have very real repercussions (fictional or no).  
**

** I maybe sorta kinda wanted to practice writing background plots as well, in anticipation of next chapter. A.K.A., the epic Malak-battles-Revan-for-the-first-time-and-then-they-become-Sith-and-go-to-take-over-the-galaxy-flashback chapter. So now y'all will get your explanation of how Xana could've become Darth Revan at thirteen, complete with epic fight scene AND a very special mystery cameo.  
**

**...I will be expecting my sticker in the mail. The glittery kind, if you please. :P  
**


	23. Weight of the World

Chapter 20 – Weight of the World

Soundtrack:

Flashback: Telos – Let it Burn by Red

Flashback: Malak vs. Revan fight scene – Faceless (Radio Single Version) by Red [Yup, I am aware of the extreme irony.]

Flashback: The day she became Sith – Hello by Evanescence

**A/N: On a sidenote, the poem Xana quotes in the flashback is "The Raven" by Edgar Allen Poe. I needed an inspiration for Xana to choose the name "Revan", and, well, she likes to read so why not? Not to mention, the similarity was almost too good to be true.**

**Also – it's probably a good idea to remind you all of that journal Xana discovered whilst finding the first Star Map on Dantooine. The journal is rather important in this chapter, and in ones to come, so remember it. **

**That is all. **

* * *

Hyperspace was boring. So interminably boring, in fact, that the Ebon Hawk's crew had taken to claiming their own little niches to keep them occupied for the passing weeks.

It was in this little habit that Xana had become a master of stealth. She crawled over the mountains of cargo crates, expertly ducking between the rows upon rows of wet laundry strung up from the ceiling. Looking around, she stopped when she spotted a neat little gap between the food and ammo stores; it was just too good a hiding place to pass up. Xana wedged herself in, leaning her back against the wall and letting the crates obscure her from view.

She stilled her breath, listening for approaching footsteps. Nothing.

Xana smiled. Here, walled in by plasteel, flickering light panels, and dripping pant legs, she could finally have a moment to be alone and read. It happened rarely enough, what with her near-constant Jedi training and the ship being so crowded. Xana resolved to enjoy every second of the solitude.

Reaching into the pocket of her baggy sweatshirt, she brought out Revan's journal and propped it up on her knees. Even now, nobody of the ship knew of its' existence, as it was Xana's most closely guarded secret. Speaking of Revan was pretty much taboo on the Ebon Hawk; Bastila saw to that well enough.

But Xana was practically retracing Revan's footsteps. She was going to see sights, traverse obstacles, and face dilemmas just the same as Revan had once done. As such, she wanted to know who Revan was behind the mask, what made her fall…and what went on in her mind as it all happened.

She'd already read through most of the Mandalorian Wars, Revan and Malak's discovery of the Star Forge, and a few vague descriptions of a civilization they'd discovered beyond the Outer Rim. The entries had grown shorter and farther apart as time had gone on, but still, it was a treasure trove of information. Although the records were incomplete, there were missing pieces of history, directions to the Star Maps, even hyperspace coordinates. Of course, the location of the Star Forge was nowhere to be found, in case the journal should fall into enemy hands.

Xana skipped ahead to her latest bookmark. It was dated a few months after Revan's last entry, which had been recorded in the Unknown Regions. This entry, in stark contrast to the sparse, factual narratives of the last few chapters, was overflowing with emotion and anxiety.

**_Entry #1,056_**

**_Time: 0100 hours_**

**_Location: Orbit above Telos_**

**Everything is spinning out of control and I can't do anything to stop it. This was supposed to be our vaunted return to the Republic – we would swoop in, save the galaxy, and finish what we started so long ago. Now, we're at war with the very thing we swore to protect. **

**We came out of hyperspace near Telos, armed with the massive fleet created by the Star Forge. We tried to get a hearing with the Telosian government, to pass on the message as soon as possible, but they refused to see us right away. Weeks passed, and we busied ourselves with recruiting members of the Telosian militia for our own private corps. One day, Alek just lost his temper and stormed into his shuttle, determined to make them listen - by force if necessary. The Telosian military was already considerably angered by our persistence and recruiting efforts. Now, they only saw an alien craft making straight for their center of government. They opened fire, and we were forced to return fire in order to save his life. And so the battle began.**

**He's refused to tell me anything. From what Jaq has told me, they've started attacking civilian targets in order to create a diversion. **

**I finally went planetside today. Alek ordered me to stay on the flagship, but I was way past respecting him. I took a fighter right out of the hangar bay and made for the nearest bit of civilization.**

**When I landed…it was unspeakable. It was one thing to _hear_ about the bombardment, but I'd never expected the aftermath to be so bad. I stood in the gray, charred ashes of what was once a quaint little village, watching homes burn and innocent civilians weep. I had been so blind. I'd never noticed Alek changing; becoming angrier, darker, and self-serving. **

**I thought we were saving the galaxy. I thought we were working for the greater good. I thought we were heroes.**

**Now I know we were really the villains. **

A sigh escaped Xana's lips. Revan sounded so mature for someone so young; like she was used to analyzing every little detail and constantly plotting ahead just to stay alive. Perhaps war just did that to one's mind…swept away the childish innocence and replaced it with cold logic and practicality. It reminded her of her own heart; so burdened by responsibility that she constantly had to live in the moment, take every day as it came, lest she go mad with worry.

_Huh. Maybe I should be a little scared that I actually relate to Darth Revan_, she half-joked to herself. Xana stopped all of a sudden, drawing in a sharp breath. The moment the thought passed through her mind, it was like something _clicked_, and she couldn't explain what. The mental images she'd created over the weeks of reading suddenly seemed more vibrant, more alive, than anything she'd experienced while reading other books. It was like the scenes were solidifying into something real - almost tangible - in her mind, and she was powerless to stop it.

Xana's heart began to race violently. Panic set in, followed by the distinctive feeling of adrenaline rushing through her veins. The datapad clattered down to the floor, forgotten as Xana tried to stop the oncoming panic attack. She clenched her eyes shut and hid her face in her arms.

Panic attacks were nothing new to her. She'd suffered from them ever since a massive collision on her homeworld had left her in the ICU, taking the lives of her mother and sister as well. This time, though, she could feel the wisp of a memory begin to surface. It struggled to emerge amidst the chaos and static that was her conscious mind. Even in her panicked state, she could tell that this little fragment, buried deep inside her mind, was something important. Something she couldn't afford to lose. Xana reflexively fell onto her side and curled into a ball, trying to escape the light and sound of the outside world so she could discern what her mind was trying to tell her.

She never even noticed when she fell unconscious.

* * *

_Xana stood hidden behind the pillar of what was once the village's main square. All around her, homes collapsed and smoldered. Beneath her bare feet – unclad in her rush to get from the training room to the hangar bay – gray, chalky dust shifted between her toes. Republic soldiers scurried around with countless medkits and bio-beds. The peaceful babble of birdsongs and rivers were eclipsed by the chaotic whine of evac ships and sirens. _

_Chaos. That was the only word for it. And it was all her fault, for not seeing what Alek was turning into._

_No one would recognize her. She had come unmasked and un-armored, hidden under a billowing cloak. The large hood rested over her head, showing only her grayish-pale face and a few wisps of dull black hair._

_She peered at the remains of the dwelling closest to her. A young boy, around her own age, was digging in the rubble. His limbs were scratched and bruised, but he kept pushing away stone and dirt as if his life depended on it. Finally, he stopped, having unearthed what he was looking for. A look of acute pain crossed his features before he gasped and fell to his knees. Tears ran down his sooty face, leaving wet, black trails on his cheeks. _

_Xana just stood there and watched him, letting the wind whip her hair and cloak around. The wintry cold was a small relief. It numbed the pain and guilt building up inside of her, purging it with silent shivers and blowing it away with the ashes of the village. _

_Hours passed. Still the boy remained, and still she watched him. Multiple evac crews had already come and tried to get him to board a vessel. Each time he had shook his head no, never taking his somber eyes from the remains of his childhood home. Now all the vessels were gone. The village was a hollow, empty, silent shell now, devoid of even the chaotic sounds that had sounded so terrible before. _

_The quietness was even more chilling. _

_Xana longed to take the other child in her arms. What was the use of staying hidden? There was only the two of them left in the entire village. And yet she just stayed rooted to the spot, hand clutching the base of her hood to draw it more tightly around her face. _

_The boy stirred. He dragged his dirty hands across his cheeks, standing up on wobbly legs. Slowly, he trundled over the rocks and debris, sniffling all the while. When he reached the other side of the house, he stopped. Carefully, almost painstakingly, he bent down to pick up a torn rag doll. He turned it over slowly, looking at it as if he wanted to memorize every detail. Then, he clutched it to his chest and let the tears start anew. _

_Xana began to breathe harder, lips parted in an attempt to draw more oxygen from the sulfurous, smoky air. She'd been out here too long; her lungs ached for the sterile, temperature-controlled cockpit of her fighter. Or maybe her chest hurt because the horror bearing down on her had just become too much. _

_She tried to make herself believe it was the air._

_Carefully, she edged around the pillar, leaving smudgy tracks in the ashes on the floor. As she moved, the hem of her cloak caught on a metal shard and toppled it over. The clanking noise, however small, echoed like a gunshot in the empty village. Xana drew a sharp intake of breath as the boy whirled around and looked right at her. _

_His eyes bored straight through her, though there was nothing but emptiness in his gaze. His expression was forlorn, pleading almost, as he noted with surprise that there was another person left in the village. Yet, there was something vaguely accusatory in the way he looked at her. It seemed almost as if he knew who she was, but had just lost too much to care anymore. _

_It was this apathetic, despondent emptiness that drove her off the brink. Her tiny, pink feet slapped against the pavement as she turned and fled. His footsteps did not sound behind her, but she could feel his gaze following her as she dodged her way through alleys and brush. _

_After what seemed like an eternity, she saw her starfighter parked behind a large pile of debris. She jumped in and took off, not even bothering to strap in. Such was her haste to just get _off_ the accursed planet. Never again would she come here; not after today._

_Despite her better judgment, she looked down at Telos' charred surface one last time. The boy's deep blue eyes were still following her, still chilling her with that look of silent accusation._

_Xana burst into tears as soon as she broke the atmosphere._

_No more. Alek was going to change now, or pay the price._

* * *

Xana slowly unfurled and gazed up at the ceiling, unable to get the heartrending image out of her mind. Although the scene itself had been pretty clear, it still felt like there was something more. Something missing. Xana closed her eyes, desperately trying to fish the last stubborn strands of knowledge from the depths of her mind. Concentrating as hard as she could, she tried to pinpoint anything that made the vision vaguely familiar. A single memory came to mind.

Once, she and Talon had been upgrading weapons in the swoop garage. He had needed a barrel attachment for his blaster rifle. She followed him to his bunkroom, lingering in the doorway and chatting idly while he searched for the errant part. His footlocker had been open just long enough for her to see a flash of odd color. She remembered shifting to the side in order to get a better look at it, then his disapproving glare as he noticed her not-so-subtle snooping. Promptly, he slammed the footlocker shut and ushered her back to the garage.

As strange and irrelevant as it seemed, there was something in that footlocker that related to her vision.

Not wanting to lose whatever mental progress she'd made, Xana made a split-second decision. Quietly, she ran to the opposite bunkroom and ducked in. It was mercifully empty, though it probably wouldn't stay that way for long. She padded across the room and wasted no time in throwing Talon's footlocker open. The thought that this was wrong, that it was an abuse of their friendship, flitted across her mind, but curiosity won over in the end.

She shoved aside some spare blaster parts, datapads, and clothes, not stopping until she reached the very bottom. Tucked in a corner was a small bantha-leather pouch. She hesitated for a moment, before slowly opening it and reaching in. Her heart nearly stopped when she saw what it contained.

In the palm of her hand lay a battered rag doll. Its stitched-on smile had all but worn away and its clothes were black with soot. Hesitantly, she held the toy up to her nose. It smelled of smoke and dust, the same acrid aroma from her vision. Even after all these years, the stench was still strong enough to make her reel back in a coughing fit.

As soon as she'd gotten the coughing under control, Xana's eyes fell on a small bulge in the pouch. Still curious, she upended it. A small holoprojector slid out and landed on its power button.

A picture of Talon, still young and baby-faced, flickered to life. He couldn't have been more than twelve at the time it was taken. In his arms was a blond-haired, blue-eyed toddler; so cute and pixie-like she seemed almost like a porcelain doll. The baby's face was captured in a sunny laugh, her chubby arms wrapped around his shoulder. Talon was smiling as well; a huge, unabashed grin like she'd never seen on him before. When he smiled – even if he truly meant it – he always did so in a soft, reserved way, almost as if he was afraid to smile.

The image buzzed and flickered all of a sudden. She inspected the holoprojector; there didn't seem to be anything wrong with it. A drop of clear liquid landed on the device, and it sputtered again.

Tears.

Xana quickly set it aside and wiped her cheeks. _It's not fair_, she thought angrily. _Malak attacked that planet without mercy, and for what? Pride? Glory? He could've reclaimed all that. Talon can never get his sister back._

Anger flared up within her. She had intended to finish the mission from day one…but now, it was personal. _Malak will never get the chance to do this to anyone else. Never. Again._

Xana gasped and fell onto her side, revenge all but forgotten as her vision started to go black.

* * *

_"What did you do?" _

_Xana was seething, her tiny hands locked in a deathgrip on the observation deck's railings. "Why the hell did you do this, Alek? ANSWER ME!" she screamed. Behind her, the bridge's crew stopped whatever they were doing to stare at the scene. She paid them no mind._

_Slowly, Alek turned to glower at her. "Hold your tongue, child. Do not assume that I owe you any sort of explanation; you have no idea what has transpired."_

_"Then enlighten me," she snapped. _

_"Very well…I _am_ feeling rather generous today," he said. His voice was smooth, but carried a dark undertone that set her on edge. "I requested that the Telosian government, being the first we've encountered since returning, forward my message to the Senate. Like the fools they are, they transmitted the data along with an addendum that they do not trust our claims. Now, the Republic Senate itself refuses to hear me!" _

_He paced back and forth, fully agitated now. "Don't you see? At this rate, the True Sith shall be upon us before I can convince the Republic to fortify itself! The only option now is to take the Republic by force and prepare it for the invasion _myself_. Starting, of course, with the planet who ultimately resigned this galaxy to its tragic fate."_

_"You can't do this, Alek!" Xana shouted, stepping in front of him. He was at least two feet taller than her, imposing enough to make even his most ruthless officers quake in their boots. Still, she held her ground and looked him in the eye as she spoke. "What about all those innocent people down there? They had nothing to do with that decision, and you destroyed their lives anyway!"_

_"I have no sympathy for them," Alek waved her off. "Sometimes casualties must be sustained in war; even you must surely know that. I had to attack the more remote, civilian locales to spread out their troops and deplete planetary resources. Hopefully, the next planet we visit shall comply much more easily."_

_Alek tried to storm onto the ramp connecting the observation deck and bridge. Xana, however, stepped in his way again. _

_"I am losing patience with you," Alek growled. "Step aside, and do not bother me with any more of your foolish questions. You will obey my orders, fight alongside the ground forces as arranged, and that is all you need to know."_

_"No," Xana replied matter-of-factly. "We can't win against the True Sith if we ravage the Republic with war! We either do this the right way, or this stops here and now."_

_"I will tell you one more time," Alek said. "Move. Aside."_

_"I'll only tell _you_ one more time," Xana snarled back. "I'm not going to let you do this to another planet."_

_Alek closed his eyes and let out an enraged breath. When he opened them again…it was clear from the way he looked at her that something had _snapped_. "It seems we are at an impasse," he said. "And you have far outlived your usefulness, child." _

_A sudden burst of the Force pushed Xana back and sent her tumbling into the center of the platform. Lying amidst a mess of black and red robes, she let out a groan and opened her eyes. An upside-down Alek, yellow eyes glittering with fury, was advancing toward her. _

_She quickly rolled into a battle crouch and activated her lightsabers, the purple one in an offensive stance and the red one in a reverse grip. "What are you doing?" she demanded shakily._

_Alek paid her no mind, instead choosing to activate his own crimson saber. "It is a shame that things would come to this," he sneered, not meaning the words at all. "You would have done so well as my apprentice. But instead, you are weak, powerless, a liability! I have no further use for you!" He sent a wide and powerful strike toward her; one that nearly swept her lightsaber out of her hand when she tried to block it. _

_Xana ducked under his lightsaber and twirled around, trying to drive home a close-quarters hit. Once she infiltrated the penumbra of safety that his blade provided, his torso would be open to attack. Instead, his saber just swung down to meet hers again, driving her back with his superior strength. _

_Xana began to panic as their blades locked and began to bear down towards her. All Alek needed was a few more seconds, an extra burst of strength, a twirl of the saber…heck, even a flick of his wrist, and she would be dead. _

_This was pathetic. Was this how she was destined to die? Not yet fourteen, falling slain at the feet of a traitor like some weak, grubby pawn? All those years of training, honing her mind, learning Alek's battle strategies; they had to be worth something! Xana's mind began racing, working through everything she knew in a matter of nanoseconds. Alek only had brute strength and a minimal grasp of Force abilities. He was also oblivious to the amount of cunning, agility, and power Xana had acquired in her many hours alone in the training room. If she caught him off guard, then hit him hard when it counted…_

_The heat of their sabers was bearing down on her cheek. She flinched and shied away from the glowing blades, fear bubbling up inside her like a wellspring. It was now or never._

_With a piercing yell, Xana mustered up all her mental strength and unleashed a vicious vortex of Force energy. The crackling ball of blue lightning flared out, flinging Alek several meters into the air. Xana activated her second lightsaber and sprung into the air, sailing over the rail and into the labyrinth of work stations that lined the bridge._

_She landed in a crouch and looked up with a taunting smirk, the glow of her sabers tingeing her face red and purple. "I'm not going down that easy," she yelled, trying to coax him into a blind rage. "Why don't you come down here and fight me like a man?" The bridge crew backed away in one accord, either to flee their leader's wrath or retreat into the shadows to watch the duel in safety._

_Alek leaped off the platform with a fearsome war cry, saber poised to deliver a crushing blow. Xana had him right where she wanted him._

_She crouched down and threw her hands up, letting loose a massive outburst of energy. All Alek saw was a wall of white light before he ricocheted off of it, the combined force of their attacks propelling him into a data terminal. The durasteel caved in, enclosing him in a mess of sparking wires and fragmented parts._

_Groaning, he propped himself with his arms and stared at the young girl in disbelief. "How-" was all he spluttered. _

_"I may have forgotten to mention that I've picked up a few tricks," Xana replied airily, twirling both her sabers back into an attack stance. Her sharp eyes locked onto her adversary. "What's the matter, can't handle it?" she mocked._

_Xana was playing with fire and she knew it. Then again, what did it matter? Only one of them was going to walk away from this, so she might as well get in one last bit of levity before it was all over. This sarcastic banter, this warped methodology through which she dredged up the last semblances of faraway, happier times, was all she had left of her old self. And she was determined never to let it go. _

_Alek ripped himself free from the twisted metal and closed the distance between them in the blink of an eye. Time slowed around them as strike was met for strike, the intensity of the battle heating up to near-superhuman levels as the two foes struggled to get just _one step ahead_ of the other. One step was all they needed. Alek was strong and combat-savvy, delivering punishing blows that, if given the least amount of leeway, would kill her in an instant. Xana was quick in both body and mind; dancing around his strikes and gracefully deflecting them as she peppered him with subtle distractions. In the nanoseconds between strikes, sometimes she generated enough of a Force push to mess up his stance or make him lose his footing. Little things like that, or even the occasional incoming projectile, made all the difference between life and death for her._

_Still, the battle was beginning to take its' toll on her. She had to end this now, lest she tire out and lose her chances of winning altogether. Watching for a lapse in his concentration, she ducked under his arm and spun around so that she was standing behind him. Before she could regain her footing, however, a quick blow from his elbow sent her sprawling to the ground._

_Xana rolled and sprung to her feet. Turning around, she jumped up and began to run along the tops of computer terminals. She sped herself up, praying that she would gather the needed momentum…_

_She took a deep breath and leaped. _

_It was almost ethereal; the feeling of weightlessness that swept over her. She was sailing – no, flying – through the air, gazing with childlike wonder at the massive fleet migrating past the central viewport and into the unknown. _

_That look of innocent, pure awe was shut off from the world, one last time, as she let her eyes gently flicker shut. Xana let out a calm, even breath. She rotated back, bending her knees and crouching to absorb the impact. Her feet touched the transparisteel surface for but a moment, and she was flying again._

_Once more came the weightlessness, and once more she vaulted. She span and jumped, over and over again, rising until she had nearly reached the rafters of the bridge. Lines of crackling blue electricity zapped the walls and supports around her; no doubt Alek's attempts at a distance attack. He was never fast enough to catch her, though, and the energy ricocheted harmlessly off the grey surfaces. _

_Finally, Xana neared the very top of the massive chamber. Pathetic rivulets of lightning still reached up from below, threatening to damage her the moment she came within range. Problem was, there were no footholds or platforms here. The only way to go was down._

_So be it. Xana somersaulted in mid-air, turning slowly and gracefully. The lightning ceased for a moment as a wave of confusion – along with a bit of unsteady triumph – drifted over from Alek. Xana grinned, not unlike the way she used to do when she was a little child and planning a surprise for him. This time, however, the surprise would be less than pleasant._

_My turn._

_Lightning crackled and formed in the palms of her hands, growing into a steady stream that made Alek's own attempt pale in comparison. She descended faster and faster, the rivulets of energy fanning out and becoming more sporadic as they increased in intensity. _

_Alek squinted in confusion, trying to figure out exactly what his young adversary was trying to do. True, she was a much, _much_ tougher opponent than she looked, but what was free-falling going to-_

_"Oh no," he muttered. _

_All was silent for a moment as they collided in a flash of blinding light. Then, with a low 'fwoop', a massive shockwave burst forth and swept over the whole room. Terminals were uprooted, papers went flying, and staff were unceremoniously slammed against the walls. At the center of it all was Xana, bent down on one knee and looking calm and unruffled enough to be meditating. Alek lay prone at her feet, thoroughly dazed from the impact. _

_His vision came into focus just briefly enough to see her eyes snap open. He caught the barest glimpse of a movement, and suddenly he was flying up into the air, unable to control his ascent before-_

_A clang sounded throughout the room as he hit the ceiling. He was thrown sideways, barely registering the feel of the transparisteel window against his cheek before he was flying again. Seconds felt like minutes, and the prospect of inevitable triumph; the newfound strength that supposedly rendered his young apprentice obsolete…seemed like months, even lifetimes, ago. _

_Alek had given up the idea of turning the fight to his favor once more. At some point, his lightsaber had flown out of his hand and clattered to the floor below. Now, it was most likely resting in some obscure corner. He couldn't even tell which way was up anymore, much less call the weapon back to his hand. _

_His back hit solid metal for the umpteenth time, and finally the world around him was still. He couldn't move, couldn't breathe; it literally felt as if every bit of energy he possessed had been knocked out of him. Everything hurt, and he hoped beyond hope that he could just lie there and sleep away his loss for the next few weeks._

_No such luck. Xana's voice, soft and sad, wafted through the air. "Alek…why?"_

_He groaned and opened his eyes. Even past his fuzzy vision and the spinning room around him, he could recognize her still-childish but beautiful face hovering above. Between them floated the ethereal purple glow of her lightsaber. _

_She spoke again, more surely this time, "Just stop this madness! The Alek I know – the Alek I still call my brother – would never do this! Just come back, and we can still find a way to save the Republic. Please!"_

_He opened his mouth, struggling to draw breath and form a sentence. After a few moments, he finally managed to whisper, "That Alek…is gone."_

_Xana felt as if the floor had just fallen out from under her feet. The man lying at her feet – the man who was both the father and brother she never had, the man who had practically raised her since she was five – had just attacked the Republic he'd sworn to protect, and nearly killed her in the process. And he would probably do so again, if given the choice._

_You know what you need to do, she told herself. _

_But it's Alek, her inner child pleaded._

_Not anymore. Now, you need to protect the Republic. Protect yourself._

_Xana closed her eyes and raised the saber with trembling hands. "I'm sorry," she said, her voice breaking with emotion. The purple blade thrummed above them, its' gentle noise a thundering roar in Xana's ears. With all her might, she swung the blade downwards. _

_NO!_

_Her hand faltered._

_It wasn't soon enough._

* * *

Xana shot up, holding a hand to her clammy forehead as she tried to calm her wildly beating heart. The room began to spin and sway a bit, but she forced herself onto her feet anyway. She clenched her jaw and tried to swallow away the dryness in her mouth, as she clumsily went about returning Talon's possessions to his footlocker. Vision or no, it was probably way past time for her to leave. Being caught in here would cause a whole avalanche of questions that she just couldn't answer.

Completely exhausted, she shoved the footlocker back into its' original position and stumbled into the common room. Xana let out an impatient sigh as she laid down on the couch and covered her eyes with her forearms. She was so _tired; _tired of the constant training, of the strange visions that only grew more and more intense, and _especially_ of having to walk on eggshells all the time. She couldn't think about herself for even a moment; not when the lives of her crew – and possibly the whole galaxy – rested on her shoulders as well.

Anxious to steer her thoughts away from Revan and the Star Forge, she quickly directed them back to the keepsakes she'd found in Talon's locker. Little treacherous thoughts began popping into her mind; of broken trust, lost respect, and other, far-too-complicated things that she definitely didn't feel like dwelling on. _He wouldn't have told me anyway¸ _she reasoned to herself. The thought didn't make her feel any better.

Xana clenched her eyes shut and shook her head. _That's it. No more thinking tonight. No more visions. No more secrets. I've got enough to dwell on without making my own problems. _

She laid there for some time afterward, forcing her mind to stay blissfully silent as she rested. Finally, when she seemed well enough to walk a straight line, she hauled herself up and crept into her bunkroom. Not even bothering to change out of her clothes, she pulled the covers back and snuggled in gratefully. What she needed right now was a solid eight hours of peaceful, heavenly, _dreamless_ slumber.

Alas, it was not to be so. That night, as her mind came awake once more, she dreamed of a broken-hearted little girl flying high above a ruined planet.

* * *

_Xana strode to her quarters, her stony eyes seeming to bore through everything they landed on. Soldiers, techs, and security officers alike made way for the petite figure gliding through the halls. Her solid strides echoed over the spacious metal walkways, appearing to exude authority with each step._

_On the inside, though, she did not have the luxury of appearing so strong. In fact, she was struggling just to keep her knees from giving way under her. _

_She'd just fought _Alek. _He was in the medbay, recovering from the final strike she had _almost_ followed through on. Nobody was even certain if he would live or not._

_It was nearly impossible to wrap her mind around the concept. Regardless, it had happened, and she had to accept it sooner or later._

_"Jaq," she greeted the assassin guarding her quarters, not bothering to hide the tiredness in her voice. He stepped aside, allowing her entrance, then promptly followed her in._

_"I heard what happened on the bridge, milady," he addressed her cautiously. Despite being five years her senior, Jaq did not make the mistake of underestimating the girl's capabilities._

_Xana sank into a nearby chair, wearily turning her eyes to the assassin. The clairvoyance in her gaze might have made her look wise if she was an aged Jedi master; on a teenage girl, it was just unsettling. "What do you have to say about it, Jaq?" she said._

_"Me?" he asked incredulously. To tell the truth, he didn't know what to make of it any more than she did._

_"Yes, you. I wouldn't ask anyone else," she said. "Considering the secrets, the war, and the assassination attempt, all within the space of what may be the worst single month in galactic history, I just want to get an idea of where this whole operation is heading."_

_"Well," Jaq began, "Most of the crew is…_was_…loyal to Alek. Some purposely wanted to defy the Jedi and the Republic; but there are also a lot of people who followed us just because they didn't want to follow them. Doesn't matter in the end, I guess. The real question is, if we're not Republic, and we're not Jedi…what are we?"_

_"Sith," Xana whispered, closing her eyes despairingly. She felt blind, stupid; she should have seen it coming a long time ago. The crew, their already-fierce loyalty strengthened by the Star Forge's strange properties, would follow Alek to the ends of the galaxy. She herself would've followed him to the ends of the galaxy. It was that misplaced trust that had doomed them from the very beginning._

_A thought suddenly struck Xana. "The crew knows that we have been walking the borderline between soldiers and Sith, right?"_

_"I believe so," Jaq answered. "I don't think it would be much of a surprise if we told them Alek finally made the plunge. They'll remain loyal."_

_"That's not what bothers me," Xana said, pondering aloud. "According to Sith custom, when an apprentice defeats their superior in battle, they take that superior's place in the chain of command. By that logic, that would make me…" she trailed off, slightly horrified._

_"The new Dark Lady of the Sith," Jaq finished for her._

_Xana let out a shuddering breath. Despite the shock still pulsing over her mind in waves, she got up and began to wander around the room restlessly. _

_Jaq continued, "So this station, all its troops, our entire fleet…it's all under your command."_

_She wished he would just be quiet. The enormity of her situation was daunting enough without him stating the obvious. She drew to a halt in front of a transparisteel-encased display cabinet, one that contained all the trinkets and gifts Alek had brought back from his campaigns. _

_The value and rarity of these items only made the betrayal sting harder, reminding her of distant days when she'd simply been the little girl who tagged along with the General. These keepsakes used to represent a time when he'd loved to spoil her and treat her as his own child. Now, they just proved that Xana had gone from being the little sister he'd never had to becoming the very scourge of his existence._

_Her fingers, itching for something to do, closed around her favorite trinket. It was the first he'd ever brought her; a red-and-black Mandalorian mask that had been a trophy from his own first battle. She had only put it on once; to jump out of a storage closet and scare him. They'd laughed about that for weeks, as she could recall._

_Slowly, Xana lifted the mask to her face. She could almost sense remnants of her own childish innocence and mischief, from last time. But it wasn't the same; it would never be the same. Never again would the mask come away to reveal a laughing baby-face and shining green eyes. Were it to come away now, all one would see was an empty shell of a girl. Empty and broken._

_Xana's fingers ventured back into the display case, stopping when they reached a leather-bound book. It was a volume of classic literature, the last and only thing she had to remember her biological father by. Tears sliding down her face and wetting the inside of her mask, she opened it to a marked page and began to read aloud._

_"But the Raven, sitting lonely on the placid bust, spoke only,_

_That one word, as if his soul in that one word did outpour._

_Nothing farther then he uttered – not a feather then he fluttered –_

_Till I scarcely more than muttered, 'Other friends have flown before. On the morrow he will leave me, as my hopes have flown before.'_

_Quoth the Raven, 'Nevermore."_

_Wondering at the stillness broken by reply so aptly spoken,_

_'Doubtless,' said I, 'what it utters is its only stock and store_

_Caught from some unhappy master whom unmerciful disaster_

_Followed fast and followed faster so, when hope he would adjure_

_That sad answer, 'Nevermore!'_

_And the Raven, never flitting, still is sitting,_

_On the pallid bust just above my chamber door,_

_And my soul from out that shadow that lies floating on that floor_

_Shall be lifted – nevermore."_

_Xana shut the book and clutched it to her chest. Like it or not, there were now hundreds of thousands of people under her command; people that would die if she sat around and did nothing. And there was the matter of the Sith Empire. The Republic would not listen to her, especially now that Alek had attacked one of their core worlds. She would make an attempt to negotiate, but if she had to take the Republic and strengthen it herself…so be it. Xana had to be like the Raven from the poem; loyal to her troops, drawing on the wisdom gained from her experiences, and never, ever, relenting from her vigilant watch over the Republic._

_Raven. Xana had to admit, it had a nice ring to it. However, 'Darth Raven' didn't sound quite right…_

_"Roxana?" Jaq spoke up reluctantly. She'd forgotten that he was in the room._

_"What is it?" she snapped, trying to make her voice sound more authoritative._

_"What are your orders, milady?"_

_Xana sighed behind her mask and strode out the door, Jaq maintaining a respectful distance behind her. "Prepare the comm system on the bridge and link it to the entire station. I'm going to issue a statement to the fleet."_

_"Yes, milady. Right away," he said, parting ways to go down another corridor._

_"Oh, and Jaq?" Xana called over her shoulder._

_"Yes?"_

_Xana stood up straighter, strengthened by her resolve to tackle the new responsibilities that lay before her. _

_"Call me Revan."_

* * *

**A/N: Thanks to writtenrhythm for beta reading this chapter! This was probably the most intense one I've written so far, and the most fun I've had writing such intenseness. Now you all know how Xana could've become Dark Lady of the Sith at thirteen - by being a crazy powerful Jedi and a quick thinker. Brains over brawn, people.**

**I'm so happy to finally get that combat scene down in writing! It's been in the works since January, when Red's single "Faceless" first came out. I first imagined up the scene while listening to my iPod and thought, 'yep, this is my Revan vs. Malak song.' :P Come on - "I'm not, I'm not myself, feel like I'm someone else, fallen and faceless, I'm hollow, hollow inside. A part of me is dead, need you to live again. Can you replace this? I'm hollow, hollow and faceless." - that is perfect "falling to the Dark Side" music right there!**

**Poor Xana and Talon, huh? Now that little bit of his past is revealed, and it's apparent that both their childhoods were ruined by Malak's attack on Telos. But at least they've got that common ground, and can help each other to heal. **

**Also...ATTON CAMEO. X3 I just love the idea of him and Xana being friends on the Star Forge.**

**NOW, ON TO KORRIBAN AND ALL THE STAR MAP FINDING ADVENTURES WITHIN! :D**


	24. Welcome to Scenic Korriban

Chapter 21 – Welcome to Scenic Korriban

* * *

Soundtrack:

Disembarking the ship – Boulevard of Broken Dreams by Green Day

Finding Trouble – Live Free or Let Me Die by Skillet

Cantina background music – Famous Last Words by My Chemical Romance, Puppet by Thousand Foot Krutch

Calm and the Storm – Always by Panic! At the Disco

* * *

The next morning, Xana was startled awake by a resounding slam. With an almost superhuman amount of effort, the teenager propped herself up on her arms and blinked away the last remnants of sleep. Even though she utterly despised mornings, anything was better than having nightmares about Revan. The rude awakening was actually something of a respite, finally freeing Xana from the muddled, terrifying mental labyrinth she had been navigating all night. Needless to say, she was absolutely determined not to fall back asleep.

Groaning, she rolled off of her bunk and got to her feet. Mission and Sasha were still slumbering peacefully; a cursory glance to the chronometer indicated it was still the wee hours of the morning. Xana scowled, trying not to think about her warm, soft bunk. She turned and shuffled out into the main hold for some caffa.

Her mug was barely half-filled when Canderous lumbered into the room, hydrospanner in hand. "Well, you're up early," he noted, his voice cold and terse. "Think you can do something useful and get this kriffing power cell out of my repeating blaster? Darn thing probably overheated and fused the clamps together."

"Eh, why not? It's not like I have anything better to do," she drawled, sleepily running a hand over her eyes. Setting her mug on the counter, she followed the ex-mercenary into the swoop garage. He was already working on the firearm again.

"There," he said, pointing to a slightly melted durasteel device holding the power cell.

Xana concentrated on it, trying to free it with the Force. She smiled triumphantly when the durasteel promptly creaked and splintered.

He picked a metal shard off the floor and tried to pry the device loose. Little by little, it began to give way. "Looks like those Jedi powers of yours are useful for something after all," he said. "Hand me the extra power cell while you're here."

Xana crossed the room and began rooting around in the various plasteel containers that lined the walls. "Yeah, I guess," she shrugged. "Although you'd probably know a fair bit about Jedi powers, having been in the Mando Wars and all. I'll bet you have all kinds of crazy stories about your battles with Jedi." Her fingers finally closed around the needed component, and she dutifully trudged back to give it to him.

"Not many involving Jedi, actually," he admitted. "But I still have quite a few stories to tell; conquests and adventures that the Mandalorians of today can only _dream_ of. Care to hear one?"

"Sure!" Xana replied. She quickly scurried over to reclaim her caffa, then settled down against the wall as he began his story. They passed the morning in this manner; Canderous telling story after action-packed story, and Xana listening with rapt attention. Every once in a while she would burst out with a comment or question, each of which only prompted another round of storytelling.

Around breakfast-time, Mission and Sasha ventured into the swoop garage to see what was going on. Eventually, the girls ended up huddled together on the floor of the swoop garage, each of them cradling their own cup of caffa as they listened to a story involving Basilisk war droids.

Sasha was the only exception, of course. Seated securely in Xana's lap, the little girl found the swirls of foam in her drink to be much more entertaining than the old war story.

"Okay, that's it," Xana declared with a grin. "I want a Basilisk war droid!"

"Same here," Mission agreed. "Although I think we'd have trouble getting Carth to let us drive it out of a starship and into orbit."

"Pfft," Xana retorted. "Rule of logic number fifty-two: Never argue with someone seated in a Basilisk war droid." She grinned as she lifted the nearly-empty caffa mug to her lips. This was exactly what she needed; just a good time with friends, no crazy visions, no endless missions, no pointless drama, and certainly no Sith.

Talon shuffled into the swoop garage then, his eyes looking tired and shadowed. He managed a sleepy smile as he waved toward the pajama-clad audience on the floor. "Hey," he yawned. "What're you guys doing?"

"Just listening to some of Canderous' war stories," Xana replied with a smile. "Wanna join us?"

"Actually, I came in here to ask if I could talk with you. It's kind of important, and we're docking at Dreshdae in a few hours, so I have to get this out of the way now," he said.

"Just as well," Canderous cut in gruffly. "I need to get some breakfast, not sit around telling stories all day." The Mandalorian lumbered out of the cargo hold and toward the kitchen.

Xana nodded, hefting Sasha up so she was standing on her feet. "Mission, can you take Sasha and help her get ready? Try and explain to her what's going on, if you can." The Twi'lek took the little girl's hand, shooting Xana a look that said 'tell me _everything_ when you get back to the bunkroom'.

Talon glanced at the little girl's cup as she passed by. "You gave her caffa? _Really_?" he asked in disbelief.

"Why not? I drank caffa all the time when I was a kid, and I turned out fine," Xana replied, grinning as she hopped up onto the workbench.

"Uh huh," Talon said, not quite believing her. "Besides, how do you remember that? I thought you said you lost your memories."

She shrugged, "I did. I just…know these things about myself; my old quirks and habits, what I like, the hobbies I used to take up, even if I don't remember any of it. It's strange." She looked at Talon curiously, drawing her knees up to her chest and hugging them. "But that's obviously not what you wanted to talk to me about. So, shoot."

He stepped forward so he was standing directly in front of her. "Xana, what if…what if something happens to you down there? What if you turn to the dark side, or our cover gets blown and you're trapped with an entire roomful of Sith? I'm not saying I don't trust you, or that you're not capable – it's just…maybe it wasn't a good idea to come to Korriban. At least, not now."

She placed her hands on his shoulders, looking up at him from her perch on the workbench. "We're going to have to take this chance sooner or later; might as well get it over with now. And if, for any reason, I don't come back on board this ship, then you're just going to have to stay strong and complete the mission without me. The Republic needs us, Talon. We can't afford to tiptoe our way around problems like this."

"I know," he sighed. "It still doesn't make me feel any better about this."

"We'll be okay, snipertard," she said, leaning forward and hugging him. "Since when have I ever _not_ come through for this crew?"

"Well…" he intoned.

Xana pulled back and playfully punched him in the chest. "Oh, shut up, you," she chuckled. "Go suit up and get yourself some breakfast. The crew's going to need a meeting before we dock. In the meantime…I've got to find myself a proper Sith disguise."

* * *

A few hours later, the entire crew gathered in the common room to discuss the upcoming mission. Xana was already arrayed in her chosen disguise: a white camisole, plain black shirt with rips on the back and sleeves, fingerless gloves, black skinny jeans, and knee-high boots. Her face was painted to look even paler, if such a thing were possible, and her black makeup was applied even more thickly; starting from the sides of her nose and stretching a little past the corners of her eyes. She was totally unrecognizable…and convincingly frightening, if the crew was to be totally honest.

Bastila brought the meeting to order. "Now, although our reasons for being here are obvious," she said, sparing a sideways glance at Xana and Carth, "it is important to remember that the Star Map is our utmost priority. That, and ensuring neither Xana nor myself succumbs to the dark side energies on this planet. Seeing as I pose much less of a problem in that respect, it goes without saying that I will be part of the ground party-"

"Bastila, with all due respect, I don't think that's such a good idea," Carth cut in. "You're practically the poster Jedi for the entire Order, not to mention one of the most recognizable people in the galaxy. It would be best if you stayed behind."

"I…suppose you're right," Bastila acquiesced, albeit rather reluctantly. She spared a worried glance at Xana, almost as if deciding whether or not remaining behind was worth it.

"It's all right, Bassy, I'll be responsible," Xana said, with as much solemnity as she could muster.

"Yes, well, I would be much more convinced if I didn't know what your definition of 'responsible' was," Bastila replied. "Still, I suppose we have no choice. Who will accompany you?"

"Before I make the announcement, I just want everyone to know that I thought this over as thoroughly as possible," Xana explained. "I chose Canderous, Mission, and Talon to accompany me."

"You've gotta be _kidding_ me!" Carth exploded. "If you think I'm just going to stay on this ship while my son's out there, then you've got another thing coming!"

"Carth, listen to me! You're too recognizable as well; if one of Dustil's classmates doesn't spot you and blow our cover, what's to say Dustil himself won't cause a scene when he sees you? It'll be safer if I explain everything myself and get him to come _here_ to meet with you. Please, just be patient and _trust_ me."

Carth let out a deep, measured sigh and leveled his gaze at her. "All right, Xana, I'll do this your way. Just…promise I'll get to see my son."

"I promise," Xana said, albeit with much more reluctance than she intended. She had no way of finding Dustil, let alone convincing him to come aboard the Ebon Hawk to meet with Carth – but she'd do everything she could to make that happen.

"Still," Bastila cut in, "Why Mission and Talon? Their skill sets are quite impressive, but I would think you'd choose some of the more…_combat-savvy_ members of the crew."

"It'll look much too sketchy to have a group of heavily-armed companions following me around," Xana explained. "For that reason, the other members of the ground team will have to pretend to be indentured bodyguards. _Slaves_, Bastila. Whatever happens, I am _not_ going to put Juhani or Big Z through that ordeal if it can be avoided. Therefore, Mission and Talon are the only two remaining crewmembers who could accompany me."

The Jedi nodded, satisfied with Xana's reasoning. "Very well. Now, do you have any plans as to how you will gain entrance to the Sith academy?"

"Not a clue," Xana replied cheerily, not missing a beat.

A soft beeping sounded from the cockpit, and Carth immediately got up to attend to it. "Looks like we're going to be coming out of hyperspace," he announced as he disappeared into the hallway. Talon stood as well, rushing toward the cockpit with Xana following in his wake.

He dove into his seat just in time, his fingers dancing over the display screens even before he was fully settled. "Everything looks good," he said. "All right, bring her into port." Carth nodded, checking to make sure Xana was holding onto the back of Talon's seat, and pulled the hyperspace lever to his left. The stars outside slowed and thinned, eventually giving way to an ominous, grayish-brown planet.

Xana surveyed the planet curiously, her eyes never leaving the barren surface even as she hopped up onto the central console. Propping her feet on Talon's armrest, she reached behind her and activated the comm system. "Ladies, gentlemen, and quirky utility droid," she announced, grinning as she heard T3 warble in the common room. "We have now arrived at scenic Korriban, home of the Sith Academy, Valley of the Dark Lords, and Korriban Fried Shyracks. We hope you've had a pleasant flight, and please be careful of flying lightsabers and Sith lightning as you disembark. Have a nice day."

She hopped off the console then, sharing a smile with Talon as they heard muffled laughter waft over from the common room. If she could ensure nothing else, she at least wanted to leave her crew in happy spirits. Even Carth was shaking his head amusedly, unable to repress a grin.

"All right, snipertard," she said, sauntering toward the door with lightsaber in hand. "Let's do this."

* * *

The Ebon Hawk's loading ramp descended in a plume of smoke, hitting the floor of the docking bay with a resounding _clang_. Staff and civilians alike turned to stare as four figures strode forth from the cloud of exhaust, wearing completely black outfits and armed to the teeth.

Both Canderous and Mission had vibroblades strapped to their backs in an X-formation, though the Mandalorian also carried his massive repeating blaster as well. Talon was the more heavily armed of the group. He carried a heavily modified sniper rifle and a disruptor rifle on his back, while also casually holding his dual pistols at the ready. The three trailed behind Xana in a perfect triangular formation, letting her take the lead as was appropriate for their aliases.

All in all, she pulled off the 'high and mighty Sith' impression quite well. Her chin was held high, expression cold and calculating as she walked with graceful yet deliberate movements. The occasional bystander would stop to stare, but was quickly put back into place by a pointed glare from Xana. Even the docking official didn't bat an eyelash when she simply flipped a credit chip in his direction and kept walking.

_It's working_. Talon gave an imperceptible sigh of relief. _We might really be able to do this_-

"Hey, you! Jedi!" a voice sounded, making Xana bristle visibly. It came from a young, dark-haired man in a grey uniform – no doubt a student at the Academy. He was standing in front of three individuals who were crowded into a corner and looking rather terrified.

"What?" Xana snapped. Her stomach turned nervously; she _really_ didn't want to get involved in whatever was happening. The three strangers clearly needed help, though…perhaps there was a mutually beneficial solution here.

"These…_hopefuls_ will never comprehend what it means to be a _true_ Sith! I do believe a demonstration is in order," the apprentice sneered, interrupting her frantic musings. "Unfortunately, I can't seem to make up my mind as to what that shall be. So humor me, Jedi, shall I-"

Without warning, Xana charged forward and slammed the apprentice to the wall with a Force push. He struggled against the invisible hold, staring with mixed horror and surprise at the diminutive girl. Xana merely strolled forward, hand outstretched, as if she were taking a leisurely walk.

"Tell me," she drawled nonchalantly, tilting her head to the side. "If these hopefuls are as weak and insignificant as you say, then what do you have to gain by proving your dominance over them? This overdramatic…_spectacle_…only proves that you still have to vie with such individuals for what little status you have." She began to pace back and forth, smirking thoughtfully. "Even if this _was_ justifiable, a true Sith should know how to make a simple decision on his own…wouldn't you think?"

The apprentice stared back silently, unable to come up with a defense. Xana released him with a flick of her wrist and nodded toward the colony. "Get out of here," she said.

"I don't have to take orders from you, _Jedi_," the apprentice retorted.

Xana drew her red lightsaber and assumed an attack stance. "Do I _look_ like a Jedi to you?" she asked. She held her breath, hoping the bluff had worked…

The apprentice moved away with a glare. Once he was out of earshot, Talon whispered, "Be careful who you pick a fight with around here. Next time, we might not get off so easily."

"She can handle herself, kid," Canderous snapped. "Just concentrate on looking tough and staying quiet."

"Besides," Xana murmured as they entered the main office, "I think the worst is over. If we just keep a low profile, mind our own business, we should be-"

"Look what we have here; another fallen Jedi!" sneered a severe-looking, blond-haired girl. "Do you know who we are?"

Xana grit her teeth and facepalmed. "No, and I don't particularly care," she replied. This was not going well; she wouldn't last a day, much less get into the academy, if the whole colony was this hostile to newcomers. She quickly strode toward the exit, but didn't get far before the girl and her cronies blocked her.

"We are Sith," the girl continued obliviously. "And, in case you haven't noticed, the Sith rule here on Korriban. Quite literally, whether you live or die depends on us. What do you say to that?"

"Whoop-dee-freakin'-doo," Xana said dryly. "Look, I'm not trying to start anything. Just let me by and we can both get on with our lives."

"I don't think so, Jedi. It's time we showed you how things are run here," the girl replied, smirking and drawing her lightsaber. Her steely grey eyes locked onto Xana's companions and she gave a nod to her lackeys.

Said lackeys had barely taken a step before they found themselves flying across the room. Xana leapt forward and peppered her assailant with a flurry of lightning-fast strikes, practically dancing around the apprentice's clumsy blows. Behind her, Canderous and Talon pushed a protesting Mission behind them, forming a protective barrier as they opened fire.

Blocking both Xana's strikes and the blaster fire was too much for the apprentice. It wasn't long before Xana had her pinned to the wall with her right forearm, off-hand weapon still poised to strike.

"Don't mess with me," she said coldly. "And tell your friends as well."

She didn't notice the apprentice slowly reaching for a concealed blaster.

Suddenly, the firearm in question flew off her belt and hung suspended in midair - though it was not by Xana's doing. They heard the telltale _buzz_ of a stealth field disengaging, and an extra blade materialized in front of the startled apprentice.

"Uh-uh," Mission said, twirling the blaster around an azure finger. "I wouldn't do that if I were you."

The apprentice peeled away from the wall with her companions in tow, anger and defeat simmering in her eyes. "This isn't over," she spat, turning to storm down the corridor.

"Clever girl," Xana said with a smile, although it was unclear whether she was speaking to Mission or the retreating apprentice. Perhaps it was both.

She suddenly became aware of all the eyes – yellow, Sithly eyes – following their every move. The attention was unsettling as it was reassuring. True, it was good to have gained _some_ prestige; but it almost felt as if they could somehow see right through her farce, and were simply waiting for the right time to strike. Holding up under the unrelenting, collective gaze was like trying to stave off a bantha stampede with a thin pane of plasteel.

Spotting the familiar red-and-yellow Czerka logo down the corridor, Xana quickly shepherded her motley group into the shop's safe haven. Ironically enough, it was probably the only part of the colony that would have some semblance of law enforcement. Never had she been so relieved to see mounted turrets near the entryway of a shop.

Xana strode over to the counter and slapped a large credit chip down. "Give me your entire stock of medpacs," she ordered. Under her breath, she added, "From the looks of this place, we're definitely going to need 'em."

The shop owner snapped up the credit chip like a bird of prey, nearly prancing to the back room in his commission-induced glee. "Anything else?" he asked eagerly.

Xana contemplated for a moment, before furtively glancing around and sliding another credit chip toward him. "Actually, yeah," she murmured, leaning across the counter. "Can you give me any information on Dustil Onasi?"

"As an honest Czerka representative, I am not at liberty to disclose clients' personal-"

Xana sighed impatiently, then reached into her pocket and slid across a larger credit chip.

"He comes in here every once in a while to buy lightsaber upgrades and medpacs. Not often, though, as he often spends the majority of his time sparring. At least, that's what my customers say," the owner was quick to reply. He regarded Xana suspiciously, before adding, "If he's got a price on his head, you're going to have a hard time claiming it. He's the top duelist at the academy."

"Interesting," Xana drawled. "Thanks." She gave her surroundings another cursory glance before sliding another credit chip across the counter.

"What's this one for?" the shop owner asked confusedly, although he didn't hesitate to let the chip join its' predecessors.

"I don't know, actually," Xana shrugged. "Doing that just makes me feel awesome."

* * *

The next few weeks were spent in a constant state of vigilance; the mismatched group constantly migrating from the cantina to the lobby to the outpost in an endless gamble. It was idiotic to just roam around on the off-chance that they would conveniently run into Dustil, but there were no other options.

If they wanted the Star Map, they needed access to the academy. If they wanted access to the academy, they had to get Dustil's help. The Sith girl from Xana's earlier encounter had indeed spread the word about her, and Xana learned the hard way that apprentices were not particularly welcoming to prospective adversaries – especially far superior ones. Even Dustil might not be willing to aid them, but he was still their best chance.

This was a point that she argued morning after morning, constantly losing ground in the face of wasted time and depleting rations. Bastila was growing impatient, and Xana didn't know how much longer she could stall before the older Jedi superseded her position as leader and ordered them to move on.

Still…she would make every day count. Xana soaked up as much information as possible, whether it be from bribery, questioning passerby, or simply paying attention to hearsay. Talon, Mission, and Canderous continued to follow her patiently, doing whatever they could to contribute to Xana's clumsy reconnaissance.

It was the middle of the third week when their efforts finally paid off. Xana was lounging against the counter of the Czerka outpost, waiting for a crate of rations to be fetched from the back room. She was beginning to lose hope of ever finding Dustil – day after precious day wore on, each of the planet's revolutions raising the stakes just a little bit higher. She was caught between the impulse to just cut her losses and leave, and the intuition that if she stayed just a _little_ bit longer, she was bound to find him eventually.

It was a complicated decision. The longer she stayed on Korriban, the greater the loss in money and time if she gave up now. Then again - she was beginning to run low on credits, and she couldn't afford to spend all this time chasing after one teenage apprentice.

A pair of students walked in, and Xana halfheartedly attuned her ears to their conversation.

"C'mon, Algwinn, the cantina's got live music tonight!" one cajoled, slapping the other across the back. "They only hire out bands every – what, two months? Heard it's a pretty good one, too. Hell, even Onasi will be there, and you know how hard it is to get him out of that sparring room!"

Xana's eyes shot wide. She took her sweet time counting out the credits, desperately clinging to every word that was said.

"Well, I guess I could use a break," the other admitted.

"We're meeting up outside the academy just after dusk. Be there."

A tenacious smile made its way onto Xana's face as she levitated the crate over to her companions. "Lady and gentlemen, we are back in business," she whispered as they hefted up the rations. The display of servitude was mainly for show; Xana subtly levitated the plasteel container as they walked.

"So you meet up with him at the cantina. Then what?" Mission piped up.

"I really don't know," Xana sighed. "But I can tell you this; it took me a fragging long time to find Dustil Onasi, and he is _not_ getting away even if I have to drag him back to the Hawk by his Sithy grey collar."

* * *

Xana's blood-red lips curved into a smile, her smoky eyes narrowing amusedly as she stepped into a world of thrumming music and milling crowds. Dressed in a simple black tank top, skinny jeans, and dark red ballet flats, she fit right into the sea of partygoers all around her.

Some had arrived straight from their classes, not even bothering to change out of their uniforms, but most were dressed in civilian clothes. Although it helped Xana blend in, it also made it that much harder to pick out one person from the crowd. Most of the dimly-lit room just looked like a milling sea of grays and blacks, with the occasional splash of red or purple.

Xana really hoped Dustil hadn't planned on leaving early. It would take at least an hour, if not several _hours_, to find him in this mess.

_First things first_, she reminded herself. Locating an empty table in the corner of the room, she nodded to her companions, signaling them to sit down. They had all agreed that Talon, Canderous, and Mission would serve as backup if – and only if – things went utterly haywire. Otherwise, they would try to stay as inconspicuous as possible. After all, one lone girl was far less suspicious than a girl accompanied by three heavily-armed 'servants'.

Xana sauntered over to the bar, thinking it the best place to start. One seat was open – wedged between the leftmost corner and a thin, wiry man whose face was cast in shadow. _Maybe I'll catch a bit of luck and wind up meeting one of his friends or admirers_, she thought. After a moment, she just smirked and shook her head. _Nah – the universe never makes it that easy for me._

"Hey," she mumbled casually as she sat down, her eyes flicking up to regard the stranger. He was clad in a black dress shirt that matched the ebony of his hair, leaning on his forearms and staring down at the glowing counter.

"Hey," he replied with a noncommittal sigh. For the briefest of moments, he turned just enough so that Xana could get a good look at his face. She blanched in surprise.

The individual next to her was handsome in a rugged, roundabout sort of way. His sloping nose and thin mouth were offset by a strong, square jaw that looked all too familiar. If that wasn't enough to confirm her suspicions, the two locks deviating from his short, spiky hair were a dead giveaway.

This was Carth's son, all right.

Xana fidgeted in place, wondering exactly how she was going to start up a conversation with him. She didn't think he would respond too well to, '_Hey, your long-lost father is on my ship! Wanna join us on the light side?_' Her gaze darted around the room before settling on the stage behind them.

_Music! Everybody likes music!_

"So, uh, you like the band here?" she said as nonchalantly as possible. He gave a muffled 'eh' in response, sliding his glass around in lazy circles.

"How about you?" Dustil spoke up after a weighty silence. "Do you like it, I mean?"

Xana shrugged, "I usually listen to more intense music."

Dustil turned to look her in the eyes, "Yeah? Same here. It really helps me get in the zone before a sparring match."

"I know what you mean," Xana said over the rim of her glass, relieved to have hit it off so quickly. "Sometimes, when I train in my ship's cargo hold, I accidentally make something explode during the guitar solos." Meeting his puzzled gaze, she explained, "Force lightning."

The boy next to her nodded and mouthed a silent 'oh'. Xana's spirits sank a little as he became quiet once again. She was never that good at making small talk, but she needed to hold his attention long enough to make a connection. No one on Korriban would remember, much less help, some random stranger from the cantina.

A random stranger they actually _liked_, however, might stand a chance. At least she felt at ease talking to him; maybe she could keep going with the whole 'music' conversation.

"Hey, you know this song?" she asked.

"It's okay," he shrugged, though the light in his eyes betrayed the fact that he rather liked it. Fortunately, it was a song that Xana was actually familiar with.

"I am not afraid to keep on living, I am not afraid to walk this world alone," she sang along absentmindedly, nodding her head to the pulsing beat.

"Honey if you stay, I'll be forgiven. Nothing you can say can stop me going home," Dustil joined in softly. She looked at him in surprise, and an amused, toothy grin eventually made its' way onto his face. "You know, you're not so bad," he spoke up. "At least you're better than those power-hungry lemmings always looking to beat me in the sparring ring – or worse, my kriffing _fan club_. I'm surprised I don't remember you from the academy."

"The fact that I don't _go_ to the academy might have something to do with that," Xana said with mock thoughtfulness. "I'm still looking to get in, actually."

"Oh," he said flatly, his smile seeming to deflate. "You're just a hopeful."

"Don't insult me," Xana snapped, her eyes growing cold and stony. "I may want to get into the Academy, but you don't see me groveling at the feet of the students like it's my last shot in life. Fragging pathetic." She shook her head, albeit with a darkly amused smile. "Especially considering some of your competition in the sparring ring. I knocked two of your buddies flat on their backsides the very first day I was here."

Dustil blinked at her, astonishment evident on his face. Swiveling around in his seat, he turned to point at a couple glowering at them from across the room. Xana recognized them as the two apprentices she'd beaten. "Are you talking about Shaardan and Lashowe over there?" he asked.

Xana nodded, and he let out an impressed whistle. "Huh, so _you're_ the girl they've been talking about."

"What's that supposed to mean?" she demanded, quirking an eyebrow at him. "You sound really surprised."

"Lashowe said she was ugly," he explained, blushing a little. "And a Jedi deserter. You're obviously not either."

"Nope," Xana agreed, smirking. "Although, she really shouldn't be one to talk about looking ugly."

Dustil let out a silent laugh as he took a sip of his drink.

She held out a hand to him. "By the way – I'm Xana Dakari, rogue Force-user and smuggler extraordinaire."

"Dustil Onasi," he replied, taking her hand and shaking it. "Sith apprentice and reigning dueling champion of the Korriban Academy."

"That so? In that case, we should definitely go for a few rounds in the sparring ring," Xana said. "I've been told I'm pretty good with a lightsaber myself."

"I'd give you five minutes, tops," Dustil shrugged, though the teasing glint in his eyes took away the sting of his words.

"Funny," Xana smirked. "I would've said the same about you."

Dustil's reply was cut short by the music, which suddenly flared up as it transitioned to a faster, more hardcore song. "Hey, you wanna dance?" he asked, holding out his hand again.

Xana nodded, smiling as her boots hit the floor.

* * *

Talon sighed and brought a hand to his forehead, cursing the headache that the deafening music had brought on. Normally, such things weren't a problem for him – they couldn't be, not after all these months of being on the same ship as Xana – but after several hours, he had just about reached his breaking point.

His bleary gaze turned to Mission, who had her chin propped up in her hand and was looking just about ready to fall asleep. Next to her, Canderous was leaning back in his seat and staring out at the crowd with cold indifference. It was obvious that the Mandalorian was _not_ enjoying sentry duty, either.

All in all, the stakeout was not turning out to be very fun. It was impossible to keep track of Xana in the roiling crowd, half of which were milling around haphazardly and the other half regressing into a mess of dancing, fist-pumping, head-banging partygoers.

"Is _that_ him?" Mission asked for the umpteenth time, stifling a yawn as she pointed to a man in the crowd.

"For the last time, Mish, _I don't know_," Talon sighed.

"What about him?"

Talon let his forehead fall onto his folded arms. "Somebody shoot me," he muttered.

"I think I see them," Canderous spoke up gruffly. He pointed toward the rightmost end of the dance floor, where, illuminated by the last dregs of the counter's light, Xana was dancing with an apprentice.

They seemed to be having fun, jumping and headbanging to the beat of the music. He couldn't see Dustil's face, but Xana was clearly enjoying herself. Her face was transfixed in a smile as she soaked in the music, her lips only moving when she deemed it necessary to make another wisecrack.

For a single, irrational moment, Talon wished he was in the other boy's place. It wasn't just because of Xana, although that was a rather large part of it. Rather, it was the whole concept of Dustil actually _having_ a father who would do anything to find him again. All these people, all this effort; it was all geared toward reuniting his broken family. That was why they'd wasted valuable time trying to track him down, it was why they risked discovery by combing Dreshdae's streets every day, and it was why Xana had worked so hard, never making time for anyone or anything else. Somehow, it just stung of unfairness that they were all expending so much for one individual, while fate hadn't seen it fit to leave even _one_ person for Talon to be reunited with.

He quickly cleared his thoughts, berating himself for acting so childishly. Still, a part of him argued, at this point he'd probably _earned_ the right to be irrational.

Talon shook his head, disposing of the treacherous thoughts once and for all. Finding Dustil was crucial to the mission; it was as simple as that. He simply could _not_ allow his own problems to interfere with their plan.

The table rattled gently, causing Talon to tear his eyes away from the dance floor and seek out the source of the disturbance. Poor Mission had finally conked out, allowing her forehead to fall against the table's surface as she dozed. He looked over the sleeping form at Canderous, who simply crossed his arms and fixed Talon with an expression that said, 'Don't look at me, _you_ handle this.'

Talon sighed and gently shook the drowsy Twi'lek awake, countering her mumbled protests with many a promise that they'd be able to return to the Ebon Hawk soon. Looking back at the dance floor, he sighed again.

_If only_.

* * *

As much fun as this was, Xana simply couldn't shake the feeling that someone was watching her. She glanced in Talon's direction, her brow creasing in concern when she observed the rather irritated expression on his face. He seemed to catch himself, though, and sent her an obviously fake smile as he pointed to a nearly-sleeping Mission.

Xana quirked an eyebrow and checked her portable chronometer. Had they really been here _that_ long? She felt a momentary stab of guilt; her crewmembers were probably bored out of their minds, expecting to have left hours ago.

Seizing Dustil by the arm, she led him over to the entrance so that they could converse a little more clearly. "Look, this has been fun and all, but I've really got to go," she said. "Will I see you around anytime soon?"

"Actually, yeah, I'd really like to hang out again. So here," he said, removing a piece of jewelry from around his neck. He placed it into Xana's outstretched hand, whereupon she saw that it was a shiny teal-and-gold medallion with the words '_Korriban Academy for Sith'_ engraved on it. "You're going to need this to get into the Sith academy. Come back tomorrow morning and look for the purple Twi'lek in the back corner. Show this to her, and she'll admit you right away."

"Thanks," Xana burst out, her eyes wide with wonder at how easy this had all been.

"No problem," Dustil said as he headed toward the door. "Just remember to look me up once you get in. You still owe me a sparring match."

Xana grinned as she slipped the medallion over her head, giving her crewmembers a subtle thumbs-up behind her back. She could practically feel the waves of relief rolling over her in response.

_Mission accomplished._

* * *

Hours later, Xana was roaming the hallways outside her bunkroom. Her steps were airy and wide, and she was just enjoying the feel of the baggy sleep-pants swishing around her. She was tired, almost exhausted, but these were the only hours where she could have the ship to herself. So she roamed, occasionally fitting in an absentminded twirl amidst her purposely large, comical strides.

It was childish, but she didn't particularly care. They were on the right track again, and that was reason enough to throw off the shackles for a few hours. Not to mention – when was the last time she'd done anything just because she _wanted_ to?

She started when a clang sounded from the engine room, followed by a quiet curse. Her pseudo-ballet suddenly came to a halt as she silently tried to calm her pounding heart. Soft footfalls dissolved into the air as she tiptoed over to the doorway.

"Talon?" she asked softly, crossing her arms as she stepped into the mist of hyperdrive exhaust and white noise. "What are you doing up? It's late."

He looked up from the open panel and forgot the dropped hydrospanner, flicking his head to clear the chocolate-brown bangs out of his eyes. Xana always showed up at the oddest times, as if she can sense when one is deep in thought and ever-so-subtly wishing she was there to help make sense of it.

Oh, right. She wanted him to speak. "Same thing you are, I'm guessing," he replies. "I can't really sleep, so I'm just bumming around the ship until I get tired." Talon shrugged, and then hissed in pain as the movement disturbed his arm.

Xana's eyes flickered down to the ailing limb, and she saw a noticeable burn; he probably smacked the arm against an overheated hyperdrive component. She held out her hands to him and he took them, wincing as she pulled him to his feet.

"So," Xana said conversationally, gripping the wounded forearm with her left hand and Force-healing it with her right. "Looks like I'm now technically a Sith." Her eyes flicked to the medallion still resting around her neck; she didn't trust herself not to lose it in the abyss of clutter that was her bunkroom. "That's not going to a problem, is it?"

"Not unless your eyes turn yellow and you start going by 'Darth Xana'," he replied just as airily, the undertone of pain slowly fading away. He pulled away and flexed the healed limb, sighing in relief. "Thank you." His eyes flicked up at her for a moment, before he wordlessly turned around and resumed his work on the hyperdrive.

Xana stopped and looked at him – really _looked_ at him – and suddenly she missed him; the crazy banter they shared and the hours spent talking about nothing. Three weeks of reconnaissance, stress, and especially strict Jedi training – 'to counteract the effects of the planet', Bastila insisted – didn't leave much free time for either of them.

Still, she could read him like a book now; understand the jealousy and hurt in his eyes after tonight. They hadn't even had a quality conversation since the day they landed on Korriban. Then she goes and spends half the night dancing with some Sith kid they've never even met before.

A flicker of annoyance ignited, and was doused just as quickly. He didn't know; he can't see what she sees. She liked the kid well enough, yes, but everything about Dustil was too dark, too slick, too vague.

Too much like her.

She saw nothing of herself when she looked at Talon. True, he acted more like her with every passing hour – she recognized a stolen word here, a familiar mannerism there – but underneath it all, he was still quiet, gentle, subdued. He was the calm; she was the storm.

Xana settled down beside him, her feet tucked under her. He kept on working, handsome profile set in a look of stoic concentration as he continued his maintenance on the hyperdrive. A moment of indecision passed; she bit her lip anxiously.

Finally, she shifted to the side and rested her head against his arm; lightly, of course, so as not to impede his work. Talon stopped for a moment – Xana didn't need to look up in order to sense the surprise on his face – but resumed his work eventually. Her eyes followed the movement of his hands; so skilled and sure as he pushed aside clusters of wires, adjusted a piece of machinery, removed another, placed it somewhere else. His shoulders rose and fell with each breath, making her head bob gently.

Xana yawned and closed her eyes for a few seconds, deciding that it was fun to watch him work.

She heard the sound of a panel swinging shut and a hydrospanner being set on the floor. An arm settled around her, and he spoke quietly, "You ought to go to bed, Thunder. First day of school tomorrow."

"Ugh, don't remind me," she groaned, lightly hitting her forehead against his shoulder. "I didn't like school when I was surrounded by other kids, and I _really_ didn't like it when I was surrounded by Jedi. I doubt I'll like it any more in an academy that has Sith coming out the wazoo."

"You'll survive," he joked, then mentally smacked himself for the poor choice of words. She didn't seem to notice, however. Instead, she rose with a sigh, leaving a void of empty air at his side.

"I _should_ probably go practice my dueling," she said, drifting toward the door with a wry expression on her face. "I'm planning to challenge Dustil to a sparring match tomorrow. Afterward, I'm gonna try and break the whole 'your long-lost father is on my ship' news to him. Gonna be fun." Not even waiting for an 'okay, goodnight', she turned and made her way down the hall. She can't waste more time, she rationalized, for tomorrow they were going to go back into the belly of the beast.

But tonight, somehow, she feels just a little bit safer.

* * *

**AN: Yes, at long last, I'm back! :D Sorry for the delay on this one; the transitional chapters are sooo much harder to write, not to mention I've just been 'winging it' since all I had for the interim between Manaan and the Academy was just a big fat BLANK. But the Korriban chappies, and everything from then on, are all planned out so it should be smooth sailing from here. **

**And let's not forget a thank you to writtenrhythm for beta reading this chapter (and talking me out of writing that entire engine room scene in the PRESENT TENSE...yes, I really did attempt that. XD) **

**Okay, next chapter Xana infiltrates the Sith Academy, breaks the 'your long lost father is on my ship' news to Dustil, and has to find a way to prove the Sith's evilness before he gets them all caught. And hey, you know me; there's no way ANY of that is going to go the way you expect! ;)**


	25. Close Call

Chapter 22 – Close Call

Soundtrack:

Duel – Live Free or Let Me Die (B-Side Album Version) by Skillet, Move by Thousand Foot Krutch

Not-so-happyReunion– Never Too Late by Three Days Grace

Getting proof…Ninja Style - Phenomenon by Thousand Foot Krutch

* * *

The two combatants circled each other, clouds of dust and tension alike doing nothing to break the intense gaze sparking between them. Grimy stone walls were lined with bystanders from corner to corner, filling the stuffy air with their raucous cheers. Tiny rivulets of light peeked in from vents beneath the stone floor, almost taunting the occupants of the dim, crowded dueling ring with the concept of sunlight and fresh air.

Dustil was the first to charge. He started with a classic diagonal strike, trying to gauge the strength and agility of his opponent. Xana batted it away almost instantly, nearly striking him across the stomach with her retaliation strike. She executed a series of twirls, during which her dual sabers struck in tandem with the steps of her feet. The result was a graceful whirlwind of light and dust, floating across the ancient floor in an almost ethereal fashion.

Struggling to block the constant barrage of strikes, Dustil began to analyze her combat style. Her footwork was too light, and her strikes came too quickly. She moved with grace and agility, true, but her style lacked the _substance_ that would allow her to defeat much stronger opponents.

He retaliated with a series of strong, precisely-aimed strikes meant to hammer away at the weak points in her technique. The effect was just as he had expected; she was eventually caught by surprise, trapped in the extremely awkward position of having to block a strike over her shoulder. Her thin arms were no match for his superior strength, and the locked sabers began drifting toward her back.

Xana disengaged at the last moment, twisting around rather clumsily and just managing to dance around the strike he'd aimed at her shoulder. He shot her a triumphant smirk, and she quirked an eyebrow in response.

_Is this really how you want to play it? _

He narrowed his eyes in a challenge. _Bring it on._

Xana twirled each saber in a smooth, but adrenaline-charged circular motion, as if they too were restless to resume the fight. With a fearsome war-cry, she charged forward, boots pounding against the stone floor as she made her attack run. She slashed at Dustil with a scissor motion, forcing the apprentice to jump out of the way and give up the offensive. Not wasting a single moment, she began to assail him with double-sided strikes – left, then right; high, then low – that slowly worked their way past his defenses. However, her strikes were once again focused on speed, instead of power, and he managed to break past a single swing.

She abandoned the attack, straining to bend backwards in the nick of time. Just as it felt her spine had reached its' breaking point, she opened her eyes to see a shaft of red light passing right over her nose, as if in slow motion. _Just a few more seconds_, she thought, struggling to remain perfectly still. In mere moments, his defense would be completely gone, and she could duck behind him and disable him with ease.

Already, her muscles were tensing as she prepared to swing back into the fight and end it with a single glorious stroke…

Her heart nearly stopped as she felt her feet being kicked out from under her. Before the surprise and dismay could even register in her mind, she was slammed flat onto her back, wincing as she impacted the solid stone floor. A plume of dust billowed up around her, choking her even as she tried to force air back into her winded lungs.

Laughing and jeers filled the room as Xana struggled to get back onto her feet. Her back was practically numb with pain from the impact, but there was no way that she could let it show. She glanced back at her companions, who were dutifully observing the match from a corner of the worry written all over her face, Canderous looked impassive as usual, and Talon…well, Talon pretty much looked like he wanted to strangle Dustil. Xana shot them a quick, subtle look of reassurance before turning back to the duel.

"Give up yet?" Dustil called.

"You wish," Xana shot back. "I'm just getting started!"

He shrugged nonchalantly and assumed a classic attack stance. "It's your funeral, babe."

"We'll see," Xana replied, taking her place at the end of the dueling ring. She took a different stance this time; feet distanced and knees bent, with one saber readied for his oncoming attack and the other in a backwards grip, already poised to strike.

Dustil let out a war-cry and charged, obviously expecting to win with brute strength once again. He was taken by surprise when she twisted her saber to the side, easily deflecting his strike, and he was hit full-on by one of the strongest Force pushes he'd ever seen. He skidded across the training room floor, knees bent and weight centered forward as his feet dredged up a steady stream of dust.

By the time he looked up, Xana was already right in front of him. She ran up and pushed him again without a moment's hesitation, slamming him into the central terminal dividing the two sparring areas. He barely had time to duck before her saber was sailing mere inches over his head. Thinking quickly, Dustil dropped to his knees and attempted to kick her feet out from under her again.

Xana was too quick this time. She jumped back and rolled, grinning smugly as she landed in a crouch. Before he could even try to figure out her next move, his world was suddenly lit up in a cacophony of blinding light and voltage. The torrent of Force lightning halted a moment later, followed by Xana's taunt, "Give up yet?"

Now this was just ridiculous. Dustil seethed as he slowly rose to his feet, singed and aching all over. His hand shot out, and he almost smiled at the look of confusion that came over his opponent's face. Xana dropped her stance and brought her hand to her mouth, coughing as she struggled to regain her breath. He took the window of opportunity and charged once again.

However, Xana managed to recover in time and brought both sabers back up. Dustil's attacks were blocked once more and, thoroughly irritated, he began to strike with fearsome speed and power. Refusing to be backed up and cornered, Xana dodged around the brutish flurry of strikes and twirled, switching to a backwards grip as she brought both sabers down like a pair of fangs. Dustil attempted to twirl and dodge as she had done, but was not nearly as nimble. He stumbled back, dodging the blow…but not the roundhouse kick that came afterward.

Another invisible grip formed around him, yanking him forward. He was promptly met with a knee to the stomach and an elbow striking across the back of his head. Finally, two small hands gripped the back of his collar and sent him tumbling onto the cold, hard floor.

Through the fog of pain and disorientation, he heard the thrum of a lightsaber; though it was much louder than it was supposed to be…

Dustil's eyes slowly fluttered open. Xana was standing above him with _three_ lightsabers poised to deliver the final blow; her purple saber held in her right hand and both of their red sabers clutched in her left.

He mentally smacked himself for not even noticing that Xana had seized his own weapon during the hand-to-hand combat. Now, he was lying on the floor like a hapless gizka, completely at the mercy of a smart-mouthed, happy-go-lucky _hopeful_.

For a few moments, all was silent in the dueling chamber. Everyone simply blinked and stared, unable to believe what had just transpired before their eyes.

Finally, Dustil let out a concessionary sigh and called out, "Fine, I give!" He tapped the floor of the dueling chamber three times to signal his surrender, and then slowly got up as Xana released him.

The crowd erupted into cheers, milling around frantically as Xana raised her lightsabers in triumph. Mission was right alongside the lot of them, whooping and clapping with excitement over her friend's hard-won victory. Even Canderous contributed his own subtle applause; it had been a good fight. Talon, playing the role of the dutiful servant, could only grin like an idiot as he went to usher Xana back to the sidelines.

_That's my girl_, he thought proudly as she shrugged a cloak over her black tank top.

Dustil sauntered up just as Xana was fastening her fingerless gloves. "Very nice fight, Dakari," he drawled. "Didn't know you had it in you."

Talon narrowed his eyes at the younger teen. Ever since Xana had introduced them this morning, he'd found Dustil's attitude to be slightly off-putting. But now, his irritation was definitely starting to manifest. Did even the kid's _compliments_ have to sound snotty and condescending?

Xana just shrugged it off and smirked, "Yeah, well, I think you'll find I'm full of surprises today."

"You _do_ realize I'm just going to keep challenging you to duels until I get my title back, right?" Dustil asked.

"You can try," Xana quipped.

Dustil just rolled his eyes, and, after donning his own cloak to cover his black t-shirt, turned to exit the room. Xana followed, keeping pace with him. "Hey, how about we hang out on my ship today?" she asked randomly.

"Yours is that new smuggling vessel, right?" Upon seeing her nod in affirmation, his face twisted into a thoughtful grimace. "I don't think so," he said. "I've got some philosophy homework – and sparring practice – that I need to catch up on."

"Just an hour, then," Xana persisted. "I swear, you'll thank me for it."

"Alright, fine," he snapped, already irritated at the embarrassing loss and at the end of his limited patience. "I'll walk to the docking bay with you after class…although I don't see what's on your ship that could be so kriffing important."

* * *

Unbelievable. Unbe-freaking-lievable.

First he had lost in a duel with a _hopeful_. Then, he had been cajoled by said hopeful into wasting his precious study time so he could go see her junk heap of a ship. And _then, _his long-lost 'father' happened to be on board said junk heap, and was now proceeding to crush the living daylights out of him with the galaxy's most unwanted bear hug.

The half of Dustil's face that _wasn't_ being smothered by the shoulder of Carth's jacket was currently arrayed in the most venomous glare Xana had ever seen.

Off to the sidelines, Xana andMissionlooked at each other quizzically. They had bolted for the swoop garage as soon as Carth had made his timed entrance. Talon, Canderous, and the rest of the crew had made themselves scarce, but the two girls preferred to watch from a distance, silently grinning in anticipation of the heart-warming reunion that they had worked for a month to see.

Xana had to admit, she was a tad bit disappointed with the initial reaction. They'd expected Dustil to look a little less…furious.

"I-I can't believe it's you; for _so_ many years I thought you had died on Telos. For me to find you after all this time…it…it's like a miracle!" Carth rejoiced tearfully, holding his son out at arm's length so he could get a better look at him.

When he saw the expression on Dustil's face, however, his brow furrowed in confusion. "What's the matter, son? Aren't you happy that we can be a family again?"

"Oh, 'family', that's a good one," Dustil snapped. He stepped away from Carth, adopting an expression of mock happiness and raising his arms in a melodramatic fashion. "Hey everybody, look! It's Father, come to rescue me at long last!"

Carth looked like he'd just been slapped; his expression belied a colorful combination of bewilderment, helplessness, and a little bit of panicked nausea. "But…but I don't-" he trailed off weakly.

Dustil cut him off, "What, you expected me to be _happy_ to see you again? Even after you abandoned me and Mom on Telos? After all these years of having to fend for myself, with nobody but the Sith to look out for me?" The teenager's voice had gotten louder and louder with each word, and now he was practically roaring at the top of his lungs.

Carth seemed to snap out of his shocked stupor, and retaliated just as fervently, "Dustil, I went away to fight the Sith so I could keep the Republic safe! So I could keep _you_ safe! I-I can't believe you would…this is just…" The soldier shook his head and abandoned the train of thought, stepping toward his son with desperation in his voice. "The Sith are _evil_, son! They're the ones who bombed our homeworld, and they're the ones who wanted to take you away from me!"

"Yeah, and they were also the only ones who would take me in when your precious _Republic_ never came through!" Dustil yelled. "Like it or not, the _Sith_ are my family now! This is where I belong!"

Suffice it to say that Xana and Mission's hopeful grins had all but deflated. The Twi'lek nudged her companion, disappointment and alarm pooling in her blue eyes, and whispered, "Xana, get out there and _do something!_"

Xana spared a quick glance at the other girl. "Now what could I _possibly_ do to fix this, Mish?" she whispered impatiently.

"A lot more than I could! You're the one with the lightsaber, here!"Missionshot back.

"Yeah, but…oh frag." Xana's retort dissipated into thin air, as she turned back to the scene unfolding in the common room. Dustil was visibly seething with anger, and his hand was ever so slowly inching toward the hilt of his lightsaber. Carth, of course, was so focused on imploring his son to see reason that he didn't catch the slight movement.

Xana's eyes widened and she acted on a split-second impulse. "_Stop_!" she yelled, throwing out her hand and slamming the Sith apprentice against the wall. Her own sabers were activated and pointed toward him in a heartbeat.

"What are you doing?" Carth demanded angrily. "Put those down, Xana, I can handle this!"

"The hell you can!" Dustil retorted, glaring daggers at the both of them as he cradled his arm. "I'm done listening to the both of you. Word of advice – you better be far, _far_ away from this spaceport by the time I finish reporting this to Master Uthar, or else-"

"_Enough_," Xana repeated, stomping her foot in frustration and sending out an involuntary Force-push. The light shove was enough to make both men quiet down and look at the exasperated girl in front of them. "Carth, he's obviously too angry to listen right now, so will you let me try and talk to him?" The pilot relaxed fractionally, indicating his acquiescence, and Xana turned her attention to Dustil. "And _you_…I beat you pretty soundly in that dueling ring and I'm not afraid to do it again, so you better let me say my piece before you go storming back to the Academy."

"Or what?" Dustil challenged. "You'll lock me in the cargo hold?"

"If I have to," Xana replied matter-of-factly. The younger teen opened his mouth to make a retort, but apparently thought better of it, as he simply closed it again and settled for another venomous glare.

"Now," Xana breathed, relieved to have averted a disaster, "Dustil, it's obvious that your dad is trying to protect you by getting your angst-ridden arse off this planet, but for some reason, you won't comply because you're convinced that the Sith are somehow benevolent. What if we brought you proof that the Sith are evil? Would you come with us then?"

Dustil simply stared back at her for a few minutes, contemplating the choice she had just given him. Joining the Sith had always been just a contingency plan – one that he'd only agreed to for Selene's sake, he might add – and, deep down, he had always considered the possibility of leaving Korriban. Not that he would ever admit it to Xana or his father, though. "Fine," he replied at length, his eyes still narrowed in distrust. "If you can get me proof in forty-eight hours, I'll _consider_ it."

Xana managed to retain her composure, save for a single raised eyebrow. "You've _got_ to be kidding me," she deadpanned.

"Take it or leave it," Dustil shrugged. "If you can't get me the proof by then, don't expect a warning before half the Academy is kicking down your door." Xana shifted her weight from foot to foot, considering the offer, and Dustil rolled his eyes in impatience. "Better hurry, Dakari. They're going to notice that I'm missing soon."

"All right, you've got a deal," Xana finally gave in. After all, this was the _Sith_ they were talking about; how hard could it possibly be to prove that they were evil?

_To someone who's been desensitized to all their evildoing for the last four years…yeah, that might be an issue_, she reminded herself. Letting out a sigh through her nose, she glanced at the ceiling exasperatedly. _Why can't things ever be simple for once?_

* * *

"You're distracted," Bastila noted matter-of-factly, as she regarded the sullen pilot over her handful of pazaak cards.

Carth fixed her with an even gaze, fingering a card from his own deck and then laying it on the table. "Nothing gets by your Jedi senses, huh?"

"No, though that's not the _entire_ reason I was able to pick it up so quickly," she replied, her lips turning up in an amused smile, "I've actually _won_ the last four games, in case you haven't noticed." Her prim, elegant fingers singled out a card and placed it on the table; poise visibly saturating every movement even after countless rounds of the repetitive cantina game. "Make that five."

"Huh, I didn't notice," was the pilot's mumbled reply.

"Because you are distracted," the Jedi repeated, her usual tone of superiority carrying a mild tinge of playfulness this time.

"Really, Bastila, what would I ever do without your amazing powers of introspection?" Carth said, barely suppressing an eye-roll as he shuffled the pazaak deck yet again.

As the weeks had gone by, the simple game of cards had gradually worn away the walls of formality separating the two unlikely friends. There had been little to do outside their normal duties, with their respective protégés both gone, and so it hadn't been long before Bastila and Carth finally gave in to boredom and put Xana's old pazaak deck to good use. Inevitably, they managed to eke out a comfortable rapport amidst win-streaks, tactical plays, and mock-bets of ration bars. They established amusing little inside-jokes, and talked about everything from cooking to combat to childhood games.

Of course, the ebb and flow of easy conversation sometimes transitioned into more dangerous waters, as it was doing now. This time, however, there would be no guarded aversion, no subtle changing of topics; this was visibly eating away at Carth, and Bastila felt a strange responsibility to set their easy camaraderie in motion again.

"Carth, honestly, why do you insist on worrying yourself so?" she asked with a disapproving frown. "I should think it was obvious enough that the situation lies out of our hands; stressing yourself like this can't possibly help things, such as they are."

"What, you don't think I know that?" Carth shot back. "I can't _help_ it, Bastila! That is _my_ son out there; the future of _my_ family on the line, and where am I? I've just been sitting here playing pazaak for weeks, helpless to do anything about it, while a seventeen-year-old girl heads into a nest of Sith to solve my problems for me! How do you think that makes me feel?"

"I am well aware of how the situation makes you feel, but the fact still remains that we simply cannot do anything to change it!" Bastila insisted. "The best thing to do right now is simply to calm yourself. Xana is a capable and resourceful girl; she has handled the mission on Korriban quite well to this point, and I expect that this obstacle will be no different."

"It's not Xana that troubles me," Carth said, taking time to collect his thoughts as he busied himself with dealing out the cards. "It…it's just that…I'm a kriffing failure, okay? At protecting my family, at keeping the Republic safe, even at dealing with my own problems. I mean…what do I do with that?" He slid Bastila's cards across the table, eyes firmly refusing to meet her own.

"Nothing," she said simply. "I know I don't often let it show, but one of the most humbling lessons I've learned as a Jedi is that it's not always possible to protect things we care about. Failure is a part of human nature, and as painful as it may be sometimes, we must simply move forward and accept it." She gently removed the cards from his grasp and, after a moment of hesitation, placed her hand on top of his own in a sympathetic gesture. "Do you remember on Dantooine, when I mentioned that I had once…cared for a Knight very much?"

Carth nodded, and Bastila continued, "When he and I were both younglings, he was always, _always_ the one to protect me. I never once imagined that the day would come…when he would need me to protect him from himself. But when that day did come, and he chose to go to war rather than obey the Council…he stood his ground; so sure, so strong in his beliefs…and I backed away." He finally looked up then, surprised to behold her icy-blue eyes swimming in thoughtful regret. "Perhaps if I had acted differently, he would not have been lost in the Mandalorian Wars."

Her gaze strengthened then, as did her grip on his hand. "But he is lost to me, and I must accept that. You, on the other hand, still have a chance to make everything right. I suggest you appreciate that chance accordingly. Do not tarnish it with doubt, but rather celebrate it with hope."

The two lapsed into a comfortable silence, each both comforted and shocked by the degree to which they perceived the other's pain.

Bastila gazed down uncomfortably at the sight of her dainty, porcelain hand atop his rough, calloused one. A Jedi's role was that of a compassionate helper, true, and she was obligated to help this man however she could. Still, she had not wanted, nor intended, to reveal so much of her past in the process. Her former friendship with Alek was a treacherous subject; one that she had never discussed with anyone until now. So why had she chosen to discuss it with him?

Much as she tried, she could not think of a single answer.

"Well," she breathed, withdrawing her hand with a forcedly cheerful smile, "I do believe it is high time for me to retire. Perhaps a slight bit of meditation before bed shall do me some good." She turned on her heel, cursing herself for the bluntness of her departure.

"Bastila, wait," Carth called out softly.

She stopped in her tracks and turned ever-so-slightly. "Yes?" she asked.

"I, ah, just wanted to say thank you," he replied. "Nobody's ever really tried to help me through this stuff and, well…" Carth let the sentence trail off, reaching up to nervously run a hand through his hair.

"Not a problem. As they say, what are friends for?" Bastila replied smoothly. "Pleasant dreams, Carth."

Carth allowed himself the tiniest of smiles. "Goodnight, Bastila."

She was right; he supposed he could let Xana handle things for just a bit longer. In the meantime…he would just continue to hope.

* * *

A myriad of noises wafted through the academy's halls, bouncing off the grey stone and interlacing together to form an eerie, unsettling orchestra. Drops of condensation fell from the ceiling, tiny creatures scuttled around in dusty corners, the ever-present footfalls of the academy guards echoed constantly, and even an occasional scream reverberated through the halls from time to time.

All of these, and more, formed the quiet cacophony that kept Xana awake at night.

She stared at the ceiling in trepidation, shivering under the thin blanket that never kept her warm. Between that, the noises, and the rock-hard bunk beneath her…sleep was most definitely out of the question. There was nothing else to do but sit tight, wait for morning to come, and try not to imagine what was lurking in the shadows.

She curled into a ball, trying to warm herself with her own body heat. The academy was cold and drafty even in the middle of the day; at night it was just downright miserable. Xana had no idea how her crewmates could stand sleeping on the rudimentary benches that had been provided for her room. Even if they did have a good three-fourths of her allotted bedding, it was still nothing short of a miracle.

Xana rolled over to the edge of her bunk and peered over. The footlocker beside her – and all the extra clothing inside – beckoned tantalizingly. But, as luck would have it, Talon had chosen to drag his makeshift bunk right next to said footlocker. Xana bit her lip in consternation. By the looks of things, he had just managed to fall into a light sleep, and sleep didn't come easily around here. If she opened the locker, she would probably wake him up in the process.

She sighed and rolled onto her back, abandoning all hope of getting any rest that night. _Let him sleep_, she decided. _I owe him one anyway._

"Just open it. I'm not really sleeping anyway," he murmured, shifting his forearm so his wrist covered his eyes. _Well, so much for that_.

"Thanks," Xana whispered back, wincing at the grating _creaaaaak_ that sounded when she opened the ancient footlocker. She quickly withdrew a black sweatshirt and slipped it over her head. As she struggled to get her arms through the sleeves, she looked at Talon curiously. "What are you still doing up?"

Talon's chest rose and fell slowly, leaving Xana wondering if he had fallen asleep for real. At length, he did speak, but the hollowness in his tone chilled Xana even more than the cold and the terrifying noises combined.

"I just…got to thinking about Telos. My parents…my sister…what I could've done to save them," he said, cracking a wry smile. "You'd think I would learn not to dwell on it …but no." He lifted his arm then, opening an eye so he could look at Xana.

"Why are you thinking about that?" she asked confusedly.

"Why not?" he shrugged. "What happened at Telos really isn't something a person can walk away from. Sometimes you think about it because it brings you closure. Other times, you think about it because you can't help it. Then your mind starts to wander, reminding you of all the things you could've done differently; all the lives or memories or keepsakes you could've saved. But no matter what, it always leads to the same thing: no…kriffing…sleep."

"You can't blame yourself…you know that, right?" she reasoned. "You were thirteen then. There was nothing you could've done."

"Yeah, there was," he replied almost immediately.

"What do you mean?"

Talon sighed brokenly. "I'd left my sister in the house that day. Mom had told me to watch her for the afternoon, but she'd been getting annoying, so I just…locked the door behind me and went out to play in the fields for a few minutes. Turns out, the Sith chose those 'few minutes' to bombard my hometown." Talon shifted to the side, tilting his head up so he could meet her wide, shocked gaze. "I could've gone back for her, too. But I was stupid; I just stayed where I was, stomach-down in the grass, hundreds of yards away from town. I figured the house would stay standing.

"I was wrong."

"Why are you telling me this?" Xana breathed, completely taken aback by the suddenness of his confession. "Why now?"

"Because, Xana, it's this _place,_" Talon spat. "It's Dustil and Carth throwing away a perfectly good second chance. It's the fact that any other Telosian survivor would kill for that opportunity, and those two don't even _care_. And, above all, it's us being in mortal danger over something as stupid as _that_." He sat up then, resting his forearms on his knees as he stared distantly ahead. "None of it is right."

Xana rose silently, crossing the distance between them in a single step. She hesitated for a moment, her heart nervously skipping a beat as she looked down at his blank, emotionless face. Finally, though, she stooped down and wrapped her arms around his shoulders in an awkward hug; clinging to her broken friend as if the very gesture would protect him from the searing pain he felt.

She stepped away then, quickly scuttling back to the cold, unforgiving bunk that made her miss the warmth of the hug moments ago. Taking a deep breath, Xana collected her thoughts and whispered, "What happened at Telos might be over, but you and I can still give Carth his happy ending. I know that everything is really fragged up right now, but I need your help to set it right again. Can you do that?"

"Let me guess," he deadpanned. "You have no plan whatsoever for finding Dustil's proof."

"Not a one," Xana muttered, letting herself fall sideways into her pillow.

"What are we going to do?" Xana asked, looking into Talon's azure eyes from behind the rim of her pillow. "We are running out of time here, and I've got nothing."

"Okay, okay," he relented, sitting up on the stone bench that doubled as his makeshift bunk. "We'll think of something; we always do."

"If only it were that simple," she sighed, burying her face in the pillow again. Raising her head again to stare despondently at the wall, she continued, "I don't even know where to start looking for proof, much less how to get it."

Talon seemed to contemplate this for a moment. "Well…who's the most likely person to keep official records around here?"

"If I could make a guess, I'd say it was Master Uthar. Still, that's pretty much a dead end in itself, because every computer terminal in this academy – save for his own personal terminal – is restricted-access-only, and his quarters are guarded and sealed tight." Xana let her face plop back onto the pillow, dispelling a long breath into its' cold softness. She hated having to brainstorm in this place. Even with a sweatshirt on, Xana felt like the cold was simply soaking through the fabric and attacking her thin frame with as much tenacity as before. She tried to curl up tighter, silently cursing the archaic ventilation system.

A tiny little lightbulb suddenly clicked on in her head.

_The archaic ventilation system._

Xana shot up and scrambled out of bed, ignoring Talon's puzzled look as she began rummaging through her footlocker. Having found what she was looking for, she motioned Talon aside. He dutifully scooted aside so she could perch on the edge of his makeshift bunk.

Xana grinned as she powered on the datapad. Talon just groaned at the blinding light and moved to hide under his covers. "Perfect," she said, pointing to the screen. She had brought up a list of local-time chronometers, and apparently, it was now four in the morning in their time zone.

"Why?" he rasped, still attempting to block the light with his blankets. Xana just rolled her eyes and snatched the covers away in one fluid motion, eliciting a very irritated glare from him.

"_Because_," she said slowly, "This is around the same ungodly hour that all advanced Force-users get up and start meditating. Meaning, of course, that Uthar's quarters are _empty_. However, it's also highly convenient for us, because there aren't as many guards patrolling at four in the morning, and I can guarantee you that the current ones are probably dead on their feet."

"I still don't follow," he muttered, curling into a ball of cold, unhappy soldier.

"You will," Xana said flippantly. Moving off the bunk, she laid stomach-down on the floor and peered down the open shaft that encircled the room. "Mmhmm, just as I thought."

He tilted his head to the side, not quite understanding what she was up to. "What are you-"

"Shh!" She held up a finger to silence him, then used the same hand to motion him forward.

Reluctantly, Talon left the once-warm sanctuary of his bench and settled down next to Xana. He almost hissed as the cold floor made contact with his belly, but stifled the reaction, as Xana seemed to be faring just fine. He hooked his fingers across the vent's opening and looked down, just as she seemed to be doing.

The ventilation system, which served the double purpose of circulating both light and air to the entire academy, looked dangerous at best. For about twenty feet down, there was nothing but a straight drop lined by solid, unforgiving stone. Then, at the very bottom, the walls sloped together to meet at a very narrow opening, where rivulets of light and a distinctly frigid current emanated from some sort of underground source.

"You're not thinking of actually _going_ down there, are you?" he asked incredulously.

"Yep," she drawled, popping the 'p' at the end of the word. "But before I can do that, you're going to have to do a bit of recon."

"Why do I feel that I'm not going to like what I'm about to hear?" he sighed.

Xana rolled her eyes, "Oh, shush. All you have to do is sneak down the hall and peer into the central chamber to see if Uthar is meditating."

"Aaaaand I was right," Talon deadpanned. "Seriously, what am I supposed to do about the guards? Or worse, what if Uthar just – oh, I don't know – happens to look up and see a 'slave' watching him from the dorm hallways at four in the morning?"

Xana opened the footlocker once more and pulled out a canteen. "As far as anyone is concerned, you're just fetching me a drink of water from the mess hall. Nothing out of the ordinary for a 'slave', even one who just so _happens_ to steal a glance at Uthar as he walks by."

"You think of everything, don't you?" Talon asked dryly.

"Part of the job description, snipertard," Xana replied with a smile. "Although I can't really take credit for _everything_…a certain Republic soldier _did_ come up with this crazy, death-defying scheme I'm about to undertake, if you recall."

"Oh yes, I remember," Talon replied, playing along. "Do tell me more about this Republic soldier. I'll bet he's dashing, talented-"

Xana nodded, "Dashing, talented, _and about to go on his fragging recon mission_."

"Okay, fine!" Talon relented, taking the cantina from her hands and fixing her with an accusing glare. "But if I get killed with a lightsaber at any point, I'm never speaking to you again."

"Sounds fair," Xana teased. As he turned to go with an amused shake of the head, she called out quietly, "Just…be careful, okay?"

Talon stopped and gave her a reassuring smile. "Aren't I always?"

Xana sighed and sat on her bunk, watching him walk away. _Frag it, that boy is going to be the death of me one day_.

* * *

Meanwhile, Talon was already making his way down the main dormitory hall. He tried to stick close to the walls, so as to make himself as inconspicuous as possible, but the wary looks of the guards had him wondering if they could sense how fast his heart was beating. They probably could; this place was chock full of Force-sensitives, and it wouldn't be surprising if the guards were Force-sensitive too.

He tried to calm his mind and slow his breathing as he approached the central chamber. It was difficult enough to do recon in a building filled with people who could literally smell fear…but here was the master who orchestrated the whole thing. If he sensed Talon's apprehension…

No. He wouldn't allow himself to think of it.

Steeling his mind, Talon strode out into the central chamber, keeping his footsteps quiet yet purposeful as he approached the nearest corridor. As he passed by, he dared to sneak a momentary glance at the middle of the room. Just as they expected, the Sith's kneeling form was barely visible through the early-morning darkness and the eerie dust-smog that seemed to permeate his meditating grounds.

Talon let out a breath as he sneaked into the kitchens and turned on the water-tap. _So far, so good_, he thought, purposely trying to keep his mind from imagining the very real possibility that Uthar would appear right behind him when he turned around.

He _really_ didn't want to go back out there, but Xana was counting on him, and he would have to cross that expanse of cold stone and unadulterated dark-sidedness sooner or later. As he walked and attempted to busy his mind with contemplation, the irony of their roles was not lost on him. He was supposed to be here to protect her, but he really only felt safe when he was in her company. After all, what could he do against even one Sith apprentice, much less an entire horde of them?

The thought almost caused a rush of fear to spike in his mind, but he caught it just in time. Even so, he couldn't help but feel relieved when he finally turned down the hallway that led to Xana's quarters.

Xana had obviously taken advantage of the momentary privacy to change into a pair of black skinny jeans and put on a stealth generator. She had been putting on her boots just as he turned the corner, and she immediately looked up at Talon when he entered the room.

"You're all clear," he said.

"Guess it's go-time, then," she murmured. "Stay next to the vent and be ready to haul me up when I come back, okay?" Xana looked very reluctant all of a sudden. Talon couldn't blame her. She was breaking into a Sith lord's quarters, after all, and they had no idea what the scope of his power or sensory abilities was. He could potentially detect her presence and kill her right away, if she was careless enough.

The very thought sent chills down his spine, and it was obvious from the look on her face that she'd been thinking the exact same thing. "Hey," Talon said quietly, placing his hands on her shoulders and looking into her eyes. "You'll do fine, and I'll be right here when you get back. Just…please be careful?"

She just gave a pensive nod, and he gave her one last reassuring smile as he stepped away.

Xana took a deep breath and set her gaze firmly on the vent. It was now or never.

She took a running start and dropped down the mouth of the vent in one fluid motion. With only nanoseconds to spare before her legs impacted the brutal stone slope at the bottom, she activated her lightsabers and plunged them into the walls to slow her descent. Two long, nasty-looking scorch marks followed in her wake, but hopefully, she would be long-gone before anyone noticed them.

Xana arrived at the bottom of the vent with only the gentlest of nudges, her feet unceremoniously sliding on the steep slope as she tried to steady herself. Deactivating her lightsabers, she very carefully bent down to inspect the opening along the base of the vent. It was barely large enough for a human to squeeze through, but Xana could probably manage it.

Beyond the opening was a large, sprawling room that seemed to span the dormitory's length. It was dominated by archaic, barred ventilation shafts and wide light-panels set into the floor. Narrow stone pathways snaked between these light panels; no doubt, so maintenance personnel could repair the light sources and ventilation system when they broke down.

She looked up when she heard Talon walk over to the vent's edge. Meeting his worried gaze with a smile and thumbs-up, she gestured toward the maintenance room. He nodded in response, and his figure withdrew back to the safety of her quarters.

Xana held her breath and wriggled through the vent's opening, silently praying that there wasn't some type of nasty vermin waiting inside the maintenance chamber. She barely managed to contain a shout of surprise when she finally tumbled to the floor in an ungraceful heap. Luckily, there were no mutant, Sith-like rodents or insects waiting to ambush her; the chamber was completely bare, if not incredibly creepy.

Here, she would have to be careful. If she cast a shadow or made a noise, it would most likely project to the nearest room and alert somebody to her presence. Pulling the datapad from the pocket of her sweatshirt, she powered it on and accessed a map of the academy. She then proceeded down the stone catwalk silently but quickly, the soles of her boots making only the slightest of noises.

Two rights and a quick left soon led her to a dead end. The room ahead, however, was more spacious than the students' quarters, and Xana's map indicated that the locked maintenance gate in front of her was directly underneath a much larger door. This _had_ to be it.

The 'gate' in front of her was really a heavily-secured durasteel door, obviously added in the later centuries of the academy's existence. Xana couldn't help but feel her stomach sink with anxiety. Even after studying the art of bypassing security underMission's experienced tutelage, her skills were average at best. Still, this had to be done.

She fished a security spike from her pocket, suddenly glad that she'd had the foresight to anticipate something like this, and got to work on the door's panel. It took a few tries, and a lot of conscious effort to keep her tampering from alerting the guards directly above her head, but she finally broke the lock. Carefully, she dug her fingers into the gap between the durasteel plates and pushed one end aside. It wouldn't do to palm the door open; the resulting _swoosh_ would be just as bad as setting off an intruder alarm.

Once she was directly underneath Uthar's quarters, Xana held her breath and listened. Not a sound emanated from the room above.

Taking this as her cue to move, Xana jumped and hooked a leg over the maintenance opening. Silently cursing whatever 'brilliant' architect had made the gap so small, she nonetheless managed to squeeze through and roll out into the vent.

Xana scowled as she eyed the ascent in front of her. There was no way she would be able to make the climb with just her bare hands and feet; the walls were made completely out of smooth stone. So, there was only one alternative.

Her heart started to hammer as she gripped her lightsaber hilts once more. The sound of the blades activating echoed like thunder in the hollow chamber, and Xana hoped beyond hope that the guards had not heard it. If they _had_, however – and Xana had no idea to tell whether or not this was true – she needed to be quick about getting the information.

Failure was _not _an option here. She would either get Dustil's proof, or die trying.

Xana jammed her purple blade into the wall and jumped up, sinking her red saber into the stone just a little bit higher. She scaled the wall in this manner, using her lightsabers like ice-picks as she ascended higher and higher. Her thin arms pulsed with pain from supporting her entire weight, and the pads of her fingers grew red and angry from the intense pressure, but Xana pushed on stubbornly, refusing to loosen her grip for a second. It seemed like an eternity before she was able to get her arms up onto the edge of Uthar's floor and hoist herself up.

She rolled over on the grungy stone and stared up at the ceiling, her limbs feeling numb from the climb. The earlier duel with Dustil had already taken its toll on her not-so-impressive musculature, and she was not doing her body any favors by taking on impromptu ninja-training in the same night.

_Suck it up and get moving, chica,_ she berated herself. Grudgingly rolling over and getting to her feet, Xana forced herself to stumble over to Uthar's terminal. Her fingers gently grazed the screen, causing the computer to whir to life and display the database's login screen. Xana synched her datapad with the terminal and got to work.

Using the tiny tablet, she quickly located the database, bypassed the security measures, and ran a search on Dustil. Columns of information ran down the datapad and terminal screens in tandem, Xana's eyes darting to and fro as she absorbed every line with a practiced concentration. Eventually, both machines finally displayed a short list of files: Dustil's student profile, some archived test scores, and, curiously, a number of personal journal entries with his name in them. Xana grinned and quickly copied the files to her datapad. _Mission__ accomplished._

Suddenly, a voice sounded from outside. "I'm telling you, sir, I heard a lightsaber in there!"

_Oh, frag._ Xana's eyes widened to the size of saucers and her heart leapt into her throat. She raced to desynchronize her datapad and power down the terminal, mentally ranting at the academy's slow, outdated technology. Uthar's footsteps could already be heard echoing down the dormitory hall…

Xana was out of time; she had to hide. Thinking quickly, she sprinted across the room and dove under the bed, activating her stealth generator as soon as she hit the floor. The stone door slid open with a foreboding sound, and Xana unconsciously scrunched up into a ball; trying to make herself more inconspicuous despite the fact that she was already invisible.

She could hear Uthar's footsteps clacking slowly, deliberately, across the stone floor. With all the mental strength she could muster, she tried to hide her presence in the Force, shutting her eyes and imagining a blanket of pure nothingness protecting her trembling form.

The footsteps stopped right in front of her hiding place, and her heart seemed to stop right along with them. Xana could practically feel the Sith lord's calculating eyes roving over the room; his mind scanning the area with practiced precision.

Xana huddled even tighter underneath the bunk's stone frame. Her heart was wildly beating with anticipation of her impending discovery. She knew what would occur next, and she knew it was not going to be pleasant. She would be captured and interrogated as a Republic spy, along with the rest of her crew, and the lot of them would likely die on this planet.

Mostly, though, Xana was afraid for her crew. Her heart ached to think of innocent littleMissionand sweet, caring Talon at the mercy of these ruthless monsters…Carth being sold out by his own son…Bastila and Juhani looking sadly at Xana like the failed protector she was…

Just as Xana was steeling herself for a pair of gray, ice-cold hands to reach under the bunk and drag her out from her hiding place, Uthar spoke up again.

"You incompetent fools, there is no one in this room!" he shouted, storming away to mete out his wrath to the unfortunate guards. Xana clamped her eyes shut as the sound of Force-lightning echoed through the hall. Even though she had used that very same ability countless times before, it chilled her to the core to know that she herself had almost been on the receiving end of it.

Five, then ten minutes, passed before Xana felt safe enough to crawl out from under the bunk. Wasting no time, she scrambled for the vent opening and levered herself over the edge. She couldn't risk activating her lightsabers again, so she would just have to free-fall and hope for the best.

Still, she didn't care. She just wanted to get as far away from Uthar's quarters as possible.

Steeling herself for the fall, Xana braced a foot against either side of the vent and let go. She slid down the smooth walls much too quickly and, unable to control her descent, she stumbled at the very bottom and twisted her right ankle as her left leg slipped through the maintenance opening. Xana hissed at the sudden spike of pain, but she forced herself to keep going. She didn't have any medpacs on her, but Talon certainly would, and right now all she truly wanted was to get back to him.

Xana maneuvered down into the maintenance chamber and dropped down onto the catwalk once again. Her mouth opened in a silent scream of pain as the impact jostled her ankle. She promptly reached over and attempted to do a Force-heal on the injured limb, but it was no use. The pain was disrupting her concentration too much, and all she succeeded in doing was numbing the pain ever-so-slightly.

It would have to do. Adrenaline began to fully numb the pain, and, as quietly as she could, Xana darted across the light panels and toward the end of the sub-level. The draft almost seemed to toy with her, sending rivulets of fear shooting up and down her spine. Every slight gust felt like cold fingers closing around her arms, the soft roar of the wind sounded eerily like the thrumming of a lightsaber, and the frigid drafts seemed to permeate her very being. With no small amount of effort, she forced the treacherous thoughts to the back of her mind, choosing instead to focus on the end of her perilous escapade. She gritted her teeth, leapt up into the dormitory vent, and sunk her lightsabers into the wall.

It didn't matter anymore if she was doing even more damage to her injured ankle. There was no way for Talon to come and get her, and she would not stay trapped in a vent like a wounded animal. So she scaled the wall little by little, ignoring the waves of pain washing over her and focusing on the calm respite at the end of this insane escapade.

Her strength finally gave out a few feet short of the top. There was just no way she could climb anymore; she was simply too tired and too hurt. She let out a strangled whisper, "Talon!"

The soldier, who had been watching the hallway for incoming guards, quickly rushed over to the vent. He got down on his stomach and offered a hand to her, which she gratefully grasped. With her free hand, Xana deactivated her lightsabers and clipped them back onto her belt. Then, she finally gave her other hand to Talon and let him haul her back up to ground-level.

She collapsed in his arms as soon as she was safely situated on the familiar stone floor. Before he had a chance to ask any questions, though, she gasped, "Never…again. I do not fragging care how cool those spy holovids are, I do not want to reenact one of them ever again. Now please get me a fragging medpac."

Still supporting the exhausted Jedi with one arm, Talon reached over to the footlocker and dug out a medpac. His brow furrowed in concern as he looked her over for any injuries. "You okay? They didn't catch you, did they?"

Xana shut her eyes and shook her head, "No, but Uthar almost did. It's okay, though…I got the information." With a trembling hand, she dug around in her pocket and produced the datapad. "That's what really matters, right?"

"No," Talon said quietly, taking the datapad and setting it on the floor. "No, it's not. You kriffing scared me half to death when you didn't come back after thirty minutes. I thought…" He trailed off awkwardly; she knew what he was going to say anyway. Remembering the hypospray in his hand, he held it up and asked, "Uh…where exactly are you hurt?"

"Ankle," she said simply, pointing at her right foot. "I had to free-fall down Uthar's vent, and I slipped when I hit that weird slope thingy at the bottom. Pretty lame, huh?" She scooted away and held out her foot, grimacing, "Just get that boot off and inject the hypospray real quick. It's gonna hurt like heck either way."

Talon tugged off the boot as gently as possible, though it still elicited a hiss of pain from the injured Jedi. He winced sympathetically once he saw the purple bruising around the ailing limb; she _had_ sprained it pretty badly.

A wave of righteous anger washed over him then – he simply couldn't abide the fact that Dustil had treated her so callously, even though she had been willing to go through so much to rescue him from the Sith. Quickly, he injected the hypospray into the wound, muttering, "I swear, when I get my hands on that ungrateful little Sith-spawn…"

"_Talon_," Xana cut in reprovingly. "Look, I know the kid's acting like an arse right now, but it was my decision to help him out like this. I'm willing to accept the consequences for my choices, and you need to respect that."

"I realize that!" Talon retorted, leaning back against the bunk's edge in an exasperated fashion. "I just can't comprehend _why_ you're putting up with all of this. I know you, Xana; well enough to know that you don't take this kind of crap from anyone. So, why?"

"Because I made a promise," she said quietly, taking off her other shoe and shifting so that she was sitting beside him. "And, I mean, I just wanted to do something right for once. This whole time, I've just been playing everything by ear; the heroics, the plans, the rescuing of innocent civvies..." She smiled reflectively, looking up at the boy beside her, "Maybe saving a broken-up teenage boy from the Sith is what I need to prove that I can really be a hero."

Talon just shook his head with an amused smile and drew her into a one-armed hug. "But you don't have to prove yourself…at least, not like this. You're already a hero to me, Mish, and just about everyone else on the Hawk; whether you mean to be or not."

Xana sighed and leaned her head back against his arm, using it as a pillow. "Some things you just have to prove to yourself," she replied quietly, closing her eyes. "One of the worst things about human nature is that you're always your own worst critic. But thanks anyway…it really means a lot to me, especially coming from you." Ordinarily, she would've winced at the blunt honesty she was regarding him with, but right now she was too _tired_, and she just wanted to put the world on hold and simply regard something, _anything_, with the brutal clarity of one who simply didn't have the strength to throw up barriers anymore.

"Anytime, Thunder," he yawned. Talon hadn't allowed himself to feel sleepy in days – the entire planet just kept him on edge, looking around every corner and shadow for hidden dangers. But for once, disaster had been averted and there was simply nothing more to do than wait until sunrise and brace himself for the next crisis to come. For the moment, he was safe and so was Xana; they would live to see another day, and given the circumstances, that was all he could really ask for.

The two fell into a comfortable silence then; one that seemed to settle gently over their worn nerves and soothe away their sleep-deprived anxiety. It was such a contrast to the constant chaos and danger surrounding them, that they couldn't help but just sit back and pretend time had stopped for a few moments. It was a welcome respite just to be able to sit with each other and listen to the academy slowly come alive around them. They managed a few short, stunted conversations about inane things like errands and holovids and shipboard gossip, but they usually fell silent after a few minutes – either because the silence seemed too precious to taint with such superficial talk, or because either one became too sleepy to remember where the conversation had been going in the first place.

Before they knew it, a half-hour had passed, and then another. Talon didn't even mind when his arm started to fall sleep; he simply shifted so it was settled more securely about her and retreated back to the peaceful twilight zone between sleep and wakefulness. Xana had been too drowsy to even notice the movement. By then, her breathing had long since slowed to a steady lull, and her eyes hadn't opened once since she had sat down next to him.

All too soon, the room began to brighten as the sun's piercing rays dawned and shone through the chinks in the stone wall. Talon winced as the bright light fell onto his face, shifting to get out of the sunbeam and then recoiling from the neck pain that resulted. He received a swift but light punch to the chest for the movement, along with a grumbled, "Stop _moving_, snipertard."

Still squinting against the morning light, Talon looked down at the half-asleep Jedi sitting next to him. He must have also fallen asleep at some point, because Xana was now huddled in a ball; her knees and arms cradled against her torso as she rested her forehead on his shoulder. He almost considered just resting his head against the bunk's stone frame and going back to sleep, but a conveniently timed sun-glare reminded him that, one hour of sleep or no, a new day had begun and they needed to get moving.

Talon nudged his drowsy Jedi companion as gently as possible, not looking forward to the backlash that would follow. Even after a solid twelve hours of sleep, Xana Dakari came out of her slumber like a gundark emerging from hibernation. Her current reaction promised to be ten, if not a hundred, times worse.

Xana sat up unsteadily, running a hand over her face as she blinked the overwhelming tiredness away. Folding her arms on top of her knees and then burying her face in her sleeves, she muttered, "Ungh…somebody is going to have _hell_ to pay this morning."

Talon cringed as she turned her weary, bloodshot eyes to him. He wouldn't dare admit it out loud, but as adorable and harmless as she looked when she was asleep, she did _not_ wear mornings well. Not that he was one to judge; he was willing to bet that he looked identically run-down and haggard.

Xana stood up all of a sudden, motioning for him to do the same. Wearing a sinister smirk on her face, she said, "But before I drag through this day on caffa grounds and pure awesomeness alone…I'm going to need to do something first."

* * *

"Shall we?" Xana asked, looking over at Talon. The two were currently standing over Dustil's sleeping form and clutching identical pillows.

"You do the honors," Talon replied.

"Thank you, m'dear, I shall make the most of it," Xana said. Without further ado, she promptly raised the pillow over her head and brought it down on Dustil's face with all the strength she could muster. Talon stepped in then, sideswiping the Sith apprentice so hard that he actually tumbled out of bed in a mess of flailing limbs and blankets.

"Best idea ever," Talon said, exchanging a quick high-five with Xana.

Dustil scrambled up and scowled at the two older teenagers, his face crimson with fury. "What the hell do you two think you're doing?" he demanded.

"Keep your shorts on, you little angst-muffin," Xana snapped, rolling her eyes. She promptly dug a datapad out of her pocked and tossed it into Dustil's lap. "There's your fragging _proof_. And just so you know, I expect full 'I told you so' rights for the duration of your stay on my ship." With that, Xana and Talon promptly turned around and strode down the hallway.

Furrowing his eyebrows in confusion, Dustil picked up the datapad. He'd only issued the challenge to get Xana to leave him alone; he certainly hadn't expected her to actually succeed at getting some information.

Dustil scoffed at the very idea. In all truth, he reasoned, she'd probably just compiled a bunch of Republic propaganda from the HoloNet and copied it to the datapad. He would just breeze through her poor excuse for an argument and turn the lot of them in as soon as sunrise came…

With a self-assured smirk, he climbed back up on the bunk and powered on the datapad. As soon as his eyes fell on the words, however, his smug grin promptly fell and was replaced by a look of grave concern. "How did she-" he muttered to himself, almost not believing that she had really gotten a hold of Uthar's personal journal. But the file source was legitimate, and anyway, it didn't matter. _Selene's _name was on this document, and he had to find out what it contained.

As he read on, his concerned expression faded to a blank stare, and then transitioned into a look of complete, unadulterated horror. He scrolled back up and read the journal over again, just to make sure the information before his eyes was truly real. Eventually, he simply let the datapad fall from his fingers and clatter to the floor, too shocked and ashamed to do anything else.

He let himself fall back onto his empty bunk, staring at the ceiling as the amber rays of sunrise began to dance in ironically cheery patterns on the academy's ancient walls. In the distance, he could hear students beginning to move about and prepare for the day. Still, he couldn't even bear to make himself move, much less get out of bed.

Xana had been right. The Sith had merely been playing him all along.

He needed to get out of here.

* * *

**AN: Hey, well, I'm back! :D Sorry for the obscenely long wait, but it only makes sense that I make up for my longest hiatus ever with my longest chapter ever, right? This one JUST WOULDN'T QUIT until it hit 22 pages (gah...), and between school, work-related stuff, and holidays, you can probably see how this would be such a beast to write...**

**BUT ANYWAY, thank you to writtenrhythm for beta reading this mega-chapter almost overnight! Totally made my day to see that file sitting in my inbox that one morning. :D**

**So now that we've got the intros and fluff all out of the way, it's time for me to write the tomb-raider chapter and introduce our little angst-muffin to everybody's favorite blue Twi'lek! Say it with me now: YAAAAAAAAY! I've been waiting to get to this part forever, Dustil and Mission are great in stories together, so I don't know why there is a distinct lack of fics with them both in it. **

**Anywho, please leave a review; tell me what you think of the little ninja-like spin I put on Dustil's sidequest (sweet fracknuggets, that was so fun to write), how the pairings are coming along, ideas for what you'd like to see in future chapters, et cetera. Thanks! :)**


	26. Not All Sunshine and Gizkas

Chapter 23 – Not All Sunshine and Gizkas

Soundtrack:

Flashback (Destruction of Telos) - Hymn for the Missing by Red

Flashback (Refugee Camps) - The Ghost of You by My Chemical Romance

Flashback (Sith Academy) - My Immortal by Evanescence

A Not-So-Little Disagreement (Xana/Talon) - Ignorance (acoustic version) by Paramore

**A/N: Hey guys! Sorry I've been such a lazy turd with my writing, I've been trying NOT to be a lazy turd with things like school and art and extracurriculars - side effects include losing my writing mojo and not updating for an obscenely long time. Yes yes, you can form up a queue to maul me with cabbages later. :P But anyway, I'm back, and I've got a bunch of Dustil-centric literary goodness for you all. I was actually about to write the 'tomb-raiding' chapter, and then I listened to "Memories" by Panic! At the Disco and the lyrics just put this amazing flashback monologue into my head that I absolutely had to write down. So I dug deep into my stash of angst and depressing songs, and decided to fill in the blanks concerning Dustil and Selene's backstory. Enjoy!**

* * *

Footsteps clacked down the bustling corridor, resounding as hollow in his heart as they did in his ears. He weaved around fellow students; never breaking his pace, but never coming within a foot of them, either.

It was a necessity borne out of grief and distaste, rather than a misplaced sense of courtesy. They were mindless peons, really; preoccupied with their mundane displays of 'power' and yet so foolishly blinded as to what was going on within the academy's very walls.

He pointedly ignored the few greetings that were sent his way. After all, he was no longer part of this twisted camaraderie, so he would have nothing more to do with it.

Another set of footfalls came up right alongside his own, matching his stride step-for-step. The brash familiarity of the gesture left no doubt as to who his companion was. _Ah…my guardian angel, prompt as ever. _

Still no words passed between them as they turned down the dormitory hallway. There were too many curious ears here; all of them conditioned to catch the slightest mention of subterfuge or plotting. No, they would have to keep up appearances until they reached their one place of sanctuary.

They entered the crew's shared quarters just in time to see Talon and Canderous slam their pazaak cards down onto the bunk in frustration. Mission wrapped a forearm around a small pile of credits and ration bars, grinning smugly as she claimed her winnings.

"I'm telling you, this kid is cheating!" Canderous roared. "_Nobody_ wins twenty hands in a row unless they've got a skifter up their sleeve!"

Mission's smug grin melted into a look of indignation. "Hey! I'm not a-" she started to protest, but fell silent when the Mandalorian turned a glare on her that practically declared, 'Do _not_ mess with me, child.'

Talon ran his hands through his hair and tilted his head toward the ceiling, quite tired of listening to his companions' bickering. "She's wearing a t-shirt, Canderous, there's no fragging way she could be using a skifter…"

"Yeah, well…" the Mandalorian grumbled, "I still think she's cheating."

"Good afternoon, kiddies!" Xana declared brightly, announcing her and Dustil's presence.

"_I'm not a-_" Mission's protest was met with two scarily accurate imitations of Canderous' glare. The younger girl gave the two Force-users a disapproving look in return. "Oh, et tu, Xana? Alright, fine. Everybody just go and pick on the Twi'lek with the stealth generator! Just remember that what goes around, comes around."

"Please," Dustil scoffed. "If any of that superstition were true, I'd probably have been struck with a random bolt of lightning by now."

Next to him, Xana looked away guiltily and pretended to clear her throat.

"Alright, alright," she cut in. "Now let's get down to business; it's been several days already, and I'm starting to fall behind in Uthar's little 'admission test'. From what Dustil and I have gathered, it would appear that all the other hopefuls already have definitive plans for earning their prestige, and I've got nothing." She sat cross-legged at the head of the bunk, effectively messing up the others' pazaak game. "So...ideas?"

Dustil sat down between Mission and Talon, propping his mud-caked boots on the edge of the bunk. "Well, I got accepted after bringing back a couple artifacts from the Valley of the Dark Lords. I found one of them in the shyrack caves - although those are pretty much cleaned out by now, so it'd be a waste of time to look there."

"How'd you get the second one, then?" Mission asked.

"I fought another hopeful for it," he declared nonchalantly. "I'll leave it up to you to figure out the outcome of _that_."

Talon, equally disgusted by the Sith apprentice's lack of contrition and the mud-stains his shoes were leaving on Xana's blankets, promptly raised a combat boot and kicked Dustil's legs off their perch. Ignoring the scowl this elicited, he asked the younger teen, "So, do you think there are any artifacts left in the valley?"

"_No_...you see, all those archaeologists are just out there because of Korriban's _pleasant_ _climate_," Dustil replied sarcastically.

Xana snickered, "I like this kid already."

Mission piped up, "Does this mean we're going to be exploring all those old tombs for Sith artifacts?" At Xana's conciliatory shrug, she punched the air and exclaimed, "Sweet! It's been like, forever since we've done anything interesting."

"And what makes you think you're coming?" Dustil asked. "Fully-trained Sith have gone in there and died; if not from the hordes of tuk'ata, then from the traps. You'd last, what, a whole five minutes?"

Mission narrowed her eyes and retorted, "I can handle myself, thank you very much! 'Sides, you don't get to decide who goes or stays – Xana does, and she _always_ lets me go where I want."

Dustil looked at Xana in disbelief. "You can't seriously tell me that we're dragging _her_ with us into the Sith tombs! She'd just slow us down!"

"Yes, we _are_ taking her with us, and no, this is not up for debate_,"_ Xana said, glaring at Dustil. "Think of it as a great opportunity for everyone to get to know each other; it's like a-"

"If you say 'team-building exercise', I'm seriously going to have to re-evaluate my decision to go light-side," Dustil deadpanned. "Alright, but if Mission goes, _please_ tell me we'll at least have the Mandalorian watching our backs."

"Nah," Canderous shrugged, crossing his arms and leaning back in his chair. "Too many kriffing teenagers."

Xana raised an eyebrow, thoroughly surprised at the Mandalorian's decision. "Seriously? I thought you would've jumped at the chance to get out of this place for awhile."

"Hnh. Hunting for artifacts and playing diplomat with a bunch of whiny Sith-lings isn't really my thing, kiddo."

"If you say so," Xana replied. "Okay, so I guess it's settled then. You guys get suited up and ready your weapons; we'll start our little tomb-raiding spree in half an hour."

* * *

Dustil sat down on his bunk with a heavy sigh. As much as he pretended to resent the others, at least dealing with their inane drivel and prejudiced angst was a distraction from the burden that had seemed to settle on his shoulders. Here, by himself, there was nothing but bittersweet memories to keep him company.

Xana's datapad still lay atop his pillow. It was almost symbolic in a painfully ironic way; seeing as the contents of that innocuous little tablet never ceased to haunt his dreams. Even in his waking hours, the little piece of wiring and machinery - an object so insignificant yet so life-changing - was all he could think about.

Sometimes it was almost insulting; the degree to which Xana's companions mistrusted him. Couldn't they see that he could _never_ go back to the Sith, even if he'd wanted to?

Selene was all he'd had left. She had been the only thing in the galaxy that reminded him there _was_ a reality before Telos was destroyed; that things like happiness and love and carefree innocence had once existed in the life of Dustil Onasi. She was the only one who ever made him feel like everything was _okay_, that the galaxy wasn't spinning out of control like it was. She was everything that mattered and the only thing he ever cared about protecting.

Dustil ran his fingers along the datapad's metallic surface. _I miss you so much…_

* * *

_It was a sleepy spring day; the kind where a crisp, raw sort of warmth seemed to permeate the very air you breathed, settle down in your stomach, and gently warm you from the inside out. _

_Dustil breathed deep, closing his eyes halfway as the heat washed over him in soothing waves. He rocked back and forth, enjoying the simple motion of the playground swing and leaning his forehead against the blessedly warm chain keeping it upright._

_A pang of misery cut through the contented lull. He wanted to swing; wanted to feel the weightless thrill as he arced toward the sky, the spring air flying through his shock of ebony hair, the carefree elation that came with being a happy, normal kid just playing on a swing. _

_But nobody had ever taught him how to swing. _

_His dad had promised to teach him how. He remembered…it was on a birthday, so many years ago that the elder Onasi had likely forgotten his ill-kept oath by now. So Dustil, in his childish innocence, had repeatedly refused his mother's offers to teach him, claiming that his father would simply alight out of the sky one day to keep his promise._

_And here he was once again, on his twelfth birthday, waiting for yet another promise that would never be kept. Carth had commed them not an hour ago, saying that he wouldn't be able to make it home due to some crisis on the ship he was stationed on. Before he could even get to his insincere apologies and half-hearted "Happy birthday," Dustil had stormed out of the house and toward his own little place of refuge. _

She_ came up to him then, like a guardian angel. The bubbly, soft-spoken girl from his class; the one who was all happy smiles and blonde curls. The one who was always ready to offer a hand in friendship or a shoulder to cry on. Selene was the kind of girl who automatically brightened your day just by being there, and stuck by your side no matter what. _

_They often crossed paths on the playground behind the elementary school on the military base; and despite the young boy's reclusive and standoffish nature, she had gradually earned her role as his confidante and best friend. She was the only one – besides his mother, of course – who ever really understood Dustil's frustration with his father. As she sidled up to him, her smile gracefully transitioning into a sympathetic frown, he couldn't help but wonder if this was the reason he'd fled to the playground in the first place._

_"Are you okay?" she spoke softly._

_Dustil glared at her over the fist that was clutching the swing. "No."_

_ Tentatively, Selene stepped in front of him and offered a handful of cookies. "Want some? I came out here to eat these and listen to the birds… but you look like you need them more than I do."_

_They waited there, seemingly at a standstill; Dustil glaring daggers at her, and Selene still shyly holding out her little offering of friendship. Finally, his fist unfurled from around the durasteel chain and moved to accept the treats. She smiled happily and moved to sit on the swing beside him. They both knew that no matter how angry or upset Dustil was, he would never take it out on her. He simply couldn't._

_"Thanks," he muttered._

_"No problem," she replied. "Hey…you look really upset. Did your dad-"_

_"I don't want to talk about that core-slime right now, Selene. I…I just don't, okay?" he snapped. "Can we please just talk about something else?"_

_"Sure, I guess," Selene shrugged. She popped a cookie in her mouth and leaned back, thoughtfully inspecting the sky as she searched for a more lighthearted topic to discuss._

_Dustil shut his eyes and breathed out a sigh of relief as she began to talk about things like holovids and pranks and school gossip. He found the babble to be oddly soothing; as if he could really convince himself that the most pressing concerns in the galaxy consisted of who asked whom to the school dance, or what so-and-so was wearing last week, or the vid Selene saw on the HoloNet that he absolutely had to watch next time he came over… _

_They ended up talking, laughing, and playing for the majority of the afternoon; Selene even convinced him to play a game of make-believe like they did when they were younger. When he was with his dearest friend, he could simply just let go of all the anger and be a normal, carefree kid._

_No need to be strong for his mother._

_No need to be the model son for his father._

_He just needed to be himself, for Selene._

_Dustil sprinted across the verdant lawn, grinning as he chased his friend in circles. For the moment, all that existed was her infectious smile and peals of cascading, childish laughter ringing through the air. There was no broken family, no missed birthday, and certainly no crisis on his father's Republic warship._

_And then he saw the first Sith Interdictor dip into the upper atmosphere. The grey chassis seemed to loom far on the horizon, like a ghastly mirage that one only saw in their worst nightmares. Dustil stopped in his tracks and ran a hand over his eyes, trying to make sure he wasn't dreaming this._

No,_ he thought._ The Republic would never let the Sith get to us. Dad promised…

_One by one, more Sith Interdictors began to materialize closer to the military base. It was like an unstoppable, raging storm of grey durasteel, coming to block out the sun forevermore. Far away, he could already see bright-red raindrops pelting the nearest town, causing explosions and debris to blossom forth in a heart-stopping display of destruction. Dustil felt his heart sink down into his stomach. They were opening fire on civilian targets._

_"Selene…" he whispered, too distressed to find his voice anymore. He hadn't even noticed that she'd stopped running and moved to stand beside him, looking at the sky with an equally horror-struck expression. Dustil let out a shaky breath and struggled to remember how to speak; it seemed like he was trapped within himself, held in place by a shell of overwhelming fear and shock, and the only way he could break it was with the spoken word. He needed to break out, to run, to _survive.

_"Selene…" he choked out again, slightly louder this time. They couldn't just stand there; they'd be obliterated right out in the open. He needed to get home, to find his mom…_

_His mom. The one thing Carth ever expected of him; the one thing he never failed to tell his son when he left…was to look out for his mother and keep the house safe. His father wasn't coming back to protect them, and his mother had no idea where he was. That meant she would probably stay in the house, instead of finding shelter, and when the Sith came…_

_He couldn't bring himself to finish the thought._

_"SELENE!" he yelled, grabbing his equally shocked friend by the shoulders. She merely blinked and shook her head, as if coming out of a trance. "We can't just stay here, we have to get back to the apartments and find our moms. They'll know what to do. Okay?"_

_"Okay," she nodded. Hand-in-hand, the two friends ran down the walkway, hearts pounding in tandem with their feet as they raced toward the apartment complex. _

_The piercing keen of powering turbolasers began to ring through the air. He could hear them pelting the sidewalk, drifting ever-closer… _

_Faintly, Dustil heard himself scream, "Get down!", then he felt the muted _thud_ as he tackled Selene to the ground. His arm went around her frail form, and she tucked her head into his shoulder as the world began to erupt in flames around them. _

_Everything seemed to happen in slow motion. Vehicles exploded up and down the streets, durasteel structures were eviscerated in mere seconds, and chunks of ferrocrete rained down from the sky like hail. Smoke and chemicals permeated the air, just as his friend's panicked tears permeated the shoulder of his sweatshirt. He shielded her as best he could; wincing every time a chunk of debris hit him, but dying a little inside every time one managed to hit her. _

_He was going to die, keeping her alive. It would be worth it, though. The galaxy needed more people like her; selfless people that loved unconditionally, even though they hardly ever received a word of thanks. He was nothing like that, he realized; he'd never said thank you to his father for keeping the Republic safe, he'd never said thank you to his mother for making sure he was loved and protected…and he'd never said thank you to Selene for being such a longsuffering friend for all these years._

_If he could protect nothing else…at least he would protect her._

* * *

That was all he'd ever wanted to do, by joining the Sith. Protect her. Nothing more, nothing less.

His hand tightened on the flimsy datapad. Everybody who called him a traitor only did so because they hadn't seen the conditions in the refugee camps. They would never know how he held out until the very last second, trying to keep her alive despite the Republic's negligence.

The Republic rescue teams were forever running out of food, water, medicine – and it was rare for Dustil to procure enough rations for even one person, much less two. On top of that, the refugees were forever being ferried from planet to planet in an endless scramble to find enough food, housing, and work to accommodate a planet's worth of displaced people. Dustil and Selene could do nothing else but go along; the system was already overloaded with too many orphaned Telosian children to take on any more.

He had always kept her within arm's reach, for fear that the crowd would separate them and she would get lost in the fray. He would spend night after night watching her huddle under their lone survival blanket, all the while praying that his dad would swoop in and save them like he said he would do. For two years, they had struggled to live like this.

In the end, though, he'd had to take matters into his own hands.

* * *

_Dustil made his way through the maze of refugees, stepping over parcels and sleeping forms alike as he struggled to cross the overcrowded terminal. He clung to the pack of rations that he carried, much as other refugees clung to their own meager possessions as he walked by. This life was a thing of tragedy and necessity; the product of a slow but steady degradation into a constant struggle to survive. _

_He could feel the pitying gazes of travelers as they passed by. Telosian refugee groups were a common sight in transportation hubs, and easily identifiable from the simple, battered items they carried around. This particular group had been ferried around the Outer Rim and was currently waiting for transportation to Coruscant. It had been weeks – no, _months_ – since they'd made any progress. The Outer Rim transportation hubs had only been able to spare a few vessels a day, and with a planetful of people to transport, the waiting list was still thousands long._

_He finally made his way to her. Selene was curled up in the nook formed by a pillar and a divider; zealously guarding the space they had eked out as their own. Her eyes were shadowed, her hair was messy, and her figure was painfully thin. But, she was alive, and that was all that mattered. _

_"Here, you need to eat," he said, opening the ration pack and handing her the plasteel container of food inside._

_Her tired green eyes opened, and she shook her head weakly. "Only if you promise to have some first," she replied._

_Dustil sighed and sat down beside her. As was their routine, she settled back comfortably against his shoulder as he wrapped his arms around her. Selene let out a pained sigh; the sparse conditions were really starting to take their toll on her, and she was getting sicker and sicker by the day. _

_"I'm not having a bite of food until you're done, and no, I'm not going to budge on this," he said, pointedly ignoring the loud grumble his stomach gave in protest. He hadn't eaten a proper meal in days, and the resulting pain was starting to bother him…but she was physically worse-off than he was, and he couldn't let her die. He simply couldn't._

_Selene finally accepted the container of food. As she withdrew a ration bar and began to eat it, she looked up over her shoulder at him. "We can't keep living like this," she said around the bland mouthful of food. With her free hand, she reached into their shared duffel bag and withdrew a white pamphlet._

_He recognized it from one of the Sith recruiting stations they'd passed on their daily walks through the terminal. "Not this again," Dustil said with a roll of his eyes. "The Republic might be doing a pretty kriffed-up job of handling the refugees, but that's no reason for us to turn around and join the Sith! In case you've forgotten, it's their fault we're even here in the first place!" _

_"Dustil, will you look around us?" she burst out exasperatedly. "How many more months are we going to have to wait for 'emergency' passage to Coruscant? And when we get there, what do you expect? To be sent off to a fancy, Republic-funded boarding school? That we both get adopted by nice, wealthy families who conveniently live within visiting distance from each other?_

_"Will you get your head out of the kriffing clouds and stop dreaming? This, Dustil, is our reality now," she continued to rant. "If we're ever going to make something out of our lives…and stay together no matter what…then this is our only ticket out. This isn't about choosing sides anymore; this is about survival."_

_"Okay, okay," he conceded, holding his hands up in a placating gesture. "Can we at least stop and think about this for a bit? I mean, we're talking about joining the _Sith_ here!"_

_Selene shook her head, "I'm tired of waiting. All we've been doing for two years…is just _waiting_. While you want to just sit here and hold out hope that your dad's going to magically appear out of nowhere to rescue us…time is moving forward and it's leaving us in the dust." She wrenched his arms away and stood up on shaky legs._

_Her eyes were steely and cold, and her posture was rigid. It was the stance of someone who knew that they were fighting a losing battle, but refused to acknowledge the odds. Everything about her – from the furious edge in her voice to the tired slump in her shoulders – told him that she would not accept defeat; that she was determined to go down kicking and fighting for whatever spark of life she still possessed. "I'm joining the Sith, Dustil, with or without you," she declared coldly. "Make your choice."_

_Dustil leapt to his feet and stood in front of her. His gaze bored into her own unflinching stare, as he silently tried to will common sense into his best friend's mind. If only she would acknowledge how sick and tired she really was; if only she could see how she was tottering on the brink, both physically and emotionally. She had to know that she couldn't realistically expect to survive if she left. People like them – people who were weakened by hunger, burdened by grief, disadvantaged by a lack of knowledge and skill – simply didn't last very long on Korriban. He told her as much._

_"Are you crazy?" he burst out. "Look at us! We've got no money for weapons or medicine, and you're so starved that you can barely stand! Those Sith will tear you apart if you go alone!"_

_"I don't care," Selene replied, her voice husky with emotion. "Anything is better than this."_

_"Stop! Please just…stop and think about this, alright?" Dustil implored her. _

_"I told you, Dustil, I'm done thinking this over!" she retorted. "I'll admit there is a possibility that I may die if I join the Sith. So what? If you're there to watch my back, I _know_ we're going to be okay. But if you aren't, and I die anyway…well, it's not like we'll ever see or hear from each other again if we split up now, so I guess it won't be your problem anymore."_

_The older teen ran a hand over his face and let out a defeated sigh. "All right…you win. We can't split up if we're ever going to survive this together. Tonight we'll pack up our stuff, and by the time the Sith recruiting office opens tomorrow morning, we'll be ready to sign up."_

_Selene sat down next to him, looking at him with a mixture of relief and affection. "You do realize I just want what's best for the both of us, right? You're my best friend, Dustil – I wouldn't suggest that you do anything unless I'm totally sure that it is the best possible decision."_

_Dustil replied, "I know, and I feel the same way…but really…"_

_"Shush," she said simply, drawing him into a hug. "Everything's going to be better from here on out. You and me; we're going to serve our time, find good careers with the Sith military, save up money, and go to Coruscant on our own terms. Things are going to turn out just fine, I promise."_

_He believed her._

* * *

And the Sith had taken her – just like that…like dust blown away in the wind – on naught but a cruel whim.

_Dustil tried to suppress the pang of irritation as she stormed into his quarters, raving in yet another hysterical fit. He had been reading the same paragraph in his datapad over and over again. Even though he knew he would ace the academy-wide tests scheduled for the next day - and therefore, he had little need to study - the distraction was extremely unwelcome._

_"I'm telling you, we made a mistake by coming here," she rattled, her heels tapping out a steady rhythm as she paced in front of him. "Everything that's been happening these last few weeks is evidence of that. Why won't you listen to me?"_

_"Because your first impression was right all along," he deadpanned. "Come on, Selene, you're just paranoid. I mean, look at how we're doing now! Top marks in all our classes, guaranteed positions as officers in the Sith militia…and they even discovered we were Force-sensitive!"_

_"Correction; they discovered _you_ were Force-sensitive," Selene retorted, crossing her arms. "Or at least, Force-sensitive enough."_

_Dustil looked up at her skeptically. "What's that supposed to mean? You passed the minimum requirements for Force-sensitivity."_

_"Yeah, but 'minimal' doesn't quite fly with the Sith. That's what I came here to tell you. I've been hearing things about how I'm 'not good enough' or 'not as valuable as that young Onasi apprentice' for a while now, and frankly…I'm starting to get scared."_

_Dustil sighed and stood up to hug her. "Don't be. Worst case scenario: they expel you. If that happens, you can just find a job in Dreshdae and I'll come to visit you on the weekends."_

_Selene pushed him away in frustration. "Stop being so nonchalant about this! You've been here long enough to know that the Sith don't just 'expel' people, they make an example out of them. The Sith don't tolerate failures, Dustil…and they consider me a failure." She continued pacing, her hands weaving through the air as she desperately tried to get her point across. "I've got to get out of here…please tell me you'll come along. I…I don't think I can do this without you."_

_"And what do you expect us to do?" he asked, equally frustrated. "How exactly are we going to run away? We don't have families, or money, or a plan. Besides, we're _here_ now. Even if you're barely getting by, I have a future with the Sith…I mean, can't we just tough it out for a few more years, and then I'll work to support the both of us?" Dustil stepped forward and placed his hands on her shoulders to make her stop pacing. "Face it, Selene. We're stuck here, and we have to make the best of it. Okay?"_

_"Yeah," she finally conceded, though her voice sounded disappointed and hollow. "It could be worse, I suppose." A sad smile made its way onto her face. "Master Uthar apparently saw it fit to give me another chance; he's sending me to explore the shyrack caves with a group of his most advanced students."_

_"That's great!" Dustil exulted. "See, I told you there was nothing to worry about! When do you leave?"_

_"First thing tomorrow morning, actually," she admitted. "I just wanted to stop by here before you went to sleep, so I could say goodbye. But then I heard some instructors talking about me in the hall, and…" She trailed off, fear creeping into her gaze yet again._

_"Shh," he interrupted, drawing her into a hug. "Don't listen to them. You said it yourself; Uthar is giving you another chance to prove yourself. That must mean you have potential, right?"_

_"I guess you're right," she admitted with a faraway smile. "Well…in that case, I'd better go back to my quarters and get some sleep."_

_"Okay," he said. "Goodnight…"_

_"Goodnight…and goodbye. I'll see you soon, yeah?"_

_"Yeah," Dustil replied, giving her a quick kiss on the cheek. He laughed lightly as she blushed crimson then scurried off down the hall. _

_She was the only thing in the entire galaxy that could still make him smile._

* * *

Reality ebbed and waned like an ocean tide, so lost was he in his memories. He turned to look at the rest of his quarters; trying to remember what he was supposed to be doing.

Xana had given him some light gauntlets, vambraces, and a chest-plate; all of which were resting in a neat pile atop his pillow. It was a gift that was practical as much as it was thoughtful – the sparse armor afforded crucial protection, but it was not bulky enough to restrict his movements in battle. At first, he had been mildly enamored with the new armor, though not enough to outwardly show any enthusiasm for it.

Now, the matte-black pieces of finely-crafted durasteel evoked a sick feeling in his stomach. They were too sharp a reminder of the mistakes he had made and the escape he was making far too late. Guilt cut through his nostalgic daze like a scythe, further deadening his senses to the point that the world seemed to swim in a transparent haze.

He didn't even notice the blue Twi'lek's presence until she was right in front of him.

Even then, he simply felt too numb to shoo her off; perhaps if he just stayed still enough, she would see that he was too lost in grief to go through with…anything.

Alas, it was not to be so.

Mission snapped her fingers in front of Dustil's face, her brow furrowing in confusion when he still remained unmoving. "Hey, uh, Dustil?" she asked tentatively. "Xana wanted me to let you know that she's ready to go now."

There was no response. The Sith apprentice's dark, almost black eyes were darting to and fro, as if he was searching out the ghost of a memory that had dissipated into nowhere. Mission reached out and jostled his shoulder. He shifted away slightly, but still didn't snap out of it.

This was _not_ good. On one hand, she was afraid to make further attempts at shaking him awake, for fear that he would come out of the daze with lightsabers a-blazing. On the other hand - Xana had sent her to retrieve Dustil, and she wouldn't be able to do that if he was inexplicably catatonic. There had to be a solution to this somewhere.

Mission decided to take the compassionate route. Surely, even he wouldn't be able to hate her for _that_. She sat down next to him and, after a moment of hesitation, lightly placed a hand on his back. "Um…are you sick or something?" she ventured to ask. "Cause if this is some freaky Force-sensitive thing, I can always get Xana to help you. Just, y'know, tell me what's wrong, okay?"

_Get away from me_, Dustil seethed silently. This kid was too empathetic and trusting for her own good; she was so much like Selene that he almost hated her for it. He was sinking deeper and deeper into his own subconscious; it felt like he would literally have to lash out at something…_anything…_to break free of the mire.

He was just about to snap when Xana finally walked into the room. "Hey angst-muffin, what's the hold-up?" she demanded, her hands on her hips. "You do realize it's nearly sunset, and exploring Sith tombs at night is generally _not_ a good idea."

The caustic statement was enough to clear away some of the fog. It wasn't enough to fully bring him back to reality, though, and he just looked at her with his deadened gaze; hoping that she was more perceptive than the Twi'lek who _still wouldn't get the kriff away from him…_

Dustil watched as she closed her eyes and began to reach out with her Force-senses. Relief washed over him when her eyes snapped open in realization, and she gently guided a very puzzled Mission away from his side. Much to his surprise, however, she then knelt in front of him; placing her hands on his shoulders and looking at him with an expression of heartfelt sympathy.

Xana shut her eyes and lightly rested her forehead against his, trying to mentally convey feelings of comfort and peace to her fellow Force-sensitive. Bastila had taught her the technique as a way to make diplomatic conversations flow easier, or soothe traumatized individuals. No doubt the older Padawan would be much more suited to the task at hand, but Xana supposed she had to practice sometime. It was like sending a digital transmission over a mental connection.

_Snap out of it, kid. It's okay; you're safe and among friends, _she told him.

As if from a distance, she heard Talon walk into the room and let out an incredulous, 'What the _frag?_' Somewhere in the back of her mind, she panicked a little; but she forced herself to maintain her concentration. Traumatized Sith, curious Twi'leks, and annoyed Republic soldiers never mixed well together; it was best to handle them one at a time.

She sensed Dustil returning to full consciousness, and she didn't spare a moment in drawing away from the dazed apprentice. Xana cared about her crew and would do what was necessary to safeguard their wellbeing…but that didn't mean she had to like being in close proximity to them. She pushed the awkward discomfort aside, choosing instead to try and meet Dustil's gaze. "Are you okay now?" she asked quietly.

Dustil nodded and roughly pushed her arms away. "Yeah," he replied gruffly.

"Look, if you're not feeling up to the whole tomb-exploring thing, then that's fine. We'll just-"

"No," he replied, running a hand over his face exhaustedly. "Just…just give me a minute, okay? Go ahead without me – I'll meet you at the Academy's back entrance."

"Wait, maybe Xana has a point," Talon cut in. "I mean, we don't really _need_ him to come with us, do we?" Mission and Dustil raised their eyebrows in unison, thoroughly surprised at the almost palpable venom in the soldier's tone. Xana simply facepalmed with a resounding _smack_; looking utterly mortified.

Suddenly, everything clicked, and Dustil almost sneered at the soldier's blind assumption. He'd thought it was rather obvious that he simply didn't think of Xana in that way. Physically, yes, she was beautiful, but she lacked the…spark; the resolute but infinitely bright soul that had set Selene apart so markedly.

Xana was not one to love unconditionally; she expressed love using her mind rather than her heart, and only when she deemed the person worthy of love. She was the kind of person who commanded loyalty from her companions, and only gave it once she had received it. In the short time he had known her, she had made it abundantly clear that if he purposely lashed out at her – if he dared step outside the boundaries _she_ defined – there would be no quiet moment of introspection and soul-searching and proffered friendship. She would put him back in his place without a moment's hesitation.

If she did care for Dustil at all, it was merely in a platonic, semi-protective sense that came with being a member of her crew. To Dustil, hers was the role of both leader and helper – _not_ love-interest.

Not that Talon had the Force sensitivity or advanced perception to understand that. It was evident enough by the displeased scowl he wore, and the incredulous glare Xana sent him in response.

Dustil smirked and turned to look at Xana, almost as if to say, _Really? You and soldier-boy here?_

Xana narrowed her eyes at him. _No. Shut up._

He merely shrugged, sending her a mischievous grin that indicated he didn't believe a word of it. _Whatever you say._

"Well, now that the excitement's all over, I think it's high-time we left," Xana announced with a forcedly cheery tone. She pointedly ignored Dustil's grin as she threw her arms around Mission and Talon, all but shoving them toward the doorway.

The moment they were out of earshot, she shepherded her two companions into a smaller, abandoned corridor and whirled around to face Talon. "_What was that back there?_" she whispered, barely loud enough to hear.

"I should be asking you the same question!" Talon whispered back. "I walk in there and you're...you're..." He trailed off, gesturing with his hands as he found himself unable to complete the sentence. "I mean - holy kriff, Xana, he's a _Sith_!"

"It wasn't like that," she gritted out angrily. "I was using a Jedi comfort-technique to get him to snap out of that daze. He was stuck in a sort of limbo between memory-induced Force visions and reality." It was something she had been quite familiar with as of late; especially as she progressed further and further through Revan's journal. She merely wanted to help the Sith apprentice because she understood the mental stress and emotional trauma of experiencing these visions. But of course, she couldn't explain all of this to Talon, since he didn't know about either the journal or the visions.

"Uh-huh," he replied petulantly, unable to meet her eyes. Maybe it was the planet, or maybe it was the fact that he – her best friend, of all people – suddenly found himself being replaced by some punk newcomer. He simply did not want to let go of the jealousy that gripped his heart. Rather, he coated it around himself like a security blanket, hoping to protect himself from the sudden aloneness that came with losing Xana's camaraderie.

Xana's eyes narrowed dangerously. She felt indignation and a nagging sense of betrayal well up within her. Did he really think she was so flighty and disreputable? Did he truly think she would just drop him for the first stranger that came along; even after all they'd been through together? She had done nothing to deserve this treatment from him, and she simply wouldn't accept it.

_I don't need this,_ she decided. It had been difficult enough to adjust to having the authority figures of Bastila and the Jedi Council suddenly looming over her. She didn't need anybody else assuming that they could control her or demand explanations from her; especially if they didn't even have the _right_. "You know what, I don't care if you believe me or not. I don't have to explain myself to you," she snapped. "You aren't even my boyfriend; what do you have to be jealous about?"

Talon flinched away as if she'd physically slapped him. "Fine," he spat, spinning on his heel and storming away. "Let's just go, then. I don't care _what_ you do anymore."

Xana grit her jaw and let out a slow breath, trying to calm herself down as she watched his retreating form. "I swear, that boy is going to drive me off the wall one of these days," she grumbled.

Mission looked back at Xana with a perturbed expression on her face. It had been freaky enough when she had found Dustil frozen and catatonic; now it seemed like everybody was going insane. Still...even though she was young, it didn't take long for her to step back and see what this planet did to everyone on it. Korriban brought out all the ugliness in people; their anger, their fears, their jealousy.

The Twi'lek looked up at her Jedi companion, frowning at the look of sheer irritation on the older girl's face. Xana and Talon usually tried to stay strong in her presence; to show her that the crew could stand together and provide a sense of permanence for her. But now they were splintering, and it was her turn to help. _But how,_ she wondered, her lekku twitching thoughtfully. _Well, for starters, Xana's not gonna forgive him if she's mad. And I don't want her falling to the dark side or nothin'. Talon...well, I'll deal with him in a bit. _

Mission quickly decided that a simple gesture of support was the best thing for now. Tentatively, she stepped forward and wrapped her arms around her friend, uncaring of any Sith that might be in the vicinity. The older girl started in surprise, but eventually uncoiled from her rigid, battle-ready posture and returned the sisterly embrace.

"At least I've still got you, huh?" Xana asked, patting the Twi'lek's head affectionately.

"Frag, yeah," Mission nodded. "That's rule number one, Xana. Sisters before misters."

Xana laughed as she finally let go of her friend. "Well, it's good to know I've still got _somebody_ on my side." She slung an arm around Mission's shoulders as the two resumed their walk down the corridor. "Now, how about we show these guys how treasure hunting is really done?" she asked.

* * *

The stone doorway parted down the middle and slid aside, letting a flood of light cascade into the academy's shadowy interior. Xana smiled as she stepped out into the arid ravine. It had seemed like forever since she'd felt the sun on her face and the real, natural ground beneath her feet. It was truly unfathomable that she'd only been confined within the dark, gloomy structure for a couple days.

The small group set out along the winding canyon; Dustil leading Xana ahead, and Mission and Talon taking up the rear. The Twi'lek, feeling that _someone_ should at least try to lighten the situation, absentmindedly traced the ravine walls with her curious gaze. Every so often, she would nudge the soldier beside her and utter a cheerful comment, trying to get his mind on something other than the two Force-sensitives in front of them. Talon was silent and brooding the first few times, but it didn't take long for him to crack. Nobody on the Ebon Hawk, not even Canderous, had ever been heartless enough to give the little blue Twi'lek the cold shoulder for long. So Talon gave in and humored her, drinking in the sight of the ancient Sith sculptures carved into the millenia-old rock.

Suddenly, a barrage of blinding sunlight opened up from behind a corner, bringing their observations to an end as they rushed to shield their eyes.

Xana stared in mixed awe and shock as a sprawling, barren valley opened up before them, stretching practically to the horizon. Archaeological dig-sites dotted the dusty landscape, and teams of Sith could be seen toiling away in the sienna-colored ground. The most impressive feature, however, was the group of massive structures carved right into the valley walls, towering hundreds of meters high and probably reaching much, much deeper into the ground.

Dustil nudged her and said, "Breathtaking, isn't it?"

Xana nodded slowly, her eyes round as asteroids.

"Oh frag, I think this is going to take a lot longer than I expected…"

* * *

**A/N: **

**FIRST AND FOREMOST - let me give some shout-outs to some very talented people who have seen it fit to include Xana or Talon in their artwork. Since posting the twenty-second chapter, I've gotten a bunch of art from my friends and readers on deviantART, and let me tell you, it was the most amazing thing ever as an author, to know that people love your characters that much. Thank you so much to ~phoenixwings, ~TheLastRefugee, and ~KalmaStari on dA for portraying Xana and/or Talon in your art, I really appreciate your work!**

**I've posted some links to the aforementioned art on my profile page, in case you want to check it out. (Please do, these guys did a really good job!)**** Or, you could just go to my dA page directly and visit the Fan Art folder in my favorites.**

**And of course, thank you to my lovely beta reader writtenrhythm, especially for pointing out all the flaws and OOC moments in this last chapter. It looks so much better now thanks to that feedback. :)**

**Okay, now onto the chapter commentary. Yes yes, I know what you're thinking - "you're having Xana and Talon fight _again?_ At this rate, they won't get together until they're practically on the Star Forge!" **

**HAVE PATIENCE, I SAY. The time for fluff and plot twists is at hand! Mwahahahaha! **

**But seriously, guys, the only reason I'm having them fight right now, is so that they can have one of those "Why are you jealous?" "Why do you care that I'm jealous?" sort of conversations, and then they can realize how much they mean to one another. All part of the plan, homie shizzles. :D And, since a lot of you have been wondering exactly when this dynamic duo is going to get together, I will give you an answer: yes, this latest development means that they will get together SOON. Not giving a definite chapter count here - it may very well be on the next planet they visit, or it may be during a quest on Korriban, who knows? - but you should definitely start to keep an eye out for it. ;D**

**And what about our resident angst-muffin here? My beta reader said she almost cried reading the flashbacks, so I'm hoping they had an emotional effect on you guys too. Because, I mean, Dustil is just this one-dimensional, arrogant Sith of a character in the game, but when you think about it, he's actually gone through a lot of traumatizing shizz to make him that way. Plus, I just love it when people try to tell Selene's story, so I wanted to make my own contribution to the piles of Telos-flashback-angst-fics out there. :)**

**All right, review time! (Assuming anyone's still reading. XD) When do you think our favorite amnesiac Sith and Republic soldier are going to get together, and how? How about Mission and Dustil - how long is this "frenemy" thing going to last for them? Will any droids be harmed in the process of these two techies' squabbling? How do you think Xana will deal with all the freaky shizz inside the Sith tombs? AND AND AND...when will Uthar finally catch on to Dustil and Xana's little alliance? Hit that button already, I love to hear your ideas! :D**


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